StefanieFaye

Attachment theory is not a 'theory'.. it's a part of our neurophysiological operating system Attachment is a way of seeking proximity to an attachment figure.  It’s a biobehavioral adaptation that helps us regulate ourselves and explore new frontiers. This in...

The post Season 2 Episode 11 – The Neuroscience of Attachment and Emotion Regulation appeared first on StefanieFaye.

Have you ever had the experience of feeling like someone really ‘gets you’?   This can take various forms - like being able to share what’s on our mind and the other person holding space for us to explain. It...

The post Season 2 Episode 10 – The Science of Feeling Understood appeared first on StefanieFaye.

Why do systems fall apart or become dysfunctional?

A system can be a family, relationship, community, business, organization, society. The human mind-brain-body is also a system.

One reason dysfunction can happen is related to hierarchy and ‘signal flow’.

Hierarchies exist throughout nature and throughout human society.

We can see dysfunction happen when the highest levels of a hierarchy are

Optimal functioning of a system requires a state of signal flow where all members or nodes feel ‘understood’.

This experience of being understood is at the core of optimal system functioning within human systems. When we don’t feel understood, it means there is a block of signal flow.

This episode covers the idea of hierarchies and signal flow - and what happens when hierarchies don’t serve the goals of the entire system.

In upcoming articles, I’ll be bringing this concept back down to more personal and interpersonal levels.

The post Season 2 Episode 9 – Hierarchies and Signal Flow appeared first on StefanieFaye.

In this podcast episode, I talk about something called ‘shifting the burden’. It’s about the topic of what we depend on ourselves for, and what we look to others to help us with. The balance of our dependence on ourselves and others - whether in adaptive maladaptive ways - is based on our first experiences with depending on someone.

Many of us simply don’t know how deeply emotional of a subject this is. It is one of our most primitive, primal CORE-to-the-CORE experiences of being human… a battle between wanting to be independent and self-sufficient, and yet also knowing that one of our deepest desires is to connect in authentic ways with others.

My reflection questions at the end of the episode are about your doubts, desires and dependencies - how they interplay on each other and how they’ve been formed over time - through your experiences with others.. and what they’ve doubted, desired and depended on in their own lives.

I hope you find something in this episode helpful.

The post Season 2 Episode 8 – Shifting the Burden appeared first on StefanieFaye.

Normal is based on historical data. It’s based on what has happened the most often in the past. Our past ‘normal’ can make it easy to not question if there is more that’s possible in terms of wellbeing and a deeper sense of meaning for our life. But what we really, truly, deeply need to understand is that the ‘normal mode’ of consuming and doing the same combination of movements day after day without challenging our brain-body to higher and higher levels of creation and exploration is not NATURAL.

We are: COMPLEX ADAPTIVE SYSTEMS. Our NATURE is to adapt to ever-changing, increasingly difficult and complex situations that involve other complex systems so that our adaptive problem-solving faculties become more honed and finely tuned.  Many of our behaviors and patterns are blocking us from tapping into our most natural abilities.

The post Season 2 Episode 7 – Normal versus Natural appeared first on StefanieFaye.

When we focus on trying to 'fix' dysregulation without acknowledging how it emerged, we are conveying a message that somehow the anxiety or overreaction just ‘appeared’ because of an imbalance in their brain and that distress, dysregulation and anxiety are...

The post Season 2 Episode 6 – Why are humans so anxious? and the dark side of mindfulness appeared first on StefanieFaye.

The formation of self-identity and group identity through the lens of hyper-coherent networks, key features of what makes a system resilient.    (remember - your brain, your relationships and human society are all systems).  

To help systems become more flexible and innovative, we need to understand the mechanisms of change.

A mindset or paradigm shift is one of those mechanisms.  

This is what can free our mind to experiment with perspectives that are guided by our values - rather than only confirming a narrow field of vision based on our past, which is largely driven by our tribal identity.

The post Season 2 Episode 5 – Resilience, Stability and Hyper-Coherent Networks appeared first on StefanieFaye.

The human species has some pretty spectacular systems built into us to achieve mental, emotional and physiological states that most of us are not even really aware of. 

We also have systems and features within us that make us very vulnerable to being influenced and 'programmed' into behavior that is not reflective of our most evolved neural circuitry.

Technology is interfering with and manipulating those systems. 

And the more we get to know how technology is interfering with those systems, the more we can get control over our internal state rather than let the tech companies (who do not have the best interests of the human brain and nervous system in mind) hack into our vulnerabilities.  

The post Season 2 Episode 4 – Tech Addiction and the Social Dilemna appeared first on StefanieFaye.

  What do a viral video and a stampede of animals have in common? It's a mechanism that is also related to 'self-fulfilling prophecies', self-beliefs, anxiety and negative thinking in general. It has to do with something called 'positive feedback'....

The post Season 2 Episode 3 – Feedback Loops appeared first on StefanieFaye.

    One of the most complex adaptive systems we know of is the brain*.    When we are trying to understand a complex system, one of the most important things for us to think about is its function.   ...

The post Season 2 Episode 2- Your Brain’s Predictions and Paradigms appeared first on StefanieFaye.