Support is Sexy

Content note: This episode includes discussion of sexual assault and mental health.

Founder/CEO Jean Ibañez Payne of TI Verbatim Consulting shares how to build humane, people-first cultures—without outsourcing leadership to HR—and her courageous journey as a military sexual trauma survivor choosing healing, daily.

• "Going to work shouldn't suck": why culture starts at the top, not in HR

• What HR can do—and why it can't fix leadership problems alone

• How TIVC blends qualitative interviews + natural-language AI to turn employee feelings into decisions leaders can act on

• Equality vs. equity you won't forget (think: the job is on the 2nd floor—equity is the elevator)

• Layoffs with humanity: transparency, notice, benefits, and reputation

• Jean's story as a military sexual trauma survivor: shame, rock bottom, and choosing life

• Daily practices to reclaim your worth: therapy, medication without stigma, movement, community, and permission to step back

"Culture starts at the top. You can't outsource leadership to HR." "Equality is being qualified for the job on the second floor. Equity is the elevator." "Being perfect is too boring." "I stopped outsourcing my worth—and I chose to live."

Jean Ibañez Payne is the founder & CEO of TI Verbatim Consulting (TIVC), a culture and people-operations firm using AI + human expertise to align leadership strategy with what employees actually feel and experience. She's a Certified Diversity Executive and the author of Reclaim Your Worth (also in Spanish and a children's edition).

• Jean's site: https://reclaimyourworthnow.com

• Book (English): Reclaim Your Worth

• Libro (Español): Recupera tu valor

• TI Verbatim Consulting (TIVC): https://www.tiverbatim.com

• Jean: LinkedIn

• Elayne: LinkedIn

• Listen & share: Send this episode to a leader ready to build a humane workplace.

If you're in immediate danger: Call 911 (U.S.) or your local emergency number.

Sexual assault support (U.S.)

• RAINN – National Sexual Assault Hotline (24/7): 800-656-HOPE (4673) · Chat: https://hotline.rainn.org/online

• DoD Safe Helpline (24/7, military survivors): 877-995-5247 · https://www.safehelpline.org

• NSVRC – National Sexual Violence Resource Center: https://www.nsvrc.org (education + local program finder)

Mental health & crisis (U.S.)

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7): Call or text 988 · Chat: https://988lifeline.org (Veterans: press 1)

• Crisis Text Line (24/7): Text HOME to 741741 · https://www.crisistextline.org

• SAMHSA National Helpline (24/7): 800-662-HELP (4357) · https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

• FindTreatment.gov: https://findtreatment.gov

• NAMI HelpLine (M–F): 800-950-NAMI (6264) · Text HelpLine to 62640 · https://www.nami.org/help

• National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7): 800-799-SAFE (7233) · Text START to 88788 · https://www.thehotline.org

Outside the U.S.

• International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP): Global crisis center directory: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

If this episode was helpful, please share follow, rate, and review—your support helps more listeners find these stories.

In this powerful conversation, Life Coach Jelan Agnew, LCSW shares how ICU-level burnout during 2020 became her wake-up call to design life on purpose. She walks us through the mindset shifts that took her from overachievement and overload to presence, sobriety, and self-permission—ultimately moving to Mexico and reshaping her work from one-to-one therapy into coaching, workshops, and speaking. We unpack her "empty notebook" and baseline frameworks, why perfection is just avoidance in a cute outfit, and how focusing on feelings first (not the resume or the how) opens unexpected doors.

• Baseline > Busyness: How to stop the thousand‑miles‑per‑hour train and rediscover what you actually like, need, and value now.

• Empty Notebook Method: Starting fresh—without old labels—to write the next chapter of your life.

• From Therapy to Coaching: Reframing impact: serving more people through workshops and speaking while protecting your well‑being.

• Feelings First: Why we chase titles/things for the feeling—and how to design from the feeling instead.

• Perfection = Avoidance: Giving yourself permission to be clumsy, new, and vulnerable.

• Sobriety & Mindfulness: Removing substances to find your emotional baseline and practicing presence to notice what truly fits.

• Permission Slips: The power of support (shoutout to therapy) and learning to give permission to yourself.

• Red‑Jeep Phenomenon: Put awareness on what you want and watch the signals appear.

