In this super short episode I share why I've been quiet these past few months and share the output of my monk-like period of contemplation.  Apart from changing the cover of the podcast (hope you like me sans showgirl wig!!) -  I've decided to bravely go forth into the gig economy, forgoing the safety and security of  a guarunteed monthly paycheck and launch myself into coaching entrepreneurs-ville.  Will she stumble (likely), will she fall (if she stumbles - probably), will she give it a red hot shake (absolutely) and will she eat up the experience like a kid in a cake shop (definitely).

It's an exciting time to be Nathy, and I hope you join me as I make 2023 the best year yet on my dance card!

There's no hiding it - I've been absent for a few months.  Ironically - in the midst of Season 3 - which was dubbed 'The Confidence Season' - I lost my confidence and hid in a cupboard for several weeks.  Occasionally peeking out and looking at the lonely microphone, but just unable to commit myself to speaking out loud and putting it out there.

For those who walk amongst us seeking to grow and develop as people (isn't that everybody?  Apparently not I've recently been informed, so I had to make the distinction), building confidence is part of that human development journey.  But whether you want to become a more confident speaker, a more confident cook, or a more confident lover - there will be times when you stand on the platform with your ticket for the Confidence Train in your hand - and when it pulls into the station - for reasons unknown, you find yourself pocketing the ticket and saying 'not today'.

Anyway, that's been me - boohoo!  Poor little snowflake Nathy isn't sure if what she's doing is good enough to be out here in the podcast playground with all the other impressive pod-people.

The good news is - I picked up Mark Manson's book 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k' https://www.amazon.com.au/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713 and slapped myself round the head with it - particularly the chapter about not being special.  If you haven't read this book, and you're interested in growth - I highly recommend.  Anyway - I'm not that special (according to Mark Manson - although he's never met me, so I still have that ace in the hole), so I can just put out whatever the f**k I like and say whatever the f**k I like and noone will care.  I suddenly feel free.  If you've been struggling with any of the above - my darlings - this episode is for you!  Mwah!!!

We all have a resident 'mean girl' right?  That b***h that lives inside our head and loves to tear us down when we're trying really hard.  Yup - the Inner Critic is a massive confidence crusher!.  In this super speedy bite size episode I share 5 tips to help calm that b***h down!

For further reading on the topic and to explore the 5 elements in greater depth, here is a link to an article written by actual psychologists (so you know I'm not making it all up!!!)

https://positivepsychology.com/self-compassion-5-steps/

Ciao Ciao for now lovelies!  Mwah!! XXX

"Comparison is the thief of joy" - Thanks Theodore Roosevelt - ain't it the truth!  We all know the epidemic of Comparisons on social media, compounded by filters to make you look younger, thinner, more tanned, more taught - but what it really results in, is a massive decline in the agency over our own journeys through this sweet and sometimes challenging life.  By comparing ourselves to others - whether it's looks, jobs, houses, cars, income or lifestyle - we are swimming in other people's lanes.  But not only is comparison the thief of joy, it's also a massive underminer of confidence.

Learn from observing and studying others for sure (to be clear, don't be coming to me if you ever want to get a tennis ball over the net),  but boo'hooing cos you'll never beat Serena Williams at Wimbledon is just asking for trouble if you want to become a better tennis player.  It will set you up to feel hopeless and overwhelmed and never quite good enough.

Comparison is a major Confidence Crusher.  Be aware of when you fall prey to it and and repeat this mantra 'stay in your own f*****g lane'!

Think about how excited you get (Scale of 1 - 10.  10 being 'I'm about to go off like a fire cracker',  and 1 being "I'd rather stick hot needles in my eyes'), when someone suggests you go roller skating, or get up on a dance floor, or speak in front of other people.  Your score will largely be determined by how confident you are in partaking (successfully) in this activity.

If you know you can deliver a roller disco worthy performance, bust out some serious moves, or nail a TED Talk - your score is likely to be high.  If however, you're neither confident nor competent in these areas, not only will you be filled with apprehension, self doubt and perhaps dread, but you are also likely to want to avoid these activities at all costs.

The irony of course is that if you want to develop your confidence in any area of your life, you're going to have to fall on your ass, mess up some steps and fudge your lines in the quest to develop mastery in anything!

But we're human right - and as humans, our default position is to avoid pain and discomfort (and public humiliation and ridicule).  So how can we challenge ourselves to lean into the areas of our lives where our skills are wanting.

In today's episode of Season 3 -the Confidence Season - I share the benefits of increasing your levels of curiosity as a great pathway towards building confidence.

Curious?  Check out the episode.

Todd Kashdan has been researching the power of curiosity in amplifying our fulfillment in life for over 20 years (he's a curious guy!!)  His book is definitely worth a read.

https://www.amazon.com.au/Curious-Discover-Missing-Ingredient-Fulfilling/dp/0061661198

In this episode - I'm exploring one of the things that can actually undermine and crush our confidence - even when we're not looking!  

