Stolendroids Podcast

It's funny how a state that has an anthropomorphic set of male genitals as a mascot for a local college feels that they have the moral high ground when it comes to porn. No, seriously look it up; if you want to look at porn in Rhode Island, you'll have to pay your extortion fee to the state . . . or go to a college game and watch their mascot. Keep it classy Rhode Island!

In other wonderful news, Trump has no idea how anything in the world works it seems as he panders to scared, conservative elderly people by blaming violence on Pong. So, you know that battle we've been fighting (and winning) for the last 20 years? Yeah, he just renewed it. Oh, also, Equifax. Because, Equifax.

Headlines:

* Washington state becomes the first to enforce net neutrality

* Rhode Island becomes the first to become a digital police state

* Trump is a moron

* Snap Bros LLC lays of the department that may actually know what it's doing

* Amazon apologizes to Alexa owners for letting the trapped child's soul in their Echo speak

* The bros over at Uber don't seem to have much to show

* Uber's data breach gets expensive in Pennsylvania

* Equifax.

* MoviePass CEO jokes about being from 1984. Says he was joking.

* Chicago mobs work a little differently now than they used to.

* UK empowers their citizens to fight back against unfair ISP's

Zuke’s Favorite: Lost In Space

Zohner’s Favorite: The Ring Doorbell

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Hey, do you know what happens when Zuke reads a lot of words, but never hears them out loud? He can't pronounce them. So words like applique, chipotle, and banal come out VERY different than they should.

In actual news, if a company says that some accounts may have been accessed, it's just best to assume ALL accounts have been accessed. If Google is suddenly launching a product out of nowhere, it's likely to try and beat another company to the punch. And if you deliberately write malware code that you INTEND to be used to screw over people, expect no sympathy from us when you are sentenced to prison. If it were up to us, you'd be gelded on the spot.

Headlines:

* On behalf of Utah, we're sorry

* Equifax found more people behind the couch that were compromised

* The few, the proud, the ones with stolen identities

* New password integration will tell you if your login has been compromised

* Snap forgets the failure of their first glasses. Plans to do it again

* Snap's first year may have been a payday to the CEO, but no one else is getting paid

* The battle to restore Net Neutrality is already underway!

* Malware author surprisingly doesn't get death penalty

* Google "launches" Slack competitor, but really just to go against Microsoft

* Amazon buys Ring to bring it into the Alexa fold

* New Blackberry is heading to India . . . supposedly.

* Fitbit plans on a new family of smart watches

* Want a Galaxy S9? Just buy it straight from Samsung

Zuke’s Favorite: How to make your own moon

Zohner’s Favorite: The Hamilton Polka

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We've got news from the Mobile World Congress and Nokia has got some cool stuff for us! Yeah, I know: we're surprised too!

Apple, meanwhile, can't seem to sell enough of the iPhone X to really make it last and Samsung might be holding back on features until 2019. Elsewhere we've got conservatives who act like bots and retweet bots and follow bots . . . surprised and upset that they are getting tagged as possible bots. I'm not judging, I'm just saying that if you don't want to be called a cultist then maybe you shouldn't be drinking Kool-Aid in that white robe!

Headlines:

* Nokia's new flagship smartphone has it going on in all the right places

* Samsung unveils the Galaxy S9 and S9+

* Samsung restarts Galaxy S8 OTA rollout

* The first $999 Android phone is not what you thought

* T-Mobile knows how to handle a vulnerability

* iPhone X sales are not going as well as hoped

* Intel is just being the worst with this Meltdown business

* Samsung Max is here and it's strong

* Swype for Android and iOS is no more.

* I take it back, Russian bots are the worst

* Twitter's new rules might hurt us

* Maybe don't retweet so many bots if you don't want to be considered a bot!

* Kylie Jenner just erased $1.5B worth of Snap value with a tweet

* Snap to users: "We hear you, we just don't care."

* Snap CEO gets third biggest payout ever

* FCC officially kills net neutrality. Let the Hunger Games begin

* Google releases Microsoft flaws, again.