• Why both of us moved to Playa del Carmen—and how geography can catalyze growth

• Jelan's ICU wake‑up call, burnout in 2020, and choosing a different way

• Baseline vs. busy: stopping the train and meeting yourself in the present

• The guilt of leaving a long career—and reframing impact

• Mindfulness, sobriety, and rebuilding identity

• Feeling over formulas: designing for joy, freedom, safety, and community

• Perfection as avoidance; being willing to be "clumsy on purpose"

• Self‑permission and the role of a great therapist in big moves

"I can help people, and it doesn't have to be at the expense of myself." — Jelan Agnew

"Perfection is avoidance." — Jelan Agnew

"You have the option to make a choice before you get sat down." — Jelan Agnew

"Create the version of me that does that." — Jelan Agnew

"The how is none of your business." — Jelan Agnew

Grab an empty notebook (or open Notes) and complete these:

1. I want to feel… (one sentence)

2. Where do I already feel that today? (list 2–3 moments)

3. What micro‑ritual amplifies it this week? (one action—breath, rest, or presence)

Bonus: For the next 7 days, put your awareness on this desire (hello, red‑Jeep effect) and notice what people, ideas, or invitations show up.

• Click here for Jelan's TED Talk (on mental health in the Black community)

• Book: The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron

• Book: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

(We'll add direct links on the episode page.)

• Website: https://www.nalejofselfllc.com/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nalejofself

• Instagram: @elaynefluker

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elaynefluker/
• Website: elaynefluker.com

If this episode resonated, share it with the ambitious friend who needs permission to rest and rise. Rate/review the show to help more women leaders find us.

Episode theme: Self‑care on your terms, scaling with intention, and growing a modern wellness brand without burning out.

Guest: Stephanie Morimoto — CEO & Owner of Asutra; partner with Venus Williams; champion of practical self‑care.

What you'll learn

• What "self‑care on your terms" looks like (micro‑rituals you can actually keep).

• Why Stephanie bought a business she loved—and how she knew she's a 10→100 builder, not a 0→1 founder.

• The pivot from big‑box retail to QVC, Amazon, and a high‑growth DTC engine—and why mass retail is tough without huge ad dollars.

• How a lean in‑house team (~10 people) plus expert agencies can outperform a larger org.

• Why magnesium + capsaicin (in Asutra's Melt Pain Away) can help with aches, recovery, and sleep—and how to use it.

• The power of naps, breathwork, and tiny habits for sustainable performance.

• Building community and two‑way conversation with customers.

Topic highlights (no‑spoiler guide)

• Re‑intro + what's changed since 2020

• Designing life on your terms (Jackson Hole, travel, presence)

• Defining self‑care beyond spa days: five breaths, 15‑minute bedtime shift, power naps

• Stephanie's path: from customer to owner; due diligence and destiny

• Partnering with Venus Williams and the QVC halo effect

• Retail realities: capital, cash flow, and why channels matter

• Lean‑team model: fractional CFO, creative, Amazon specialists

• Tripling DTC sales via story‑driven social ads and better landing pages

• Community, feedback loops, and what's next for Asutra

Resources & mentions

• Asutra — products & community: asutra.com

• Instagram: @asutralife

• Stephanie on LinkedIn/IG: Stephanie Morimoto

• Products discussed: Melt Pain Away (magnesium + capsaicin body butter), Silk Sleep Mask (weighted, lavender + flax), Aromatherapy Mists, Yoga Mat Spray

Try this listener challenge Pick one micro‑ritual and commit for 7 days:

• Take 5 deep breaths between meetings or

• Go to bed 15 minutes earlier or

• Schedule a 20‑minute screen‑free rest/nap block

Then tell me what changed for you—DM on IG @elaynefluker or email.

In this powerful and timely episode, I'm honored to connect with historian JerriAnne Boggis — Executive Director of the Black Heritage Trail of New Hampshire — for a deeply resonant conversation about history, healing, and holding onto the truth.

JerriAnne shares her personal journey from Jamaica to New Hampshire, the legacy of Black women trailblazers, and the 450-year untold story of Black lives in one of America's whitest states. She reminds us that Black history isAmerican history — and once you know the truth, you can't unknow it.

