Struggle Well School

Do you love to storm out when you’re fighting with your spouse? Maybe get a good door slam in and draw things out a bit? Conflict happens. Especially with those partners we love so much and that’s exactly what we’re talking about today with The Peppers.

Gerard Brown and Jessie Artigue launched the now popular ‘Marriage is Funny’ podcast just two days after a serious discussion about divorce. Four years later, they credit the health of their connection to a podcast community that developed in response to the radical vulnerability they bring to their listeners each week. They refuse to claim the title of “RELATIONSHIP EXPERTS” because they continue to figure things out just like everybody else. Residing in sunny Long Beach, CA, Gerard and Jessie believe that talking things out and tight bear hugs fix (almost) anything, have committed to what they call ‘Great Love,’ and strive to find the humor in every mess. 

As a special gift, Jessie and Gerard are sharing their free video series about the three “marriage myths” that nearly ruined their relationship with MSW listeners at meetthepeppers.com/momstrugglingwell!

• how Jessie and Gerard’s struggling marriage lead them to start their podcast

• how we can grow in relationships through conflict

• having conflicts well

• better communication by changing the language around your internal story

• reframing marital myths

• grieving unmet expectations

• advice for making friends as a couple

• supporting a partner with an anxiety disorder

Brene Brown: The Call to Courage Three “Marriage Myths” video series MarriageHelp.org

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We solved it all this week. How do you plan for a day out and about without breaking the bank to feed your crew on the way home? Solved. What to do when your friends are shaming you for living paycheck to paycheck? Solved! Is meal planning non-existent in your home and you think it’s breaking the bank? SOLVED! Listeners not only wrote with their problems, they told us what makes them feel like winners at saving and we shared all of their tips with you.

P.S. USB ports are going away and Weight Watchers changed their name. We aren’t happy about it either. Enjoy saving WELL!

• an update on Em’s decision to get bangs and how 40 is going so far

• the beginning of Rebecky’s WW journey (and all the things that are messing up her routine)

• ideas for last-minute meals that don’t break the bank

• differentiating want vs. need

• solving your meal prep probs

• saving when you live paycheck to paycheck

• tips from listeners on what’s been saving them money

Diet Bet Dave Ramsey YNAB Mo’ Money Podcast ChooseFI Her Money Amazon warehouse Your Money or Your Life

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If you've been encouraged, share this episode with a friend.  The struggle is real.  We might as well do this together! Do you love Mom Struggling Well? Please leave a review here!

Are you a workin’ lady? Maybe you’ll be returning to work in the near future. Maybe you don’t work outside of the home but some friends that you love do. This week I wanted to share a conversation that I had with the women over on the Mom to Mom Podcast. We talk about tips for working moms and also I share a very raw description of what it looks like in the Thomas house now that I’m back to work. Spoiler alert: It’s not magazine perfect.

Kate Battistelli, September McCarthy & Jamie Erickson are three generations of moms who have experienced nearly every season of motherhood. They don’t have all the answers, but you can be sure that they’ll always point you to the One who does.

• learning to pivot when the thing you thought would work isn’t yielding the desired results

• accepting help in order to better balance your life

• learning and prioritizing self-care

• why Emily stopped homeschooling and has no regrets

• tips for helping manage your home when you work full-time

• finding space for time with the Lord in the midst of a busy schedule

• the power of in-person community

• alleviating mom guilt

• encouraging words for working moms

website | Kate Battistelli | September McCarthy

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Are you a saver or a spender? Do you have a joint bank account or are they separate? Oh, and do you still tuck in the front of your shirt or is that over now? This week we are talking finances and saving well. Emily brought some really simple saving tips and Katie sends out a siren call for large thongs. We establish that money can be difficult and Em stumbled upon some helpful sermons to ponder this month as we think about our finances. Please send your finance problems to [email protected] for Rebecky and Emily to solve later on this month. Biyeee!

• Katie the saver and Emily the spender

• joint vs. separate bank accounts

• our personal struggles with saving and what’s been working for us

• simple saving tips from taping reminders to your credit cards to swapping clothes with a friend (no underwear, please)

• the importance of stewarding money well

• the connection between loving money and loving people

• what’s killing us softly and what’s giving us life

Mint America Saves Stewardship sermon Mo Money, Mo Problems sermon Down Dog app

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What should you do when you feel yourself losing your cool? How do you know if you’ve experienced trauma? My guest this week is as wise as the day is long and gives us practical tips to help us stay in the moment, honor the pace of our healing, and work our patience like a muscle. We are talking: trauma, shame and the price we pay living in a society that values overachieving. If you don’t already know Aundi, please change that now!

Aundi Kolber is a licensed professional counselor (MA, LPC), an author, and a speaker living in Castle Rock, Colorado. She has received additional training in her specialization of trauma- and body-centered therapies and is passionate about the integration of faith and psychology. She has written for Relevant, CT Women, and (in)courage. As a survivor of trauma, Aundi brings hard-won knowledge about the work of change, the power of redemption, and the beauty of experiencing God in our pain. Aundi is happily married to her best friend, Brendan, and is the proud mom of Matia and Jude.

