Table Reads

It's the shocking finale of The Crow 3: Resurrection (of the 80s)! That's right, the late-90s homage to the best of 80s Cop Action Flicks Wrapped in a Crow Premise finally wraps up as we discover the secret of the bad guy's plot, establish The Crow in the familiar face-painted guise we're familiar with and find out what the hell the creature in that box is! 

HAHA, JUST KIDDING. Literally none of those things happen (Spoiler). All that we really learn is that you can cobble together a sequel to a movie that you don't understand, fill it with tropes and clichés from a dated and dead genre and ignore any semblance of a coherent story and 25 years later, some assholes will mock it on a podcast! 

We truly hope you enjoy this last part of The Crow 3: Die Really Hard. Do yourself a solid and subscribe! And if we're not available to subscribe to on your favorite platform, send us an email at [email protected] and we'll make it happen.

You can also follow us on Twitter: @TheTableReads

It's the shocking finale of The Crow 3: Resurrection (of the 80s)! That's right, the late-90s homage to the best of 80s Cop Action Flicks Wrapped in a Crow Premise finally wraps up as we discover the secret of the bad guy's plot, establish The Crow in the familiar face-painted guise we're familiar with and find out what the hell the creature in that box is! 

HAHA, JUST KIDDING. Literally none of those things happen (Spoiler). All that we really learn is that you can cobble together a sequel to a movie that you don't understand, fill it with tropes and clichés from a dated and dead genre and ignore any semblance of a coherent story and 25 years later, some assholes will mock it on a podcast! 

We truly hope you enjoy this last part of The Crow 3: Die Really Hard. Do yourself a solid and subscribe! And if we're not available to subscribe to on your favorite platform, send us an email at [email protected] and we'll make it happen.

You can also follow us on Twitter: @TheTableReads

Kato and his partner Sarah are finally reunited, but Kato is promptly taken away by men in white coats because no one believes that he's part of a secret government agency under the direct purview of the president. 

Also, Lacking a Danny or a Kelly for the girl roles, Shawn attempts to read Sarah as Jim Gaffigan's "audience thought" voice for the entire script. 

Will Kato convince his partner that he's a super secret agent? Will we ever see some Crow-style makeup? Will this script ever begin to make any amount of sense?? To find out, Listen and Subscribe!!

Kato and his partner Sarah are finally reunited, but Kato is promptly taken away by men in white coats because no one believes that he's part of a secret government agency under the direct purview of the president. 

Also, Lacking a Danny or a Kelly for the girl roles, Shawn attempts to read Sarah as Jim Gaffigan's "audience thought" voice for the entire script. 

Will Kato convince his partner that he's a super secret agent? Will we ever see some Crow-style makeup? Will this script ever begin to make any amount of sense?? To find out, Listen and Subscribe!!

We're a little late posting this morning because, while everyone was worried about a writer's strike causing a stoppage of quality content, WE were up all night following the news because we were worried we'd lose the awful garbage that keeps us sustained. 

Speaking of which: It's time for part 4 of The Crow 3: Resurrection! Now that our hero has finally started some post-near-death badassery (aka, dick-ripping), surely this script will get into more familiar Crow territory and become the neo-gothic, angsty action vengeance flick we've been waiting for, right? Right? 

Spoiler: No.

Once again, Trevor and Shawn are joined on this adventure by their old friend Jimie Williams (seriously, he has grandkids). Unfortunately, Danny had a scheduling conflict and was unable to join us, so we all had to split the voicing duties to his characters. Needless to say, we wish he'd been there.

Oh, and hey, if you're listening to this on a platform with some sort of button that says something along the lines of "Subscribe," go ahead and click that button. See what it does. I've always been curious.

We're a little late posting this morning because, while everyone was worried about a writer's strike causing a stoppage of quality content, WE were up all night following the news because we were worried we'd lose the awful garbage that keeps us sustained. 

Speaking of which: It's time for part 4 of The Crow 3: Resurrection! Now that our hero has finally started some post-near-death badassery (aka, dick-ripping), surely this script will get into more familiar Crow territory and become the neo-gothic, angsty action vengeance flick we've been waiting for, right? Right? 

Spoiler: No.

Once again, Trevor and Shawn are joined on this adventure by their old friend Jimie Williams (seriously, he has grandkids). Unfortunately, Danny had a scheduling conflict and was unable to join us, so we all had to split the voicing duties to his characters. Needless to say, we wish he'd been there.

Oh, and hey, if you're listening to this on a platform with some sort of button that says something along the lines of "Subscribe," go ahead and click that button. See what it does. I've always been curious.

The Crow 3: Die Hard and then Come Back for Revenge continues onto part three! Kato, still in a drooly, catatonic state, drools some more! The bad guys have a bad drug and a mysterious creature in a mysterious box! There are JUNKIES! And a mean HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATOR! 

Will our hero manage to persevere over all these odds? Does he have enough drool to save himself and the ones he loves? Does anything remotely Crow-like even happen in this Crow Sequel? 

LISTEN AND FIND OUT! THEN SUBSCRIBE!

The Crow 3: Die Hard and then Come Back for Revenge continues onto part three! Kato, still in a drooly, catatonic state, drools some more! The bad guys have a bad drug and a mysterious creature in a mysterious box! There are JUNKIES! And a mean HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATOR! 

Will our hero manage to persevere over all these odds? Does he have enough drool to save himself and the ones he loves? Does anything remotely Crow-like even happen in this Crow Sequel? 

LISTEN AND FIND OUT! THEN SUBSCRIBE!

In honor of Easter, which was mere days ago, we continue reading The Crow 3: Resurrection (because, get it, Easter... Resurrection..?)!

In Part 2, things pick up! There's more than one scene, for one thing... That's right, there are wedding bells, interrupted by gunfire -- because why not keep checking off the cliches?? -- the events that will lead to our hero becoming the Crow finally come to pass... but apparently, that Crow is taking a long goddamn time to make its way to him. 

This episode features Jimie Williams and Danny Gorbachov helping to round out the cast and take some of the load off of Trevor and Shawn. Enjoy! And don't forget to subscribe!

In honor of Easter, which was mere days ago, we continue reading The Crow 3: Resurrection (because, get it, Easter... Resurrection..?)!

In Part 2, things pick up! There's more than one scene, for one thing... That's right, there are wedding bells, interrupted by gunfire -- because why not keep checking off the cliches?? -- the events that will lead to our hero becoming the Crow finally come to pass... but apparently, that Crow is taking a long goddamn time to make its way to him. 

This episode features Jimie Williams and Danny Gorbachov helping to round out the cast and take some of the load off of Trevor and Shawn. Enjoy! And don't forget to subscribe!