Stork'd

Host, Julia Karol, launches the fifth season of Stork'd! She walks us through some exciting topics coming up in this fifth season. Episodes include experiencing shame for not wanting to have children, losing a child and being blamed and trolled on social media, navigating IVF as a couple, fertility fraud, consent during your birth experience, fertility astrology, parenting approaches and so much more.

Today, Julia shares her parenting journey and how becoming a parent has transformed her. She explores the Gray Flamingo analogy and asks the question: is it ok to lose yourself in your parenting? Julia also opens up about the experience of dating while becoming a solo parent by choice.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [00:00] Julia explains why she originally started the Skork'd podcast
• [02:00] Season five brings new authors and experiences to share
• [03:32] The theme of consent to a variety of life issues will be a focus for various podcasts in season five
• [08:00] Julia is focusing on a new concept called the family positivity movement which celebrates families of all types and images
• [10:00] Julia shares her parenting journey and discusses does it change you (i.e., reference the title of this episode the "Gray Flamingo"), and if it does change you, then what
• [17:46] Julia discusses her romantic relationship and how it evolved, and how pregnancy affected the relationship
• [22:00] Julia expresses vulnerability to this listening audience regarding the family she has built
• [25:34] Follow this podcast on social media. Here is season five.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Every episode of season five of Stork'd will be exciting and enjoyable. There will be so much to learn from these guests.
• Julia's story of her journey to be a solo parent is brave. She is a great role model for anyone walking through infertility.
• Your life changes when you have a family. It doesn't mean you are fundamentally better as a person, but you are fundamentally different.

RESOURCE LINKS:

• Stork'd Facebook

• Stork'd YouTube

• Stork'd Instagram

About Julia Karol:

When she is not hosting Stork'd®, Julia runs a private investment firm that acquires, operates, and improves businesses at a crossroads. She loves supporting businesses to grow and evolve. Passionate about social change, Julia also supports several non-profit organizations.

Julia's passions outside work include hiking, skiing, yoga, and reading. She lives in Boston with her dog and son.

In this week's season 4 finale episode of Stork'd, we are joined by Tracy Weiss. Tracy is a cancer survivor who lost her chance of having biological children and in so doing, she gives up on the vision she has of a future daughter to be named Moxie. Tracy's journey is full of surprises and tough decisions that she had to make at the young age of 30. One of the biggest surprises is that her insurance company considered her egg and embryo freezing treatment prior to surgery and chemo to be "elective" which led her to her mission now to help other women facing cancer to access fertility preservation treatments. Tracy discusses what it was like jumping back into the "real world" post-cancer, and how her mindset changed as she went through the healing process mentally and physically. She also discusses dating in your early 40's post cancer. Tune in this outstanding season finale episode to hear Tracy discuss how her journey has led her to the company Chick Mission, and their dedication to helping other women with a cancer diagnosis preserve their fertility.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [2:34] Introduction to Tracy Weiss.
• [4:00] Information about The Chick Mission.
• [5:41] What was Tracy's life before she was diagnosed with cancer?
• [9:22] Tracy talks about the journey of discovering she had cancer.
• [16:24] How did Tracy tell her friends and family and handle the information about her diagnosis?
• [22:15] How many different doctors did Tracy see throughout this journey without hearing that she should preserve her fertility?
• [25:43] Did Tracy always appreciate her amazing set of friends and community?
• [29:26] What is fertility preservation?
• [32:12] Tracy tells us more about freezing embryos.
• [34:32] How did it feel for Tracy to re-enter life post-cancer?
• [39:15] What happened to Tracy's embryo's when she got divorced? What was her grieving process?
• [42:10] What is the dating experience after cancer?

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Your reality isn't a fact for everyone. Something you may have, someone else may be longing for.
• Each person in your life can offer you different experiences in your life. Someone around you has likely experienced something that you are going through or knows someone who has gone through it.
• Insurance providers don't consider Cancer an eligible diagnosis for fertility preservation, the Chick Mission is working to change that.
• The flexibility you don't have with embryos you have with eggs. An embryo has to be owned by two people, which has legal implications.