Together, we talk about:

• 🧭 The importance of preserving stories that are often erased

• 📚 The groundbreaking legacy of Harriet Wilson, the first Black woman to publish a novel in English

• 🧠 Why beliefs are harder to change than policies — and how deep-seated bias still shapes resistance to truth

• 🧬 Her organization's powerful Juneteenth program and how descendants of both enslaved people and presidents are reclaiming history together

• 💃🏾 The role of joy, dancing, and family stories in our collective healing

JerriAnne's work is a powerful reminder that preserving and sharing our history isn't just about the past — it's how we shape our future.

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: 📍 Why Black history matters everywhere — even in places you wouldn't expect 📍 How one woman's novel shifted a state's sense of place and belonging 📍 Why cultural erasure is intentional — and how we resist it 📍 The healing power of community, movement, and remembering who we are 📍 How the Black Heritage Trail is using tech, tours, and truth-telling to shift minds and hearts

✨ Listen in to be inspired, grounded, and reminded that we've survived worse. And they're not going to take our joy.

🖤 Visit the Black Heritage Trail of New Hampshire: blackheritagetrailnh.org

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Support is Sexy podcast host Elayne Fluker is an author and ICF-trained Executive Coach for high-performing women who are transitioning to their next level. Her clients have worked for organizations such as Pfizer, Amazon, Expedia, Bain & Company and more. She is creator of Next Level Navigator -- a dynamic 3-month coaching program for women leaders. Elayne is also an author, speaker, and facilitator of leadership development workshops for Fortune 500 companies and organizations. Her LinkedIn Learning courseshave been attended by more than 70,000 students. Click here to get in touch with Elayne.

What an absolute JOY it was to reconnect with my sister-friend and former colleague from our Essence magazine days, the brilliant storyteller and explorer Tara Roberts! 🧡

Tara is someone I've admired for decades—not only for her sharp editorial mind and deep heart, but also for her fearless pursuit of meaningful storytelling. And in this conversation, we dive (pun intended!) into her latest transformational journey—literally and spiritually—as a National Geographic Explorer and author of the gorgeous memoir "Written in the Waters."

Tara takes us behind the scenes of how a visit to the National Museum of African American History and Culture changed everything. What began as a passing curiosity about a photo of Black women in wetsuits turned into a multi-year, purpose-driven adventure uncovering the stories of sunken slave ships and the descendants connected to them.

In this episode, Tara opens up about:

• How following a spark of curiosity led her to scuba diving and uncovering buried Black history

• What it means to say a "heartfelt yes" even when the path is uncertain

• Navigating shame, solitude, and the unconventional path as a woman and an explorer

• Why reclaiming history through storytelling is an act of healing, not just remembrance

This is one of those conversations that will live in your heart. Whether you're questioning what's next or just need permission to follow your own light—Tara's story is a beautiful reminder that your soul already knows the way.

📘 Grab Tara's book: Written in the Waters: A Memoir of History, Home and Belonging — available wherever books are sold.

📲 Connect with Tara on Instagram: @tararoberts_explorer

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Support is Sexy podcast host Elayne Fluker is an ICF-trained Executive Coach for high-performing women who are transitioning to their next level. Her clients have worked for organizations such as Pfizer, Amazon, Expedia, Bain & Company and more. She is creator of Next Level Navigator -- a dynamic 3-month coaching program for women leaders. Elayne is also an author, speaker, and facilitator of leadership development workshops for Fortune 500 companies and organizations. Her LinkedIn Learning courseshave been attended by more than 70,000 students. Click here to get in touch with Elayne.

In this inspiring episode of Support is Sexy, host Elayne Fluker speaks with Gina Diaz — immigration and real estate attorney, entrepreneur, cancer survivor, and advocate for women's empowerment. From being deported twice as a child before finally settling in the U.S., to becoming a single mother at 19, to beating ovarian cancer in her early 30s, Gina's journey is a testament to resilience and fearless reinvention.

She opens up about the emotional toll of her experiences, the strength she found in her faith and family, and the power of choosing gratitude over self-pity. Now one of Chicago's top attorneys and a founder of We Win, an organization that helps women build wealth through real estate, Gina shares how she's using her journey to uplift others.

