In this deeply informative and empowering conversation, Kathy Vines sits down with Functional Health Practitioner and owner of Nutrition & Whole Health Solutions, Sarah Tugender, to unpack the myths, misinformation, and mindset shifts surrounding perimenopause and menopause. Sarah shares her professional insight into how women can better understand the physical, emotional, and cultural aspects of this transition, and how to advocate for themselves in a healthcare system that often overlooks them. 

From journaling your symptoms to asking better questions in the doctor’s office, Sarah offers actionable advice for women navigating an unpredictable season of life. Together, Kathy and Sarah also dig into how decades-old research has shaped current medical practices and why many practitioners are still undereducated about menopause care. The conversation expands into related topics like inflammation, weight changes, the rise of GLP-1 medications, and how to evaluate what you’re putting into your body, from supplements to skincare to that nightly glass of wine. 

This episode invites women to reclaim their agency, build informed relationships with healthcare providers, and approach midlife wellness as something to be curated, not endured. 

Key Themes & Takeaways 

• Track what’s changing. Your symptoms may fluctuate day to day; journaling helps you communicate clearly with your provider. 

• Ask better questions. Many doctors received little or no menopause training; find one who stays current on hormone health. 

• Challenge old narratives. Misinformation from decades-old studies still affects women’s options today. (Note – this episode was recorded prior to the FDA’s announcement on November 10, 2025 that this black box safety warning label will be rescinded.) 

• Think holistically. Inflammation, cardiovascular risk, and metabolic changes all play a role in midlife health. 

• Be a conscious consumer. Whether it’s supplements, peptides, or even wine… know what you’re putting in your body. 

Special Offer for Surfers! 

Surfing the Quicksand Podcast Listeners: Mention this podcast when scheduling and receive $100 off an initial consultation with Nutrition & Whole Health Solutions! 

About Sarah Tugender: 

Sarah Tugender has been in the wellness industry for over 20 years, and currently owns Nutrition & Whole Health Solutions, a functional health practice just outside Boston. Throughout her career, she’s worked with thousands of women who’ve been told their symptoms are “normal” or just part of getting older and has made it her mission to change that narrative. Sarah’s passion is helping women understand their bodies and take a science-backed, personalized approach to health that cuts through the noise of trends, fads, and misinformation. She believes functional medicine shouldn’t feel complicated or exclusive; it should feel empowering, accessible, and deeply human. 

https://www.nutritionwholehealthsolutions.com/  

https://www.instagram.com/nwhsolutions/ 

“Meno-divorce,” divorces and separations initiated by women during perimenopause and menopause, are on the rise. Divorce is often painted as failure, conflict, or shame. But what if it could be something else: a process rooted in dignity, communication, and even hope for the future? 

In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, attorney Rebecca Neale joins Kathy to explore what it means to navigate divorce with compassion and clarity. With nearly two decades of experience, Rebecca has guided clients through some of the most difficult transitions of their lives, from amicable separations to contested cases involving domestic violence. 

Rebecca shares why intentional language matters, how co-parenting is really a lifelong group project, and why the decision to divorce can sometimes be the bravest (and healthiest) choice for everyone involved. She also opens up about her own story, why even a lawyer needs her own lawyer, and how mediation can unlock creative, unexpected solutions. 

Whether you’re considering divorce, supporting someone through it, or just curious about how to build healthier approaches to life’s big transitions, this conversation offers practical wisdom with a compassionate perspective. 

Episode Highlights 

• Reframing divorce: not failure, but a life transition that can be handled with dignity. 

• The importance of language in co-parenting and modeling respect for children. 

• How “quiet, amicable work” builds resilience and stability for families over time. 

• The realities of non-amicable divorces and how Rebecca supports clients’ agency and safety. 

• Mediation as a powerful tool for problem-solving and cooperation, even in high-stakes situations. 

