Strategic Possibilities

This is a great interview with an expert who taught communications and public speaking at a college level for many years. In this lesson Kathleen Roy shares with us communications and social skills tactics that can help you:

- Be more confident in professional and casual personal meetings

- Adapt to different unfamiliar situations

- and recognize areas where we may need to improve our communications

This was a very special opportunity to do my very first podcast interview with my good friend and amazing comedienne and improv comedy performer Marian Yesufu.

In this interview, Marian shares with us her tips on:

- How she manages to organize so many wonderful events

- What wonderful ideas keep her motivated

- and how to turn everyday mundane ideas into something that could be entertaining.

With a very special "rap" up.

Somewhere in Little Rock, Arkansas, in the Clinton Library, rests the plaque below.

This article examines a theory on management that proposes that applying the right metrics to measure a manager’s performance can also help assess influence, and even help guide those managers who struggle with “soft skills”

At the individual contributor level, employees are measured on their activity or production. For example, companies track the number of emails employees send out, how many leads they generate, how many customer service calls they make, how many tires an assembly line puts out in an hour, or other metrics that may be relevant to a role. This process ideally results in more productivity, efficiency, or sales leads. 

Meanwhile, managers may evaluate KPI's (key performance indicators) as defined as some composite result with value added information. In their roles, instead of monitoring just the numerical metric such as producing 50 screws in one hour, they might be measuring the number of screws produced per hour without defect.

These are great business methods for constant improvement, but what do these managers do while they're waiting for employees to push out those 50 screws? Do they sit by idly, or in meetings, until they have the days’ results to determine what to do with them, pressing the stereotype that managers don't do very much of anything? Maybe some managers might get away with that, but effective managers will be more engaged with employees, and that is exactly what we're looking to measure. 

In this era of technological change, and big data, the principle on the plaque that stood out most to me was:

"Results you can measure are the only results that matter."

Many questions ran through my mind when I read that line. "What can't you measure?" "What about less tangible concepts like kindness, empathy, and active listening?" There is much talk about "Emotional Intelligence," but it seems to be an intangible, somewhat subjective set of traits. The rabbit hole goes deep, but let's fast forward a few weeks later to a conversation with an organizational leader at work.

As I spoke with the leader, they mentioned to me that their job is to influence teams to perform. The memory of this plaque suddenly popped into my head, and I asked "interesting you say that (then I told the story of the plaque), how exactly do you measure influence?" They replied that it was related to how much we as individuals achieve.

There is truth in that because that is what managers and great leaders do, they help others and the business live to their fullest potential. But I was interested in numbers. Not as a challenge to the leader, but moreso out of my own curiosity. I wanted to come up with a measurable aspect of this leader’s performance that could prove they were influential. It was difficult to answer at the time.

Let's first define "influence" from dictionary.com as "the action or process of producing effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of another or others." We often sit in awe, at those who are able to command an audience, and move them towards some common goal. The question now is; how does a manager go about influencing their team?

Chances are it's not accomplished by hiding away in some corner of the office e-mailing. The great leaders are arguably more involved with their teams, handling the complexity of emotions, bad days, career aspirations, financial concerns, and more.

Let us use a few examples.

In order to begin creating "metrics" for managers to practice influence, we must first explicitly define certain concepts that may be influential. We can take one of Daniel Goleman's thoughts on Emotional Intelligence to begin: Social Skill.

How do we measure social skill? What if we measured the number of times a leader smiled during meetings? Could this be translated into a happier team? While salespeople are not explicitly measured by their smiles, there are many sales teams that put mirrors in front of their sales

Here is a simple idea to help you become more focused, action-oriented, and more likely to achieve your goals. There is an obstacle that some of us tend to create for ourselves without even recognizing it. You don’t always recognize it, and it is so simple, yet so difficult at the same time.

We might be unconsciously limiting ourselves time and time again.

And this self-created obstacle can cause us to lose focus on what is important, become distracted, and even cause us to bring about the things we wish to avoid.

Chances are you’ve heard about it before, and I’m going to share it again along with some methods to help you can change the way you think effectively. It is one thing to “hear” why something is affecting us, but it is another to know how to shift our mindset.

You can read ahead, but you will miss something incredibly important because it isn’t the idea that is going to change your life or the way you go about your day. It is your own personal belief, and in order for some people to believe things, they must understand it in greater depth.