• The immigrant experience from a child's perspective — and what people misunderstand about it

• How Gina overcame generational beliefs to pursue law and defy expectations

• What surviving cancer taught her about fear, faith, and making peace with herself

• Why helping other women build wealth through real estate is her legacy

• How gratitude and mindset helped her rebuild after personal and professional setbacks

Gina Diaz is a resilient immigration and real estate attorney who opened her own firm, Diaz Case Law, more than 10 years ago. A passionate advocate for immigrants and women of color, Gina is also a real estate investor and founding member of We Win, LLC, which supports women in building wealth through property ownership. Her story of persistence, purpose, and power is proof that fear can be your greatest teacher — if you listen.

📱 Text or WhatsApp: +1 (773) 318-0216 📸 Instagram: @abogadagginadiaz

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Support is Sexy podcast host Elayne Fluker is an ICF-trained Executive Coach for high-performing women who are transitioning to their next level. Her clients have worked for organizations such as Pfizer, Amazon, Expedia, Bain & Company and more. She is creator of Next Level Navigator -- a dynamic 3-month coaching program for women leaders. Elayne is also an author, speaker, and facilitator of leadership development workshops for Fortune 500 companies and organizations. Her LinkedIn Learning courseshave been attended by more than 62,000 students. Click here to get in touch with Elayne.

On this episode of the Support is Sexy podcast, I speak to my brilliant friend Dr. Zoe Shaw, author of the upcoming book—Stronger in the Difficult Places—about what she calls Complex Shame. Dr. Zoe defines Complex Shame as "a hidden emotional wound many women carry from childhood or relational trauma."

Dr. Zoe Shaw is a licensed psychotherapist, motivational speaker, podcast host of Stronger In The Difficult Places, relationship coach and fitness fanatic. She is a mom to 5, and is passionate about helping women overcome complex shame and find strength in difficult relationships, including that sometimes difficult relationship with themselves.

And let me tell you, we go deep into my own Complex Shame on this episode, which I didn't even realize I was wrestling with!

You'll learn:

• What is Complex Shame?
• How might it impact you?
• How do you realize it?
• Where does it come from?
• How do you heal it?
• How do you forgive yourself?

Learn more about Dr. Zoe Shaw at www.drzoeshaw.com. PRE-ORDER Dr. Zoe's upcoming book Stronger in the Difficult Places on Amazon.

Support is Sexy podcast host Elayne Fluker is an ICF-trained Executive Coach for high-performing women who are transitioning to their next level. Her clients have worked for organizations such as Pfizer, Amazon, Expedia, Bain & Company and more. She is creator of Next Level Navigator -- a dynamic 3-month coaching program for women leaders. Elayne is also an author, speaker, and facilitator of leadership development workshops for Fortune 500 companies and organizations. Her LinkedIn Learning courses have been attended by more than 65,000 students. Click here to get in touch with Elayne.

As an executive coach, speaker and facilitator of leadership development workshops, I lean into my specialty around Soft Skills -- which are non-technical skills such as empathy, emotional intelligence, adaptability and resilience -- and teach on the topic in diffferent forums.

One place I teach is as an instructor is on LinkedIn, where I have over 78,000 followers and where one of my courses on "How to Deal with a Difficult Boss" has surged to over 15,000 students in the past couple of weeks. I have lots of theories on why that surge is happening (long story short: folks are stressed, frustrated, under pressure and on edge), but one thing I know for sure, this an area where people need support.

And no matter if you're climbing the corporate ladder, navigating leadership in a startup, or transitioning into executive roles — at some point, chances are high that you, too, will encounter a boss who… let's just say, challenges your peace and professionalism.

So on this episode of the Support is Sexy podcast, I go deeper on insights from that course "How to Deal with a Difficult Boss" and share 7 powerful soft skills that will help you not only survive a difficult boss — but lead yourself through the experience with confidence, clarity and, of course, support.

To connect with me on LinkedIn: go to https://www.linkedin.com/in/elaynefluker/

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Support is Sexy podcast host Elayne Fluker is an ICF-trained Executive Coach for high-performing women who are transitioning to their next level. Her clients have worked for organizations such as Pfizer, Amazon, Expedia, Bain & Company and more. She is creator of Next Level Navigator -- a dynamic 3-month coaching program for women leaders. Elayne is also an author, speaker, and facilitator of leadership development workshops for Fortune 500 companies and organizations. Her LinkedIn Learning courses have been attended by more than 62,000 students. Click here to get in touch with Elayne.