Resources and Mentions:  

Book a consultation: www.bedfordfamilylaw.com   
FB: https://www.facebook.com/bedfordfamilylaw/  
IG: https://www.instagram.com/bedfordfamilylaw 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/bedfordfamilylaw/ 

Trends in divorce rates in adults over 50:  
Bowling Green State University Center for Family and Marriage Research https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/FP-24-22.html# and citing Brown & Lin, The Graying of Divorce: A Half Century of Change: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35385579/  

7 out of 10 women blame perimenopause / menopause in the breakdown of their marriage - The Family Law Menopause Project and Newson Health Research and Education https://www.raw-marketing.co.uk/portfolio/family-law-menopause-project/  

About Rebecca Neale 

Attorney Rebecca Neale, J.D., helps people navigate some of the most difficult challenges in their lives. She has advocated for people in conference rooms and courtrooms for almost two decades. Now she runs a small law firm, Bedford Family Law, in the suburbs of Boston, focusing on divorce, custody, and estate planning with compassion, professionalism, and expertise. 

In this thoughtful and tender conversation, Kathy sits down with Sonya Fehér, a life coach who helps midlife women navigate transitions in identity, purpose, and relationships. Together they unpack what happens when the roles we’ve lived by begin to shift or fade, and how we can reimagine who we are when the script changes. 

Sonya shares deeply personal reflections on divorce, single parenting, caregiving for her mother, grappling with loss, and learning to live with awareness that time is not guaranteed. She and Kathy explore the invisible weight of midlife expectations, from career changes to menopause, and how to replace “shoulds” and shame with curiosity and self-compassion. 

You’ll hear how Sonya helps women assess and rebalance their energy across areas like career, health, relationships, and creativity. And you’ll be reminded that the goal of midlife isn’t to cling to who we were; it’s to discover who we’re becoming. 

Key Takeaways 

• Loss and identity are intertwined. Midlife often brings a cascade of transitions (aging parents, grown children, career shifts) that challenge how we define ourselves. 

• Midlife is not expiration. Despite cultural narratives of invisibility, this stage can be expansive and full of new possibilities and rediscovery. 

• Redefining “I’m a person who…” We outgrow versions of ourselves; letting that evolution happen can be freeing rather than frightening. 

• Experimentation is essential. From fitness habits to friendships, trying new things - and being okay when they don’t stick - helps clarify what truly fits now. 

Resources and Mentions:  

https://spacewiseorganizing.com 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/sonyafeher/ 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenlearninghowtobehappy 

https://www.facebook.com/spaceWiseOrganizing/ 

https://www.instagram.com/spacewiseorganizing/ 

Amazon: Sonya’s latest Gratitude Journal: https://amzn.to/3WXfRCw  

About Sonya Fehér:
Sonya Fehér is a midlife women’s coach, life organizer, speaker, and author who helps women navigate transitions and step into the next chapter of their lives with clarity, joy, and purpose.  

Drawing on her background in mindfulness, happiness research, and strategic coaching, Sonya’s passion is helping women not just manage change, but embrace midlife as a powerful opportunity to create the second half of life with intention. 

In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, host Kathy Vines takes us through her own journey of learning more about productivity as a framework for getting things done, and how it shaped her work with others long before she became a Certified Professional Organizer ® and a Productivity Coach. She shares more about her foundational language she shares with others when she’s supporting their goal of being more productive while still valuing a quality of life.  

The episode is perfect for anyone curious about organizing their tasks, finding motivation, or just wanting to rethink how they spend their precious resources of time, money, and energy.  

In this episode, you’ll hear:  

• How Stuff, Systems, and Habits isn’t just for our physical world, but also our time and task 

• Our three currencies in life - Time, Money, and Energy - and how our choices impact each of them 

• How Kathy’s love of helping others be more productive while balancing a quality of life will inform many of her guest episodes here on the podcast.  

Resources and Links: 

• Learn more about Productivity Coaching with Kathy https://www.kathyvines.com/productivity-coach/  

• Learn more about David Allen, Getting Things Done https://gettingthingsdone.com/ 

When entrepreneur Abbie Romanul decided to quit drinking eight years ago, she wasn’t just changing a habit; she was reshaping her life. In this inspiring conversation, Abbie shares how her personal decision to stop drinking became the spark behind Raising the Bar, the first and only zero-proof cocktail subscription box in the U.S. 

