Success 2.0

As of this podcast, there are officially 1,123,455 books that claim have found the secret to joy and satisfaction (not true at all – I made this up, but I'm certain it's a big number). Chances are that you, like me and most overachievers, have read a few of these titles hoping to find a simple set of strategies that leads to instant success. We're all searching for our purpose, the meaning of life, and the key to happiness. The "self-improvement" industry (books/videos/seminars/courses/etc.) continues to grow rapidly and shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon. But, what if we already know the secret to a fulfilling life, but we (you, me and most of the people we know) are just choosing to ignore the truth? In today's podcast, I'll explore the idea that the best way to feel happy and content is to donate more of our resources (specifically time and money) to those who are less fortunate. In addition, I'll introduce simple tactics for prioritizing this behavior and making charitable giving a habit.

Many years ago, I served as the chairman of the stewardship (group tasked with asking for money) committee at my church. Shortly after I took the position, I was given a list of our members and what they donated annually. I noticed that there were numerous families who donated very little and yet lived in huge homes, drove expensive cars and went on extravagant vacations. I then looked at my own giving and realized I wasn't significantly more generous than many of these individuals. I wondered if this was the norm throughout the country or if our church was simply less charitable than everyone else. After a little research, I realized that the majority of people in the U.S. give a very small percentage (around 2%) of their annual income to non-profit organizations. In addition, only 25% of Americans volunteer their time. In today's podcast, I look at the giving habits of most Americans and discuss why we struggle to share our resources with those who are less fortunate. In addition, I'll explore how this behavior is affecting our happiness and satisfaction in life.

I assumed we would be able to celebrate the accomplishment for months, if not years. One of my first clients had just hit a "milestone" revenue target that we had been working towards for almost 18 months. It was the type of accomplishment that would transform the business leading to a great bottom line, healthy cash flow and a strong balance sheet. Minutes after we exchanged the obligatory "high-five", the next thing you know, the achievement was fading in my client's rearview mirror and he was on to the next objective. The goal that was once thought to be life changing was now just a number on a piece of paper. As a fellow overachiever, this story is probably all too familiar. It's easy to get caught up in the belief that you will feel successful "as soon as" you make partner, win the award, buy the big house, hit a revenue target, etc. But, as you know by now, this "feeling" rarely lasts very long. In today's podcast, I talk about the struggle to find satisfaction with the classic definition of success. I walk you through my journey to rethink this definition and introduce a completely new way to measure your accomplishments.

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!"

-Stuart Smalley

Positive affirmation is great! In some cases it can even help with those negative thoughts creeping around in your brain. But is that the only tactic that can help you deal with your negative thoughts?

Other strategies that work similarly to positive affirmation are:

• Journaling

• Reading

• Staying busy

All of these strategies do one thing; they fight the negative thoughts. In the last few years I have found that fighting the negative thoughts only masks the unwelcomed ideas and that whatever you resist, persists.

Negative thoughts keep us from becoming the best, content, version of ourselves. This is a very important issue to unravel in order to maximize our happiness in our life.

Do you find yourself living the "what if" lifestyle? Do you go back into the past and regret something? Do you move your mindset into the future and anticipate that something will go bad? Trying to live in the current moment is the best thing you can do when your brain creates these "what ifs".

If you are finding yourself in this "what if" lifestyle and are struggling with negative thoughts, which believe me, we all are, take it from someone who knows. I am someone who has been through it, dealt with it, read a multitude of self help books, sat through therapy and still struggle at times to cope with these thoughts.

Although, I have learned over time two valuable tactics when trying to deal with and not fight these unwanted thoughts:

• You cannot eliminate negative thoughts

• Don't ignore it, recognize the thought then let it go.

Negative thoughts and suffering are a part of life. All we can do is learn about ourselves and realize how each of us can deal with these challenges.

Besides your work week, think about all the other things that take up your schedule. What activities do you take part in? What commitments do you have that suck up all the available time you have- time which could be spent on things you actually care about?

The reality is that if you're a high achiever, you will be tempted to say yes to every opportunity that comes your way. However, being a "Yes Man/Woman" eventually leads you to frustration because you stop doing the things that you actually prioritize. The simple truth is this: there's an enormous difference between your interests and your commitments.

On this episode, we reflect on what those differences are and how you can come to absolve yourself of responsibilities that take away from you achieving what you really want to do!

"To live this life. To live it with wholeness and gratitude and trust. In the pain and the glory. In the mess and the grace. In the sacred and the desperation. This is the stuff of which real superheros are born."

-Jeannette LeBlanc

The chances are that if you find an entrepreneur on the street and ask his or her advice on what is the most important thing to have in order to be successful, chances are this person will return your question with some form of the word "resilience". Whether you're venturing on a tech start-up from your garage, operating a construction business, or work in some form of consulting, the odds are that things won't go smoothly for you-that's where the true entrepreneurs are born.

Resilience or "grit" as it's referred to by some, is the ability to look past the misfortunes and mistakes that come along with building a business. It's the insight to keep moving when life punches you in the chin. It's resilience that keeps someone from giving up on their idea because that person has so much conviction to be successful that absolutely nothing can stop them from reaching their goal. If things start to get tough, and they will, resilience will be the saving grace that moves the company past the dark-age and into success.

When considering the meaning of the word "resilience" and its application to entrepreneurship, I couldn't help but to be blown away by the two examples mentioned in this week's episode.