The idea I am about to share is a concept you have probably heard about over and over again on television, from personal development experts, in books and articles, and more, yet you still might have chosen to ignore the concept. And you still might unless something compels you to recognize the importance of that particular concept. I won’t keep trying to sell you on the idea anymore. There are plenty of books such as “The Secret” and Joe Vitale’s work on the Law of Attraction that do a magnificent job of helping you understand the value of the idea I am about to share with you.

Are you ready for the idea that could positively affect your life?

It is simple, and it is this: Focus your energies on things you WANT in your life.

You could expand that to say “focus your energies on the things you want in your life, not on the things you DO NOT want.”

It is so simple yet it can be very difficult to implement because we tend to focus on what we DO NOT want as a reflex.

If we live in a densely populated area we might say:

“I do not want to get stuck in traffic,” or “I hope I do not see a rat today” or “I do not want to deal with a rude barista, driver, or customer service representative today.”

If we are building a business we might say:

“I do not want to hear about that idea anymore,” or “I do not want to work with that person anymore,” or “I do not want the economy to make a drastic shift over the next three quarters.”

It becomes so easy to try and “avoid” the things that we do not want, that we get distracted from going for the things we do want.

Which brings us back to the question of:

Are you the type of person who works harder to avoid pain than to gain pleasure? Or phrased another way, are you a person who puts more effort to avoid losing or are you a person who puts more effort into winning?

That is a magical formula to get what it is you want into your life. By now, you might have a few objections to this idea. When you first hear this concept of focusing on what you want, you could have negative thoughts such as:

“Not another person who is going to tell me that things will start happening as soon as I start visualizing the things I want.”

Or

“I ‘want money’ but money has not fallen into anyone’s lap just by thinking about it. And these are the same people saying that I have to give something of value to get something of value in return, so HAHA! The logic on this concept is wrong!”

Or

“I want to meet the man/woman of my dreams who is way out of my league, and they would never date me.”

Or

“Not working with a person is what I want! How do you explain that?”

Or in business:

“I forecast some business obstacles, and I do not want them to happen, so should I just not think about them?”

These are ineffective ways of thinking and here's why.

It has been known for quite a while that the human brain is not effective at multi-tasking. In fact, science has shown that “true multitasking”

As social media grows, personal privacy continues to grow as a concern, and it seems Europe has been more protective of privacy through actions such as implementing GDPR, right to be forgotten, and consumer protection laws on digital purchases. In the U.S. it seems the response is simply “adjust your privacy settings,” and sometimes I am reminded by the platform to do so regularly. To make matters worse, it seems there are data breaches at the top companies that are required to protect our information.

There is still so much to do and learn about protecting our information online. And on the other hand, we all can choose specifically what we want others to see, or not see, although it is sometimes easy to let certain privacy settings slip. While lawmakers and technology companies work out those issues, there is another area of concern with relation to privacy to address in this article.

The knowledge that advertisers can reach us by understanding where we travel and live in person and explore on the internet is quite a concern to some. Whether companies have developed technologies to understand our behaviors which benefits them by helping them make more money is not the question. The technology is already upon us.

The question now is whether the highly targeted advertising is good or bad, and I say it is good because it helps us get what we want. I argue that we see advertising because more often than not, at some level, the product, video, newsletter, or content on the ad appeals to us at some level. And these algorithms are getting more sophisticated.

Now obviously, not EVERY SINGLE ad we see is going to be perfect for us. And some people get mad just from seeing an advertisement. But I overall, through a combination of all the information we choose to share on the technologies we have become reliant on, advertising algorithms help us get what we want.

If you aren’t savvy on technology algorithms or digital advertising methods, I will explain it very briefly here. Algorithms used on social media or Amazon or Netflix are essentially “equations” or “systems” that help determine what you will see on your feeds. There are other uses for algorithms, but that is the gist of it. A physical example would be the process of determining where to buy billboard space to have the maximum impact for a specific product.

The second part of this is the digital advertiser's job. The platform already has an “underlying” technology, but it comes to the job of the advertiser to dig down even further to get the right product in front of the right person eyes. While the algorithm helps in delivering by bringing everything together, the advertiser must know who exactly needs to see their product by evaluating whether their best audience is a male or female, or by age group, or location. People living in the middle of Downtown Manhattan probably have less of a need for a new tractor than someone living in a rural town known for growing the best lettuce.

Great, so now we understand why we see what we see online. It is not just “the latest” news anymore. It is content, products, or services that are relevant to us. And when it comes to advertising, there is someone whose job it is to get us to see what it is they are selling as we scroll through our daily feeds.

And here is the beauty of it all. Even though some of us might be concerned about our privacy, or despise advertisers because it feels intrusive, there is a very positive side here.