Anna Radulovski is author of Chief in Tech: How Women Are Breaking the Silicon Ceiling and Leading with Impact and she is the Founder and CEO of WomenTech Network — a global community with 150,000 members across 179 countries. WomenTech Network provides mentorship, career development, and networking opportunities connecting women with industry leaders at top companies like Amazon, Microsoft, and IBM.

Anna also hosts host the Women in Tech Global Conference and the Chief in Tech Summit, which is coming up on May 20, 2025. The summit brings together thousands of executives and professionals to discuss leadership, innovation, and diversity in tech.

(GET 15% OFF THE Chief in Tech Summit / Global Conference tickets or annual membership WITH THE CODE: SUPPORTISSEXY at https://shop.womentech.net/ )

On this episode of the Support is Sexy podcast, Anna and I dive deep into some of the smart and simple ways for you to establish authentic connections — whether you're connecting for a new job or an investor for your business.

From LinkedIn, to raising your visibility and influence, to power networking through shared values and so much more, there are many different avenues for building your support network.

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Support is Sexy podcast host Elayne Fluker is an ICF-trained Executive Coach for high-performing women who are transitioning to their next level. Her clients have worked for organizations such as Pfizer, Amazon, Expedia, Bain & Company and more. She is creator of Next Level Navigator -- a dynamic 3-month coaching program for women leaders. Elayne is also an author, speaker, and facilitator of leadership development workshops for Fortune 500 companies and organizations. Her LinkedIn Learning courses on soft skills, emotional intelligence and finding the right executive coach have been attended by more than 45,000 students. Click here to get in touch with Elayne.

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So Now What?

Are you a woman who has recently been laid off? Are you worried about being laid off? If so, you are not alone. Layoff anxiety is weighing on the minds of millions of working women. And though hope and prayer offer solace, they are not a substitute for support. You need a community that offers a place where you can be honest about what you're feeling and gain access to experts who can provide guidance to help you navigate these challenging times.

If this is you and you're wondering what to do next, join my networking and empowerment group: So Now What? at sonowwhat.net

• Be a part of a supportive community of women
• Get real about what you're feeling and experiencing at this time.
• Have access to coaching from me through conversatiosn facilitated within the group.
• Hear from experts who share crucial insights on topics that matter most to you.
• Learn tips on how to maintain your mental and physcial weelness, deal with loss, manage stress and more.
• Participate in virtual events and ask your most pressing questions
• Weigh in on what kind of support would be most beneficial to you.

In the first two months of 2025, approximately 221,812 Americans have lost their jobs—a 33% increase compared to the same period in 2024*. These losses are across every sector, from government jobs to the private sector, hitting us all hard.

• What should I be doing to prepare myself right now?
• How do I survive if I lose my income unexpectedly?
• How can I connect with others so I don't feel alone?
• How do I remain resilient?
• How do I prepare myself for my next chapter?

• What are the ways that I create additional streams of income?

• Where can I turn to for support?

These are the questions that are weighing on the minds of millions of working women. And though hope and prayer offer solace, they are not a substitute for support. You need a community that offers a place where you can be honest about what you're feeling and gain access to experts who can provide guidance to help you navigate these challenging times.

As an executive coach for high-performing women, I have supported countless clients on their journeys of personal and professional development. Traditional coaching can require an investment of thousands of dollars, and not everyone can afford that right now. So I feel a deep responsibility to create a space where working women who are struggling can share what they're experiencing and get coaching support.

GO TO sonowwhat.net to find out how you can join this community of supportive women, and listen to this episode to hear all the resources opportunties and insight you'll get by becoming a member for just $9.99.

Support is Sexy podcast host Elayne Fluker is an ICF-trained Executive Coach for high-performing women who are transitioning to their next level. Her clients have worked for organizations such as Pfizer, Amazon, Expedia, Bain & Company and more. She is creator of Next Level Navigator -- a dynamic 3-month coaching program for women leaders. Elayne is also an author, speaker, podcast host and facilitator of leadership development workshops for Fortune 500 companies and organizations. Her LinkedIn Learning courses on soft skills, emotional intelligence and finding the right executive coach have been attended by more than 45,000 students. Click here to get in touch with Elayne.

(*Statistic from Forbes)