Host Kathy Vines talks with Abbie about what it means to navigate a “gray area” relationship with alcohol, one that doesn’t fit the old labels of “alcoholic” or “normal drinker.” Abbie opens up about the stigma she faced in corporate culture and how that experience motivated her to build something that made mindful celebration both inclusive and elevated. 

Their conversation touches on much more than business. It’s about growth, identity, and the courage to redefine yourself in midlife. Abbie shares what it took to launch a company while parenting, caregiving, and recalibrating her sense of purpose, and how she found strength in honoring her own boundaries while deeply steeped in the demands of the sandwich generation.  

Listeners will come away with a deeper understanding of how self-awareness and courage at any age can transform personal challenges into purpose-driven innovation and how redefining success often starts with saying no to what no longer serves you. 

Key Takeaways 

• Reinvention can start with one small, honest choice. 
  Abbie’s decision to quit drinking wasn’t about hitting rock bottom; it was when she realized she wanted something better, and that being served was no longer serving her.  

• Purpose can come from the gaps we notice in our own lives. 
  When Abbie saw how hard it was to celebrate without alcohol, she didn’t just wish for a solution, she created one. 

• Celebration doesn’t require alcohol. 
  The ethos behind Raising the Bar emphasizes inclusivity, creativity, and joy, offering alternative ways to celebrate without compromise. 

• Entrepreneurship can create unexpected freedom. 
  Abbie shares how starting her business gave her flexibility to be fully present for her family, especially during her mother’s illness, showing that running your own venture can offer life-altering autonomy. 

• “One day at a time” is a mantra for more than just recovery. 
  The AA phrase resonated with Abbie as a life philosophy, helping her navigate emotional, professional, and personal challenges without being overwhelmed by the big picture. 

• Curating life is a conscious act. 
  Abbie’s story illustrates that creating a fulfilling life requires intentional choices, especially for women balancing multiple roles. 

About Abbie  

Abbie Romanul is an entrepreneur and the co-founder and CEO of Raising the Bar, redefining how people celebrate with elevated zero-proof cocktails. After quitting drinking, Abbie saw an unmet demand for elevated zero-proof experiences and turned it into a business opportunity. She leveraged her deep marketing expertise and created a brand that makes inclusive celebration both accessible and aspirational.  

Since launching in 2020, Raising the Bar has grown into a multi-million-dollar e-commerce subscription business. With 70+ innovative cocktail kits and partnerships with leading non-alcoholic brands, Raising the Bar is helping thousands of individuals and businesses celebrate with sophistication, creativity, and connection, no alcohol required. A passionate advocate for the zero-proof space, female founders, and purpose-driven business, Abbie has been featured on Forbes, BevNet and leading podcasts.  

Special Offer For Surfing the Quicksand Listeners: 

Don’t forget that code for Raising the Bar! Use SURFING20 to get 20% off your first order with Raising the Bar at weareraisingthebar.com. Code is usable through May 31, 2026. 

Find out more about Raising the Bar:  

weareraisingthebar.com  

instagram @weareraisingthebar.com 

In this episode, Kathy talks with fitness coach Nicole Wade about how midlife women can evolve their approach to exercise, wellness, and self-belief. Nicole shares her deep experience and insights on creating age-appropriate strength programs that support bone health, balance, and overall vitality. She emphasizes the power of aligning your actions with your goals, challenging negative self-talk, and finding empowerment through community support. The conversation illustrates how personal growth and fitness go hand-in-hand at every stage of life. 

Key Takeaways: 

• Fitness at any age: Midlife women can safely engage in strength training to build muscle, improve bone density, and enhance balance, even if they’re new to it or have health concerns. 

• Align actions with goals: Success comes from clarifying your goals and taking consistent, purposeful actions to achieve them. 

• Mindset matters: Shifting from negative self-talk to positive self-talk is critical for progress; what you tell yourself shapes what you do. 

• Community support: Being part of a supportive group helps sustain motivation, celebrate wins, and maintain accountability. 

  
  

Resources and Links:  

More about Progressive Overload:  
Progressive overload is a principle that refers to increasing a stimulus over time. In strength training, these are: weight, reps, sets, time under tension, or combinations thereof.  

When we perform the same exercises with the same weight, rep, and set scheme, over time we see diminishing returns. Muscle and bone need to be challenged to produce changes. 

