Support is Sexy

I'm at a crossroads, y'all. My book, Get Over "I Got It" is officially out in the world. (And a huge thank you to all of you who supported me by buying a copy -- whether print book or audiobook). This journey, three years in the making, has been an extraordinary learning experience for me. This dream, a lifetime in the making, was finally checked off the list.

But you know what no one tells you to prepare for? The "now what" part of the journey. I'm sure there are authors and entrepreneurs who planned that next chapter way in advance. I didn't. And now, as I said, I'm at a crossroads.

Which isn't a bad thing. And in this episode, I share how I'm navigating this part of the journey, living a few important questions and choosing to be open to being guided by spirit -- with support, of course. I'm committed to my calling, which I believe is to help women learn how to get the support they deserve for success and fulfillment. But answering that calling isn't always easy.

Whatever part of your journey you're going through right now, I hope you remember to get quiet, listen to that internal voice ("trust your gut") and then make your next, best move.

ALSO: If you'd like a special 50% off discount on the audiobook for Get Over "I Got It", click here!

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In this episode of Support is Sexy, Katherine and Nick North, who are featured in Elayne's new book "Get Over 'I Got It," rejoin the podcast to talk about pride, support, creating safe spaces, and letting people show up for you. Hear more about asking courageously and answering with radical honesty in this episode of Support is Sexy.

Elayne Fluker

Elayne Fluker is the author of the new book, "Get Over 'I Got It': How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn't Mean Doing It All Alone." As host of the SUPPORT IS SEXY podcast, she interviews more than 500 successful women entrepreneurs around the world, who share inspiring, true stories of the ups and the downs of their entrepreneurial journeys. Elayne is also the founder of SiS.Academy, an online learning platform for women entrepreneurs. For more information about Elayne Fluker, please visit elaynefluker.com. Thank you for listening!

About our Guest:

Katherine North is a writer and executive coach, helping high achieving, secretly sensitive women declare dominion over their demanding lives. She is the author of Holy Heathen: A Spiritual Memoir. Nick North is a brand strategist, speaker, and influencer who helps solopreneurs and corporations create more money, more impact, and more meaning in their businesses. Together, they made an award-winning documentary, Just Another Beautiful Family, and recently appeared on Discovery Plus show Life Under Renovation.

Insight from this episode:

• Why we don't need to be the martyr ever and how to create safe spaces for ourselves.
• The benefits of focusing on the possible as opposed to what's probable.
• Tips for getting comfortable with the "uncomfortable asking."
• How to tell when you're happily giving, tolerating, or enduring, and why you must protect your own emotional wellness and negotiate when necessary.

Quotes from the show:

• "I had a feeling of, like, I need to stick it out here because there needs to be a beacon of light. But then I got to the spot where I was like, actually no, that doesn't have to be my job, and I've done it enough and my kids need to be in a spot now where they don't feel different all the time." –Nick North Support is Sexy Ep. #779
• On being straight passing: "There is a cost to it. There's a cost to every time someone says something terrible to you, even if they didn't mean it to be terrible. Even if their intention wasn't to hurt you. It still hurts." –Nick North Support is Sexy Ep. #779
• On the uncomfortable asking: "That can feel really scary. That could be a huge fight. That could potentially open up big cracks in the foundation that you were just really hoping you wouldn't have to look at." –Katherine North Support is Sexy Ep. #779
• "If my "why" has good intentions… then I can change it from it being about me to it being about giving back… If I can go back to the why I need that support, it usually has a really good intention behind it that will put good things into the world… If I have to trick myself to take care of myself that way, I'm for it." –Nick North Support is Sexy Ep. #779

Resources Mentioned

CLICK HERE to get 50% off the audiobook of Get Over "I Got It" by Elayne Fluker (HarperCollins Leadership)!

