In this episode, Kendra welcomes Dr. Sarah Grimmer, a licensed clinical psychologist with a PhD in clinical psychology, to discuss her groundbreaking research on physician spouse burnout, secondary traumatic stress, and the program she has developed to support medical families.

Sarah shares her personal journey of balancing PhD studies and family life while her husband pursued a medical career. (Can you imagine?? 🤯) The conversation explores:

• How secondary traumatic stress affects physician spouses

• The prevalence of anxiety, depression, and suicidality among spouses

• Key findings from Sarah’s research and what surprised her most

• The importance of resilience and how medical life impacts families

• A new digital video series to support physician families virtually

The episode also highlights collaboration with the Tarrant County Medical Society Alliance and Sarah’s upcoming research presentation at the American Conference on Physician Health.

• Dr. Sarah Grimmer, PhD

  • Instagram: @drsarahmedlife

  • Email: [email protected]

  • Research Paper: When perceived physician burnout leads to family burnout: How secondary emotional trauma impacts physician spouses

• Register for WellRounds (Sarah’s virtual program through the Tarrant County Medical Society Alliance): 👉 Event Registration

• Upcoming Discussion Groups

  • September 16, 2025 — 12:00 PM & 8:00 PM CT

• 00:00 – Introduction and Guest Welcome

• 04:05 – Meet Dr. Sarah Grimmer

• 05:07 – Balancing PhD and Medical Residency

• 06:17 – Research on Physician Spouse Burnout

• 08:04 – Understanding Secondary Traumatic Stress

• 10:29 – Collecting Data and Surprising Findings

• 13:03 – Suicide Awareness and Statistics

• 14:20 – Resilience and Medical Life Impact

• 16:34 – New Digital Video Series for Medical Families

• 19:25 – How to Participate and Register

• 21:40 – Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Today’s episode is something special—we asked you, our listeners, to send in the questions you’ve always wanted answered from the physician’s perspective. The result? A candid, insightful conversation with Dr. Adrian Harvey, neurosurgeon, husband to our co-host Kendra for 21 years, and father of five.

Adrian opens up about his unexpected path into medicine, meeting Kendra in the middle of medical school, and what it’s really like to balance one of the most demanding professions with raising a family. Together, Kendra and Adrian reflect on:

✨ How they grew from “survival mode” in residency to a true partnership ✨ What worked (and what didn’t) when it came to protecting each other during training ✨ The role counseling, mentors, and personal growth played in strengthening their marriage ✨ Practical ways they share the mental load and keep connection alive, even in busy seasons ✨ Why self-care (for physicians and spouses) matters more than ever—and what that looks like in their home

Whether you’re in the thick of medical training, newly adjusting to “post-residency life,” or years into this journey, you’ll find both honesty and hope in this conversation.

• Episode with Kendra on her perspective of training years

• Jennifer Finlayson-Fife & Jody Moore (mentors mentioned by Kendra)

👉 Follow the podcast: Supporting Physician Spouses 👉 Join our community on Instagram: @supportingphysicianspouses 👉 Share this episode with a friend who needs encouragement on the medical journey

💬 Kendra Harvey’s Journey as a Physician Spouse

In this special episode of Supporting Physician Spouses, Katie flips the script and interviews her co-host and friend, Kendra Harvey.

Normally the one guiding conversations, today, Kendra shares her own story of walking alongside her husband through medical school, residency, fellowship, and beyond. She opens up about the early years of marriage and motherhood, the loneliness and resilience that shaped her, and how those experiences inspired her to create her coaching business, It Gets Better Now.

This conversation is honest, hopeful, and full of encouragement for every physician spouse navigating the demands of medicine.

📍 Inside the episode:

• Kendra’s first years as a med school spouse and new mom without a support system

• The blog that became her outlet (and eventually a lifeline for others)

• Why “it gets better” isn’t the full truth—and what really makes the difference

• How life coaching gave her tools to support other spouses

• Her vision for systemic change in supporting physician families

Whether you’re just beginning the medical journey or years into it, Kendra’s story reminds us that you don’t have to figure it out alone.

✨ Connect with Kendra on Instagram @kendra_itgetsbetternow  

✨ Connect with us: Instagram @supportingphysicianspouses

💌 If this episode encouraged you, please leave a quick review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it helps other physician spouses find our community.

In the chaos of medical life—whether it’s long shifts, away rotations, or simply the nonstop pace—connection with your partner can slip to the bottom of the priority list. But it doesn’t have to stay there. In this special solo minisode, Katie shares practical, research-backed strategies for quickly and meaningfully reconnecting with your partner—without adding pressure, guilt, or resentment.

Drawing on insights from Dr. Wayne Sotile, Dr. Tait Shanafelt, and The Gottman Institute, you’ll learn why micro-moments of connection matter, the science behind what works, and easy-to-implement scripts you can start using today.

