‘Stronger Together’ Well-Being for Well-Working

“It is not when we meditate that we feel the benefits, it’s because we meditate.” An exploration of three practices that provide deep and long-lasting support for us, building our well-being, self-compassion, self-awareness and resilience.

In this episode we explore mindfulness together with:

1)    The art of breathing

2)    How it is to journal

3)    The practice of gratitude

THE KEY POINTS WE COVER…

·       How the self-care tool of mindfulness wraps around the practices of breathing, journaling and gratitude and helps us to be present and nurture self-awareness

·       The importance of experimenting with different practices at different times, using what feels more accessible in that moment

·       Understanding how mindful practices can be added to existing habits (e.g., exercise) so that they become embedded into our daily lives 

·       Recognising the instant calming benefits of using breathing techniques like the  ‘Humming breath’ (1 deep inhale followed by a longer exhale whilst humming, repeated 3 times) to reduce anxiety by activating our vagus nerve

·       Understanding how taking a deep inhale activates the sympathetic nervous system and then taking a longer exhale activates the parasympathetic nervous system, relaxing the body

·       Recognising the impact and ease of using deep breathing techniques during the day to remain present and grounded or before important meetings or presenting to others

·       How computer science professor and digital minimalist Cal Newport talks about the importance of focussing on the breath to create moments of solitude to maintain a healthy brain

·       The importance of journaling to release thoughts, feelings and emotions. Journaling also helps to resolve blockages, provides a sense of perspective and facilitates self-coaching by tapping into our inner wisdom.

·       Understanding there are different types of journaling including a) free form journaling – putting pen to paper in an unstructured way without judgement, releasing a stream of consciousness b) bullet journaling c) gratitude journaling – a page to write down whatever we are grateful for in any aspect of our life

·       Recognising how a gratitude practice can positively impact our mindset either at the end or the beginning of the day. Especially useful during challenging times and helps us feel safe, present and anchored.

·       Understanding there are different gratitude practices including a) a gratitude list e.g., a list of things I’m grateful for today, b) gratitude journaling c) Elizabeth Gilbert’s gratitude galaxy – draw a circle, divide into 6 sections of your life (family, friends, work, community, health, spirituality) and filling each section with all the things you are grateful for until your words spill off the page…

SOME REFERENCES…

·       The Science of Meditation, by Daniel Goleman & Richard J. Davidson

·       The Way of Mindfulness, by John Teasdale, Mark Williams and Zindel Segal

·       Headspace Mindfulness App https://www.headspace.com/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw9_mDBhCGARIsAN3PaFMuj8EX4eI8mDXW_Zlp5-gOkxCvpRQv8bpzoyJVL6Adzta5AEHBKe8aAuacEALw_wcB

·       Cal Newport on Digital Minimalism: Why Focus is the New Superpower 

How we see ourselves influences how other see us. In this episode we’ll explore authenticity - and the iceberg effect of what appears above and below the surface of how we interact with others, and how we perceive ourselves…

THE KEY POINTS WE COVER…

·       Understanding that a number of things can influence how we see ourselves and it can be complex

·       How as social animals we are highly attuned to matching the behaviours of others using mirror neurons. This begins when we are babies when we mirror and mimic the behaviours of our caregivers

·       How the iceberg analogy helps us to develop our self-awareness of how what’s beneath the surface, namely our beliefs, values, thoughts and feelings can drive our outward behaviours including our actions, speech, appearance, gestures and stance

·       How authenticity is living with integrity, confidence and honest communication 

·       Recognising that when we’re really authentic, there’s a congruent match between what’s above and below the surface of the iceberg

·       The importance of living and working authenticity and the positive impact it has on our wellbeing

·       Recognising the fine line between modifying behaviours to ‘fit in’ vs incongruence (e.g., Margaret Thatcher deliberately spoke in a lower tone so that more men would listen to her)

·       Understanding the importance of working with our values, beliefs, thoughts, feelings to positively change and nurture our self-perception (including limiting beliefs, inner critic, imposter syndrome)

·       How Louise Hay’s ‘Mirror Work’ can be used to develop greater self-compassion and positively improve our self-perception

·       How social psychologist, author and TED speaker Amy Cuddy talks about the impact of using behaviour and body language to positively affect the way we feel e.g., ‘fake it till you make it’ and using ‘the power pose.’ 