Support is Sexy Episode 620

Red Met Yellow website design

Holy Heathen: A Spiritual Memoir

Stay Connected:

Elayne Fluker

Website: elaynefluker.com

Twitter: @elaynefluker

Facebook: Elayne Fluker

Instagram: @elaynefluker

LinkedIn: Elayne Fluker

Youtube: Elayne Fluker

Katherine North

Website: https://declaredominion.com/

Instagram: @declaredominion

Facebook: Declare Dominion

Nick North

Website: https://wethenorths.com/

Instagram: @wethenorths

Support is Sexy

Website: Support is Sexy Podcast

Facebook: Support is Sexy

Instagram: @supportissexy

Youtube: Support is Sexy Podcast Playlist

Post-production for this episode was provided by Podcast Laundry.

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In this episode of Support is Sexy, intenSati Founder Patricia Moreno, who is featured in Elayne's new book "Get Over 'I Got It'" (HarperCollins Leadership), discusses how to "live the question" and hunger for the answer. The more you immerse yourself in living the question, the easier it is to take action when the answer comes. Learn how to be a spiritual badass on Support is Sexy.

Elayne Fluker

Elayne Fluker is the author of the new book, "Get Over 'I Got It': How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn't Mean Doing It All Alone." As host of the SUPPORT IS SEXY podcast, she interviews more than 500 successful women entrepreneurs around the world, who share inspiring, true stories of the ups and the downs of their entrepreneurial journeys. Elayne is also the founder of SiS.Academy, an online learning platform for women entrepreneurs. For more information about Elayne Fluker, please visit elaynefluker.com. Thank you for listening!

About our Guest:

Patricia Moreno is a pioneer of spiritual fitness and Creator of intenSati, a signature movement method pairing mindfulness with physicality. She created a digital community to inspire the lifestyle habits of inner strength, radiant health, and embodied positivity. Patricia is an international speaker, inspiring people worldwide.

Insight from this episode:

• Strategies to think from the person we want to be, not about the person we want to be.
• The power of pairing movement with thoughts and affirmations.
• How to live the question-- and how to make sure you're living the right question!
• How to harness willpower to build habits that will change your life and live in line with your values.

Quotes from the show:

• "If my identity is: I am fat, there is just no way, how can I be thin? How can I be fit? If I am fat, and I lose 20 pounds, 30 pounds, I am, for a moment, thin. I'm a thin fat person… I still identify myself as fat." –Patricia Moreno Support is Sexy Ep. #778
• "Sometimes the affirmation is not even strong enough yet to get you to actually feel the courage or confidence or the emotion, but it's enough to put a gate up so that you're no longer saying what you used to say." –Patricia Moreno Support is Sexy Ep. #778
• "Decide. Decide what you want more of. Decide what's important to you. What do you want more of today? Is it energy? Is it compassion? Is it to be kind? What is it? Pull it in and activate it in yourself." –Patricia Moreno Support is Sexy Ep. #778
• "You can't get the idea until you've set the intention or you've asked the question." –Patricia Moreno Support is Sexy Ep. #778
• "Sometimes we get the inspired moment, but we don't take the inspired action." –Elayne Fluker Support is Sexy Ep. #778
• On willpower: "I'm not going to force myself. I'm going to allow myself. I'm going to become this person. I accept that I am willing to change... Yes, I have to put effort. Yes, I have to be conscious because I like to grab those things. But it's an internal willingness to change versus a short-term holding my breath and forcing myself." –Patricia Moreno Support is Sexy Ep. #778

Resources Mentioned

Wayne Dyer's Manifest Your Destiny

Patricia Moreno's The IntenSati Method: The Seven Secret Principles to Thinner Peace

CLICK HERE to get 50% off the audiobook of Get Over "I Got It" by Elayne Fluker (HarperCollins Leadership)!

Stay Connected:

Elayne Fluker

Website: elaynefluker.com

Twitter: @elaynefluker

Facebook: Elayne Fluker

Instagram: @elaynefluker

LinkedIn: Elayne Fluker

Youtube: Elayne Fluker

Patricia Moreno

Website: https://patriciamoreno.com

Facebook: Patricia Moreno

Instagram: @patriciamoreno33

Youtube: Patricia Moreno

Support is Sexy

Website: Support is Sexy Podcast

Facebook: Support is Sexy

Instagram: @supportissexy

Youtube: Support is Sexy Podcast Playlist

Post-production for this episode was provided by Podcast Laundry.