You’ll also hear how four powerful mindsets—Meaning, Wonderment, Incorporation, and Realistic Optimism—can shift your perspective and strengthen your bond, even during high-stress seasons.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why “small tidbits” of connection can be more powerful than grand gestures

• Dr. Wayne Sotile’s findings on physician families and resilience

• Dr. Tait Shanafelt’s research on burnout and its ripple effects at home

• The Gottman Institute’s key predictors for lasting relationships

• Definitions and practical applications of Meaning, Wonderment, Incorporation, and Realistic Optimism

• How to apply simple scripts to re-engage with your partner in under 5 minutes

• Why prioritizing these micro-moments is not selfish—it’s essential

Resources & References:

• Dr. Wayne Sotile – The Sotile Center for Resilience

• Dr. Tait Shanafelt – Mayo Clinic & Stanford Research on Physician Well-being

• The Gottman Institute

Let’s Connect:

• Follow along on Instagram: @supportingphysicianspouses

• Share this episode with a fellow physician spouse who could use a quick connection boost

• Subscribe so you never miss an episode

Summary: In the last two episodes, we explored how medical life can hijack your identity—and how to reclaim it. Now we’re getting practical. In this conversation, Katie and Kendra share real-life tools to help you live into your reclaimed identity even in the middle of chaos, fatigue, and unpredictable schedules. You’ll hear personal updates (including hawk encounters, Jane Austen pilgrimages, and college tours), plus a deep dive into how to make habits stick when life is anything but calm.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why “waiting for the right season” to start new habits means you’ll probably never start.

• How to use floors and ceilings to beat all-or-nothing thinking.

• The power of tiny habits—and why a 30-second action counts.

• How to apply habit stacking so your new routines naturally fit into daily life.

• A real-time example of building a stillness habit (and overcoming all the excuses along the way).

• Why celebrating even the smallest wins matters more than you think.

Resources & Links Mentioned:

• The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks (Einstein Time concept)

• The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy (penny-doubling story)

• VIP event details for the AMA Alliance Western States Regional Meeting (Salt Lake City, Sept. 18–20)

Listener Challenge: Choose one identity you want to grow into, pick a habit that supports it, and define:

• Floor: the smallest possible version (takes less than 1 minute).

• Ceiling: the fullest expression when conditions are ideal. Then, stack it onto something you already do every day and celebrate when you complete it—no matter the size.

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “When residency is over… then I’ll finally…”? You’re not alone. For many physician spouses, it feels like our dreams and identity are on pause until “someday.” But what if you didn’t have to wait?

In this episode of Supporting Physician Spouses, we dive into how to start living as the future version of yourself—right now. Inspired by James Clear’s Atomic Habits and Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic, we share a roadmap for moving from identity → process → outcome, plus real-life stories of following desire in imperfect seasons.

Here’s what we cover:

• [00:00] Welcome & Host Check-In: Life updates, birthday reflections, and med student insights

• [04:30] Exploring Identity: The importance of becoming your future self now

• [08:00] James Clear’s 3 Layers of Behavior Change: Identity, process, outcome

• [11:30] Starting with Identity vs. Starting with Goals

• [14:15] Desires as Breadcrumbs: Following your deep wants as clues to your future self

• [17:45] Big Magic & Creative Courage: How small acts spark big change

• [21:30] Following Desire Through Residency & Beyond: Real-life story

• [25:15] Faith, Fear & Taking Leaps Without Knowing the Outcome

• [27:45] Visioning Exercise: Naming your future self and core beliefs

• [30:30] Making Space for Desire: Planning and prioritizing amidst busy life

• [32:30] Closing Encouragement & Final Thoughts

• Atomic Habits by James Clear

• Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

• Previous episode: Spiritual Self-Care for the Physician Spouse

In this heartfelt and thought-provoking episode, Kendra and Katie dig into the big question: Who are you becoming through the habits you practice?

After several episodes focused on self-care habits, this conversation zooms out to explore identity, values, and what it means to become someone you're proud of—not just someone who survives the medical journey alongside your partner.

Kendra shares the common experience of “orbiting” a physician’s life and the unintentional way identity can get lost in the role of constant support. Together, they explore how reclaiming identity is not about selfishness, but stewardship—and how building small rituals (called "identity anchors") helps reinforce who you truly are.

Through personal stories—including Kendra’s attempt to run a marathon without fully becoming a runner, and Katie’s reflections on gardening and chasing contentment—they walk through the real-life messiness of becoming and belonging.

Whether you're early in training or years out, this episode invites you to ask a powerful question:

🌀 What kind of woman are you becoming through the habits you practice?

• It’s easy to unintentionally lose your sense of self when your partner’s career demands so much.

• Identity isn't just what you do—it’s who you are becoming every day through repeated habits.

• Not every desire needs to be delayed; some small desires can serve as powerful identity anchors.

• You don’t have to overhaul your life to start reclaiming yourself—just start with one small habit that reconnects you to your values.

• Pay attention to what shows up more than once in your life—that might be your heart trying to tell you something.

What kind of woman are you becoming through the habits you practice? Are those habits aligned with someone you're proud to be?