·       Recognising that our behaviour can affect our feelings AND our feelings can affect behaviour – it works both ways

·       How personal affirmations, positive self-talk and visualisation can be used to improve our self-perception

SOME REFERENCES…

·       Presence – Bringing your boldest self to our biggest challenges, by Amy Cuddy

·       https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_may_shape_who_you_are?language=en

·       Mirror Work, by Louise Hay

·       Brene Brown

Podcast 5 – “Empathy matters”

Empathy is the ability to understand other people’s feelings and emotions. It’s a core strength that can be nurtured and enables us to support others (and ourselves) during more challenging times.

During this podcast we explore key themes that help us develop this important life and leadership skill: 

1.     The difference between sympathy and empathy

2.     The importance of feeling how it is to stand in other people’s shoes

3.     How to create and maintain clear boundaries (that don’t become barriers)

THE KEY POINTS WE COVER…

·       Empathy is defined as the ability to understand other people’s perspective on a situation and recognise what others are feeling

·       Whereas sympathy is defined as a feeling of concern for someone ‘feeling sorry for’ and doesn’t involve a shared perspective or emotions

·       Dr Brené Brown suggests “Empathy fuels connection. Sympathy drives disconnection” and sees there are 4 steps; 1) putting yourself in other people’s shoes 2) staying out of judgement and listening 3) recognising emotion in another person that you have maybe felt before 4) communicating that you can recognise that emotion

·       Recognising that empathy helps to resolve conflict, build trust, improve interpersonal relationships and can be learned

·       Understanding the importance of being present when actively and empathetically listening to others 

·       Recognising the importance of self-awareness to ensure our personal values and beliefs do not interfere with our ability to listen empathetically

·       Understanding that we do not have to agree with the other person’s point of view but be able to cognitively understand what they may be thinking or feeling and communicate this

·       Recognising the importance of resisting the urge to fix someone else’s problem but rather encourage them to take responsibility and take action 

·       Influential business psychologist Daniel Goleman believes empathy is one of the 5 key components of Emotional Intelligence and a key leadership skill (in addition to self-awareness, self-regulation, self-motivation and social skills)

·       How successful female leaders like Jacinda Arden (NZ Prime Minister) have been recognised for her decisive, empathetic and compassionate leadership during COVID

·       How Neuroscientist Simon Baron-Cohen has explored the spectrum of empathy through measurement of brain activity and has developed an ‘Empathy Quotient Questionnaire’

·       Understanding the importance of managing healthy boundaries, especially  if you’re highly empathetic – any strength in overdrive can become a weakness

SOME REFERENCES…

·       Zero degrees of Empathy, by Simon Baron-Cohen

·       Empathy Quotient test (EQ) https://psychology-tools.com/test/empathy-quotient 

·       Emotional Intelligence, By Daniel Goleman

·       The Empath’s Survival Guide, by Judith Orloff

Sometimes it’s the little habits that can help…or hinder us. An exploration of how we work through the medium of list-making; recognising there is no right or wrong approach. To Do vs Ta Dah!

During this podcast we explore key themes that help develop this valuable life skill: 

1.     How we can find ourselves wearing our behaviours like badges of honour – including the ones that don’t necessarily serve us well

2.     The burden of always having to be in control

3.     Some thoughts to reflect on with your own list-making habits and what it may reveal

THE KEY POINTS WE COVER…

·       How bringing our attention to our ‘list’ habits and behaviours help us see what’s serving us and what may be ruling us

·       Recognising when lists can be incredibly useful and understanding how we use them may reveal when something is in overdrive

·       The research suggests (Dr David Cohen) humans like lists because it; dampens anxiety, provides valuable structure, provides a plan to stick to and provides evidence of what has been achieved during a day, week...

·       Understanding that lists can also be a source of stress or procrastination or feel inhibiting for some

·       How being addicted to lists could be masking some inner turmoil 

·       The importance of self-reflection to identify sources of stress (e.g., trust, guilt, avoidance, perfectionism, control, skills, support, overwhelm) so that we can explore options and identify actions to help us move forward and support our well-being

·       How lists can be used to align tasks with energy levels or reward strategies for motivation

·       Recognising when our inner beliefs e.g.  ‘I must’ I should’ maybe putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves 

·       The importance of creatively experimenting with different list-making tools and techniques that support your individual style (handwritten, spreadsheets, mind maps, images, colours, calendar)

·       Understanding how effectively managing task boundaries supports our well-being

·       How writing things down  can provides a fulfilling sense of achievement – a Ta Dah list!

