It's been a wild...ly underwhelming offseason for the Portland Thorns so far in 2026. Between high profile departures, a lack of reinforcements, and a, uh, continuing lack of a head coach, times have been a bit hard for Thorns fans.

And so of course the Stumptown Thorns crew had to convene to process through it all. Sam, Emma, Rocky, and Wilder talked through the storylines of the offseason so far, breaking down what makes concerned, and what makes us, well, even more concerned.

How bad is it? Is there room to hope? Listen on to find out! Come for the emotional processing, stay for our depressingly accurate season slogans.