Say this, not that. Knowing what to say in the heat of the moment is key to defusing workplace drama.

Karin Hurt and David Dye should know. They wrote the book on it.

Karin and David are leadership experts and the founders of Let's Grow Leaders. They surveyed 5,000 people in 45 countries to gauge the most common forms of workplace conflict.

The results aren't good. Workplace conflict is more complicated than ever before, thanks to an uncertain economy, remote work and a changing workforce.

"And so that is all of that really combines to make complex conflict cocktails," says David.

Karin Hurt and David Dye are the authors of "Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict."

It offers 300 phrases to diffuse everything from micromanagers to bullies to passive-aggressive types.

"Well, the first thing you do is don't call them passive-aggressive," says Karin. "One of the most important things that you can do there is to start with a connection, you know. So start, you know, making the human connection. 'You know, hey? I know we both want the same thing here.' And then you give the thing."

It's like having a script for difficult people. The advice works for a workplace and your personal life, too.

David says, "sometimes people will say, well, you can't script a whole conversation, can you? And no, you can't, because we're human beings and we're messy. But if we can open the door with connection by introducing clarity and getting curious about the other person's perspective, then we can land on a firm commitment that opens the door to a meaningful conversation."