Tactical Living

Ashlie: (00:18)

Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by LEO Warriors. I'm your host Ashlie Walton, and today I am joined by a very special guest named Melissa Watson. Melissa, how are you?

Melissa:

I'm doing well, thank you. How are you doing?

Ashlie:

I'm good. Thank you for asking. Thank you for joining me today. You're taking the seat of Clint who is currently outside throwing around my nephew in the pool. I appreciate you coming on, Melissa, and the reason that I invited you onto our show was because you have such a rich history as it pertains to your family experience and relationships with law enforcement.

You also hold a story of what I believe to be an incredible hero who was lost and Iraqi Freedom. You are probably one of the only people that I know personally that has lost 145 pounds. I just blows my mind and you've even survived what I believe is an incredibly physically abusive relationship in your past and getting even deeper than that. You shared with me that there's a layer to your story, which involves you being married to a man adopting two children and then later finding out that that wasn't his path and having to let go of those kids.

Melissa:

Yes, that is all correct. Ashlie: (01:38)

That's a lot, and it's even heavy for me even saying that and recounting that, and it's not my story. The whole purpose for the listener is for us to just be able to give a space to really show the transformation of how much strength a woman can have and how going through the journey of some of the most difficult elements of life could really transpire into something beautiful.

Which I believe is what led you to meet Kevin, who you're with right now. And we'll get to that in a second. Melissa, I just wonder if you could just take us back. I know you're 38 years old, can we go back to that space where you're 21 and you're just getting into a relationship with somebody who you would have never imagined, would have turned out the way that you would thought?

Melissa:

Um, okay, so it's 21. I met Miguel and we had a pretty good relationship and then he just started turning violent. Melissa: (02:46)

I mean, the first time he was, he was violent with me was, when he told me he didn't ask me, he just literally ordered me to give him his glass of water, which was right next to him. And I was on the other side and I said, it's right next to you. Why don't you get it? And he turned around and he just slapped me and he said, if I tell you to do something, you do it. The breaking point was one night he was sitting on his doorstep. I was with him, I had my best friend with me and he was, for lack of better words, cleaning his weed. I just flat out told him, if you cared about me half as much as you cared about your weed, we'd have a better relationship.

He put everything down, he got up and He told me to stand up and I thought he was going to hug me and he punched me in the face. He knocked me down, he started kicking me and I thought I was going to die. I was in so much pain and I heard the, the unmistakable sound of a gun, you know the clicking, it was being cocked and I thought, this is it. I'm going to die. And it was my best friend. And he told, him that if you touch her one more time and I'll blow your head off.

Miguel said, go ahead and do it. I don't fucking care. My best friend said, you know what? She's more important than you. He picked me up, put me in his car, and he took me to the hospital. Surprisingly, regardless of what I told everybody in the Er, they were like, did you fall? Did you do this? And I said, no, my boyfriend did this to me.

I ended up having a concussion. I had two broken ribs. One of them was slightly fractured and law enforcement surprisingly didn't do anything. After that I did not see Miguel again. I stayed away from him and I just, I tried to live my life as much as I could.

On the dreadful day of September 11th, he showed up at my house and he basically just put me against the wall and he tried to choke me and I had one of my friends on the phone and I said, you need to get here, get here now. I had called 911, and they said, because of what's going on right now, we can't send anybody over there. So my friends showed up, he took off and I went to stay with my friends. He didn't know where they live so he couldn't find me. But from what my parents say, he kept going to the house looking for me. Melissa: (06:08)

After that, I just did my best to stay away from him. He finally forgot about me. His family did too, so I was okay. I was good, he did kind of stick with me a little bit. If I went out on a date, he knew about it, but after a while he just, he let me go and I found out a few years ago, he is now a registered sex offender. He tried to forcibly rape somebody and was abusive so they filed battery charges on him and rape charges and now he is his sex offender and I couldn't be happier about that because he has reported every year. And that means hopefully everybody else is safe from him now. Ashlie: (07:14)

Melissa, I can tell the emotion as you're recounting this story and I couldn't agree with you more in knowing that at least when we have this title on somebody, as disgusting as it sounds like Miguel was. At least when they're in the system, they're traceable, they're trackable, he has to check in. There's something consistent about his whereabouts at all times. There's limitations on those things. I wonder if you could just share with the listener how it felt when you found out that he was registered in this system and at least there was some sort of container surrounding him in what he could potentially do to you or somebody else. Melissa: (08:06)