About Nicole:  

Nicole Wade is a Certified Personal Trainer, Pilates Instructor, and Nutritionist, with Master of Education and Master of Public Health degrees.  

With 20 years’ experience and a focus on women’s health, Nicole specializes in menopause fitness, osteoporosis wellness, and aligning goals with action. Nicole believes in the power of community fitness and creates effective and engaging fitness experiences tailored specifically for the unique needs of women 40 and up.  

Follow Nicole on Instagram at @heartnsoulbynicole  

Episode Description:

When technology is overwhelming for our parents (or even for us),patience, empathy, and the right kind of support can make all the difference. In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy Vines sits down with Kristin Thorp, founder and Executive Director of SDM Foundation501(c)(3) nonprofit focused on teaching how to use technology, to explore how her team empowers older adults to embrace technology without shame or frustration.

Kristin shares:

• Why doing it for someone often makes things worse, and why teaching with them creates real confidence
• How shame and language barriers hold people back, and how to break through them
• Why AI’s quick answers in a search can be misleading and part of the problem of creating fixes confidently
• How technology became a lifeline and required fast adoption and adaption during and since the pandemic, from grocery delivery to telehealth

• The reality for adult children who often become “tech support,” and how we can give ourselves grace when our patience runs thin

This conversation is a reminder that caregiving in the digital age isn’t just about fixing problems; it’s about restoring dignity, building independence, and remembering that patience often matters more than technical expertise. And it’s about creating more empathy for the senior who struggles and finding a fresh pathway to help.

Tune in to discover practical insights and inspiring stories that will change how you approach technology with your loved ones, and maybe even with yourself.

Resources And Mentions:

SDM Foundation: https://www.sdmfoundation.org/

SDM Foundation on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sdmfoundation

SDM Foundation Blog: https://www.sdmfoundation.org/blog/

SDM Foundation on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/sdmfoundation/

Donate to the 501(c)3: https://www.sdmfoundation.org/donations/

Episode Description:

The “Midlife Leap” series introduces women who have made big professional shifts in midlife. Their stories inspire new ways of thinking about what is possible in this stage of life!

In this episode, Sara Skillen shares her inspiring journey from exploring her own inner purpose to stepping in to own and lead the Coach Approach Training Institute (CATI). Sara talks about how spiritual reflection, professional readiness, and supportive mentors guided her decision to take the leap. She also dives into the core of proper training for coaches, the foundational Coaching Essentials program from CATI, and sharing how it helps both beginners and experienced professionals level up their coaching skills.

Whether you’re curious about coaching, thinking about a career pivot, or just seeking strategies to get“unstuck,” Sara’s story is a reminder that preparation, community, and bravery can align to create life-changing opportunities.

Topics Covered in This Episode:

• Recognizing when the timing is right for a big careershift
• The role of spiritual and inner work in her professional growth
• Collaboration, mentorship, and the power of asking for help
• Coaching Essentials: what it is, how it works, and why it’s a great starting point
• Strategies for getting unstuck and staying grounded
• How to recharge and create personal rituals for clarity and balance

Resources & Links:

Coaching Essentials course and registration (next 8-week cohort begins January 2026):

• https://coachapproachtraining.com/foundation-training/coaching-essentials/

• https://coachapproachtraining.com/

ExploreSara’s ADHD Coaching at SkillSet Coaching:

• https://skillsetcoaching.com/

Follow Sara on social media: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saraskillencoaches/

IG @skillsetcoaching and @coachapproachtraining

Sara’s book: Organizing and Big Scary Goals:

About the Guest:

Sara Skillen, PCC, COLC, CPO

Sara Skillen is a coach, mentor, and trainer passionate about helping others explore their purpose and potential. Sara is the Owner/Director of Education of Coach Approach Training Institute, and the founder of SkillSet Coaching in Nashville, TN.

A credentialed coach and Certified Professional Organizer®, she has been assisting with training student coaches through Coach Approach since 2019. She is the author of Organizing and Big Scary Goals and is a contributor to the Institute of Challenging Disorganization (ICD)’s recent book on chronic disorganization, writing the chapter focused on ADHD.

