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by the Brothers Grimm | 1812

Hansel and Gretel are two kids dumped in the woods when food runs out and desperation takes over. Lost and hungry, they stumble across a candy-covered house that looks like a dream but hides a nightmare. Inside waits a witch with a sweet tooth for children and a plan to fatten them up for dinner. 

But Gretel's got other ideas. With some quick thinking and a lot of guts, she flips the script, torches the witch, and they make it out alive, richer, smarter, and ready to go home.

Notable Quotes:

• "What is to become of us? How are we to feed our poor children, when we no longer have anything even for ourselves?"
• "Be quiet, Gretel... I will soon find a way to help us."
• "Nibble, nibble, gnaw, Who is nibbling at my little house?"
• "Hansel, we are saved! The old witch is dead!"
• "Little duck, little duck, dost thou see, Hansel and Gretel are waiting for thee?"

Summary:

• A poor woodcutter and his wife plan to abandon their children, Hansel and Gretel, in the forest due to famine.
• Hansel overhears and twice tries to mark their path: first with pebbles (which works), then with breadcrumbs (which birds eat).
• Lost deeper in the forest, the hungry children find a house made of bread and cakes.
• The house belongs to a wicked witch who lures children to fatten and eat them.
• The witch imprisons Hansel and forces Gretel to cook for him, intending to eat them both.
• Gretel outsmarts the nearly blind witch, tricking her into climbing into the oven, then shoves her in and locks the door.
• Hansel and Gretel escape, find chests of jewels in the witch's house, and carry them.
• A friendly duck helps them cross a large body of water, and they find their way back home.
• They reunite with their father, discovering their stepmother has died, and live happily ever after with their new riches.

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by W.W.Denslow | 1903

Meet Golden Hair, a scrappy orphan with a good heart and a knack for making friends in wild places. One day she wanders into a disaster of a cabin owned by three very surprised bears: Papa, Mamma, and Tiny. 

Instead of running for the hills, she rolls up her sleeves and helps turn their chaos into comfort. What starts as trespassing turns into something better—an unexpected family built on friendship, warmth, and a whole lot of bear hugs.

Notable Quotes:

• "Although little Golden Hair lived far from other children she was never lonesome, for she had many friends and playmates in the wild creatures of the wood."
• "So this is where the jolly bears live! I want to meet them."
• "That soup smells good... but my! what an untidy house! I'll put the place to rights while I am waiting for the bears to come home."
• "The grandmother liked the three bears so well and the bears were so delighted with the comforts of home that they all decided to live together for the general good."

Summary:

• Golden Hair, an orphaned girl, lives with her grandmother and is friends with forest animals.
• She wanders into the forest and finds a cabin belonging to Papa Bear, Mamma Bear, and Tiny Bear.
• Finding the cabin untidy, Golden Hair cleans it and makes up the beds while the bears are out.
• The bears return, welcome Golden Hair, and are delighted by her helpfulness.
• After playing, the bears escort Golden Hair home to her anxious grandmother.
• The bears, enjoying the comforts of the cottage, decide to move in with Golden Hair and her grandmother.
• They divide household chores, live happily together, and become beloved playmates for children from all around.

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by Hans Christian Andersen | 1837

Welcome to the ridiculous saga of a fashion-obsessed Emperor who gets absolutely played by two scam-artist weavers. They promise him a “magical” fabric that only smart or worthy people can see. Spoiler: there is no fabric. 

Still, everyone nods along like it's couture on parade, terrified to admit they see nothing. Ministers fake it. Townsfolk cheer. The Emperor struts around in his birthday suit. Then a kid, too young to care about politics or job security, calls it like it is.

And just like that, the whole illusion unravels.

Notable Quotes:

• "He was so excessively fond of new clothes, that he spent all his money in dress."
• "...the clothes manufactured from which should have the wonderful property of remaining invisible to everyone who was unfit for the office he held, or who was extraordinarily simple in character."
• "What! Is it possible that I am a simpleton? I have never thought so myself; and no one must know it now if I am so."
• "How splendid his Majesty looks in his new clothes, and how well they fit!"
• "But the Emperor has nothing at all on!"