I was relieved because he can be traced. You can be watched, but at the same time, some what I know about him and what I've learned as far as, you know, studying criminal justice, it can still happen and victims are likely to stay silent because they're just afraid. They're afraid he's going to come back. Me being a victim of him, I was very open about it, but nobody did anything and that really, really hurt. But knowing that he is registered now and he has to check in, it doesn't mean he can't hurt anybody, but hopefully it has just calmed him in a sense and he's not going to do it. But I do, I do hope that he doesn't because nobody needs to go through that. Nobody. Ashlie: (09:23)

Yeah, absolutely. Melissa, what are some recommendations that you would have for anybody else? Being a man, a man, or a woman in a potentially physically abusive relationship who maybe feel like they are alone and don't have that courage to, voice what's really happening. Melissa: (09:45)

The best thing I can say is find your strength and get out and know it's hard. I put up with it for over a year. There are so many resources out there. You are saved as soon as you reach out, you are saved. Law enforcement will help, hopefully you have people as a support circle that will help you just like I did. Melissa: (10:16)

But the best thing to do is just get out because your life is infinitely more valuable than a relationship with somebody who is willing to hurt you. Ashlie: (10:28)

That speaks right to the center of my chest because I think that a lot of people are still living in these homes and in these relationships. So silently because of that fear. And I think that message of just knowing that they're worth it and more important and to just get out is the best advice that somebody who has experienced this before will give. So I thank you for sharing that. Melissa: (10:52)

No, definitely. I mean it was, it was hard for me, but knowing that I had my friends, I could definitely get out of it and it took a while, but at some point you realize your life is, worth it. The relationship is not, you know, if you have kids, if you're just dating, it's, it's not worth it to go through the pain. You can save your kids, you can save yourself. I mean, if I could, I'd reach out to everybody that's in that relationship and let them talk to me, let me help them. But I know there's so many relationships that are abusive, whether it's a husband, a boyfriend, a wife, a girlfriend, it's difficult to reach out. Ashlie: (11:45)

Yeah, for sure. So at that time, when, when you were healing or, or at least starting to walk away from history with Miguel and growing away from that and building your independence as a young woman in your young twenties take us to that point where you came across private first-class Sean Tharp, what was that like? What was that interaction like? When that friendship first happened. Melissa: (12:11)

That was back when AOL was a big thing. Ashlie: (12:17)

Right. For you as you listen is if you do not know what AOL is, that makes both Melissa and I undoubtedly feel way older than we are, but all in all it was an instant messaging service. Very comparable to what those young kids today would compare to Facebook messenger. Melissa: (12:35)

Yes. And he chimed in on somebody just being stupid on the Messenger. And I said, why don't you, you know, private message me? And he said, okay. And we just kind of started our friendship and I will never forget his handle for all. It's Merv engineer, M E R V engineer. I asked him about that and he was telling me about all this military stuff. He was, he was really into military.

His mom and dad were a retired military and man we just, we clicked, we became friends and there was so many times where we would spend hours on the phone, you know, just talking and laughing or he would share any kind of grief he was having. I would share it with him, what I was going through. We just knew that we were soulmates. He was undoubtedly the best friend I could ever have. Melissa: (13:47)

He told me he wanted to enlist in the army and I told him, I said, considering what you've gone through, what you've done to yourself, I don't know if they'll take you, but I, you know, if that's what you want to do, then you know, I support you and then he called me one day. He said he spoke to a recruiting officer and he enlisted in the army and I felt just so down deep inside my soul that I was going to lose him.

I told him, I said, if that's what you want to do, then I support you but, you need to come back home. And he went through his training. He, he did AIT, he wrote to me from basic training through AIT. I have his last letter he sent me. Then he told me when he was being deployed and he deployed in February of 2006 and he would call me and his mom every other day. Melissa: (15:02)

He would spend about 15 minutes on the phone with me and 45 minutes with his mom. The last time I talked to him, he spent 30 minutes on the phone with me and I said, you need to call your mom. And he said, no, I want to spend some time talking to you. He told me a few days before that he almost got blown up and I said, I don't want to hear that, please. And he said, it's just, it's crazy out here.