RESOURCE LINKS

North Forkd Instagram

The Chick Mission Website

Chick Mission Instagram

Stork'd Facebook Page

Stork'd on Instagram

Stork'd YouTube Channel

About Tracy Weiss

Tracy Weiss is a cancer survivor who was diagnosed with cervical cancer at age 30. She definitely knew what the cervix did, no matter what anyone tells you. Tracy was pretty annoyed when her insurance company denied her claim to preserve her fertility under it being 'elective' -- as if having a tumor was something anyone would choose. She remained pretty pissed until The Chick Mission was founded to help women standing in her shoes -- now she gets her revenge every time another woman receives assistance from the organization. Tracy serves as our Executive Director and Chief Creative Officer with her magical blend of Email Inbox Management and OddBall Ideas.

In this week's episode, we are joined by journalist and podcast host, Louise McLoughlin.. Louise tells us the story of finding out she was donor-conceived, how she found her biological father and sister, and the feelings she experienced throughout the process. We also talk about what it was like for her family to accept that she wanted to search for her biological father. Louise discusses her work on her podcast, You Look Like Me, where she interviews donor-conceived people and has become a leader giving voice to the donor-conceived community. We explore the trends and themes of donor conception, including the potential to have a large number of biological siblings, discovering your bio family, medical risks to having limited access to your medical history, and other experiences in the donor conceived community. Louise advocates for listening to the donor-conceived people's stories, being honest with donor-conceived children and helping walk them through uncovering the qualities that came from their bio-parent. Tune in today to hear the impacts and story of a donor-conceived person.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [3:00] Louise introduces herself and tells her story.
• [5:41] Louise shares with us the moment she learned she was donor conceived.
• [12:10] What was it like for Louise to find out her father wasn't her biological father?
• [15:53] If Louise could write the laws, what would she want to put into place?
• [19:25] What is the story about Louise finding a sister and her biological father?
• [29:45] How has the relationship changed with Louise's dad since finding her bio-dad?
• [36:20] What does "enough" mean to Louise regarding finding her bio-sister?
• [37:06] What themes does Louise hear through her work?
• [39:20] How does it feel to be going on the journey of uncovering who you are as a donor-conceived child?
• [43:50] Relationships & Honesty are two things Louise is an advocate for.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Knowing the information about genetic medical issues is so important that people can be aware of any genetic illnesses early—knowledge of power from so many perspectives.
• Wanting to know where these things come from - a sense of humor, nose, personality traits, etc. It doesn't have to be wanting to replace a non-bio parent, but it can just be wanting to learn more about who you are.
• Donor conceived children and the story are really just a part of what a modern family looks like now. There shouldn't be shame carried with going on this journey of donor conceived children.

RESOURCE LINKS

You Look Like Me Instagram

You Look Like Me Podcast

Stork'd Facebook Page

Stork'd on Instagram

Stork'd YouTube Channel

About Louise McLoughlin:

Louise McLoughlin is host of 'You Look Like Me', a podcast which explores the secrets and discoveries of donor conceived people, to explore issues around identity, honesty, and why knowing the truth about yourself matters. The podcast reached number 1 in the Irish documentary charts, 10 in the UK, and 69 in the U.S, and was a Guardian podcast of the week in 2021

In this week's episode, we are joined by Lauren Isley, a genetic counselor at California Cryobank. Have you ever wondered how a sperm bank selects and evaluates its donors? Lauren walks us through what genetics counseling is and how it supports clients in their fertility needs. She shares with us the process of selecting sperm donors, supporting clients in selecting the right donor or in making major decisions based on genetics.She lifts the veil of what goes on behind the scenes and helps reveal the mystery that goes on to create a successful program. Lauren also gives excellent advice for those getting started choosing a donor. Tune in today to get a great understanding of how cryobanks work!