In addition to her teaching, client work, and writing, she continually studies the impact of awareness and inner work on creating holistic, real-life order. With this rich background in coaching, spiritual direction, education, and organizational expertise, Sara brings insight, empathy, and a collaborative spirit to her work and to this Surfing the Quicksand episode today.

Subscribe today!

@quicksandpod | Quicksandpod.com

In this solo episode of Surfing the Quicksand, host Kathy Vines pulls back the curtain on her career coaching and résumé writing practice, sharing how her work with Gen X and Elder Millennial clients has shaped her perspective on helping clients get unstuck. With over20 years in HR and more than a decade coaching midlife professionals, Kathy highlights the common career crossroads women face in their 40s and 50s, from suddenly needing to take charge of their career direction, to balancing work and family demands, to confronting age bias and the desire to scale back.

Through stories, patterns, and insights, Kathy reveals how clarity, storytelling, and self-advocacy are essential tools in navigating professional reinvention at any stage of midlife.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Phases of how career priorities often shift in our 40s and 50s.
• Why storytelling is at the heart of résumés, interviews, and career transitions.
• How Kathy’s passion for résumé writing and coaching helps clients discover their voice and advocate for their future.
• How this same talent in storytelling is the backbone of all the guest interviews for Surfing the Quicksand.

Resources & Mentions:

• Learn more about Kathy’s career coaching and résumé services: https://www.kathyvines.com

Parenting today’s tweens and teens is no small task, especially when executive function challenges, ADHD, and anxiety are in the mix. In this episode of Surfing the Quicksand, Kathy sits down with Leslie Josel, award-winning academic and parenting coach, to explore how parents can move from frustration and helplessness to practical tools that actually support their kids.

Leslie shares how the landscape of student coaching has shifted: once focused on time management and study skills, it now often involves navigating anxiety, overwhelm, and school systems that don’t always provide the right supports. She helps parents understand what it means to accept their child’s “executive age” (which may lag years behind their chronological age) and why recalibrating expectations is the first step to easing tension at home. Leslie highlights how critical intentional communication is at every step of the way.

This conversation is packed with strategies parents can use right away, including:

• How to set parameters while giving your child agency.
• Why structured choices reduceanxiety and increase motivation.
• The importance of letting kids experience safe discomfort and failure.

• How to shift your language from “you have to” to “you get to choose.”

• The role of micro-moment willpower in building lifelong resilience.

Leslie also introduces powerful communication tools, like WAIT (“Why Am I Talking?”), that help parents step back, listen, and guide instead of fixing. And she reminds us that resilience deserves recognition and that specific praise for kids’ small wins can have a lasting impact. If you’ve ever felt helpless, frustrated, or unsure how to support your child through the challenges of ADHD, executive dysfunction, or just the daily overwhelm of growing up, this episode offers both validation and hope.
Leslie Josel is an internationally recognized academic and parenting coach, the founder of Order Out of Chaos®and one of the most trusted voices on ADHD and executive functioning. For over 22 years, she’s helped parents, students, and professionals cut through the overwhelm and build the skills needed for success in school, at work and in life.

Leslie is an author of three acclaimed books including How to Do It Now Because It’s Not Going Away. She’s the creator of the award-winning Academic Planner: A Tool for Time Management®. She’s been named one of the Top 20 Time Management Experts in the World by Global Gurus for eight consecutive years. And for years, Leslie penned ADDitude Magazine’s beloved “Dear ADHD Family Coach®” column, where her real-talk advice helped families navigate the complexities of ADHD and executive functioning.

For years, A sought-after speaker, she presents globally, equipping audiences with practical, proven tools to thrive and today, she shares that experience and wisdom with the Surfing the Quicksand community.

Where to find Leslie:
Websites: Orderoochaos.com and LeslieJosel.com

Instagram: @order.out.of.chaos https://www.instagram.com/order.out.of.chaos/

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/orderoutofchaos

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/orderoutofchaos

ADDitude Magazine column about ADHD teens and driving referenced in the episode: https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-driving-teen-license-safety/

More about Executive Dysfunction and Executive Age:

https://www.additudemag.com/what-is-executive-function-disorder/