If this episode resonated with you, share it with another physician spouse who needs this message. Follow us on Instagram @supportingphysicianspouses or email us at [email protected].

And if you’ve got a moment, please rate and review the podcast—it helps others find us and grow this supportive community!

🎙 Episode 8: Spiritual Self-Care — Tuning Into Awe, Stillness & Meaning

Welcome back to Supporting Physician Spouses! In this final installment of our three-part self-care series, we turn our attention inward—to the soul. In this episode, Kendra and Katie explore what it really means to care for your spiritual self, especially when life feels hectic, loud, or overwhelming.

Spiritual self-care isn’t just about religion. It’s about awe. Wonder. Stillness. Meaning. Nature. Creativity. Silence. It’s about reconnecting with the core of who you are—even if just for a moment.

From slug-spotting with children to rediscovering the color green after a long winter, Katie and Kendra share personal stories and reflections that invite you to notice the sacred in your everyday life.

📚 Featured Resource:

• The Power of Stillness: Mindful Living for Latter-day Saints — a favorite book for both hosts, helping reframe spiritual care in the chaos of parenting and life.

• Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life by Dacher Keltner

• Have a moment of awe with music.  Bastille x Freya Ridings - Pompeii MMXXIII | Live at The Earthshot Prize Awards

• Have a moment of awe with stunning visuals Cosmic Eye Video 

🧠 Key Themes & Takeaways:

• Nature as a portal to presence and awe

• Parenting as an opportunity for spiritual practice

• Why spiritual needs are not indulgent—but sacred

• How mirror neurons help children reflect our energy

• Redefining meditation as presence, not perfection

• Moments of beauty can ground us if we let them

• Asking for what you need starts with knowing what you need

🌱 Try This Practice: This week, ask yourself: “What might I be missing?” Is it stillness? Awe? Connection? A deep breath? Choose one small act of spiritual care—and let it be enough.

Podcast: Supporting Physician Spouses Hosts: Kendra Harvey & Katie Harris

In this heartwarming and eye-opening episode, Kendra and Katie dive into the concept of social self-care—not the kind that fills your calendar, but the kind that fills your soul. Whether you feel isolated or simply want to deepen your friendships, this episode offers practical insights and honest conversation around building the meaningful connections every physician family needs.

• What social self-care really looks like for physician spouses

• Why proximity, timing, and energy all matter—and what to do when you’re short on all three

• The surprising number of hours it takes to move from acquaintance to close friend

• The four essential types of social support every physician family needs:

• Emotional: empathy, care, and safe companionship

• Instrumental: practical help and tangible support

• Informational: advice and wisdom from those with experience

• Appraisal: encouragement, validation, and perspective

• Why your spouse can’t be everything—and why that’s okay

• How asking for help is a brave act of connection, not weakness

• The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins

• The Rabbit Effect: Live Longer, Happier, and Healthier with the Groundbreaking Science of Kindness by Kelli Harding

Who in your life fills each of the four types of social support? Is there one area you’d like to strengthen—and how can you take one small step toward doing that this week?

“You are part of a quiet, powerful community—and we're so glad you're here.”

Stay tuned for the final installment in this three-part self-care series: Spiritual Self-Care. We’ll explore stillness, presence, and practices that ground you in meaning.

In this first episode of our 3-part series on soul care, we dive into emotional self-care — not the bubble bath kind, but the messy, sacred work of reconnecting with our own emotions.

As physician spouses, it’s easy to become emotionally invisible to ourselves while managing everyone else’s needs. Kendra and Katie share real stories, honest reflections, and practical ways to begin honoring your own emotional needs. Whether you feel emotionally numb, overwhelmed, or simply unsure of how to name what you're feeling — you're not alone.

This episode is an invitation to pause, check in, and start small steps toward emotional awareness.

• Why emotional self-care is not a luxury but a lifeline

• The unique emotional load carried by physician spouses

• The pattern of becoming emotionally invisible while staying high-functioning

• The tension between supporting your spouse and finding your own identity

• Real stories: from Mother’s Day letdowns to sacred moments of connection

• Why naming your emotions matters (and how most of us skip this step)

• The power of allowing yourself to feel instead of suppressing emotions

• Navigating vulnerability and emotional honesty with others

• How to create safe spaces for emotional conversations with trusted friends

💡 Throughout your day, pause and ask yourself: "How am I really?" And if the answer is, “I’m not sure” — that’s okay. That’s where awareness begins.

• Dr. Sarah Grimmer — Research on physician family wellness and secondary trauma

• Free Download: Self-Care Reflection Worksheet → [Insert Link]

• Podcast Series: Stay tuned for upcoming episodes on Social Self-Care and Spiritual Self-Care

📩 Email: [email protected] 📱 Instagram & Facebook: @supportingphysicianspouses

We continue our soul care series with Social Self-Care — exploring how meaningful connection with others helps sustain us, and how to intentionally build support systems that nourish instead of drain.