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In this episode of Support is Sexy, Dawn Shedrick, Founder of JenTex Training & Consulting, is featured in Elayne's new book GET OVER "I Got It" (HarperCollins Leadership) in Chapter 6: Stop Being the Strong. Dawn joins the podcast to speak on the dangers of being the strong one, why you need to unlearn certain unhealthy behaviors and mindsets, and how to avoid burnout and embrace support because as you know, Support is Sexy!

Elayne Fluker

Elayne Fluker is the author of the new book, "Get Over 'I Got It': How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn't Mean Doing It All Alone." As host of the SUPPORT IS SEXY podcast, she interviews more than 500 successful women entrepreneurs around the world, who share inspiring, true stories of the ups and the downs of their entrepreneurial journeys. Elayne is also the founder of SiS.Academy, an online learning platform for women entrepreneurs. For more information about Elayne Fluker, please visit elaynefluker.com. Thank you for listening!

About our Guest:

Dawn E. Shedrick, LCSW-R, is Founder & Chief Executive Officer at JenTex Training & Consulting, a professional development company for social workers and human service organizations. Dawn is also a certified life and business coach, ordained interfaith minister, Reiki Master Teacher, and Clinical Aromatherapist.

Insight from this episode:

• Strategies for overcoming being "the strong one."
• Details on the three defining features of burnout and how to recognize it in ourselves and others.
• How to set boundaries in your work to avoid and heal from burnout.
• Tips for taking control of your environment to lessen stress and empower yourself.

Quotes from the show:

• "If you look at the more specific signs and symptoms of burnout, many of them mimic the literal, clinical criteria for major depression." –Dawn Shedrick Support is Sexy Ep. #777
• "I don't mean that your supervisors or the people who own the company are intentionally malicious people who intend to burn you out. Sometimes it's just the conditions that are not working for you and are harming you." –Dawn Shedrick Support is Sexy Ep. #777
• "I'm not telling anyone to quit their job… Give yourself permission to explore and make the choice." –Dawn Shedrick Support is Sexy Ep. #777
• "We can't always control what is going to stress us, but we can be empowered to take responsibility and to take ownership of our environment and how we care for ourselves and each other. We have to be mindful of stress and its impact on us in terms of burnout." –Dawn Shedrick Support is Sexy Ep. #777
• "Unlearning for me has been a process of digging into, reflecting on, deconstructing the ways in which I was conditioned to not seek support. How was I conditioned around what it meant to be independent and to be self-actualized and self-directed?" –Dawn Shedrick Support is Sexy Ep. #777
• "When I let go of the Superwoman Complex and hired [a team], I can focus on the aspects of my business that are going to allow it to grow and to expand, yes, to bring in more revenue, but to actually have more impact, which is more important to me." –Dawn Shedrick Support is Sexy Ep. #777
• "There's as much value in the unlearning as there is in the learning." –Dawn Shedrick Support is Sexy Ep. #777

Stay Connected:

Elayne Fluker

Website: elaynefluker.com

Twitter: @elaynefluker

Facebook: Elayne Fluker

Instagram: @elaynefluker

LinkedIn: Elayne Fluker

Youtube: Elayne Fluker

Dawn Shedrick

Website: https://www.jentextraining.com/

LinkedIn: Dawn Shedrick and JenTex Training & Consulting

Support is Sexy

Website: Support is Sexy Podcast

Facebook: Support is Sexy

Instagram: @supportissexy

Youtube: Support is Sexy Podcast Playlist

Post-production for this episode was provided by Podcast Laundry.

[Music: "Stomp and Clap" by Scott Holmes from Free Music Archive]

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It's one week after the launch of my new book, Get Over "I Got It", and whether it's conversations with friends or one of the many interviews I've been blessed to do, a question that keeps coming up is: How does it feel to be a published author?

My answer: I'm not sure, but I do know that it feels amazing to finish!

On this episode of the Support is Sexy podcast -- which was recorded while I was out on my walk this morning, so please excuse the background noise -- I share what I am feeling and thinking one week following my book's debut in the world. My perspective has definitely evolved throughout this process.

In a nutshell, whatever dream you have, remember to celebrate the steps you took day to day to see it to fruition. This way any "success" or accolades that comes after that are just bonus. And if those things never come, hey, you've already won!