What's going on and at the end of our phone call, I told him, I hope you know me and your mom are very proud of you and I want you to know that I love you. And he said, I love you too, Melissa. And I said, you just be safe. Please come back home. And he basically said the same thing to his mom. A few days later he was shot by an insurgent and somebody from his unit told me, "I'm sorry," and a fellow soldier told me that he held Sean while he was lying there and he told this soldier, please tell my mom I love her and I'm sorry. And tell Melissa I'm coming home, but not alive. And they had just sent out, Melissa: (16:58)

I just sent a care package to him and a couple of weeks after he was shot, it came back to me. I still have the letter I put in there and it just, it killed me. I reached out to his mom and she said that all he ever did was talk about me and how much I meant to him. And his mom's pretty much become like another mother to me and we just, we have this bond. It was because of Sean. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss him. He, was this huge light in my life. And one of the favorite things that I remember about him, I told him I had, you know, a couple of guys that were, you know, kind of hitting on me and flirting with me. And he told me, I don't get why they want you. Melissa: (18:10)

You're not like a supermodel or anything. And I hung up on him and he called me back and I said, what do you want? And he just started talking about like the Russian military, the German military, and that was his way of apologizing and that's something, you know, I will take with me forever because that's his way of apologizing. It just, it makes me laugh now. But then I was really mad at him and every year, memorial day and his birthday, I have a milkshake for him. His favorite was strawberry, but I can't do strawberries. So I do chocolate and I call his mom and we just, we just share our times, our times with Sean. He was, he was such an amazing, amazing man and we had this really deep connection. Melissa: (19:14)

One of the last things he told me was I will always be with you and I will always protect you. And after he was shot, I remember being in my room at my parents' house and I was crying and it looked like he was standing right there. He was just leaning against the wall. And I know he is with me there so many times. I just talked to him like I'm, for lack of better words, like I talked to the stars and I know he's there and it never fails. Whether it's summer, spring, fall, winter, there's always this green humming bird... I mean, this bird has been showing up since I lost him. Melissa: (20:23)

I know it's him. I miss him so much. One of the things, sadness about him was just him being stoic, just so proud of what he was, but being very open with me about his depression. He was going through so much and important to me to always be there for him. And in turn, he's always there for me, even though he's not, he's not here physically, but I know he's here. He's with me. So many times I've just reached out to him and telling him, please help me. And somehow I find the strength, I find happiness. I find just a comfort with whatever's going on. Melissa: (21:37)

I just, I don't know, I will always love him. Yeah. And I know he will always love his mom. He will always love me. No, he was, he is. He is my hero and he is my soul mate. He's my best friend and I am so grateful that just by chance we met. you use so man some so strong just to get through what he went through fighting these demons and confided in me about his demons. Just being able to do what he did to enlist in the army, do what he wanted to do. He told me he was, you know, the fastest in the mile in his unit in basic training and he wanted to go to training for a paratrooper, but he got deployed and he was so close to home. He was, in Fort Hood and I wanted to see him. I wanted to go there and just, you know, see him one last time because I knew he wasn't going to come home and it's just, I don't know. He's my, he will always be my soul mate. There's no doubt about it and I will always love him. Ashlie: (23:27)

Melissa, as you share this, the amount of strength that it's taking me to hold back my emotion does not even compare it to the amount of strength that it took for you to share everything that you just shared with us. Ashlie: (23:45)

I thank you for that. As you listen, if we could just pause for a moment, pause for a moment to realize all of the gifts that we are given on a daily basis based on the sacrifice, the sacrifice of heroes like private first class, Sean Tharpe, the sacrifice of friends, of mothers, of fathers and siblings. Melissa, I am so grateful and proud of you for sharing that story, but I am so honored to be able to showcase a story like Sean's and I hope that you can share a message with his mom, his family, and just let them know how proud we are to live in a country that we do. To know that there are people that are just like Sean that are Sean, that have lost their lives, defending our freedom, Melissa: (24:53)

His mom, knows we talk often and she always tells me, thank you for keeping this memory of life, but I wouldn't do it any other way. I was asked once, if you could go back and do it all over would you have any friends that you have enlisted? In a heartbeat. We weren't meant to know each other and there were so many times we both, we literally saved each other's lives and his mom, like I said, she's another mother to me. She was at my wedding. We had a little table set aside just for Sean. It was the fallen soldiers table and there's photos of us just standing there hugging each other crying because we miss him so much. He's such a huge part of my life, even though it was just a moment in the grand scheme of things because he's such a huge part of my life. She knows that he brought me and his mom together and we, we do rely on each other. Sometimes it gets hard and we just reach out and we're there. We're there for each other. Ashlie: (26:41)

It's a beautiful misery to see what a special relationship came from something so tragic. And again, private first class, Sean Tharpe died in Iraqi Freedom on March 28th, 2006 and we are forever in his debt for his service and his loss of life. Well Melissa I know how heavy this is and if, if you want to stop here, I'm fine with that too. But if not, and if you want to continue forward a little bit past everything that had transpired in 2006 and your move to Sacramento and what had taken place when you started to uncover those emotions and try to move on after the death of Sean Melissa: (27:43)

