Sunnybrook Unscripted

Episode Notes 

~The overall goal of parenting is to bring up a biblically and morally responsible child.~  

We all have commons struggle with feeling inadequate in parenting. 

4 PHASES OF PARENTING: 

0-5 years – Discipline phase – gaining control of your children (establishing your parental right to lead) 

• teaching respect, honor, obedience 

• delayed obedience is disobedience 

• don’t’ say something you’re not going to follow through on – otherwise, you’re training them to be disobedient 

• if you get this phase right, every phase after comes easy – if you don’t get control you won’t be able to move to the next phase – you’ll be stuck 

6-12 years – Training phase- teaching the hows and whys of behavior. (Children first learn how to act morally, and then they learn how to think morally) 

• practicing for the game of life- running drills and practices 

• Example: when we go here, here’s how I expect you to behave. If it didn’t go well, follow up on expectations. 

• Includes love for God, exchanging courtesies with others, kindness and consideration for others, serving opportunities, respecting boundaries, etc. (helping them to become more others-centered) 

13-18 years – Coaching phase- they are in the life game, your influence is diminished, but you can coach them in their interactions 

• Make a practice of de-briefing their life situations 

18+ years – Friendship phase – you can be friends with your kids – not before this! They need a parent up until the time they are an adult • Friendship is the goal in your child’s adulthood, not the starting point when they’re kids. 

When you get the discipline and training phases right, your kids will seek you in the coaching and friendship phase. 

 If you’ve been getting it wrong, don’t be discouraged - you can still adjust and get it right.

 Resources: James Dobson’s parenting collection (The New Dare to Discipline, The New Strong-Willed Child, and Parenting Isn't for Cowards), Growing Kids God’s Way by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo 

 Discussion Questions: 

1. What did you learn about parenting from this podcast? 

2. Discuss the phase you are currently in when it comes to your parenting. What challenges have you faced in this phase? 

3. If you struggle in the area of discipline, what steps would be helpful for you to take in order to have better follow through with your kids? 

4. Discuss some areas you might be intentional about when it comes to the training phase.

Episode Notes: 

~The overall goal of parenting is to bring up a biblically and morally responsible child.~ 

•The significance of marriage in parenting is that God has created a family first and foremost in the marriage relationship. A child/children are a welcome part of that family; they are subordinate to the marriage relationship, not the center.

 •Practical advice: prioritize spending the first ten minutes at home connecting with your spouse and modeling that in front of your kids. 

•Child-centered parenting is incredibly dangerous. Revolving your entire world around your child cultivates self-centered/self-absorbed perspectives in your child that will negatively impact them into adulthood. Marriage-centered parenting cultivates greater security in the life of a child. 

•Marital conflict plays a significant role in the life of a child. If an argument starts in front of your kids, ensure that the resolution does as well. 

When conflict happens (whether between spouses or between children), practice: 

•Repentance- I was wrong 

•Forgiveness- will you forgive me 

•Restoration- kiss and make up 

If you’re struggling with keeping conflict out of the line of your kids, get someone to watch them and go get help. (Sunnybrook has marriage mentor couples or a list of professional counselors to help – contact [email protected]) 

Your child can find security in witnessing your own dependence upon God in the midst of struggles with or the absence of a spouse. 

Discussion Questions: 

1. Would you say that you have a marriage-centered or child-centered approach to parenting? How has this podcast impacted your perspective on this subject? 

2. How might you practically invest more in your marital relationship so that your children might experience greater security? 

3. What are your tendencies when it comes to conflict resolution between you and your spouse? How might you model healthy conflict resolution before your kids? 

4. How might you help your kids practice healthy conflict resolution within the home? 

5. In what ways can you practically model dependence upon God in the midst of struggles at home, either between you and your spouse or with your kids?

Episode Notes: 

~The overall goal of parenting is to bring up a biblically and morally responsible child.~ 

Dads play a major role in the life of a child. The ultimate goal of fatherhood is to move to mutual trust and loyalty. 

3 phases: 

•Biological- birth them 

•Provider- provide for them 

•Mutual trust and loyalty- spend quality and quantity time with your kids. This takes effort and sacrifice. 

 The average father only spends 6 minutes per day with their child. It takes much more than this to be a great dad. 

