SW & LOVE

We're back! Season 4 opens with a juicy listener-requested topic: SITUATIONSHIPS (dun dun dunnn!). Join me and author Sesali Bowen to talk about the messiness that often comes with sexual/romantic relationships that lack labels (what are we??), as well as her incredible book, Bad Fat Black Girl: Notes from a Trap Feminist --which also happens to be our June Stripper's Guide Book Club read ;) 

• Follow Sesali on IG here, buy her book here, and listen to her pod here

Enjoy the show!
xo,
Leilah

Femmes, queer people, and women live in a global patriarchy that forces us to contend with misogyny in virtually every corner of our lives. This tips the scales of power out of our favor in the already-vulnerable worlds  of love, sex, and romance.  This Season 3 finale episode includes a live interview with Boston*-based rapper, Kiki Banks, as well as contributions from listeners, who share their own dating stories and remind us why the work of anti-misogyny is everyone's responsibility.

• Kiki's song, Headache (w/Kristie), is featured on my free breakup playlist, BLOCK THEM
• Watch my Archetype poetry video
• Follow A Stripper's Guide on Instagram
• Visit astrippersguide.com (newsletter, Toolkits, & private coaching)

*"Boston" is the Anglo colonizer word for Massa-adchu-es-et/Massachusett territory

According to Wikipedia, ghosting is "the practice of ending all communication and contact with another person without any apparent warning or justification and subsequently ignoring any attempts to reach out or communication made by said person." 
With about 10,000 different ways to send a message these days, how is it possible that so many of us still get ghosted by the people we date?

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I was interviewed by Cecilia Villero for her podcast, The Raw Bar. Cecilia is a Pleasure & Sexuality Educator and also a beautiful magical mermaid. Our conversation centers around why feminism must include sex workers, and how sex workers are, as they've always been, on the frontiers of radical feminism. This episode is bubbly and fun, and/but also contains descriptions of anti-femme and anti-Asian violence.

• Follow A Stripper's Guide on Instagram
• Follow Cecilia on Instagram
• Visit AStrippersGuide.com 

Both sex workers and fat people must contend with a mainstream culture that feels entitled to our bodies in a way that is violent, objectifying, and dehumanizing. I wanted to explore this connection because it’s an important overlap that allows us to very clearly examine root causes. In the second half of this 2-part episode, me and my guest, Erica Sosa, look at just some of the real world effects of discrimination against both sex workers and fat folks. Check out my accompanying blog post, “Decolonize Sexy”, for more!

• Follow A Stripper's Guide on Instagram
• Follow Erica Sosa on Instagram

A NOTE: Thank you to Erica, who, as my friend and client, has educated me directly and helped me find resources on anti-fat bias, including the Maintenance Phase Podcast and the work of fat activist Aubrey Gordon in general. Thank you also to my client Lauren Higgins, who has helped educate me as well. Thank you to my fat and formerly fat loved ones for your continued patience and grace as I learn how and where to raise my voice on behalf of fatness.

LISTENERS: Your feedback is always welcome! If you ever feel the need to check my skinny, white, very privileged ass, when it comes to body justice or any other topic, you are more than invited. I will receive your feedback with grace and I promise to take accountability for any harm I caused. You can contact me about that, or with sex worker in film recommendations, on Instagram, or email me at [email protected]

Both sex workers and fat people must contend with a mainstream culture that feels entitled to our bodies in a way that is violent, objectifying, and dehumanizing. I wanted to explore this connection because it’s an important overlap that allows us to very clearly examine root causes. In this 2-part episode, me and my guest, Erica Sosa, look at how media representations of both sex workers and fat folks reflects and perpetuates social stigma. Check out my accompanying blog post, “Decolonize Sexy”, for more!

• Follow A Stripper's Guide on Instagram
• Follow Erica Sosa on Instagram

A NOTE: Thank you to Erica, who, as my friend and client, has educated me directly and helped me find resources on anti-fat bias, including the Maintenance Phase Podcast and the work of fat activist Aubrey Gordon in general. Thank you also to my client Lauren Higgins, who has helped educate me as well. Thank you to my fat and formerly fat loved ones for your continued patience and grace as I learn how and where to raise my voice on behalf of fatness.

LISTENERS: Your feedback is always welcome! If you ever feel the need to check my skinny, white, very privileged ass, when it comes to body justice or any other topic, you are more than invited. I will receive your feedback with grace and I promise to take accountability for any harm I caused. You can contact me about that, or with sex worker in film recommendations, on Instagram, or email me at [email protected]

Many strippers know what it's like to be with a  romantic partner who becomes jealous and possessive about our jobs. Actually, unfortunately, this happens to femmes and women across every single labor sector, not just the sex industry. That's because the problem's not us or our jobs. The problem is misogyny. 

The phrase “daddy issues” often gets thrown around as a joke or a meme. Maybe it rubs you the wrong way, and maybe you can’t even explain why. If that sounds familiar, allow me and my guest, Tanesha (Fecund Maiden), to help you put your finger on! Join us for this deep-dish analysis of the early 2000s B-rate movie classic, Coyote Ugly, to unearth the issue with daddy issues.  (You do not have to have seen this film to enjoy this episode!)
 

• Read The Daddy Issue blog post here
• Follow A Stripper's Guide on Instagram here 
• Follow Tanesha on Instagram here

Wanna be featured on the pod?
I’m searching for stories from femmes/non-binary folks and women who have had the following type of experience: A masculine or male romantic partner getting jealous, possessive, or controlling about how you look, dress, or behave at your place of work.

How to participate:

• Record a 5(ish)-minute voicenote about your experience 
• In the voicenote, introduce yourself (you can use a fake name if you prefer!)
• Be sure to also include what your job was during the time you experienced a partner's controlling/possessive behavior
• Send your submission or any questions to [email protected] no later than February 28, 2022!

This invitation is open to people in all industries, including, but not limited to, the sex industry. 

Do your love affairs feel like emotional roller coasters? Do you feel like you have to hide parts of yourself to please your partner(s)? Do you know you need to cut someone out of your life, but always seem to find excuses to let them back in? Then tune in. This is a recording of a real Breakup Coaching session between me and my client, Genie. Genie is a fabulous, independent femme who is ready to leave her 5-year toxic relationship behind (for real) and embrace her full, complex, glorious self. She called on me for some accountability and support because breakups are fucking hard!

Toolkits from A Stripper's Guide each include an activity workbook, a ritual, and a guided meditation. The current Toolkits include:
- Life After Cheating  (for infidelity recovery)
- Boundaries Like a Stripper  (for protecting your soft, fierce heart)
- Confidence (for embracing your boldest self)
Click here for yours!

Follow A Stripper's Guide on Instagram here
Click here for A Stripper's Guide Blog

Cera Byer of Intuitive Edge Coaching joins me for a thorough exploration of infidelity--part 2! We talk about why people cheat and some signs to look for, but most of this episode is focused on survivors of infidelity, like us. Cheating can be physical, sure. But it can also be emotional, and even digital. If you've been cheated on, or feel like you've been cheated on, this episode's for you. Go back and listen to Part 1 for the whole experience!

Life After Cheating
Need some support in your infidelity recovery? I created this Life After Cheating Toolkit just for you. Included in this offering: a self-growth activity book, a ritual, and a guided meditation.

• The other Toolkits in this series include: Boundaries Like a Stripperand Confidence
• Toolkit Trio -- get all three Toolkits and save 25%!

Follow A Stripper's Guide on Instagram here
Click here for A Stripper's Guide Blog & Podcast homepage