If you've ever felt like you know exactly what to do but still can't seem to move forward, The Messy Middle is for you. Join me live and let's uncover what's really keeping you stuck: The Messy Middle Online Workshop
Episode Summary
Have you ever known exactly what you need to do - make the call, raise your prices, have the conversation, start the business - and still found yourself unable to move?
In this episode, Rita explores what she calls the liminal space: the uncomfortable threshold between the life you've outgrown and the life you're trying to create. It's the place where one foot is planted in what's familiar and the other is reaching for what you say you want.
The truth? You're probably not stuck because you need more information. You're stuck because your nervous system mistakes what's familiar for what's safe, and because the gap between knowing and doing is often an identity gap, not a strategy gap.
Through powerful personal stories, practical tools, and some loving fire, Rita breaks down why women stay parked in the doorway of their lives, and exactly how to take the next step forward.
Key Takeaways
- The messy middle is the doorway between your current identity and your future self. You can't stay in the old room and expect to experience a new life.
- Familiar doesn't always mean safe. Your nervous system often keeps you attached to situations, relationships, and patterns simply because they're known.
- Confidence isn't built by winning - it's built by keeping your word to yourself. Every promise you keep strengthens self-trust.
- Growth requires becoming, not just doing. The question isn't "How do I get there?" It's "Who do I need to become?"
- Courage always comes before confidence. You don't feel ready and then act, you act, and confidence catches up on the other side.
The 5 Tools Rita Shares
1. Catch the "if."
Pay attention to your language. Replace "if I hit my goal" with "when I hit my goal." Your words reveal whether you're committed or still standing in the doorway.
2. Reassure the scared part of yourself.
The frightened part of you isn't the enemy, she's trying to protect you. Instead of shaming her, remind her: "I've got you. We're safe. We'll figure it out."
3. Keep one small promise to yourself today.
Self-confidence is built one kept promise at a time. Choose something tiny, do it, and begin rebuilding trust with yourself.
4. Stop asking "how" and start asking "who."
Who can support you? Who do you need to become? The next level of your life isn't created by doing more, it's created by becoming someone new.
5. Decide.
A decision cuts off retreat. Stop leaving one foot in the old room. Pick up the back foot and step.
Timestamps
[01:15] What the messy middle really is and why so many women are stuck there
[10:45] The doorway metaphor: one foot in the old life, one foot in the life you want
[22:30] Why your nervous system confuses familiar with safe
[35:20] The hidden cost of standing still and breaking promises to yourself
[48:15] The five tools to move through the doorway and rebuild self-trust
[59:45] Why courage comes first, confidence comes second, and the power of deciding
Resources
- Reflect on where you may be standing in the "doorway" in your life.
- Write down one goal, vision, or number that represents your next level.
- Tape it somewhere you'll see every day.
- Ask yourself: "Who do I need to become to create this result?"
Next Steps
Take five quiet minutes today and ask yourself:
Where am I still standing in the doorway?
Not in your head—feel the answer in your body.
Are you holding onto what's familiar because it feels safe? Or are you finally ready to pick up the back foot and step into the life you've been talking about for years?
The woman on the other side is waiting for you.
Ready to stop standing with one foot in and one foot out? Join me for The Messy Middle, a free live workshop where we'll unpack the hidden patterns keeping you stuck and help you take the next step forward with clarity and confidence. Save your seat here: The Messy Middle Online Workshop
Please be sure to tag me @RitaMarieMendez on Instagram and share this episode with your community to spread the word if you or someone you know has benefited from this episode! I'd love to hear about your experience!
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Links/Resources:
Rita's Website: Go to the Website
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