 7 things men can do to be intentional with their kids: 

1. Create a sense of family identity (this is what the _____’s do) 

2. Love your wife – the best thing you can do for you kids is love their mother 

3. Respect your kids’ private world- hold in reverence things they share with you 

4. Keep your promises- be a person of your word and follow through 

5. Give your kids the freedom to fail 

6. Be an encourager 

7. Give physical touch (hug/wrestle with your boys, hug your daughters) 

 Discussion Questions: 

1. What kind of dad did you grow up with? Or without? 

2. Dads, what are some ways you can be deliberate about spending more time with your kids in order to build mutual trust and loyalty? 

3. Discuss each of the 7 things you can do to be intentional with your kids. What are some practical ways to live those out?

Episode Notes: 

Being known as a good parent is the greatest endeavor in life. The overall goal of parenting is to bring up a biblically and morally responsible child. 

Where do you start? 

•Starts with mom and dad being the example: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:4-9 

•“Love the Lord your God” is much more caught than taught, more modeled than mandated. Whatever you expect your child to do, you must live it out. 

Two extremes to avoid: 

•Authoritarian style 

•Permissive parent 

*Parenting doesn’t start with friendship – it progresses there when your children are adults. 

*Kids are different, but always raise your child to a standard, don’t lower a standard to your child. *Give the moral reason why when disciplining your kids. (Ex. – Don’t run into the road – here’s why- you might get hurt. Don’t run in church – you may injure another.) 

*Be intentional! Instruct your child on behavior expectations and why before you get in a situation. 

Discussion Questions: 

1. What was the parenting style of your parents? Up to this point, what has been your parenting style? 

2. What things have you been intentional about in parenting your kids? What things would you like to be more intentional about when it comes to parenting your kids? 

3. Discuss some situations where you might give the moral reason why, when disciplining your kids or when preparing them for an environment they are about to enter. 

4. What things are you intentionally modeling in your life that you’d like your kids to emulate? 

5. What changes might you want to make to be intentional about bringing up a biblically and morally responsible child?

Welcome to the Sunnybrook Unscripted Podcast where we talk real life, answer hard questions, and take a deeper practical look at the topics we talk about a Sunday morning.  In this episode Andre Moubarak sits down with Pastor Jeff to continue his conversation  about Israel and his experiences there as a Palestinian Christian and a tour guide. Check it out. 
 
 For more from Andre please visit - https://www.twinstours.com/

Welcome to the Sunnybrook Unscripted Podcast where we talk real life, answer hard questions, and take a deeper practical look at the topics we talk about a Sunday morning.  In this episode Andre Moubarak sits down with Pastor Jeff to talk about Israel and his experiences there as a Palestinian Christian and a tour guide. Check it out. 

For more from Andre please visit - https://www.twinstours.com/

Welcome to the Sunnybrook Unscripted Podcast where we talk real life, answer hard questions, and take a deeper practical look at the topics we talk about a Sunday morning.  In this episode Lydia Miller, continues the conversation with special guests, Nick and Alexa. Today we talk more about marriage, starting a God honoring relationship, and the fun and challenges of dating. Check it out. 

Welcome to the Sunnybrook Unscripted Podcast where we talk real life, answer hard questions, and take a deeper practical look at the topics we talk about a Sunday morning.  In this episode Lydia Miller, talks with special guests, Nick and Alexa. Today we talk about marriage, starting a God honoring relationship, and the fun and challenges of dating. Check it out. 

Welcome to the Sunnybrook Unscripted Podcast where we talk real life, answer hard questions, and take a deeper practical look at the topics we talk about a Sunday morning.  In this episode not only talk with Pastor Jeff, we have brought in a special guest, his wife Beth. Today we are continuing on in our talk about marriage, unpacking love, relationship, the glory and the disfunction of it all and the power in honoring God despite it all. Check it out. 

Welcome to the Sunnybrook Unscripted Podcast where we talk real life, answer hard questions, and take a deeper practical look at the topics we talk about a Sunday morning.  In this episode not only talk with Pastor Jeff, we have brought in a special guest, his wife Beth. Today we are talking about marriage, unpacking love, relationship, the glory and the disfunction of it all and the power in honoring God despite it all. Check it out.