I'm totally okay with moving forward. After I was notified about Sean's death, my really close friend who was like a sister to me, I called her and I told her. She came up to my house, I was absolutely in no state to drive. And she picked me up and she just let me cry. I don't think, I don't think I will ever heal because that's just, that's a wound that somebody can't heal from. You know, you're, losing your best friend. His mother lost her oldest son, her only child. It's a wound you don't heal from, but you just, you just kind of put a band aid over it that you carry it you're your life. A few months after his passing, I got engaged to a truck driver, which was not a smart move on my part, but I think I was just trying to get over the loss. This person, this man, I don't even want to call him a man because he's not, he apparently had a bunch of girlfriends along his route, you know, throughout Texas, Alabama and California. And he was engaged to I think seven other women. Melissa: (29:43)

He drained my bank account. He left me with $24 and 17 cents. I never heard from him again after that. I was done. I was done with where I lived. I was done with dealing with people who were toxic. I contacted my then friend and I said, I need to move. And she told me to move to Sacramento, you can live with me Melissa: (30:21)

She said to just pay me 300 a month for rent. I said, okay, I'll do it. Just give me a month to tie up loose ends here. Much later. It was the end of September. Melissa: (30:39)

I packed up my car, put my cat in the car and I made my journey to Sacramento and I started my new life. Melissa: (30:58)

Shortly after that I met my ex-husband. At the time he, he courted me. He just swept me off my feet. In 2009 I moved in with him. Our relationship just took off from there and he proposed to me in front of my grandparents. He asked my grandfather for his permission. He wanted my grandfather if it was ok for him to propose me. When he proposed to me, I was just beside myself. I was crying and I said yes. And my grandparents were so happy. Probably about a year, year and a half later is when we got married. Melissa: (32:11)

Looking back at the wedding, I honestly regret it. I don't have many regrets in my life that I regret marrying him. We found out about six to eight months after the wedding that I wasn't able to conceive children. So we started the adoption process and he would go back and forth. He was like, I don't want to do it. Let's do it. I don't want to do it. The third time he said, okay, let's, let's go through with everything. I told him flat out, if you change your mind again, I'm leaving. You can't keep playing with my heart. You can't keep, you know, being a puppet master. I'm not going to put up with it. He told me no, he was sure he wanted to have a kid. He wanted to be a dad and it took about a year. We went through the whole adoption process. They do background checks, they do inspections of the home, they do interviews, they ask like really deep personal questions. Melissa: (33:42)

It was in November, we got called, they told us they had a brother and sister or another child and they wanted us to choose the other child. It's that that kid's family was kind of vying for custody of him. We went through the history of the two kids that we ended up deciding on and it took a couple of weeks and we just, you know, we debated, do we want these kids who comes from an abusive home? I mean she was five years old taking care of an infant in. We just stated. Yes. That's, usually the kids we went and we were told, you need to get down here or I'm sorry, you need to get up here to where they're at and you're going to take them home. And it was just like such a quick, just, I don't know is, it was almost weird, but we had to drive up to northern California, to pretty much the state line between Oregon and California. Speaker 5: (35:17) We met these two beautiful kids. They were staying with their aunt and she told us, you know, he's nonverbal, he's violent, he does this, you can't take them out into public. And I refused to believe that, you know, we met these beautiful kids and they look just like us and we took them out to go eat. We spent time with them. We took them to the beach and they were just, they were perfect, perfect angels. And we brought them home and they got to meet my mother. They've got to meet my ex husband's stepmother. Melissa: (36:13)

Within a month we had the little boy talking. He was, you know, just extremely verbal. And he would tell us everything from what he wanted to eat, to what he wanted to watch. We were told that he would not be potty trained until he was six, if that, if we were lucky within a few months he was potty trained. We had to take we had to take him in to be tested as far as his mentality goes. And they scored him in the 98th percentile that he was extremely smart and his sister would help me with him. She would teach him the alphabet, how to read numbers, and both of them were extremely smart and I just, I love to be with them. They both had their emotional issues from what they had been through, but they were my kids there, my son and daughter. And when it came time to officially adopt them, I asked her, what do you want your name to be? Melissa: (37:46)

She had been watching Grey's anatomy with me and she said, that lady is so pretty. I like her name. And she was talking about Addison and I said, well that can be her middle name, baby girl. And she said, I like that. So we, you know, we had filled out the paperwork, we were weeks away, two or three weeks from going to court to make it a hundred percent official. And I came home from the gym, it was the day before my birthday and my ex-husband said I needed to talk to you. And I thought the kids had done something because whenever they were alone with him, they apparently always acted up, never listened. And I said, what happened? And he told them to go to their rooms and watch TV and close their doors. And I thought, oh my gosh, they had to have done something really bad. And he looked me dead in the eyes and he said, I can't do this. I don't want to be a father. I never have and I never will. You need to contact the adoption agency and get rid of the kids. And it just shattered me. Melissa: (39:29)

