We promised to keep you little shits safe and that’s exactly what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna sit on the bench and review this episode!

Like a monster from an unknown dimension that is so ancient it doesn’t even know it’s true home, let’s take over this episode

Like our Shirley Temple hick sister from Indiana, let’s tuck this episode in real tight.

While it’s damp (not wet, not dry) let’s hit this episode with four puffs of the Farrah Fawcett spray.

We did not come all this way to tell you about the bear in the Harrington kid’s back yard…

Like a single cell bacterium instinctively responding to danger, let’s deploy our defense mechanism and talk about this episode.

Like Baldo the clown let’s put our fat, white glove on the shoulder of this episode and offer it a balloon.

Join us or we’re gonna eat all the candy and we’re gonna get fat! It's very unhealthy to leave us alone with this episode.

All the way from sunny California, the latest passenger on our curiosity voyage is Stranger Things 2!

Like a Thesselhyrda before us, let’s fireball this son of a bitch.