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [3:35] Welcome, Lauren Isley! Learning about Lauren's work.
• [7:39] Under what circumstances might someone need genetic counseling?
• [10:15] What occurs behind the scenes to ensure sperm meets guidelines?
• [13:50] What conditions make someone eligible to be an egg or sperm donor?
• [16:14] How does California Cryobank look at the risk a potential donor might have vs. the number of donors needed?
• [22:55] What percentage of egg or sperm donors are eligible, and what might make donors unqualified?
• [25:38] How does California Cryobank keep up with new genetic information? If there is a new genetic mutation, do they go back and remove those donors?
• [28:28] What happens when new medical information is received after a child is born or the donor uncovers information?
• [36:37] How has technology like 23&Me shifted the number of donors?
• [43:48] What filters and mechanisms does California Cryobank use regarding the number of families who can use a particular donor?

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• When starting your search, start with 2 or 3 items that are your primary criteria. Do you want ethnicity? Height, Education? Whatever it is, start small and narrow down.
• The cryobank goes through a lot behind the scenes to screen donors. They have a lot of guidelines for donors, including genetics. Some genetic testing will be discussed to see if a recipient will want to move forward with the donor, while others will need testing from the recipient to see if they also care about the genetic mutation.
• Donors are providing people with the gift of life! The process is long for them, so they deserve much love and appreciation for making the gift a reality.

RESOURCE LINKS

California Cryobank

California Cryobank Instagram

Stork'd Facebook Page

Stork'd on Instagram

Stork'd YouTube Channel

About Lauren:

Lauren is a genetic counselor by training and after graduating with a Master's of Science in Genetic Counseling degree from Wayne State University in Detroit, MI, she began her career in the field of assisted reproductive technology, where she has practiced for the past decade. Her various roles include preimplantation genetic testing, gamete donor screening, and reproductive genetic testing. Across these multiple roles, Lauren has focused on educating both patients and healthcare providers about reproductive genetics. Lauren has published several papers and abstracts related to genetic testing and gamete donors and spoken at multiple national conferences on these topics. Lauren previously served as Chair for the Genetic Counseling Professional Group of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) and Co-Chair of the Assisted Reproductive Technology and Infertility Special Interest Group of the National Society of Genetic Counselors. She is currently a Medical Science Liaison at Generate Life Sciences, the parent company for California Cryobank, Donor Egg Bank USA, and Cord Blood Registry

In this week's episode, we are joined by journalist Meg St-Esprit. Meg is a parent of 4 children: 2 different sets of siblings, all through adoption. She shares her journey through adoption and the dynamic and interwoven way in which her family has integrated loved ones through open adoption. We talk about the nuances of weaving a family together through open adoption including holding space for your children's emotions and having your own emotional self awareness. We also discuss adopting children with special needs and the best way to support them. Lastly, we discuss what family means to her. Meg is an incredible storyteller with a gift for articulating the complexities inherent in adoption and an ability to hold the full spectrum of emotions for herself and on behalf of her children. Tune in today to hear Meg's beautiful story about open adoption.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [3:05] Meg shares a little overview of who she is.
• [4:00] We learn the tapestry about how Meg's family was created.
• [8:02] Understanding the difference between glorification and celebration regarding adoption.
• [9:35] The show A Baby Story from TLC and what the show portrayed.
• [11:30] Meg shares her journey throughout their adoptions and the options of choice.
• [14:13] Meg tells us what open adoption means in her family: "I didn't realize that we would all just become family."
• [16:45] What does it look like to partner in an open adoption?
• [20:54] What terminology would a close friend use when asking about Meg's family?
• [23:33] How did Meg end up adopting two sets of siblings?
• [30:32] What does it mean to be equipped to take on adopted children or children with special needs?
• [32:44] How should someone prepare themselves for adding a child to the family who has special needs?
• [35:50] How does Meg advocate for her children?
• [38:47] What are the key messages that Meg wants people to walk away with after hearing her story?