* OMG IT'S THE MATRIX PHONE!

Zuke’s Favorite: Automatic Pro

Zohner’s Favorite: DNA Testing Kit

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Don't you hate it when the app you don't really need to use to do something you don't actually need to do makes changes? It makes it just so difficult to do the thing. How can they even expect you to continue on like that?

On a slightly more serious note, there's a sneeze somewhere in this episode that I was going to edit out so you wouldn't have to listen to it, but I forgot. So, SPOILER ALERT: You are going to hear me clear my entire nasal passage REALLY QUICKLY. If you're wearing headphones . . . well, just don't listen on headphones. How about we just say that and call it good.

Oh yeah, and Nokia beat out Google, HTC, and Sony in the smartphone market (say whaaaaaaat?).

Headlines:

* Huawei phones get the boycott from FBI, CIA, NSA

* Verizon decides to stop listening to FCC because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

* Nokia is the 11th highest selling smartphone in the world?!

* The HTC 10 supposedly has Android O, but no one has seen the update yet

* Samsung stops Android O rollout, then deletes it from servers

* YouTube TV gains channels without being a better value

* Finally! You can share your shopping list with Facebook friends!

* Twitter to discontinue Mac client

* Snapchat CEO says user's tears only make his erection grow

* Belgium tells Facebook to stop tracking people

* Intel is in the middle of 32 class action lawsuits over Meltdown

* Windows introduces high performance mode

* Apple HomePod is out to destroy your furniture

* But so is the Sonos One!

Zuke’s Favorite: Olympic Upset is Awesome Upset

Zohner’s Favorite: Black Panther

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No sleep and no sleep make Zohner something something.

There is a ton of news in the tech world this week and none of it makes a lick of sense. It doesn't help that we're recording the episode so late that it might as well be morning. So, um, yeah. Here are some headlines.

Headlines:

* Apple says it doesn't need obscurity for security. We'll see.

* Apple innovates new types of debt

* Apple Watch can accidentally detect diabetes

* Intel is making glasses you WANT to wear

* Yes, Samsung is releasing a foldable phone!

* Google releases Visual Core to 3rd party apps

* Google is being sued for the Pixel phone launch

* Windows 10 S is dead. Long live Windows 10 S.

* Google says "No more unsecure web for you!"

* Twitter actually MADE money!

* Facebook is testing the feature we all want for all the wrong reasons

* Nest is done as a stand alone company

* Best Buy stops selling CD's. Is this a bad thing?

* Amazon is launching their own delivery service, like we didn't know this already

* Equifax really is just the worst!

Zuke’s Favorite: BLR NFL

Zohner’s Favorite: 100 Years of Jack Kirby

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In breaking news that shouldn't surprise anyone, you are surrounded by computers. They are in your car, on your wrist, in your pocket, in your backpack, in your microwave! Unless, apparently, you're an Apple user; then it's all magic, I guess. At least that's the message Apple seems to be trying to drive home with their latest marketing push. "Don't think about it. It's beautiful. It just works, 'automagically'!"

In other news, companies that should have nothing to do with making software continue to do so anyway in an effort to further ruin your life. Unfortunately, even the companies that ARE supposed to make software are finding ways to ruin your life by leaking information too! Also, ever think you'd hear an idea that was so bad that even Ajit Pai gives it a hard "NOPE"? Yeah, me either.

Headlines:

• Equifax needs to stop developing software
• Slack leaves the Apple Watch
• Apple ads are just plain stupid.
• Samsung's numbers show they are now officially richer than God.
• Latest data shows people choose Google G Suites when they don't know Office365 is a thing.
• YouTube TV hits Roku, Apple TV coming soon.
• Advocacy group wants to kill Facebook Messenger for Kids. We should let them.
• Google acquires HTC. Well, the parts of it that matter anyway.
• A nationalized 5G network is such a bad idea, even Ajit Pai is against it.
• Fitness tracking data just disclosed some CIA black sites.
• Facebook blocks a user group because they're worried it might look racist if they don't?
• OnePlus accidentally exposes 40,000 users credit cards

Zuke’s Favorite: Ant-Man and the Wasp

Zohner’s Favorite: #whiteeyesmatter

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So, it turns out that maybe (just maybe) the concept of Net Neutrality was actually a good one. And maybe (just maybe) it would have benefited the ISP's as well. And maybe (probably) we are going to witness a hilarious walk back in policies as major ISP's try and get the FCC to stop this boulder they've pushed down the mountain. Who knew?!

