In Season 1 we had a conversation the week of Thanksgiving that we want to share again as we conclude Season 3. Holiday tables can be warm, funny, and deeply desired—and they can also be minefields of subtle jabs, old roles, and unspoken rules. We name the ache beneath nostalgia and share a grounded, faith-based way to move from autopilot to awareness so you can keep your peace without losing yourself.

Using Dan Siegel’s flashlight metaphor, we show how to shift your focus intentionally, notice what sits at the edge of awareness, and choose responses that fit your values. The goal isn’t a flawless holiday; it’s an honest and hopeful one. 

If this conversation helps you breathe a little easier heading into the season, share it with a friend, subscribe for more story-wise episodes, and leave a review to help others find the show. 

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We are forming Story Groups that will begin in January 2026, all the information is on our website StoryMattersCoaching.com or email us with any questions!

What if the shortest path to joy runs straight through your tears? We sit down with Mary Ellen Owen to unpack why uncomforted harm teaches us to banish tenderness, how that “closed book” stance blocks love, and why grief— often done in the presence of a safe other—becomes embodied surrender that restores our capacity for connection. This conversation bridges trauma theory, attachment, and Christian hope, showing how the Spirit turns stony, stubborn hearts into tender, responsive ones.

We name the defenses that once protected but now imprison, and we explore the “banished feminine” as the lost capacities of openness, need, and comfort that every person carries. You’ll hear practical ways to begin: change your posture to signal intention, seek a wise story-hearer, notice unexpected tears in films, songs, poems, or scripture, and cultivate imagination for God as the tear collector who comes close. Along the way, we wrestle with desire and risk—why grieving well actually expands longing for God and people, and how hope invites us to love again even after deep loss.

Threaded through are anchoring scriptures: Ezekiel’s promise of a heart of flesh, Paul’s mirror of being known, and the Revelation vision of home where God dwells with us and wipes every tear. Rather than managing pain by numbing, we practice grieving as those with hope, enlarging our inner home for the Comforter. If you’ve ever wondered how to move from self-protection to real presence, this is a gentle, courageous guide.

If this resonates, share it with someone who needs permission to cry, subscribe for more story-centered conversations, and leave a review with the question you’re sitting with right now.

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We are forming Story Groups that will begin in January 2026, all the information is on our website StoryMattersCoaching.com or email us with any questions!

We sit down with counselor and artist Mary Ellen Owen for a candid, life-giving conversation about why tears matter, how to tell when your present reactions are hooked to old stories, and what it takes to move from self-protection to genuine comfort. Mary Ellen unpacks the crucial difference between acute grief—the wrecking ball moments of death, divorce, and diagnosis—and the quieter, lingering grief we outrun with busyness and control. Her insight is disarming and practical: it is not pain alone that shapes us, but pain plus isolation. Comfort changes everything.

Mary Ellen revisits her own turning point with the “wailing women” of Jeremiah and shows why many of us need to be led into lament. This isn’t wallowing; it’s relational healing. When we risk grief in safe company—human and divine—we discover the Comforter who collects our tears in a bottle and restores our capacity for delight. The result is a lived paradox: holding death and resurrection at once. 

Book reference: “Mourner, Mother, Midwife: Reimagining God’s Delivering Presence in the Old Testament” by L. Juliana M. Claassens

Listen now, share this episode with a friend who needs comfort, and leave a review to help others find the show. Subscribe for part two with Mary Ellen as we go deeper into practices that make lament a path to resilient joy.

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We are forming Story Groups that will begin in January 2026, all the information is on our website StoryMattersCoaching.com or email us with any questions!

A simple question can expose a lifetime of scripts: what do you want? We unpack why that prompt can feel threatening, trivial, or strangely blank, and trace the roots back to childhood moments where wanting was ignored, shamed, or made expensive. From birthday wishes to high-stakes life decisions, we show how many of us learned to kill off desire or tailor it to others’ capacity—and why that strategy leaves us numb.