Summary:

• An Emperor obsessed with clothes hires two rogues claiming to weave a magical fabric invisible to fools or those unfit for their positions.
• Court officials and the Emperor himself pretend to see the magnificent cloth, fearing they will be exposed as simpletons or unfit for office.
• The impostors "dress" the Emperor in his invisible new clothes for a grand procession.
• Everyone in the city praises the invisible garments, also fearing to admit they see nothing.
• A small child, speaking innocently, finally exclaims that the Emperor is wearing nothing at all.
• The truth then spreads, exposing the Emperor's vanity and the collective pretense of his court and subjects.

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by Frederick Warne & Co. | 1904

Three little pigs head out to make their way in the world. One builds with straw, another with sticks, and the last one with bricks. The Big Bad Wolf shows up ready to blow their plans to pieces. 

The first two pigs learn the hard way that shortcuts don’t hold up under pressure. But the third pig? He’s got patience, brains, and a house that doesn’t flinch. The wolf huffs, puffs, and fails, over and over, until things end in flames and fried ego. Turns out planning ahead beats blowing hot air.

Notable Quotes:

• "Little Pig, little Pig, let me come in."
• "No, no, by the hair of my chinny chin chin."
• "Then I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!"
• "Ready! I have been and come back again, and got a nice pot-full for dinner."
• "Hah! I frightened you, did I? I had been to the Fair and bought a butter churn, and when I saw you I got into it, and rolled down the hill."

Summary:

• An old Sow sends her three little pigs to seek their fortune.
• The first pig builds a house of straw, which the Wolf easily blows down and eats him.
• The second pig builds a house of furze, which the Wolf also blows down and eats him.
• The third pig builds a strong house of bricks, which the Wolf cannot blow down.
• The clever third pig outsmarts the Wolf multiple times by getting up early for turnips and apples.
• The pig also frightens the Wolf by rolling down a hill in a butter churn from the Fair.
• Finally, the smart pig tricks the Wolf into falling into a pot of boiling water when he attempts to come down the chimney, and eats him for supper.

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by Charles Perrault | 1889

Get ready to dive into the beautifully messed-up tale of Cinderella, a kind soul stuck under the thumb of her nightmare stepmom and two goblins in wigs. 

Just when it looks like scrubbing floors is her forever plan, a little magic flips the script. Rags to ballgown, pumpkin to limo, and one night to make it count. But when midnight hits, reality checks back in hard. 

All she leaves behind is a glass slipper and a Prince with trust issues and no idea how shoes work.

Notable Quotes:

• "But she bore all her troubles with patience... she grew more lovely in face and figure every year."
• "Cinderella," said the Fairy, "I am your godmother... you shall go to the grand ball tonight, but you must do just as I bid you."
• "...giving her a caution to leave the ball before the clock struck twelve."
• "On her arrival, her beauty struck everybody with wonder."
• "To her alarm she heard the clock strike twelve."
• "...a royal herald proclaimed that the King's son would marry her whose foot the glass slipper should be found exactly to fit."

Summary:

• A kind girl endures hardship under a cruel stepfamily.
• Her Fairy Godmother magically transforms her for a royal ball, with a strict midnight deadline.
• She captivates the Prince but flees at midnight, losing a glass slipper.
• The Prince searches for the slipper's owner.
• The slipper miraculously fits Cinderella, revealing her true identity and leading to her marriage.

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Welcome to Storytime with Kray, where public domain meets public opinion—and everything is read in a voice so smooth it could sell overpriced whiskey or convince a goose to pay rent.

This episode is just a quick hello, a little intro to what this podcast is all about. No fancy sound effects, no dramatic reenactments—just me, some classic stories, and the kind of voice that makes even a wicked witch sound oddly comforting.

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