And that is: the good advertisers, the companies who have tremendous brands and reputations at stake, the entrepreneurs who are working hard to get their products or services noticed so they can make their place in history, they want you to see a product that is useful to you!

Maybe the product is a new training system because you are a human resources manager, or maybe a new pair of basketball shoes because your child’s birthday who plays basketball might be coming up. Now I am not saying that all algorithms and

The Media & Entertainment industry often goes hand in hand with media channels being owned and operated by the same companies that produce major influential television shows and movies. After attending dozens of seminars involving conversations about the industry with people who have been in the game for decades, there is a question that gets asked surprisingly often, and it usually goes something like:

“How important is social media” or “should I care about social media?”

And the most surprising thing to me is this question comes from people who are in the media & entertainment industry (often at different levels). I’d personally like to understand where this question comes from a bit better. And perhaps the questioner might just be phrasing the question wrong, or not digging down to figure out the answer to the question they really want to know deep down. Examples I can think of include: “how much time should I invest into social media,” or “I can barely figure out how to connect to WiFi, how can I possibly master social media?”

I compare this question of whether social media is important to those in the media and entertainment industry, to asking if a new way of extracting oil that is less harmful to the environment is useful to an oil company. Or whether new and innovative online education platforms (some of which are free) are important to the advancement of education in our society.

Instead of sharing my opinion or knowledge on whether social media should or should not be used, I came up with a very specific archetype of a person who does not need to bother with social media.

And of course, there are many archetypes of people who do not need to bother with social media because after all, we have reached where we are today as a society after thousands of many millennia without social media as it is today. There are billions of people around the world who are getting around without social media just fine. So here is just one archetype example of a type of person who does not even need to bother with social media, and then I will explain why.

An incredibly wealthy person in a very wealthy family, who may or may not take an active part in the family business, who can contact just about any important person they need to do business with. This person could have a team of people managing their social media or have plenty of employees who work for them. This person is also very comfortable in their current position, and could likely be very comfortable in the future. Also, they might have projects that they might want to keep under wraps such as those developing pharmaceutical products or government contracts.

Why such a specific person?

I know family members, friends, managers, and plenty of successful executives who do not use social media. The big timers pop up on the news occasionally. Examples like those might perfectly justify the idea that people can do great without social media. And what about all the small local businesses and mom and pop shops that still thrive after decades without social media? Surely those are prime examples that social media isn’t useful for everyone.

I understand this justification. There are many people who are very comfortable where they are, and small businesses that are doing just fine without hopping on the social media bandwagon. There are also some highly successful business leaders, and even entertainment professionals who might not use social media for reasons such as the team they pay around them is already the masters of managing their public personas.

And even for those successful entertainers who do not use social media, know that there are random people who are creating those social media profiles for them even without their permissions. That is not necessarily a reason anyone should use social media, but it does explain the level of professional achievement that one might need to attain before deciding they don’t need it.

It isn’t too difficult to find the houses and businesses of

Personal Development Master Tony Robbins speaks in one of his seminars about the idea that in the Olympics, the top 3 athletes in every sport go on to win global recognition, endorsements, amazing trophies and more. And then he asks the question, so what does #4 get? “What does the 4th fastest person IN THE WORLD get?”

In a loud booming frightening but fun voice, he responds with “NOTHING!” “Fortunately,” Robbins continues, “the world is not an Olympic sporting event, and everyone who was in the room had the potential to succeed.

(You can check out some of his great programs here if you wish.)

This article looks at that concept a bit more in depth.

Let’s start this with a fun perception exercise, and I’ll ask you to be as creative with it as you can. Don’t just state the obvious with these upcoming questions. Yes, the “obvious answers” will undoubtedly pop into your head, but I ask you to look beyond that. And the purpose of this exercise is to show to you how differently we all perceive the world around us.

Even though most of us probably recognize that people all see things differently, I am going to share how understanding these perceptions can be of benefit to your professional or personal life, your business or your social relationships.

Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash

Let’s use an example to get started:

If I ask you to imagine or look at a cup, what do you see? I am not going to give you ideas just yet, because as soon as I state them the “answers -neither right nor wrong-“ will seem apparent.

Now put yourself into the mind of an artist. I mean really take an extra effort to imagine yourself as someone with an artistic flair with a passion for creative work. You don’t have to physically or mentally become them (in case you are overthinking this exercise). Just imagine. Has anything changed about the way you see the cup?