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Adoption isn't about a family wanting a child; it's about finding a family for a child. Most of the time, the birth mother simply wants what is best for her baby, which may look like another family parenting the child, and that's ok! The child's needs need to be considered first.
• The kids can choose how and who they define as family. Allow the children to decide who they want as their family and what they call them. In Meg's case, she has four children, each with a biological sibling, but they still consider each other brothers and sisters (no discussion around bio or not). For some families, it might be more comfortable to split who is biological and who isn't. Let the children decide.
• It takes deep self-awareness to go into adoption. Be honest with yourself on what needs you can meet for a child, what kind of adoption you are open to, and what feels the best for your family. Adopting parents shouldn't think they have to take the first child available for adoption; it's if you can genuinely love and care for that child.
• Don't make a child feel like they are a second option. Many adopt after being unable to conceive, and children feel like they are the second choice. Build our children to know they are loved and everything you want.

RESOURCE LINKS

Meg St-Esprit's Website

Meg St-Esprit's Instagram

A Blog Meg wrote about Open Adoption and What to Expect

Stork'd Facebook Page

Stork'd on Instagram

Stork'd YouTube Channel

BIO:

Meg St-Esprit, M. Ed. is a freelance writer based in Pittsburgh, PA. She's a mom to four kids via adoption, as well as a twin mom. She loves to write about parenting, education, trends, and the general hilarity of raising little people. Find more of Meg's work at www.megstesprit.com.

Today's conversation with Emily Green is all about the importance of women taking control of their financial destiny as it relates to family planning. Emily and I chat about balancing the trade-offs between your career and personal goals. We talk about the pressures of corporate culture on moms, gender salary gaps, and maternity leave. Money is never easy to talk about but it's a lot less overwhelming when you can make a plan and prioritize the things that are most important to you.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [04:32] Pressures women face in the financial industry.
• [08:06] How to plan for financial goals in every season and earning gaps among women and men.
• [16:20] Mom guilt and financial decisions that come after you have a child.
• [23:44] Cultural expectations for working moms.
• [25:58] Emily's wake up call to motherhood during the Pandemic.
• [34:07] How Emily viewed motherhood and her career before pregnancy versus now.
• [37:55] How Emily defines family.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Too many corporate cultures view women starting families as a cost to business. However, if you look at the research, the cost to the business is the fact that they do not support women through these times and then women end up leaving. Then you have a cost to hire and train someone new.
• Women's salaries peak earlier than men's because women take career breaks for their families. Women tend to have kids and take a possible short career break so their salaries peak in their forties, which versus men's peak in their fifties.
• In a survey by Everlast, a majority of women said that thinking about money made them anxious and physically ill. It is vital to have those hard conversations about finances and financial goals.

Resources:

Ellevest Website

BIO:

With more than a decade of experience in private and corporate investment banking, most recently at J.P. Morgan, Emily is dedicated to helping women achieve financial strength and independence. Emily is on the board of Plan International USA and a steering committee member of Alvin Ailey's Young Patron Circle.

Emily on LinkedIn

Instagram | @Ellevest

In this week's episode, we are joined by Michele Katz. Michele is the founder of the Plus One Adoption Foundation and a mother of 4, two adopted, and two biological children. Michele shares her story about the adoption process and how she is blending cultures in their family. She also discusses many aspects of adoption, such as the differences between agencies and orphanages, what to consider when adopting, and how processes differ across companies and countries. Tune in today to hear Michele's story and her mission with her foundation.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [2:07] What does Michele's family life currently look like?
• [2:37] How did Michele's family come to be?
• [6:25] Fertility and adoption process at the same time. Which process seemed easier?
• [9:10] Michele tells us about her journey of adoption.
• [13:00] How did Michele incorporate the culture of origin of her adopted children into their lives?
• [19:56] What are the differences between agencies and orphanages?
• [21:28] What was the matching process between the two children Michele adopted, and what was it like meeting the children for the first time?
• [23:15] Michele tells us about the Plus One Adoption foundation and how it came to be.
• [25:42] Are there different parenting ways with the kids Michele carried vs. her adopted children?
• [30:00] What does adoption trauma look like?
• [32:47] How does one go into the decision to adopt an infant vs. an older child?
• [35:54] What does the conversation look like for a blended family of adoption vs. biological?
• [39:10] What does family mean to Michele?