Thank you for your support. If you'd like to learn more about me and about my book, Get Over "I Got It" visit getoverigotit.com.

And if you post a picture with the book, please use the hashtags #getoverigotit and #GOIGI so we can celebrate you, too!

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May 11. Today is the day. At midnight, I officially became a published book author for the very first time. I've been both excited and anxious about this day; but I'm also grateful. Grateful for the many who have supported me along the way, and grateful for what I believe will be the next chapter. "Get Over 'I Got It' is out in the world for you to enjoy. But that's not the end, that is just the beginning!

And friends, I hope you'll come celebrate with me this week!

⭐️TUESDAY, May 11th: Book release day live chat with Ramunda Young, owner of DC's MahoganyBooks! 🙌🏾 Register here: https://www.crowdcast.io/mahoganybooks .

⭐️FRIDAY, May 14th: It's a celebration! 🎉 Grab your friends and join me for a Girls Night In celebration with a virtual wine tasting, live dj, prizes and more! You deserve to have a good time! GET YOUR TICKET (which includes a copy of the book) here! https://bit.ly/girlsnightinwithelayne

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On May 11th my very first book, "Get Over 'I Got It'" (HarperCollins Leadership) will be released into the world. All I can say is EEEEEKKK!! Excited, nervous, anxious, did I say excited? It's all swirling around. But what I refuse to do is let Agnes (which is what I call my anxiety) get the best of me. To hold myself accountable, I'm going to go LIVE every day for the next 7 days until book launch and find AT LEAST ONE amazing thing to share with you about this crazy book launch process. Follow me @elaynefluker on all the socials to catch my live streams. Buckle your seat belts because here we go!

(And by the way: Preorder your copy of my book at getoverigotit.com and you'll get some cool bonuses from me! Or pick up wherever books are sold at any time after May 11th. K, thanks!)

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In this episode of Support is Sexy, Dr. Zoe Shaw, who is featured in "Get Over 'I Got it,'" joins Elayne to discuss the "Superwoman Complex" and how to retire your cape. Dr. Zoe shares how she got over her 'I Got It' Syndrome, how to avoid overwhelm, and why we need to learn how to accept support. Don't miss the expert advice on overcoming the shame and guilt of "should" and making real change in our lives in this episode of Support is Sexy.

Elayne Fluker

Elayne Fluker is the author of the new book, "Get Over 'I Got It': How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn't Mean Doing It All Alone." As host of the SUPPORT IS SEXY podcast, she interviews more than 500 successful women entrepreneurs around the world, who share inspiring, true stories of the ups and the downs of their entrepreneurial journeys. Elayne is also the founder of SiS.Academy, an online learning platform for women entrepreneurs. For more information about Elayne Fluker, please visit elaynefluker.com. Thank you for listening!

About our Guest:

Dr. Zoe Shaw is a licensed psychotherapist, life coach, and relationship expert. She is a mother of 5, a wife of 25 years, and the host of The Dr. Zoe Show Redefining Your Superwoman Podcast. Dr. Zoe Shaw's new book A Year of Self-Care: Daily Practices and Inspiration for Caring for Yourself is available now.

Insight from this episode:

• What is "Superwoman Complex" and why do we need to get over it?
• Signs you are taking on too much and symptoms of burnout.
• How to reframe your "failure" and reshape your identity.
• Strategies to make lasting, positive changes in your life and family.
• Tips for moms to create balance and practice self-care in 2021.

Quotes from the show:

• "That whole idea of superwoman started from such a wonderful place. It started from I think the Women's Movement and this idea that we can do it all, and then over the years, it morphed into 'We are freaking exhausted.'" –Dr. Zoe Shaw Support is Sexy Ep. #773
• "This idea that we can do it all doesn't mean we have to do it all in one season. It doesn't mean that we have to do it all by ourselves." –Dr. Zoe Shaw Support is Sexy Ep. #773
• "Our cape has to be healthy, it has to be light, and it has to look like us, not somebody else." –Dr. Zoe Shaw Support is Sexy Ep. #773
• "If when you look at your priorities and you figure out I don't want to be this way anymore, it's okay to completely shift… It's okay to change." –Dr. Zoe Shaw Support is Sexy Ep. #773
• "It's easier to make very small changes. You'll have better reactions from the system, and on top of that you'll be more likely to follow through… as you make small changes, you will actually be more motivated to make slightly bigger changes." –Dr. Zoe Shaw Support is Sexy Ep. #773
• "Showing up authenticity as yourself is the easiest way to mother, and it's the healthiest way to mother. Hopefully, that takes a little bit of that guilt off of your shoulders, takes some of that burden of having to be perfect off of your shoulders." –Dr. Zoe Shaw Support is Sexy Ep. #773