I hated him after that. Melissa: (39:34)

I was berated and accused and yelled at by the adoption agency when we had our meeting with them after he said that it really hurt. They do not find fault in him, but they questioned me. They said, if your marriage was so bad, if he didn't want this, why did you do this? And they just, they, they accused me and I told them I love these kids. If I could, I would keep them. I would walk away from him if I could support them, but I couldn't because he would not let me work. And they asked if divorce was an option and before I could say anything, he said, no it's not. And I looked at our case worker and her boss and I said, it's on the table and they asked if I would be able to support the kids and I said, I can't, not alone. Melissa: (40:53)

Eight days later, okay. They were there to pick up the kids and they moved them to Redding with another foster family who ended up adopting them the night before they picked them up, they were over to explain to them what was happening. My little girl, she came into the den and she said, Mommy, can I ask you guys a question? And my ex got up and left the room and I said, of course you can ask me anything. And she said, why don't you love us? And I fell apart and I hugged her and I said, I do. I do love you guys. Melissa: (41:49)

For her being so young to look me in the eyes and tell me, why don't you divorce him and keep us, that just, that broke my heart. You know, she was crying, I was crying, her brother was crying and I hugged them and I said, I love you guys and if I could, I would keep you guys. I will always be your mommy. I will always be there for you. And I'm sorry this is happening. Then both of them looked at me and they said, we hate him and all I could do is hug them and I love those kids and I miss them, but I know they're in a better place. They're with a family that's going to take care of them. I know they're happier because the fact that my ex was jealous of the attention I gave them there's no way they would've had a happy home with us and for him to tell me that he didn't like that I was paying more attention to them than him and for him to tell me a month later if they had been our children, if you had given birth to them, it would have been different. Melissa: (43:36)

That's what I knew I was officially in. Totally done. Melissa: (43:42)

I was done with him. I could not be married to a man who was that narcissistic that he would get jealous over a mother's love for her children and things went downhill really quickly. From there. He got even more so emotionally abusive. He would get basically to the point where he was about to be physically abusive, but because of what his job is, he wouldn't do that. He would back me into corners and yell at me. He would slam his fist on the counters. He would, he would just basically tell me I was worth nothing. And if it wasn't for my small circle of friends, I probably wouldn't be here today. Ashlie: (44:59)

Wow Melissa. And going through what had happened and you moving to Sacramento and thinking that everything that had happened after Sean passed away and you meeting your ex husband and him sweeping you off your feet the way that he did. And then getting the opportunity to meet these two angels, the son and daughter, and having them in your home and raising them as your own for a year. And then the devastation of what transpired with your ex husband. Ashlie: (45:34)

How did you pull yourself about that after the divorce? Melissa: (45:42)

My friends helped a lot. My best friend Austin, my best friend that was here, um, my sister, I call her my sister Cathy. She was a huge role in making sure that I was okay. Her husband, her, her kids, my friend Becky and her husband, everybody just kind of rallied around me. My ex husband had called a bunch of people and told them it was my fault and I did lose a few friends, but they were also his friends and it just, it opened my eyes to who was really, really my friend and I had met, I had met Kevin and I think one of the pivotal points in me deciding to walk away from my ex was I have to fly to Texas because my, my grandmother had passed away and the entire time I was there, Melissa: (47:15)

my ex would call me and just complain about the kids and you need to talk to them to tell them to listen to me. You need to do this. They're not listening. They're screaming and they're doing this. But Kevin checked on me. He asked how I was holding up. My ex never asked. He just called to complain. Kevin checked on me, my friends checked on me. They asked how I was holding up, how I was doing, if there was anything they could do, what my ex never did. All he did was complain in that. That was when I knew, you know, I had been thinking of it before, but that's what I knew I needed to divorce him and that that's what made my decision was he didn't care that I was hurting, that I had lost somebody so dear to me and all he could do was just complain. Ashlie: (48:29)

So Melissa, let's fast forward a little bit. We were in 2014 to 15 you lost 145 pounds. Just from seeing your feed on your Instagram, seeing the pictures and the transformation, I can see the level of confidence and self ownership that had taken place during that time. Ashlie: (48:50)

Talk to me a little bit more about how the relationship between you and Kevin, who you are still with today transpired since 2015. Melissa: (49:04)

Kevin was his a rock for me. He um, Melissa: (49:12)

yeah, him and a couple other people would cheer me up by telling me I could do this. Melissa: (49:22)