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Sometimes it's just important to have another person to share your journey with, another person to listen to, someone to share the options and allow your family to decide which is right for you.
• There will be unknowns, but as a parent, you parent the best you can. Whether adopted or biological, there will be unknowns in what you will get with your children.
• Weighing out the pros and cons is essential. Do you want to adopt an older child? Do you want to adopt a younger child? What country do you want to adopt from? What age do you want to be when your child graduates? Do you want an open or closed adoption?

RESOURCE LINKS

Plus One Foundation Website

Plus One Foundation Instagram

Michele's LinkedIn

Email: [email protected]

Stork'd Facebook Page

Stork'd on Instagram

Stork'd YouTube Channel

BIO:

Michele Katz is not only the Founder of Plus One Adoption Foundation, Inc. but also the Founder of the intellectual property law firm Advitam IP, LLC. Passionate about giving back, she (in collaboration with her firm and her family) started a scholarship fund in the name of her beloved father, an icon in the IP field, and annually funds a master's scholarship in the innovative sciences at The Hebrew University (Israel). As a servant leader, Michele served as the President of the National Association of Women Business Owners, Chicago Chapter, propelling women business owners into social, economic, and political spheres of influence.

Today we talk with Samantha Diamond, founder of Bird & Be about PCOS, infertility, miscarriage and loss. Samantha shares her journey with secondary infertility, trying to have her third baby and how she would advise her younger self to grieve and heal differently than she did at the time. We discuss supplements and hormone testing as tools to support fertility and the many ways that Bird & Be is intentionally non-triggering and inclusive to those who are going through very complicated, emotional journeys with family building. This conversation centers on how we can better feel heard, seen, safe and lighter in our journeys to creating our families.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [02:18] Samantha's PCOS diagnosis and why she started Bird & Be
• [12:05] Triggering elements of reproductive products and Bird & Be's focus on all partners in the creation process
• [20:33] Product formulation and the creation of Bird & Be
• [24:43] Does naturopathic medicine actually work
• [28:27] Samantha's infertility journey and advice would give to others
• [36:00] How to respond and support others experiencing infertility or loss

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• If you're having pain or if there is anything that is slightly abnormal in your cycle or with your partner, do not wait to see a doctor and start testing.
• One of the best things that people can do to optimize their fertility is to get educated from a reproductive health perspective, but also from a testing perspective. The more you know about your body, the better you are positioned to make certain decisions.
• The CDC and Health Canada guidelines suggest you should be on a prenatal supplement at least three months before you start trying to conceive. In addition to your standard prenatal vitamin our naturopathic doctors suggest you should also be taking a high quality antioxidant.

Resources:

@birdbeco - https://instagram.com/birdbeco

https://birdandbe.com/

BIO:

Samantha is the Co-Founder and CEO of Bird & Be, a company designed to grow families through science backed, at-home products that are personalized to each customer's journey to and through parenthood.

She remains on a mission to create a brand reflective of the modern person's fertility journey, that will ultimately optimize the route to conception. She is a champion of self-advocacy and aims to educate people with eggs AND sperm on their own reproductive health and options.

Before launching The Bird & Be Co., Sam co-founded a PR Agency in 2011, which she sold after a decade in business. She is a mom of three and lives in Toronto, Canada.

In this week's episode, we are joined by Yvette Anderson, co-founder of Anderson's Meet The Need, a nonprofit she and her husband felt called to create after the loss of their newborn son. In today's episode, we will learn more about the son that inspired her work. We hear the heartbreaking story of Yvette's difficulties getting pregnant, her journey with preeclampsia, and the loss of her son RJ. Her story is raw and emotional; we learn of her strength and struggles during this difficult time. Tune in today to hear how Yvette turned her tragedy into triumph with her organization.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [3:59] What are the "Project of Promise" missions?
• [8:20] Yvette talks about what it was like growing up in a family in need.
• [14:24] Yvette discusses her emergency hospitalization due to life threatening preeclampsia.
• [25:10] The story of her child's delivery.
• [30:29] Yvette shares her feelings as she watched her son pass away
• [32:56] Her preeclampsia had turned into a pulmonary embolism.
• [38:20] Yvette tells us about going home after her loss and medical difficulties.
• [41:46] What was Yvette's relationship with God and herself during grieving?
• [49:56] Advice Yvette shares to help someone who might be going through a similar situation.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• You don't have to stay in a dark place. The enemy would love for us to stay in that place, but you don't have to. You will smile again; you will laugh again.
• Utilize the support around you. You don't have to endure the pain alone; lean on those around you. Having someone there with you lets you know that you are not alone.
• Yvette turned her tragedy of losing her son into triumph when she created MTN Organization, a non-discriminatory, non-profit that serves various communities throughout NJ with free food pantry that promotes a healthier way of eating and living.