Resources Mentioned

A Year of Self Care by Dr. Zoe Shaw

GetOverIGotIt.com

Stay Connected:

Elayne Fluker

Website: elaynefluker.com

Twitter: @elaynefluker

Facebook: Elayne Fluker

Instagram: @elaynefluker

LinkedIn: Elayne Fluker

Youtube: Elayne Fluker

Dr. Zoe Shaw

Website: https://drzoeshaw.com/

Twitter: @drzoeshaw

Facebook: Dr. Zoe Shaw

Instagram: @drzoeshaw

LinkedIn: Dr. Zoe Shaw

Support is Sexy

Website: Support is Sexy Podcast

Facebook: Support is Sexy

Instagram: @supportissexy

Youtube: Support is Sexy Podcast Playlist

Post-production for this episode was provided by Podcast Laundry.

[Music: "Stomp and Clap" by Scott Holmes from Free Music Archive]

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In this episode of Support is Sexy, CEO of Nonprofit HR Lisa Brown Alexander, who is featured in Elayne's upcoming book, Get Over 'I Got It,' speaks about her experience in removing her mask, getting the support she needs, and prioritizing her mental health. Lisa also discusses why successful Black women are more likely to wear masks and why you need to get honest about whether or not your mask is weighing you down.

Elayne Fluker

Elayne Fluker is the author of the new book, "Get Over 'I Got It': How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn't Mean Doing It All Alone." As host of the SUPPORT IS SEXY podcast, she interviews more than 500 successful women entrepreneurs around the world, who share inspiring, true stories of the ups and the downs of their entrepreneurial journeys. Elayne is also the founder of SiS.Academy, an online learning platform for women entrepreneurs. For more information about Elayne Fluker, please visit elaynefluker.com. Thank you for listening!

About our Guest:

Lisa Brown Alexander is the Founder and CEO of Nonprofit HR, the leading human resources firm in the country that works exclusively with the nonprofit sector in consulting, talent acquisition, executive search, and education. Lisa is the author of Strong on the Outside, Dying on the Inside. Lisa is also the Owner of luxury retreat destination Wellspring Manor & Spa in Maryland.

Insight from this episode:

• Why we wear masks and what it takes to free yourself of that burden.
• What to do when you're tired of being tired and how to get over "I got it!"
• How to take a "Yes, and…" approach to mental health and wellness.
• Strategies for coping when your "drug of choice" is work and success.

Quotes from the show:

• "[T]hey don't understand when you're living with depression and you got your career and your spouse and you're doing fine and your kids are great. It doesn't make sense. Because it doesn't make sense and that story is harder to tell, we hold that mask on tighter, so we look like we have it all together when in fact we're falling apart." –Lisa Brown Alexander Support is Sexy Ep. #770
• "I had a great good corporate job, corner office, the whole nine yards, and the second I would get in my car, I would start crying." –Lisa Brown Alexander Support is Sexy Ep. #770
• "We are whole persons. We have our spiritual component, a mental component, an emotional, a financial. Tend to each of those aspects of yourself by seeing the people who can support those aspects of yourself." –Lisa Brown Alexander Support is Sexy Ep. #770
• "Talking is a key part of mental health, healing and wellness, and unpacking and unloading those things that are causing crisis in your mental health." –Lisa Brown Alexander Support is Sexy Ep. #770
• "So many of us do not take the time to retreat, and relax, and restore." –Lisa Brown Alexander Support is Sexy Ep. #770
• "Be honest with yourself and be okay saying no, I can't do that." –Lisa Brown Alexander Support is Sexy Ep. #770