Together we explore how faith, psychology, and story work meet at the crossroads of desire. We reflect on C.S. Lewis’s image of mud pies versus the holiday at the sea. Drawing from James, the language of epithumia, and Psalm 27’s gaze upon beauty, we challenge the reflex to label all longing as dangerous and instead offer a path to form desire toward God, beauty, and connection. We also talk about arousal in the broad, embodied sense—what it means when the body wakes toward goodness—and why that energy can feel confusing after the purity culture or sexual abuse.

We address longings that can’t be met right now and why grief—not denial or impulsivity—is the way desire grows up. If you’ve ever said “I don’t care” to avoid disappointment, this is your invitation to care again with wisdom, limits, and hope.

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We are forming Story Groups that will begin in January 2026, all the information is on our website StoryMattersCoaching.com or email us with any questions!

We explore how triggers reveal unhealed wounds, and how integrating top‑down truth with bottom‑up practices helps the body and mind trust each other again. A biblical story of David’s overreaction, real‑life examples with horses and rivers, and practical disciplines show how redemption replaces denial.

• what a trigger is and why reactions can be disproportionate
• understanding the brain with easy-to-remember metaphors
• David and Nathan as an example of overreaction
• top‑down approaches to renew the mind
• bottom‑up practices to regulate the nervous system
• how story work integrates sensation, memory, and meaning
• grounding in the present while revisiting the past
• replacing “let it go” with redemptive processing 
• building trust between body sensations and core beliefs

We can be reached through our social media: Story Matters Initiative or our website StoryMattersInitiative.com or send an anonymous text in the Apple podcast app.

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We are forming Story Groups that will begin in January 2026, all the information is on our website StoryMattersCoaching.com or email us with any questions!

The word “triggered” has wandered far from its clinical roots, but we all hear it referenced often. We pull the term back into focus by walking through what actually happens when the brain’s alarm system misfires and how prior wounds teach the amygdala to sprint while the prefrontal “watchtower” is still lacing its shoes. 

We break the triune brain into plain English: the thalamus gathers the data, the amygdala hits the siren, and the cortex adds context. In a regulated system, that update quiets the alarm. In a triggered system, chemicals flood too hard or too fast for logic to land. That’s why a whiff of smoke after a neighborhood wildfire can spiral you, or a partner’s micro‑expression can feel like a cliff edge. We connect these patterns to early attachment imprinting and name the hidden role of shame in keeping mind and body at odds. From there, we offer a practical path forward: top‑down tools and bottom‑up approaches (from both Scripture and discoveries made through Psychology) that help the system return more quickly to safety and calm.

We pull from the works of Bessel Van Der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score" and Dr. Dan Siegel's "Mindsight" and Christine Ann Lawson's "Understanding the Borderline Mother" and the Bible: Romans 7,8 &12, and other scripture references.

We close by previewing "Triggers" Part Two, where we’ll dive deeper into healing: bottom‑up practices, understanding unique trigger profiles, and inviting your stories and questions as we keep learning together. If this conversation helped, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs better language for what they feel, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

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We are forming Story Groups that will begin in January 2026, all the information is on our website StoryMattersCoaching.com or email us with any questions!

We make a clear, biblical case for "story-work" or anything under the umbrella of understanding your narrative in view of God's redemptive story.  We explore why people resist it—from theological objections to fear of feeling—while offering a simple, practical exercise to begin writing memories with courage. We move through four response categories and end with an invitation to set road markers and continue the work.

We look at four audience categories in regards to Story Work: You love it, You like it, You say you I like it but are actually resistant, You hate it.

You may love Story work but have plateaued after a few stories or maybe you have binged podcasts without putting pen to paper. We give a simple assignment that will help you. This gentle doorway accesses implicit memory and could get you moving towards stories that need to be engaged. We talk embodiment, why some of us hide in left‑brain analysis to avoid emotion, and how compassionate curiosity toward your younger self softens contempt and opens space for change. Jeremiah’s invitation to set up road markers becomes our guide: consider the road by which you went so you can recognize old terrain and recognize patterns from our past affecting our current life.

If the church has felt strong on doctrine but weak on tending wounds, this conversation offers a grounded alternative: courageous remembering that leads to truthful naming, care, wise navigation, and a longing for restored peace.

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We are forming Story Groups that will begin in January 2026, all the information is on our website StoryMattersCoaching.com or email us with any questions!

What if the advice you hate—“just sit in it”—isn’t a brush‑off, but a doorway to God’s presence, clarity, and change? We unpack why the phrase so often feels passive or even harmful, especially for those with abandonment wounds, and then rebuild it as a grounded, embodied practice of waiting with God. This isn’t wallowing and it isn’t spiritual bypassing. It’s a stage in healing where we refuse false escapes, tell the truth about our pain, and listen for the next faithful step.

We trace common misuses—encouraging isolation, dampening action, or camping on “death” without “resurrection”—and offer a redemptive alternative: waiting as intimacy. With a vivid Jason Bourne illustration, we show how wise pauses protect and position us. From attachment and containment to the Romans 7–8 shift, we explore how the Holy Spirit meets us in our mortal bodies, bringing regulation, courage, and unexpected hope. You’ll learn to spot your personal escapes, use them as clues to the deeper ache, and practice a simple, repeatable rhythm: pause, feel, name, invite, and act from presence rather than panic.

We also draw on trauma‑informed care, narrative work, and the Psalms to make this practical for real life: walking instead of numbing, journaling instead of spiraling, asking for co‑regulation instead of going it alone. The goal isn’t to get “back to normal” but to move toward flourishing—where you can hold grief and goodness at once and hear God’s cue before you move. If “sit in it” has hurt you before, consider renaming it “wait with God” and let that reframe open space for healing.

If this resonates, share it with a friend who’s in a hard season, subscribe to our emails for more story‑centered care, and leave a review so others can find the show. 

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We are forming Story Groups that will begin in January 2026, all the information is on our website StoryMattersCoaching.com or email us with any questions!

Genuine listening has become a rare art. In this episode, Ryan and Emily Baker break down ten practical strategies that transform ordinary conversations into sacred encounters. Whether one-on-one with a friend or in a small group, deep listening builds safe spaces for people to feel known and loved. In a polarized and sound-bite world, we hope this discussion will inspire and equip people to live an un-hurried life ready to engage topics that matter to their fellow-man. 

From honoring the sacredness of what others share to recognizing our own biases and resistances, each tip builds toward a revolutionary approach to human connection.

We delve into game-changing concepts like the "Three Sigh Rule," which suggests waiting through three natural pauses in conversation before responding – often allowing people to process their own thoughts more completely. We explore how to listen for understanding rather than formulating replies, how to notice nonverbal cues that speak volumes, and how to offer empathy without rushing to solutions.

Perhaps most powerfully, the Bakers remind us that "listening to someone is the most humanizing thing we can do." In a culture that often fragments and isolates us, the simple act of attentive listening affirms another's dignity and worth. It helps people "feel felt," remain calm, and make connections they might not otherwise discover.

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We are forming Story Groups that will begin in January 2026, all the information is on our website StoryMattersCoaching.com or email us with any questions!

What if integrity isn't about moral perfection, but about truthful living? This conversation explores integrity as the alignment between our inner and outer worlds – not a flawless character, but an honest one.

When we experience trauma or painful events, our minds often fragment as a protective mechanism. We compartmentalize, hide away vulnerable parts, and create false narratives to help us survive. Over time, these disconnected pieces create internal inconsistency that destabilize our wellbeing. The invitation is for listeners to examine their stories with radical honesty. Writing or sharing our difficult experiences becomes an act of integrity itself – seeking truth no matter how uncomfortable. Ryan and Emily challenges the common fear that facing painful emotions will break us further, revealing instead that grief actually mends fragmentation by reconnecting us to reality.

In this episode, Ryan and Emily weave together biblical insights about lament with a modern psychological understanding of how our brains process trauma. By facing our stories with integrity – naming what's real without pretending – we welcome back the banished parts of ourselves. This begins the journey of integration that leads to true strength.

What parts of your story might need honest examination? Join this conversation to discover how truthfulness leads to wholeness.

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We are forming Story Groups that will begin in January 2026, all the information is on our website StoryMattersCoaching.com or email us with any questions!