SOME REFERENCES…

·       The Guardian, Dr David Cohen – ‘The psychology of the to-do list – why your brain loves ordered tasks’ May 10 2017 https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/may/10/the-psychology-of-the-to-do-list-why-your-brain-loves-ordered-tasks

·       Harvard Business Review - ‘Your To-Do List Is, in Fact, Too Long’ August 11, 2020 https://hbr.org/2020/08/your-to-do-list-is-in-fact-too-long

·       Atomic Habits - James Clear

·       When Choice is Demotivating: Can One Desire Too Much of a Good Thing? Sheena S. Iyengar Columbia University Mark R. Lepper Stanford University

·       https://faculty.washington.edu/jdb/345/345%20Articles/Iyengar%20%26%20Lepper%20(2000).pdf

·       Journal of Personality and Social Psychology Consider It Done! Plan Making Can Eliminate the Cognitive Effects of Unfulfilled Goals E. J. Masicampo and Roy F. Baumeister Online First Publication, June 20, 2011. doi: 10.1037/a0024192

·       Trello – list making App

·       Gabor Mate - In the Realm

Sometimes it’s the little habits that can help…or hinder us. An exploration of how we work through the medium of list-making; recognising there is no right or wrong approach. To Do vs Ta Dah!

During this podcast we explore key themes that help develop this valuable life skill: 

1.     How we can find ourselves wearing our behaviours like badges of honour – including the ones that don’t necessarily serve us well

2.     The burden of always having to be in control

3.     Some thoughts to reflect on with your own list-making habits and what it may reveal

THE KEY POINTS WE COVER…

·       How bringing our attention to our ‘list’ habits and behaviours help us see what’s serving us and what may be ruling us

·       Recognising when lists can be incredibly useful and understanding how we use them may reveal when something is in overdrive

·       The research suggests (Dr David Cohen) humans like lists because it; dampens anxiety, provides valuable structure, provides a plan to stick to and provides evidence of what has been achieved during a day, week...

·       Understanding that lists can also be a source of stress or procrastination or feel inhibiting for some

·       How being addicted to lists could be masking some inner turmoil 

·       The importance of self-reflection to identify sources of stress (e.g., trust, guilt, avoidance, perfectionism, control, skills, support, overwhelm) so that we can explore options and identify actions to help us move forward and support our well-being

·       How lists can be used to align tasks with energy levels or reward strategies for motivation

·       Recognising when our inner beliefs e.g.  ‘I must’ I should’ maybe putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves 

·       The importance of creatively experimenting with different list-making tools and techniques that support your individual style (handwritten, spreadsheets, mind maps, images, colours, calendar)

·       Understanding how effectively managing task boundaries supports our well-being

·       How writing things down  can provides a fulfilling sense of achievement – a Ta Dah list!

SOME REFERENCES…

·       The Guardian, Dr David Cohen – ‘The psychology of the to-do list – why your brain loves ordered tasks’ May 10 2017 https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/may/10/the-psychology-of-the-to-do-list-why-your-brain-loves-ordered-tasks

·       Harvard Business Review - ‘Your To-Do List Is, in Fact, Too Long’ August 11, 2020 https://hbr.org/2020/08/your-to-do-list-is-in-fact-too-long

·       Atomic Habits - James Clear

·       When Choice is Demotivating: Can One Desire Too Much of a Good Thing? Sheena S. Iyengar Columbia University Mark R. Lepper Stanford University

·       https://faculty.washington.edu/jdb/345/345%20Articles/Iyengar%20%26%20Lepper%20(2000).pdf

·       Journal of Personality and Social Psychology Consider It Done! Plan Making Can Eliminate the Cognitive Effects of Unfulfilled Goals E. J. Masicampo and Roy F. Baumeister Online First Publication, June 20, 2011. doi: 10.1037/a0024192

·       Trello – list making App

·       Gabor Mate - In the Realm

International Women’s Day Podcast 2 – “Busting taboos”


When we reflected on important topics to cover, as part of Team ITG’s recognition of International Women’s Day, we originally considered an episode on menopause, it’s an area of specialism for our coaches and we believe it warrants more attention – both in and outside of the workplace. IWD this year is all about CHALLENGE, and we saw that as an invitation to explore a topic that certainly in the past – and for some may still at times – has been considered taboo. However, the team at ITG rightly reflected that this taboo-busting conversation needs to expand out, to support ALL women across ALL life stages. 

