Stay Soft, Stay Open

This episode is about driving down to Virginia for the holidays and the grief that comes for me with this drive.

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Today's episode is a round-up of all the highlights of this week: talking about Asian names names and 백일 with other Asian American moms in the neighborhood, going to the dentist and having a dentist friend, Haejoon and all of the beautiful things he holds within himself, sending a newsletter, and going to therapy.

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This episode is about the Christmas traditions I like — watching B-level Christmas movies like The Princess Switch 1, 2, and 3, making yarn ornaments, and putting up lights and a Christmas tree. I haven't watched Home Alone 1 and 2 since 아빠 died. I think I might be able to watch them this year.

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This episode is about how we aren’t stuck on the hamster wheel of trying to keep up with the social pressures of society, and how we can take all the weights off and get off the wheel. We aren't late for the new year and we're allowed to go slow, stay present, and look back on 2024 with pride that you survived. That alone is a feat worthy of celebration. Perfection is a lie. Failing is succeeding. And there are hidden gifts in the trying.

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This episode is about how we have permission to opt out of the holidays. We are no required to buy a tree, buy gifts, see family, or visit Santa. Holidays are days, just like any other day on the calendar, and we aren't required to do anything that doesn't feel safe for us, even if it's a holiday. I wish I knew this before my dad died. I wish we could've not celebrated Thanksgiving together. I wish we could've done Christmas in our own way together.

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This episode is about my grief group holiday gathering that I had at my home on Sunday, how this past year of friendship with these incredible women has truly been such a blessing to my life, and how we need community like we need air.

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This episode is about a closing reception and artist talk I went to at SK Gallery in Koreatown, for my friend Gyun Hur and Gi Huo, two Korean American artists based in New York City. The exhibit was called, "Invisible Connections," The title of the exhibition refers to an inquiry by poet and translator Don Mee Choi. Choi questions whether true translation is possible, from the Korean language to English, citing the misalignments forged by “neocolonial war, militarism, and neoliberal economy” as insurmountable barriers—spaces of “impossible connections” that cannot be overcome simply by crossing “linguistic and national borders.” You can learn more about the exhibition here on SK Gallery's website: https://www.skgallerynyc.com/impossible-connections.

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This episode is about why I want to change the podcast title to Stay Soft, Stay Open, and how sharing the announcement of Haejoon's birth was met with so much love from our community. The love I received reminded me just how loved and supported I truly am. ⁠

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This episode is about the birth of my child, the challenges I faced and am still facing in postpartum, and how my feelings in the aftermath of 아빠's death mirrored my feelings in the aftermath of Haejoon's birth.

Here's a link to the newsletter: https://open.substack.com/pub/jieunandgreg/p/our-child-is-finally-here

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This episode is about the reasons I want to change the podcast title to Aja Aja, Fighting, and how naming things is hard.

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