Resources Mentioned

NAMI Support Groups

TalkSpace

BetterHelp

Get Cerebral

Stay Connected:

Elayne Fluker

Website: elaynefluker.com

Twitter: @elaynefluker

Facebook: Elayne Fluker

Instagram: @elaynefluker

LinkedIn: Elayne Fluker

Youtube: Elayne Fluker

Lisa Brown Alexander

Website: https://www.nonprofithr.com/

Twitter: @NonprofitHRCEO

Facebook: @nonprofithr

LinkedIn: Lisa Brown Alexander

Support is Sexy

Website: Support is Sexy Podcast

Facebook: Support is Sexy

Instagram: @supportissexy

Youtube: Support is Sexy Podcast Playlist

Post-production for this episode was provided by Podcast Laundry.

[Music: "Stomp and Clap" by Scott Holmes from Free Music Archive]

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In this episode of Support is Sexy, Founder and CEO of CoveyClub and former Editor-in-Chief of More Magazine Lesley Jane Seymour gives her best tips for successful reinvention. Lesley — who is featured in chapter 10 of Elayne's new book — Get Over "I Got It" (HarperCollins Leadership) discusses how to plan for different types of reinvention, the liberation of becoming who you are when you no longer care what others think, and her work in creating supportive communities of growth.

Elayne Fluker

Elayne Fluker is author of the new book, "Get Over 'I Got It': How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support and Remember that Having It All Doesn't Mean Doing It All Alone." As host of the SUPPORT IS SEXY podcast, she interviews more than 500 successful women entrepreneurs around the world, who share inspiring, true stories of the ups and the downs of their entrepreneurial journeys. Elayne is also founder of SiS.Academy, an online learning platform for women entrepreneurs. For more information about Elayne Fluker, please visit elaynefluker.com. Thank you for listening!

About our Guest:

Lesley Jane Seymour is Founder of CoveyClub, a meeting place for lifelong learners who support each other in business and personal growth. Former award-winning Editor-in-Chief of More Magazine, she is also current host of the Reinvent Yourself podcast. Lesley is featured in Elayne's upcoming book "Get Over 'I Got it.'"

Insight from this episode:

• Strategies to develop your reinvention mindset and get unstuck.
• How to let go of your former identity, cultivate your interests, and shift your paradigm.
• The dangers of routine and getting too comfortable.
• Reflections on what the world after COVID and rethinking work-life balance.

Quotes from the show:

• "You have to have a reinvention mindset because you can't stop and get stuck in anything you do… it's just a constant movement, a constant learning." –Lesley Jane Seymour Support is Sexy Ep. #771
• "We use learning as the can-opener to any problem that we find out there." –Lesley Jane Seymour Support is Sexy Ep. #771
• "Reinvention is coming your way… You have to keep your eyes open for all the reinvention opportunities that throw themselves in your path every day." –Lesley Jane Seymour Support is Sexy Ep. #771
• "You have to have a reinvention plan in your back pocket… You need to take that side hustle and really start developing it." –Lesley Jane Seymour Support is Sexy Ep. #771
• "We tend to fit ourselves into the box, but the box was very big before." –Lesley Jane Seymour Support is Sexy Ep. #771

Resources Mentioned

CoveyClub

Reinvent Yourself with Lesley Jane Seymour Podcast

Stay Connected:

Elayne Fluker

Website: elaynefluker.com

Twitter: @elaynefluker

Facebook: Elayne Fluker

Instagram: @elaynefluker

LinkedIn: Elayne Fluker

Youtube: Elayne Fluker

Lesley Jane Seymour

Website: https://www.coveyclub.com/

Twitter: @LesleyJSeymour

Facebook: Lesley Jane Seymour

Instagram: @lesleyjseymour

LinkedIn: Lesley Jane Seymour

Support is Sexy

Website: Support is Sexy Podcast

Facebook: Support is Sexy

Instagram: @supportissexy

Youtube: Support is Sexy Podcast Playlist

Post-production for this episode was provided by Podcast Laundry.

[Music: "Stomp and Clap" by Scott Holmes from Free Music Archive]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices