STORY TODAY

It's a MINDWAR!

And that can be a lengthy and mysterious process.

What's the story today?

It's a MINDWAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What part of that is hard to understand?

What's the story today? Nothin' much, how 'bout you?

It's like a Seinfeld! Nothing's happening.

All that, and super math tips, in this...

The instructional textbook known only as RUSH HOUR 4!

What's the story today?

Why build infrastructure when you can pilot all the manichean power of a Rube Goldberg-style government?

Do you have what it takes to be the Cat in the hat? That all depends on whether you're a Pharell Williams or a Bruno Mars and how you would adjudicate the fate of the one ring when it inevitably finds its way into your grubby lil' hand.

Get lost in the dungeon of educating America's youth (but stay out of Jeeve's basement!)

Drink a nighttime soda, beat up a jukebox and join in an immersive plot called government work!

All that and more in this, the breakneck political thriller we call RUSH HOUR 4!

Whats the story today?

There's an election, or something.

How 'bout that?

What's the story today?

Walmart shopathons, milkbar shootouts, maudlin dad-thoughts and inconsistent release schedules!

All that and more in this -- the blackest of fridays -- known colloquially as...RUSH HOUR 4!

What's the story today?

Become friends with your enemies, and celebrate that accomplishment by going to the only place you can get one hundred million dollars worth of movie making paraphernalia without breaking the bank: Walmart!

Make your way to the hub of the community wheel, but don't get killed by a joyriding prostitute or strafed by a biplane on its way to bombard a political ralley, because then you won't get a chance to be cruel to the horrifically mangled veteran who mans the doors to all the world's joyful capitalist bliss!

Or don't. Who cares?!

The world's your lobster!

There's a she-wolf in the closet. Open up and set her free!

Get fucked, or die trying. (Awooooooo.)

What's the story today?

FIlm festival warfare (finally) commences!

New Family Matters! New Seventh Heaven! New world! Same old shit!

Get bombed unexpectedly, and keep your steel handy while you watch your life crumble around you!

Say goodbye to yourself and hello to the audience of lunatics!

You are now the audience. You have become lunatic.

It's the best way to spend $100,000,000,000: the cash-sink known only as...Rush hour 4!

What's the story today?

Chopping up your production staff with a claymore sword; blowing off steam and proving your girlfriend's age at the old saloon; death threats, death traps and death wishes with old friends and new enemies.

Have a sasparilla, bet your son's future, and meet some friendly part-time 'tutes!

And if all else fails, you can always marry Scott Joplin's bones!

All that and more, in this, the rootinest, tootinest town not big enough for the two of us: Rush Hour 4