I met him shortly after I had lost a hundred pounds and he was, he was blown away that I had done that in seven months. And then along the way I lost another 45 pounds and that just that totally change my mentality because it wasn't, Melissa: (49:47)

I was almost 300 pounds. I was this woman who was just trapped in the shell and just assuming everything that came her way was because of her. I flourished. I had so much confidence and I decided I was going to become a trainer and my friend who's a retired marine, he was cheering me on. He said, you can do this, you're going to be an awesome trainer because you can definitely relate to people who want to lose weight. And Kevin was the same way. My friend Dee at the time, she was cheering me on everybody, but my ex was supportive and I became a trainer. I was certified and that just made me so happy that I was able to help so many other people change their lives and lose the weight that they wanted to and just become happier with ourselves. And that was just so rewarding to me because people saw me, they knew what I had done and they realize that they're capable of doing it too and me helping them along. Just that, that's what made me happy, was being able to help other people and through thick and thin three people were always by my side. Melissa: (51:49)

My friend who's the retired marine, my best friend, Adrian and Kevin, they were always by my side and they encouraged me so much and the three of them even asked me for advice on how they could lose weight gain muscle and I was wanting to happy to help them and I'm glad that the three of them are still a huge part of my life. Ashlie: (52:21)

Oh, Melissa, I know as you listen, this has been quite a heavy show, quite heavier than most of our episodes, but I am so honored and proud and privileged to know you and to see the journey that you have come through really in such a short amount of time. And I just wonder, Melissa is as you sit there for the listener, if anybody is dealing with something like domestic violence or the loss of a loved one or having to cope with, with even the loss of a child or whether or not to adopt, there are so many elements to your story that are relatable. If you can leave the listener with one solid piece of advice, what would you give them? Melissa: (53:08)

It gets better. You will make it through Melissa: (53:13) and if somebody needs to reach out, I am always there. They can definitely find me on, on Instagram Melissa: (53:25)

I know there's a lot of people that are afraid, whether it's domestic violence, whether it's those in somebody's, whether they should adopt, shouldn't coming to terms with not being able to have kids. Yes. If they need to, they can always find me on Instagram and I will gladly be there for anybody. Melissa: (53:53)

A veteran just recently reached out to me on Instagram and he had told me that there's so many times he wanted to take his life and then just talking to him, he's told me that he feels like there's something worth living for now. Melissa: (54:11)

But for anybody out there that's going through anything, whether it's sorrow, whether it's pain, it will get better. It will. I'm living proof that it will get better.

Ashlie:

Such an inspiration. Melissa, I just, I don't want to forget this, but if you could share with the listener what your Instagram handle is Ashlie: (54:38)

It is @the_Camaro_wolf. Perfect. And I'll go ahead and I'll put that in the show notes too as you listen to, if you're interested in reaching out to Melissa with any questions, even sharing how her story might've inspired you or touched you, always reach out and just drop that comments. It means so much Melissa to us, for you to be able to come on this show and share this space with us and most importantly to share the story of your friend Sean Tharpe. We thank you for sharing that with us. We thank him and his, his family for his service and the sacrifice that they ultimately made in order for us to preserve our freedom. It's something that we are indebted for forever. And I think as you listen, if there's one piece of advice to take away from this is to know that as we live our day to day and we're privileged to drink a cup of coffee every morning go to work.

Enjoying time with the family and, and friends that we hold dearest. Even listening to shows like this popping on Instagram or Facebook, it's all because we have such heroes fighting for us and ultimately giving their lives to be able to have that freedom. And I think when you understand that and you live by that, and you're able to acknowledge that on a day to day basis, then you're really able to enjoy your Tactical Living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics.

Hit that subscribe button so that you don't miss a day of the added value that I am dedicated to sharing with you weekly.

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Website: www.leowarriors.com

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Ashlie: (00:18)

Welcome back to another episode of tactical living by Leo Warriors. I'm your host, Ashlie Walton.

Clint: 

I'm your co-host Clint Walton. 

Ashlie: 

In today's episode, we're going to talk about how something as simple as a bracelet can have such an impact on somebody, even when considering and contemplating suicide. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content.

Ashlie: (00:43)

A friend of mine shared with me a story of inspiration, a story of how he felt that he was at the point in his life that his bipolar disease had so much control over him that suicide came to mind more than once. Although he never attempted suicide, he did get to a point in his life to where he had to gather up every single knife in his house, seal it up in a taped box and go and throw it out into the dumpster. He had a sense of liberation once he did this. A sense of knowing that the tools that were pinging at him in a way, to where it would be most useful to possibly take his own life no longer existed for him.

