There were only two cars in the entire state of Ohio. Two. And somehow… they crashed into each other.

That’s not a metaphor. That’s early automotive history. And it only gets weirder from there.

This is Stupiracy - Presented by CARSTAR.

This week on our funny history podcast, we’re diving into early automotive history — when cars looked like farm equipment possessed by ambition and nobody fully understood what was happening.

Before Henry Ford and the Model T, there was the Benz Patent-Motorwagen, built by Carl Benz in 1885. The first real automobile. Not a carriage. Not a horse. A car. And adjusted for modern money? Shockingly affordable. Which feels wrong. The first car should’ve cost “sell your castle” money. Instead, early automotive history opens with a relatively reasonable price tag.

Then America said, “Cool. Let’s make this worse.”

Enter the Horsey Horseless. An actual vehicle with a wooden horse head attached to the front so it wouldn’t scare real horses. The head was hollow. The fuel tank was inside it. Gasoline. In a fake horse skull. This is not satire. This is weird history you didn’t learn in school because no teacher wants to say “gas-powered horse face” out loud.

And then comes 1895. The first car crash in America. In Ohio. With only two cars registered in the entire state. Early automotive history statistically said, “That’s impossible.” Ohio said, “Watch this.” Boom. Tree root. Collision. Awkward silence.

Of course we talk about Henry Ford — assembly line genius, Model T architect, industrial legend. But also: man who regularly pulled over to eat weeds. Dandelions. Milkweed. Pigweed. Shepherd’s purse. He called them “roadside greens,” which sounds artisanal but was really just him grazing near Detroit like a very motivated goat.

We also get into:

• The Henry Ford weeds diet

• The first car crash in America

• The Benz Patent-Motorwagen

• The Horsey Horseless

• Thomas Edison’s final breath preserved in a vial

• In-car toilets from the 1950s

• A fifth wheel designed only for parallel parking

• Chrysler installing record players in dashboards

Because early automotive history wasn’t smooth innovation. It was chaos. It was experimentation. It was “put a toilet in it and see what happens.” It was “maybe the car needs a horse face.” It was “capture Edison’s breath like it’s limited-edition air.”

This is stupid history. This is weird history. This is history you didn’t learn in school because the textbook couldn’t handle the milkweed.

If you like your comedy history podcast informative, slightly unhinged, and confidently explaining nonsense like it’s obvious — welcome to Stupiracy. A podcast about stupid history and weird history - Presented by CARSTAR – your auto body repair experts – locally owned with a nationwide guarantee.

Now do the responsible thing. Follow the show. Leave a five-star review. Not because we’re desperate. Because statistically, if there are only two podcasts in your state and you don’t subscribe to this one… something terrible could happen.

Don’t be Ohio, 1895. WTF history?

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Helen Keller wrote 14 books, met 12 presidents, helped found the ACLU, got surveilled by the FBI, and somehow, according to TikTok commenters with anime avatars, she was also lying about all of it.

Cool. Sure. Totally reasonable.

In this episode of Stupiracy - presented by CARSTAR - Scott Rizzuto and Tim McKernan ask the question that feels illegal to even say out loud: Was Helen Keller a fraud? Not because we believe it — but because the internet absolutely does and is very confident about it. Confident in the way only someone who learned history exclusively through obscure web forums and short-form video can be.

Rizzuto and McKernan break down where this modern conspiracy theory came from, why it keeps popping up in weird history threads and Reddit comments, and how a woman who became the most famous deafblind person in history somehow turned into a punchline meme about airplanes and handwriting. Because yes, apparently the fact that Helen Keller “flew a plane” in 1946 is now considered iron-clad proof that the entire 20th century was lying to us.

So we rewind. Back to Alabama. Back to the mysterious childhood illness. Back to the Miracle Worker water pump moment that everyone remembers but no one actually understands. Then we keep going — past the inspirational poster version of Helen Keller and straight into the stuff you definitely didn’t learn in school. The socialism. The labor activism. The IWW membership. The FBI file. The part where she was a full-on political menace while also being treated like a porcelain doll by history textbooks.

From there, we put on the tinfoil hats and examine the “evidence.”

The books were too well written.

The handwriting was too neat.

The airplane thing. Oh god, the airplane thing.