Also, people are really stupid about which information they're ok with sharing and when they decide to actually freak out about it: Facebook telling people in the immediate vicinity where I am and what I'm doing and who I'm with? That's convenience. Microsoft asking my PC which model of CPU I have so it can track performance and vulnerabilities? MAJOR BREACH OF PRIVACY!

Headlines:

• AT&T is the first to figure out that maybe Net Neutrality was good
• Well, Montana figured it out before AT&T
• Ethics Oversight to investigate FCC fraud in Net Neutrality
• The Galaxy S9 looks pretty . . . meh?
• Newsflash! Google is tracking info in phones.
• We turn everything over to Russia to study the code, then get surprised when they can hack it?
• Apple gets with the times and enables emergency location tracking
• Surprise, surprise. Another dating app has insecure encryption.
• YouTube's support of artists seems a lot like a shakedown
• Microsoft: "You say you want transparency? Fine! Here's ALL THE DATA!"
• New Windows 10 laptops take solid aim at Chromebooks
• Intel asks you to stop installing the patch they insisted you install
• Top Tech Tip! Don't bite your batteries. Ever.

Zuke’s Favorite: Star Trek, Tarantino style!

Zohner’s Favorite: Best ribs ever

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Google is having problems as they rush to fix WiFi bugs, while Apple continues to copy Samsung by having phone batteries catch fire. Meanwhile, Amazon is looking for the next big city to plunder and the federal government is looking to extort the major mobile phone companies. It's absolute madness all around!

Headlines:

• Google moves to take on Audible
• Amazon looks to destroy another city, Hunger Games style
• Google Home introduces WiFi problem into homes
• Chromecast WiFi bug gets a patch
• Google Pay to try and bring back Google Wallet
• New iOS setting will let you turn off battery throttling
• iPhone battery reportedly starts smoking
• Apple to bring $350B back into the USA
• Rumors are circulating that iPhone X may soon reach the end of life!
• Apple shareholders worry about iPhone addiction
• Tim Cook says that's stupid
• macOS learns what it means to be popular with DNS hack
• Minority Report style system isn't any better than guessing
• Facebook will soon prioritize news you think is "trustworthy"
• Feds threaten cell carriers if they don't drop Huawei

Zuke’s Favorite: Holdo basically "Dragonball-D'd" the First Order

Zohner’s Favorite: Brush smarter

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Well, it’s 2018 and so far, it’s not looking great. Intel’s hardware has a massive defect that’s requiring software patches that throttle performance, GoPro and eero are doing mass layoffs, HP computers caught Samsung’s flu and now their batteries are exploding, and this is just the first 20 minutes of our show!

Headlines:

• Ohh, ISP uses extortion on customers! Yay no Net Neutrality
• GoPro lays off a significant portion of the company
• HP goes all Samsung on us
• FCC continues to try and screw us over
• Intel design flaw ruins the computer industry
• Vulnerability affects Intel, AMD, ARM, and Apple
• Intel CEO made sure to sell his stock before releasing info on the vulnerability
• EPIC Games says Intel is to blame for performance issues
• Class action lawsuit goes after Intel
• Intel launches new 8th Gen Core CPU. No one cares.
• eero lays off 30 people. Says they will stick to wifi
• Spotify hit with a massive lawsuit for copyright infringement

Zuke’s Favorite: Flaming cyclone fountain! OH YEAHHHH

Schmidty’s Favorite: This Video Is 2D And 3D Simultaneously: the Pulfrich Effect

Collin’s Favorite: Earthbound Let's Play | IdiotBoxGames

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