RESOURCE LINKS

Meet The Need Website

Meet The Need Instagram

"About Preeclampsia"

BIO:

Yvette Anderson has been active in various communities throughout NJ for almost 20 years before co-founding MTN in 2010. Helping others has always been a huge passion of hers. As a child she was a family in need and her grandparents instilled in her to always help anyone she could. Their influence never left her and Yvette dedicated her life to mentoring, coaching, being instrumental in computer donations to low budget schools and churches, starting a free cheer clinic for inner city girls who couldn't afford gymnastic or cheer camps, directing a girls book club and now founding a non profit that brings 9 projects of promise and free food pantry each week.

Stork'd Facebook Page

Stork'd on Instagram

Stork'd YouTube Channel

One would think that being on the birth certificate of your newly born child would be enough to deem you their parent, it is…..if you're a straight couple.

For gay couples, one parent often has to legally adopt their child even if it's that child shares their DNA. This is a process called second parent adoption and is a common but frequently misunderstood process that many gay couples experience when growing their families. Today, I'm talking with Genevieve Jaffe about her and her wife's personal experience with creating their family through reciprocal IVF.

Gena is a lawyer and founder of Connecting Rainbows and she now advocates for others going through this process and provides legal support for the LGBTQA+ community. We talk about the legal complexities for reciprocal IVF, technical things to consider before starting the donor process, and look at the unique perspective of the donor conceived community. This conversation opened my eyes to second parent adoption which I had no clue about - and apparently I am not alone, few couples know it's something they should do to protect their families. I highly encourage you to take a listen!

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [03:42] Genevieve's story of meeting her partner.
• [07:25] Learning the legal implications for reciprocal IVF and navigating the complexities of creating children in the gay community.
• [13:29] Gena's and her partner's fertility journey.
• [19:29] The decision process of choosing a sperm donor and parenting based on things learned from the donor conceived community.
• [27:55] Technical things to consider before starting the donor process and how to include the donor in the part of your narrative.
• [32:57] How donor conception has changed what family means to Gena.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Second parent adoption is a very complicated and frustrating legal thing that some parents have to face due to their sexual orientation. Some states require home tests, look at financials, or interview couples - it can be very invasive.
• There is a misconception that a birth certificate is an administrative document of government laws of the state. But it is not a legal document.
• It's recommended to do hormone testing before you start the donor process. There are at-home tests that you can do to start tracking your cycle, estrogen and progesterone levels. It's best to have as much information as possible before you go to your first appointment.

Resources:

https://instagram.com/genajaffe

https://instagram.com/connectingrainbowsorg

https://connectingrainbows.org/

BIO:

I'm Gena Jaffe (she / her), founder of connecting rainbows.

We connect LGBTQ+ families with attorneys and fertility specialists all over the US and Canada to make it easy to start, expand, and protect your family.

Our experts are all selected for their knowledge, advocacy, and compassion, so you can feel comfortable starting these – sometimes challenging – conversations in a welcoming, judgment-free environment.

We also provide you with a dynamic, ever-growing library of resources, interviews, and blogs to help you understand and navigate these complicated and important topics.

Being a member of the LGBTQ+ community comes with enough hurdles – keeping your family together and safe shouldn't be one of them.

I found an incredible community on Instagram where I was able to connect with other families going to RIVF. I felt like I was part of something sacred. It can be scary going through this process alone – so we have an ever-growing blog featuring real LGBTQ+ families who share their coming out stories, fertility, pregnancy + parenting experiences so you can feel connected as well.