What should a man aspire to? 

We recently toured the Billy Graham Library. Near the end of his life, Billy Graham realized he had reached the whole world but still wished he'd given more of himself to his own family. That stayed with MJ. 

In this episode he unpacks what it means to be a high agency father: a man who decides his family gets his best, even when good and worthy things are pulling for it everywhere else. Whether you're a dad, a mom, or building toward a family you haven't started yet, you'll walk away weighing where your best energy is really going, and what it looks like to aim more of it at the people God has set right in front of you.

Resources:

Article: https://jeremypryor.substack.com/p/become-a-high-agency-father

Quote: “Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.” - G. Michael Hopf, Those Who Remain

Continue the conversation:

→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 146 — Seeking the Sacred Work of Ordinary Days, What if Ordinary is the Point? — If this episode has you rethinking where your best belongs, 146 makes the quiet case that the long, messy days with little kids are exactly where it counts.

New drop every Monday. If this one helped, pass it along to help someone else or leave us a review. It’s the best way to help more people see their underscore, too.

Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com

📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we give the field notes version of the things we’re learning at the table so we can recalibrate what we mean to do with what actually shows up. [Let me into The Greenroom]

✉️ Something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → [email protected]. We always enjoy hearing from you.

Every couple has that one thing from the past that keeps coming back into the present. 

For us, it surfaced right as we were getting ready to host family, with little margin left. If you've ever felt the past flare up right when life is already full, this episode meets you there. You'll watch us catch the spiral, name what's really underneath it, and find our way back. And you'll walk away with a clearer sense of how to get back on the same page faster the next time pressure hits.

Continue the conversation:

→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 172 — How to Communicate When Life is Stressful — If this one resonated, ep. 172 goes back to what keeps you steady and on the same team when stress becomes the season you're living in.

New drop every Monday. If this one helped, pass it along to help someone else or leave us a review. It’s the best way to help more people see their underscore, too.

Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com

📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we give the field notes version of the things we’re learning at the table so we can recalibrate what we mean to do with what actually shows up. [Let me into The Greenroom]

✉️ Something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → [email protected]. We always enjoy hearing from you.

What if the pushback is the point?

Resources:

Continue the conversation:

New drop every Monday. If this one helped, pass it along to help someone else or leave us a review. It’s the best way to help more people see their underscore, too.

Some days are for laying bricks. Others are for making sure you’re not tearing down the walls.

Resources:

Continue the conversation:

New drop every Monday. If this one helped, pass it along to help someone else or leave us a review. It’s the best way to help more people see their underscore, too.

Most family stress doesn't come from the big moments. It shows up in the ordinary transition moments nobody has a clear plan for.

In this episode, we get honest about the 4 daily transitions that were derailing our family life. Not because our kids were misbehaving, but because the expectations were never actually taught. They were just repeated. Every. Single. Day.

We talk about what was missing, the visual system we built to close the gap, and how our kids have risen to the responsibility of running their own routines and looking out for each other.

You'll walk away with:

The Daily Rhythm Charts: Family Bundle -includes editable visual routine charts for ages 2–10 to help your kids take ownership of daily routines.

Grab your free printable bundle and watch your kids rise to it.

→ Daily Rhythm Charts: Family Bundle

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Continue the conversation:

→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 170 — The Thing About Our Family that Others Notice — If transitions are the gap, this episode talks about where setting the foundation starts.

Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.

New drop every Monday. If this one helped, share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people.

Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com

📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on the frameworks we're testing, the gaps we've found, and the questions we can't stop thinking about. So you can see your own gaps more clearly. [Let me into The Greenroom]

✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → [email protected]

The hard part isn't the fight. It's figuring out what the fight is actually about.

In this episode, we talk about what happens when an old pain gets bumped and the reaction that comes out has nothing to do with the person standing in front of you.

You'll Walk Away With

Why some reactions feel bigger than the moment and what that might be telling you.

What it looked like when this showed up for us and why it's hard to trace in real time.

A question to ask before you respond that changes the whole direction of the conversation.

Continue the conversation:

→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 100: How Adoption Changed Me — If this one resonated, that one goes deeper as Ash unpacks how this can show up in parenthood, too.

Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.

New drop every Monday. If this one helped, share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people.

Stay connected: 🌐 The Honest Underscore

📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on the frameworks we're testing, the gaps we've found, and the questions we can't stop thinking about. So you can see your own gaps more clearly. [Let me into The Greenroom]

✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → [email protected]

Spoiler: physical touch doesn't mean what you think it does.

In this episode, we talk about the breakdown that happens when we try to love each other well but are speaking different languages.

You'll walk away with:

Why it’s easy to default to your own love language even when you know better

The real moment this showed up for us and how we worked through it

One thing to say when you can feel the conversation starting to go sideways

Continue the conversation:

→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 154 — Controlling the Controllables and a Shortcut to Real Connection — Once you know the language, this one is about what happens when you're too exhausted to speak it.

Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.

New episodes every Monday. If this one helped, share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people.

Stay connected: 🌐 The Honest Underscore

📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain with one coaching insight, one lesson worth passing on, and one question to sit with. [Let me into The Greenroom]

✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → [email protected]

Have you ever meant well and still missed the mark?

You didn't need a solution. You needed someone to listen and somehow that got lost.

In this episode, we dig into one of the most common friction points in any close relationship: the moment one person needs to be heard and the other instinctively tries to help. It's not a communication problem. It's a mismatch in expectations. And one small question can change everything.

You'll Walk Away With

Continue the conversation:

→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 169 — It's Not What You Say, it's How You Say It — Once you know what kind of conversation you're in, this one picks up from there on tone, timing, and why the same words can land completely differently.

Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.

New episodes every Monday. If this one helped you — share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people.

Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com

📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on our process with one coaching insight, one lesson worth passing on, one question worth sitting with. Our job — help move your next step from uncertain to clear. [Let me into The Greenroom]

✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → [email protected]

It started with MJ saying we need to take more risks as a family and somehow that turned into tent camping with a baby.

In this episode, we talk about why having strong rhythms isn't just about running a tight ship; it's what gives you the freedom to shake things up, try something hard, and actually recover from it. Plus, it’s a practical way we're teaching our kids to take measured risks.

You'll walk away with:

Resources Referenced:

Continue the conversation:

→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 133 — The Legacy We Hope to Build, Not Raising Entitled Kids — if raising kids who embrace hard things resonates, this one goes deeper into the legacy we’re trying to build.

Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.

New episodes every Monday. If this one helped you, share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people.

Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com

📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on our process with one coaching insight, one lesson worth passing on, one question worth sitting with. Our job — help move your next step from uncertain to clear. [Let me into The Greenroom]

✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → [email protected]

Good intentions don’t automatically create the outcome you hope for.

MJ tried to give Ash a break but the rest didn't actually restore. In this episode we unpack why good intentions miss when people recharge differently, and the real difference between rest and restoration.

You'll walk away with:

Continue the conversation:

→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 12 — The Sabbath: Our Foundational Rhythm— if this episode stirred something in you about rest, this is where we share the rhythm that's anchored our family for years.

Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.

New episodes every Monday. If this one helped you — share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people.

Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com

📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on our process with one coaching insight, one lesson worth passing on, one question worth sitting with. Our job — help move your next step from uncertain to clear. [Let me into The Greenroom]

✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → [email protected]