Ashlie: (01:32)

He came across this company and he shared it with me. You could find them on Instagram @Livelokai. It's incredible when you look at these bracelets. They look like typical gemstone bracelets. I'm sure you've seen them. They come and in amethyst, jade…every stone that you can think of, but there's something very special about these because on one side of the bracelet, there's a white bead. The white bead is actually infused with water from Mount Everest. As you sit there, especially if you're somebody who is into hiking, you might understand that Mount Everest is the highest point on the planet. On the other side of the bracelet is a black bead and the black bead is infused with mud from the Dead Sea, which is the lowest point on the earth. For me, this channels a lot of emotion because we've all been in the place where we experienced the highs and the lows. As you sit there, if you or someone you know suffers from any sense of mental illness, then you know that those highs could be really high and those lows can be debilitating at times.

Ashlie: (02:53)

But what my friend shared with me was that having this bracelet on his wrist is not just a bracelet. It's a reminder of the places that he's been and also where he's going. This simple bracelet gives him hope. In September, it was national suicide prevention month.
 

Ashlie: (03:15)

And that's really why he decided to share this with me. He decided to go into some details about some of the struggles that he's had in his past as it pertains to suffering with bipolar disorder.


Ashlie: (03:29)

I am so full of gratitude that he would share something like this with me. I say that because we've had past episodes when we talk about how difficult it is to summon up that courage to be able to express to somebody else that something doesn't feel right.

Ashlie: (03:47)

He also shared with me was that for the past two years there's been a lot of self-development, self-confidence and growth that has transpired in him that has led him to start up a company of his own.

Ashlie: (04:01)

It's so inspiring to pay witness to somebody who has struggled with a mental health illness for so long and yet has used it as empowerment, not only for himself, but to share the message with the world. Sometimes I wonder if that's the whole point of it is that the reason why we get sick, why we have hardships. I'll share with you something that was sparked in me last night and believe it or not, it came from watching the newest Aladdin movie.


Ashlie: (04:37)

A lot of memories were evoked in me from watching that movie from childhood. When I was a kid, I can't count how many times I watched the movie. We all fell in love with the story, the beautiful Princess Jasmine, the adorable Abu and we all know what the story is. I'm sure as you sit there, you dreamed of having a magic carpet or even that priceless lamp, that genie of your own

Ashlie: (05:10)

But what it brought up for me was not the envy of having those three unlimited wishes.

Ashlie: (05:18)
Instead, it reminded me of something that my mom told me when she was first diagnosed with lung cancer. As I'm sitting there watching this movie and I'm seeing the evil that's transpired through the actions of Jafar.

Ashlie: (05:37)

Something was brought to my attention that I didn't see that when I was younger. I knew there was good and bad, but I didn't see the evil for the face value. I didn't look at just how devious his actions are and how that transpires into the real world with how those actions play out on a day to day basis with many people that we come into contact with on a routine basis. That's why those words from my mom came to mind

Ashlie: (06:07)

When she was first diagnosed and we were told that she was going to die. And yet she understood that there was a way that she could still fight even through her death and her ultimate demise. The words that she said to me, and it was so vindicated in her faith, was that she believed that there was the devil here on earth and it wasn't in a human form, but instead it was the challenges, the evil, the struggle, the temptation, the things that we are faced with on a routine basis that allow us to make the decision of right or wrong, good or bad.

That ultimately leads to the choices that we decide to make for ourselves, and that really stuck with me. Seeing that evil transpired even in something as simple as a Disney remake allows me to know that this is me growing. This is me maturing. This is me understanding that there are pieces in life that oftentimes come in the most unexpected forms that are the gifts from the universe. Some might say that that was God for me. I feel like it was a message that I was tapping into from my mom. Why else would I have remembered that? Why would I have connected the dots in the way that I did? And that's not to say I felt her presence, but I certainly felt and still feel that message

Ashlie: (07:44)

When that clicked for me. I went back to that very moment. I see her in the room. I remember why that conversation started in the first place. I told her selfishly that I didn't want this to happen to her. I was thinking about the way that it would impact me and her response was so internalized and she had no negative emotion around it. She said it so calmly and with such certainty. And I think that's why I carried it with me and why it was sparked the way that it was for me last night.

Ashlie: (08:26)

The older and older that I get, the more that I continue to meditate and tap into my own spirituality, I'm realizing that there's a much bigger picture. And as you sit there, maybe you've had that own realization for yourself, that understanding that the picture isn't always about you. There's always someone who's worse off than whatever it is that you're contending with, despite how miserable you might feel in the moment.