Hosted by Henny with special guests, Rebekah Brown and Sarah Stead, we cover menopause, endometriosis and periods, as well as touching on the tender topics of miscarriage and IVF – all from the perspective of working women. These are big subjects and we’re discussing them in the hope that it helps smooth the way for other conversations. The more we talk, the more we normalise these subjects & the easier it is to keep talking – and to be HEARD.

THE KEY POINTS WE COVER…

1 in 10 women have endometriosis

Menopause is still not included in the sex education of the national curriculum, leading to many women having no idea of what expect, or where to get support.

It is often excluded from private medical cover.

Women often feel that they can’t talk about what they’re experiencing at work, and it can result in limiting the work they feel comfortable doing because of the impact of their symptoms.

The importance of seeking the right quality of medical support AND exploring other avenues.

There is a lack of awareness of the impact of the experiences such as endometriosis, menopause, IVF, miscarriage and periods at work.

Some organisations are doing AMAZING work, BUT it feels like there’s still a challenge in how we create space for people to be heard at work, so these conversations can become more open.

Our wellbeing is critical for good mental health. We can all be part of the process of opening up the conversation at work or with friends / colleagues to support each other.

SOME REFERENCES…

https://www.endometriosis-uk.org/ 

menopausesupport.co.uk

@thepositivemenopause (Instagram) or https://www.facebook.com/groups/thepositivemenopause

https://mpowder.store/

https://www.facebook.com/FertilityNetworkUK

International Women’s Day Podcast 2 – “Busting taboos”


When we reflected on important topics to cover, as part of Team ITG’s recognition of International Women’s Day, we originally considered an episode on menopause, it’s an area of specialism for our coaches and we believe it warrants more attention – both in and outside of the workplace. IWD this year is all about CHALLENGE, and we saw that as an invitation to explore a topic that certainly in the past – and for some may still at times – has been considered taboo. However, the team at ITG rightly reflected that this taboo-busting conversation needs to expand out, to support ALL women across ALL life stages. 

Hosted by Henny with special guests, Rebekah Brown and Sarah Stead, we cover menopause, endometriosis and periods, as well as touching on the tender topics of miscarriage and IVF – all from the perspective of working women. These are big subjects and we’re discussing them in the hope that it helps smooth the way for other conversations. The more we talk, the more we normalise these subjects & the easier it is to keep talking – and to be HEARD.

THE KEY POINTS WE COVER…

1 in 10 women have endometriosis

Menopause is still not included in the sex education of the national curriculum, leading to many women having no idea of what expect, or where to get support.

It is often excluded from private medical cover.

Women often feel that they can’t talk about what they’re experiencing at work, and it can result in limiting the work they feel comfortable doing because of the impact of their symptoms.

The importance of seeking the right quality of medical support AND exploring other avenues.

There is a lack of awareness of the impact of the experiences such as endometriosis, menopause, IVF, miscarriage and periods at work.

Some organisations are doing AMAZING work, BUT it feels like there’s still a challenge in how we create space for people to be heard at work, so these conversations can become more open.

Our wellbeing is critical for good mental health. We can all be part of the process of opening up the conversation at work or with friends / colleagues to support each other.

SOME REFERENCES…

https://www.endometriosis-uk.org/ 

menopausesupport.co.uk

@thepositivemenopause (Instagram) or https://www.facebook.com/groups/thepositivemenopause

https://mpowder.store/

https://www.facebook.com/FertilityNetworkUK

Listening to what people are really saying improves our relationships with others both at work and at home. Deep listening is a skill we can all benefit from developing, especially during challenging times. But what is ‘active listening’ and how can this help others?

During this podcast we explore key themes that help develop this valuable life skill: 

1.     How the importance of how self-awareness helps us to listen to others

1. How to pay attention, use body language and compassionate feedback
2. How to defer judgement and respond respectfully 

THE KEY POINTS WE COVER…

·       The research suggests typically we only ‘hear’ 25-50% of any conversation!

