Stay Soft, Stay Open

We started our journey to find our Korea identity papers. We went to the 구청 (district office) to get 이모's and 엄마's 호적 (family registry), but we could only get 이모's. Because her last name changed when she came to America, she can't get get her family registry. Her fingerprint didn't work because it's too old and outdated, so they don't match up anymore.

Korea, Day 5, Sunday. This was a really difficult day. All of the stress, the sleep deprivation, all of the massive, massive grief, broke my spirit on this day. I didn't want to be in Korea anymore.

Korea, Day 4. This was a day of massive grief. We went to 할머니 and 할아버지's 산소. This was our first time visiting the grave with 할머니 buried there. We also visited 왕할머니 and 왕할아버지's graves. I grieve the life 할머니 didn't get to live because of the war, the Japanese occupation, the patriarchy of Korea, and the oppression women have to experience in Korea. I grieve how much I didn't see how incredible 할머니 was in this life, and how much time we didn't get to spend together in this life.

Day 3 in Korea. Going on my morning walks, talking to the park 아저씨s, eating 보리밥 and 찰옥수수, going to the library where 이모 has her weekly poetry class, talking to an 아줌마 at the library about her life, dealing with an 오지랖 librarian who was scolding me for talking too loudly, doing laundry, and eating 팥빙수. My 숙모 and 삼촌 brought fried chicken and 미숫가루 for us. The frustrating aspects of Korean culture — strangers getting all up in your business — are also my favorite aspects of Korean culture — everyone feels like family.

Greg is snoring in the background.

In July 2025, we went to Korea for the first time in six and a half years. This was our first time back to Korea since 할머니 died, since 아빠 died, and since Haejoon was born. This episode is about our travel day from America to Korea, and our first two days in Korea. 엄마's family stories, 아빠's family stories, our plans for our trip, and memories from past trips to Korea.

The Korea Collection was recorded from the guest house we stayed at, in Paju, Korea. The final episode of the collection was recorded at our home in Brooklyn.

This episode is about my best friend Andrew, the arc of our enduring friendship, my favorite things about him, and my wishes for his next year of life. Today is his 35th birthday.

This episode is a reading and reflection on a newsletter I wrote and published on May 4 called, “I’m so proud of you.” I read this on a day that I felt like I wasn’t enough — not rich enough, not successful enough, not enough.

You can read along here:

This episode is about the challenges of childbirth and the after-childbirth experience, and how women need far more support—emotional, physical, and mental support—in learning how to become mothers, care for children, and navigate the challenges of their first year of motherhood.

This episode is about the grief that comes with losing a home — a city, a state, a town, a place. Our lives happen in places.

This episode is about my dream of living in Korea. Whenever I leave Korea, I always feel like I’m leaving half of myself behind.