• recognizing trauma and its effects on the body

• the trauma spectrum

• how to notice and interpret to what our bodies are telling us

• the window of tolerance

• the power of experiencing and working through pain

• grounding yourself in the present while addressing the past

• reparenting yourself

Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy

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• what it’s like for Ashley as an only child now raising four kids

• how learning to play with her kids and appreciating the moment has become a spiritual discipline

• what helped Ashley embrace her life as a mom

• letting go of expectations and embracing the things that are important to you

• the emphasis Ashley places on getting to know her kids and how she does that

• letting your overwhelm spill onto your kids

• learning to use your quiet time well

• what inspired Ashley to write her book

• how Ashley’s concept of Jesus different than most because of her experience as a church planter

• four idols of the suburbs

• the power of wanting and waiting

Finding Holy in the SuburbsSara Groves “This Cup”

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If you've been encouraged, share this episode with a friend.  The struggle is real.  We might as well do this together! Do you love Mom Struggling Well? Please leave a review here!

We are right back at it solving your problems this week! We discuss homeschooling vs. public school, ethical dilemmas at the goodwill checkout stand and kids that easily get bent out of shape (that’s right, we’re talking about all of them!). Keep writing in with your problems (and yo, we’ll solve ‘em) at [email protected].

• how much Emily is loving Rebecky’s upcoming book

• Rebecky’s side of the #defamationproclamation prank call

• problem-solving your homeschool vs. public school dilemma

• helping a fun-loving mom with a kid that loves to push her buttons

• allowing kids to choose their own clothes

• an idea to help you finish the year well

A Better Life: Slowing Down to Get Ahead pre-order

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I met Jesus. And meeting Him changed everything.

Sarah Mae is a nationally known speaker, the host of The Complicated Heart Podcast, and co-author of the bestselling book, Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe. She loves traveling all over the country, speaking at conferences and events, encouraging women to walk in freedom. She makes her home in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, with her woodworker husband, three spunky kiddos, and a naughty yellow lab named Memphis.

• Sarah’s complicated family story

• why Sarah decided to include portions of her mother’s journals in her book and what those journals meant to her personally

• defining gaslighting

• Sarah’s abortion story

• how the hope and kindness of God transformed Sarah’s life

• replacing core lies with God’s truth

• learning how to set boundaries

• accepting reality and letting go of expectations

• how doing the work of our own healing impacts legacy of our family

• stopping generations of unhealthy patterns

Annie F. Down’s EnneaSummer The Place We Find Ourselves Surrendering the SecretForgiven and Set FreeHer Choice to Heal: Finding Spiritual and Emotional Peace After AbortionWorthy of Love: A Journey of Hope and Healing After AbortionBetter Help: get 10% off your first month when you visit betterhelp.com/msw

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What does it mean to finish well? This week I break it down real simple-like and give you 4 steps to help you reflect on 2019. But don’t worry! It’s not scary and at the end of this exercise, there will be plenty of encouragement. That’s just my style! There is even a printable so dive in with us in this last month of the year as we discuss finishing well.

• what’s new and noteworthy in our lives including Em’s therapy cat and Katie’s double A semester

• would you rather start every sentence with “hey idiot” or end every sentence with “just kidding”?

• the stories you sent us about how you’re finishing well

• 4 tips for finishing well

• 3 questions to ask yourself daily to access your higher thinking brain

• encouragement from 1 Peter about finishing well

Finish WELL printable

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How can I talk to my kids about sexual abuse? How do I know if what I encountered is abuse? Is my church a safe place for my kids? All of these are important questions and we talk about the hard stuff today with my guest Mary DeMuth. Her best advice for us? Speak up, and persevere anyway.

If you met Mary DeMuth today, her joy might confuse you. Who she has become in light of tragedy is a testimony of Jesus’s ability to transform a broken life. A child of three divorces, a victim of repeated sexual assault at five-years-old, with a father who died when she was ten, Mary wanted to end her life in her teens. In the tenth grade, she heard about Jesus, and she knew she wanted to chase after Him for the rest of her life. Thankfully, He chased her.

Mary is the author of forty books, including her latest: We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis. She has spoken around the world about God’s ability to transform a life and planted a church with her family in southern France.

Her best work? Being a mom to three amazing young adults and the wife of 28 years to Patrick. She makes her home in Dallas alongside her husband, an energetic chocolate lab, and a fuzzy black cat.

• ​Mary’s history of sexual abuse and finding Christ

• how Mary reconciles her faith in a good God who allowed her to be abused

• how Mary’s experiences have affected her parenting

• what lead Mary to focus on the abuse happening in the church

• how Mary is using the stories of other survivors to help fuel her advocacy

• the power of sharing your story

• key factors of a safe church

• how to recognize when you’ve been abused and how to begin to heal

• Mary’s encouragement for survivors about the process of healing

• confronting your abuser

• educating your kids about sex and abuse

• what Christians can do to help bring justice for victims

21 Days of Healing The Child Safeguarding Policy for Churches and MinistriesGod Made All of Me: A Book to Help Children Protect Their BodiesLifeIsBroken.com

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If you've been encouraged, share this episode with a friend.  The struggle is real.  We might as well do this together! Do you love Mom Struggling Well? Please leave a review here!