Oprah Winfrey, by many accounts, is the most powerful woman in show business. She's amassed a fortune worth billions of dollars with countless products mentioning her name. Her influence on pop culture is so large that the media has created a craze called "The Oprah Effect" which basically turns and book, product, or service that she mentions into an immediate best seller. However, things weren't always so glamourous for the television legend. Her journey into stardom was riddled with obstacles and circumstances that would have forced many others to give up had they been in her shoes. In this episode, we deconstruct the journey that led Oprah from a rural town in Mississippi into being one of the most influential women the world has ever seen.

Our second story reflects on another amazingly impressive individual-Rose Blumkin.

While not being a television star or a pop icon, "Mrs. B", as referenced by Warren Buffett, was quite an example of resilience.

Her trip from Minsk, Belarus into America was difficult and ill-timed. Shortly after arriving into America, this 4'11" businesswoman was faced with the harsh realities of The Great Depression. While many would say that having little money, almost no ability to speak English, and living in a broken economy would be cause to hold off with starting a business, Mrs. B saw otherwise.

Both personalities mentioned in today's episode are truly inspiring figures that point out that despite unforgiving circumstances, one can be successful. All that's required is a little bit of resilience.

Show Notes:

What one trait do all entrepreneurs need in order to be successful? [3:20]

Oprah Winfrey- A TV Icon is born [3:45]

Our first personality was born in the 1950's to a teenage mother in rural Mississippi [4:00]

Early experiences in life helped Oprah develop empathy for others [4:40]

"You don't have an ability or personality to be on television" [6:15]

People are Talking with Richard Sheer [8:15]

Learning what she didn't want to do in TV was important in shaping later career choices [8:43]

"The Oprah Winfrey Effect" [10:05]

VIDEO -Rose Blumkin – The Entrepreneur behind "The Nebraska Furniture Mart" [12:15]

"I would put her up against the top graduates and chief executives of Fortune 500" [13:50]

Bribing a Russian guard with a bottle of vodka [14:30]

Rose Blumkin's $5 suit business launches just before The Great Depression [15:00]

The Nebraska Furniture Mart – "Sell cheap and tell the truth" [15:35]

Working 70 hour work weeks into her 90s [17:15]

"I come home to eat and sleep-that's it." [18:20]

Warren Buffett admits it was a mistake to not make her sign a "Non-Compete" [18:45]

Looking at successful people, see that these individuals had the biggest setbacks in most cases [20:00]

Other interesting facts we missed [23:00]

People Mentioned:

Oprah Winfrey

Rose Blumkin

In this episode:

• The importance of putting in time in a relationship
• How in the worst of times, our relationships become our rocks
• The fruitfulness in expressing appreciation for your relationships

Sometimes unexpected events occur, and it feels like the ground is shaking. If the ground beneath us trembles just enough, we fall to our feet. When we are in this state, how are we to be caught, so that we might rise from the ground again?

It is our relationships that catch us like a safety net when we fall. This truth is reflected in Dr. Greg Sipes' wise words, "Life is only about relationships." Sometimes, you won't know the value of your contacts, friends, family and others until tragedy strikes. Before that happens, it's worth giving your appreciation and time into those whom you love. In this podcast, we reflect on our relationships and how important they are in our lives.

Think back to when you were at a major crossroads in your life. Whether you were 22, 30, 45 or so on, you had to decide to pursue one path over another: learning in the field or in the classroom. When I think about my career and how much I've learned over the years, I realize that it's what I learned in the School of Hard Knocks that has been the best classroom I could ever have encountered.

Why? Two things: the utter pain of failure and the utter joy of acquiring a new skill. Failure and skill acquisition are two keys to success. In this discussion, I argue that the best way to achieve both are through the experience you obtain while working.

In this episode:

• A moment where I caught myself moaning/groaning about travel and bitching about weather
• Why marketing is built to make you feel inadequate
• The power of writing a thank you note
• How to craft a thank you note and who to send it to

Other than Amazon, how often is it that you receive something in the mail that isn't marketing, a bill, a newspaper, or some form of advertisement?

In today's age, a gesture as simple as a 'Thank You' is not only a rarity, it's virtually nonexistent. Yet, I continually find that people are elated when they open a hand-written letter that someone took the time to mail. It's so simple that it's amazing people don't do it more.

So, the question is, what can you do with a hand-written note? Here are a few ideas...

1. Lay out a letter to be sent out at the end of the week and make a deadline to send it out to someone
2. Follow up after getting someone's business card
3. Reach out to someone you've not spoken with in awhile
4. Tell a friend why you appreciate them
5. Give a client your gratitude for their business
6. Stay in touch with a relative

PS-Don't EVER use computer generated "hand-written notes"

"Give me a place to stand, and a lever long enough, and I will move the world." –Archimedes

The other day I was scrolling through my Twitter account, and saw this quote. Usually, my instinct is to scoot past these graphics, but in this case I was caught in my tracks.

As someone who could have a graduate degree in wasting money on "self-improvement" products, I feel uniquely qualified to speak on the subject. I could throw out countless examples of books, apps, software programs, seminars, eBook downloads, podcasts, tapes, CDs, videos, conferences, and webinars that ultimately led to a big goose-egg of value.

After this much experience with testing products, I've been able to identify a simple strategy for making your hours more effective. This week, I'll be covering the key to leveraging your time with incredible focus.

Originally, I wanted to use the term productivity but the truth is leverage is the key word to focus on.

"How do I get more done without putting in more hours?"

We'll cover that here today. Enjoy!