What if you imagine looking at the cup from the perspective of a businessperson whose primary business is marketing and sales of dining wares.

Does your perception of the cup change now?

Maybe it does. Maybe your perception does not change at all when you work hard to step into someone else’s shoes. And maybe you are waiting for me to get to the point.

Here are a few of my ideas, hopefully, you came up with plenty of your own so that I do not interfere with your creativity.

Here’s what someone might think of when you first see a cup — a container for your coffee. It is made of glass (or ceramic). It might have an interesting design, or it might be plain. It might be only good for water.

Extending this further, an artist might see a canvas upon which to design, and a businessperson might come up with a way to improve upon this product or sell it better.

An athlete might not even think a cup to contain liquids, but instead, a cup used to protect themselves first.

During the holidays, one person might see a cup as a wonderful gift idea, while another might think “they already have tons of fancy cups and mugs, I need to think of something else.”

Now let’s look at a few other scenarios.

When you hear the name of the company “General Electric” what do you think of?

When you see a Starbucks Coffee Shop, what do you think about? Does it make you feel anything?

When you see your beloved pet, do they evoke the same emotions in you as your pet might to a random person?

Now imagine yourself as someone very different from yourself in career, opinion, or even level of achievement. How might they answer those questions above?

I won’t go on to share more examples of “what the answers could be” because that is not the point of this exercise. I know you as the reader are creative enough to come up with all the different ways different people could answer those questions.

That was the first step, to recognize that all types of people can see things differently, and there are so many possibilities even for something as simple as a cup. And the purpose here is not to overcomplicate how we interact with the world aroun

Personal success can come in many forms depending on the person. Some people can live a slower paced life and be completely happy with just an opportunity to go fishing once a week. Other’s may need more to include faster cars, faster phones, bigger television sets, and a lot of money. The truth is, everyone has a different destination, whereupon reaching it, they feel happy, or that they have succeeded in some way. Some journeys are more challenging and ambitious than others, and that is ok.

There is no end-all-be-all book, franchise, idea, or guru that fits every scenario, but after studying countless books and courses, here are some of the fundamentals. The fundamentals are explained in a metaphorical way related to our physical world. There are also book recommendations included that tie together all the fundamentals in a way where anyone reading this can pick a specific area of their life to work on.

The Land

A metaphor for the foundation of everything we do. Having studied hundreds worth of material, your personal development, beliefs, and mental states are the foundation of what you need to succeed in any endeavor. Without understanding your personal development and what you need to grow, without managing your personal beliefs, and without keeping your mental states right, you will have a very difficult time ever being successful.

The acronyms NLP and NAC stand for Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Neuro-Associate Conditioning. These technologies were developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder (NLP), and Tony Robbins (NAC), respectively. Those technologies were designed to get to the core of how humans experience the world and ultimately live fulfilling lives. There are many more technologies, and out of the many books I have read, the works of Richard Bandler and Tony Robbins will help you start to develop those core foundations.

You can read all the other materials about great achievement, inventing, making money, creating wealth, finance, marketing or sales, and more, but without the deep insight provided by those two and a few others, you may not reach your fullest potential.

The Sun

A metaphor for the amazing energy that keeps us warm and happy. This section is where your attitude comes in, and PMA stands for Positive Mental Attitude, a term coined by the late W. Clement Stone. This is more than just positive thinking or the power of positivity. Attitude is what will help everything developed on your land to grow and prosper. Having a Positive Mental Attitude will help you keep everything together.

It is debatable that Positive Mental Attitude could be considered the land. However, not everyone manages their personal beliefs or even wants personal development. Some may be “born into success,” or find success in other ways that might not last long such as through crime, but not have a positive mental attitude. To build long-lasting fulfillment, having a Positive Mental Attitude will help to multiply your personal development.

The sun will determine how you approach your day, whether you see everything as an obstacle or a learning experience. It will influence whether you see everything as gloomy or great. It has the power to help you warm those around you or cause others to walk away in shivers. For your attitude to work at its’ fullest potential, you must have your land in order. Fortunately, you have the tools; you just need to learn how to manage them.

Fantastic reading to develop your attitude goes to the pioneer of PMA: W. Clement Stone who partnered with Think and Grow Rich author Napoleon Hill during their lifetime as business associates. All the task-oriented and creative ideas in the world won’t even come into existence if you don’t believe in them. That leads us to…

Rain and Water

A metaphor for the next foundational element of personal success. The sun, rain, and water go together. They help create life and allow it to thrive. By managing your thoughts and the things you tell yourself on a daily b