Be on the lookout for 'Crazy Makers'.  I first read about these people about 25 years ago in a book by Julia Cameron, called "The Artists Way".  https://juliacameronlive.com/the-artists-way/  (get her book or courses here if you're up for more from her).

Julia describes Crazy Makers as "people who thwart the creativity of those they purportedly love".  Heavy s**t right?  And while in her book she focuses on Crazy Makers in the context of the artist's life, let me tell you, Crazy Makers aren't just hanging out in painters and potters studios.  They are literally everywhere and can be anyone... and you don't need to be an artist to be impacted by them.

So today I'm sharing about who these people are, where and why they turn up in our lives, how to spot them, why sometimes we're even drawn to them to our own detriment, and some simple steps to take to short circuit the damage they can do to your confidence.

**Spoiler Alert**

In this bonus episode, Nathy & Megs lift the lid on Tom Cruise's return to the role of Maverick.  Join them in the cockpit as they review the long awaited and highly anticipated Top Gun sequel.  

After a brief sidetrack to wrap up Johnny Depp's recent win over Amber Heard and his celebratory $87 000 Indian dinner, we head out into the danger zone where Tom returns to the role of Maverick and tackles a new team of 'Top' Guns.  Goose has defied genetics and given birth to a Rooster, but we can be assured of the lineage, because he plays the piano whilst wearing a cheap Hawaiian shirt.  There's tension in the air to be sure, but none to match the sexual tension between Tom and Jennifer Connoly as they attempt to look like they still have the hots for each other - after all these years.  There's plenty of shirts off action as the cast returns to the beach, oiled up and playing with not one, but two balls - both of them Tom's - as he reimagines the game of football, as only Tom can.

There is a mission - not sure who it's against, but they're super bad and only Tom and his merry band of freshly squeezed Top Gun recruits can save the day!

Buckle up, grab a martini and settle in for Top Gun Maverick Mayhem!

There are so many quotes and sayings that relate to success right?  'Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration'.  How about 'It always seems impossible, until it's done'.  And then 'A bend in the road isn't the end of the road, unless you fail to make the turn'.  

I could go on - and on.  But all of these quotes (there's one above by Nelson Mandela, and another by Helen Keller) are by people who dug deep and did the uncomfortable thing - in order to get to a better place.

And what does any of that have to do with confidence?  Well at the heart of it all is a commitment to (here's another one) 'just keep showing up'.  

In th isepsiode of the Confidence season, we put another great C-Word under the spotlight - Consistency.  It's a small (cos sometimes the steps ARE small) act of committing to being uncomfortable over and over again in the quest of gaining more confidence. 

You see - and absence of confidence, simply means that fear is present.  Fear is currently taking up valuable real estate where you want Confidence to be.  Many people mistakenly think that once they 'feel more confident' - then they can (or will) take action.  Well I hate to burst your bubble - but it just doesn't work that way.  In fact - i's the other way round.

Consistency is the key.  Showing up time and time again - in the face of discomfort is the best and most assured way of gaining confidence.

Let's talk about why, and how you can do it for yourself!

Welcome to Season 3 lovelies.  They say good things come in 3's (or is it bad things? - never mind).  I'm excited to be back at the microphone with a bonafide 'theme' for Season 3 - and that is 'Confidence'.  

This season we're going to dissect this personality trait and look at it from every possible angle.  Where it comes from.  Why it's important.  Can you have too much of it?  Was she really 'born with it'? The things that make it, shake it and break it.

Each episode throughout the season will explore a different element of Confidence.  Today we kick off with 'Context'.  10 out of 10 people who attend the workshops I run, say they want to 'feel more confident' at the end of the session.  But what does that actually mean?  

So let's start by exploring the fact that somewhere in your life - even if you don't feel it - you already have confidence in spades.  The trick is to find out where.  Once you do - you've already got a head start on this journey!

Yes it's been a long time between drinks, and I thank you lovely listeners who have been waiting patiently for me to get my s**t together and sit back down at the microphone.  

We all know life gets in the way sometimes eh?  Well my life is no exception.  It just barges in and demands s**t of me that quite frankly I could do without having to deal with, but it just needs doing.

I've put my little season hiatus to good work though and have come up with a theme for Season 3.  Another fabulous 'C' Word.  A little less controversial that the previous C word me and Megs got amongst (Season 3 Episode 5 if you missed it - highly recommend) - this season's word is 'Confidence'.  I'm going to put that C word under the microscope and explore it from all angles.  Where it comes from, how tough it is to find it sometimes and how easy it can be to lose it.  We'll look at how to build it, make it and fake it, and what to look out for when others try to crush it.  I've got some great guests lined up who'll share thier own journey's in the quest for it and just generally have a good time!

I'm back and I'm happy about it - I hope you are too!! Mwah! XXX