·       Defining active listening as ‘a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying, but the complete message being communicated’

·       How deep listening helps to avoid misunderstandings, reduce conflict and saves us time

·       Understanding how active listening can impact our ability to influence, persuade and negotiate with others

·       Recognising the importance of not being distracted or interrupted to stay fully present

·       The importance of listening with your whole body and noticing what we see, hear, feel, sense and being alert to incongruence

·       Recognising that active listening makes family, friends, colleagues and clients feel truly valued and recognised

·       Understanding how paraphrasing and reflecting back compassionately can signal deep listening and stops us making assumptions

·       Recognising the importance of self-awareness to regulate emotions and ensure we remain open minded and non-judgemental 

·       How being comfortable with silence and not interrupting can provide people with valuable and empowering ‘time to think’ 

·       The importance of listening with a mindful and respectful ‘I’m OK, you’re OK’ attitude to ensure people are fully heard 

SOME REFERENCES…

The Listening Space – A New Path to Personal Discovery, by Tamsin Hartley

Active Listening, by Carl R. Rogers and Richard E. Farson

Presence, by Patsy Rodenbury

Games People Play, by Eric Berne

Time To Think, by Nancy Kline

Listening to what people are really saying improves our relationships with others both at work and at home. Deep listening is a skill we can all benefit from developing, especially during challenging times. But what is ‘active listening’ and how can this help others?

During this podcast we explore key themes that help develop this valuable life skill: 

1.     How the importance of how self-awareness helps us to listen to others

1. How to pay attention, use body language and compassionate feedback
2. How to defer judgement and respond respectfully 

THE KEY POINTS WE COVER…

·       The research suggests typically we only ‘hear’ 25-50% of any conversation!

·       Defining active listening as ‘a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying, but the complete message being communicated’

·       How deep listening helps to avoid misunderstandings, reduce conflict and saves us time

·       Understanding how active listening can impact our ability to influence, persuade and negotiate with others

·       Recognising the importance of not being distracted or interrupted to stay fully present

·       The importance of listening with your whole body and noticing what we see, hear, feel, sense and being alert to incongruence

·       Recognising that active listening makes family, friends, colleagues and clients feel truly valued and recognised

·       Understanding how paraphrasing and reflecting back compassionately can signal deep listening and stops us making assumptions

·       Recognising the importance of self-awareness to regulate emotions and ensure we remain open minded and non-judgemental 

·       How being comfortable with silence and not interrupting can provide people with valuable and empowering ‘time to think’ 

·       The importance of listening with a mindful and respectful ‘I’m OK, you’re OK’ attitude to ensure people are fully heard 

SOME REFERENCES…

The Listening Space – A New Path to Personal Discovery, by Tamsin Hartley

Active Listening, by Carl R. Rogers and Richard E. Farson

Presence, by Patsy Rodenbury

Games People Play, by Eric Berne

Time To Think, by Nancy Kline

International Women’s Day Podcast 1 – “Developing a growth mindset”

We know from research that women often face limiting beliefs; self-confidence tends to be lower in women than men. We’ll explore how to develop a growth mind-set, so we understand our true value at work and the potential of our career aspirations. This will build on the neuroscience and studies of growth vs fixed mind-sets.

We’ll be exploring key themes that help us move from a fixed to a growth mindset:

1. How our early experiences in life can influence our thinking and beliefs
2. How our brain works like a muscle and with effort gets smarter and stronger
3. How the importantance of self- belief helps us fulfil our true potential  

THE KEY POINTS WE COVER…

·       Understanding how our conditioning can influence our mindset

·       How men and women can differ in their approach to applying for new roles 

·       Dr Carol Dweck’s ground-breaking research and how the power of our mindset can influence achievement and success

·       The neuroscience to support the malleability of the brain and how we can develop our intelligence, character and ability

·       The difference between an emotionally rigid fixed mindset and an emotionally agile growth mindset

·       How accepting challenges and obstacles are a natural part of personal growth

·       Recognising the importance of sustained effort to develop new skills and competencies

·       How we can adopt a fixed mindset to some things and a growth mindset to other things

·       What impact COVID has had on our mindset

·       How feeling anxious about a new challenge is a normal part of the change process

·       The importance of managing self-limiting beliefs, leveraging strengths, rationalising fears and seeking support to overcome fear

·       Recognising the growth potential of female talent for organisations, community and society

SOME REFERENCES…

Mindset – Changing the way you think to fulfil your potential by Dr Carol S. Dweck

Draganski., B., Gaser, C., Busch, V., Schuierer, G., Bogdahn, U., & May, A (2004) Neuroplasticity: changes in grey matter induced by training. Nature, 427 (6972), 311-312

Eric Berne - Life Positions

Mans Search for Meaning - Viktor Frankl