We explain how Helen Keller actually wrote, how assistive technology worked in the early 1900s, why Anne Sullivan wasn’t some shadowy puppet master running a long con, and how a 20-minute supervised flight turned into the dumbest gotcha in conspiracy history. Along the way, we talk ableism, internet brain rot, and why people seem deeply uncomfortable accepting that disabled people can be brilliant without it being a trick.

This is weird history, stupid history, and a perfect example of history you didn’t learn in school, mostly because your teacher didn’t have time to say, “By the way, someday people on the internet will accuse this woman of being fake.”

So no, Helen Keller was not a fraud. But the conspiracy claiming she was? Absolute hall-of-fame Stupiracy - Presented by CARSTAR – your auto body repair experts – locally owned with a nationwide guarantee.

Now do the obvious thing. Subscribe to the show. Leave a review.

Tell the algorithm you enjoyed listening to two grown adults defend Helen Keller against TikTok detectives. If you don’t, that’s fine, but just know Helen Keller would have hated you, and frankly, we’ll assume you’re part of the conspiracy.

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In this episode of Stupiracy, Scott and Tim delve into the historical financial bubble known as Tulip Mania. Explore how a simple flower bulb caused a massive economic crash in the 17th-century Netherlands. Learn about the cultural significance of tulips, the rise and fall of their prices, and the lasting impact of this financial frenzy on modern economics. This episode uncovers one of the first recorded instances of a market bubble and its surprising parallels to today's financial markets.

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In this episode of Stupiracy, Scott and Tim dive into the enduring conspiracy theory that Elvis Presley, the King of Rock and Roll, is still alive. Explore the official account of Elvis's death, the numerous reported sightings of Elvis after his supposed demise, and the various reasons why people believe he faked his death. From misspelled tombstones to sightings at Burger King, uncover the strange evidence and theories that keep this conspiracy alive.

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Articles and interviews about Elvis sightings and the conspiracy theory.

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In this dark and intriguing episode of Stupiracy, Scott and Tim delve into the gruesome details of the Erfurt Latrine Disaster of 1184. Discover how a meeting of European nobles turned into a horrific tragedy when the floor of a church collapsed, plunging dozens into a cesspit of human waste. Learn about the historical context, the notable victims, and the changes this disaster prompted in medieval sewage systems. This episode uncovers one of the most morbid yet fascinating events in history.

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In this episode of Stupiracy, Scott and Tim dive into one of the wildest conspiracy theories about the British royal family: the claim that Queen Elizabeth II was a cannibal. From bizarre stories about her private freezer to tales of corpse medicine, discover the strange rumors that have swirled around the late queen. Learn about the historical context of these claims and why some people believe that the British royals have a taste for human flesh.

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In this episode of Stupiracy, Scott and Tim explore one of the most bizarre episodes in medieval history: the trial of Pope Formosus' corpse. Discover how this 9th-century pope was exhumed, dressed in papal robes, and put on trial by his successor. Learn about the political intrigue, the strange customs of the time, and the ultimate fate of the cadaver. This episode delves into the strange and dark world of medieval papal politics.

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In this episode of Stupiracy, Scott and Tim dive into the surprising and fascinating history of the middle finger. From its origins in ancient Greece and Rome to its status as a powerful symbol of displeasure today, learn how this simple gesture has evolved over millennia. Discover the cultural significance, historical anecdotes, and unexpected moments in pop culture that have kept this gesture relevant and controversial.

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In this episode of Stupiracy, dive into a curious slice of medieval diplomacy where kings shared more than just their realms—they shared their beds! Join Rizz and Tim as they unpack the tradition of monarchs sleeping together to seal alliances and foster unity. It's history with a twist, exploring how powerful rulers once cuddled up to resolve conflicts!

Show Notes:

Overview: Episode 6 of "Stupiracy" explores a fascinating medieval practice where kings would literally share a bed to symbolize and celebrate peace agreements. This episode digs into the historical context, the personal dynamics involved, and how these actions were perceived then and now.

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In this exhilarating episode of Stupiracy, hosts Rizz and Tim McKernan dive deep into a fringe conspiracy theory that claims—hold onto your hats—Finland doesn't exist! Yes, you heard that right. The nation of saunas, Santa, and Sibelius is supposedly a figment of the global imagination. Strap in as they dissect this wild theory and explore how a whole country could be an elaborate geopolitical sham.

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