Ashlie: (08:56)

And when you're able to understand that and you know that you're surrounded by other people that may be experiencing something really traumatic in the moment, then you're able to embody a certain level of empathy. And there's this new level of awareness that exists, the awareness of evil. And on the backside of that, there's also the symbolic awareness of good.

I know that we think sometimes that there's much more evil than there is good. But when you stop for a moment and you look at the big picture and you sit through the moments and you go through the interactions that you have, even with random people on a daily basis, then it's easy to see that there is far, much good, more good in the world than exists evil and that element, that element of evil. It's usually very brief and when you live a life of virtue, and I'm not saying as you sit there, saying you're perfect, nor do I believe that you think you are, but I also know the growth that you've gone through from experiencing evil in your own life.

As you listen to this, maybe there's been a moment in your life where you faced the possibility of your own demise, that terrible C diagnosis, you have cancer. Have you ever heard those words? Have you ever sat there in the confines of an exam room when a doctor has said those words to somebody that you love?

Ashlie: (10:38)

how did you interpret that? Maybe you got angry. How did you travel through the emotions of that after you first heard those words?

Ashlie: (10:54)

The thing that made me most calm when it comes to being and experiencing that with my mom was the calmness in her own voice and her explanation based out of wisdom and based out of her own spiritual connection to God that it wasn't just about her.

There was an entire message, an entire scripture surrounding those words and had it not been for that conversation in the beginning of my mom's illness, I don't think I fully would have understood her connection to her higher power and her ability to use that as her strength in fuel to power her through until she took her last breath. And it's incredible to me when somebody that deals with something that is so difficult physically or emotionally is able to summon the courage and to summon those words of inspiration to give to others.

I hold that so dear. Not just with my mom, but also with my friend who decided to showcase how important it was to use the symbolic meaning of a bracelet as a reminder every single day to look down and to remind him that he's been at some very low points in his life, but he's also experienced some incredible things. And there's also the highest points in his life that are still to come.

Ashlie: (12:25)

And when you understand that for yourself, and you know that that's true for you too, then you're really able to enjoy your Tactical Living. 

Balance. Optimize. Tactics. 

Hit that subscribe button so that you don’t miss a day of the added value that I am dedicated to sharing with you weekly. 

Let’s Connect! 

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Email: [email protected] 

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Website: www.leowarriors.com

Free Training: www.leowarrior.com

Ashlie: (00:18)

Welcome back to another episode of tactical living by Leo Warriors. I'm your host, Ashlie Walton.

Clint:

I'm your co-host Clint Walton.

Ashlie:

In today's episode, we're going to talk about how something as simple as a bracelet can have such an impact on somebody, even when considering and contemplating suicide. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content. Ashlie: (00:43)

A friend of mine shared with me a story of inspiration, a story of how he felt that he was at the point in his life that his bipolar disease had so much control over him that suicide came to mind more than once. Although he never attempted suicide, he did get to a point in his life to where he had to gather up every single knife in his house, seal it up in a taped box and go and throw it out into the dumpster. He had a sense of liberation once he did this. A sense of knowing that the tools that were pinging at him in a way, to where it would be most useful to possibly take his own life no longer existed for him. Ashlie: (01:32)

He came across this company and he shared it with me. You could find them on Instagram @Livelokai. It's incredible when you look at these bracelets. They look like typical gemstone bracelets. I'm sure you've seen them. They come and in amethyst, jade…every stone that you can think of, but there's something very special about these because on one side of the bracelet, there's a white bead. The white bead is actually infused with water from Mount Everest. As you sit there, especially if you're somebody who is into hiking, you might understand that Mount Everest is the highest point on the planet. On the other side of the bracelet is a black bead and the black bead is infused with mud from the Dead Sea, which is the lowest point on the earth. For me, this channels a lot of emotion because we've all been in the place where we experienced the highs and the lows. As you sit there, if you or someone you know suffers from any sense of mental illness, then you know that those highs could be really high and those lows can be debilitating at times. Ashlie: (02:53)

But what my friend shared with me was that having this bracelet on his wrist is not just a bracelet. It's a reminder of the places that he's been and also where he's going. This simple bracelet gives him hope. In September, it was national suicide prevention month.

Ashlie: (03:15)

And that's really why he decided to share this with me. He decided to go into some details about some of the struggles that he's had in his past as it pertains to suffering with bipolar disorder. Ashlie: (03:29)

I am so full of gratitude that he would share something like this with me. I say that because we've had past episodes when we talk about how difficult it is to summon up that courage to be able to express to somebody else that something doesn't feel right. Ashlie: (03:47)

He also shared with me was that for the past two years there's been a lot of self-development, self-confidence and growth that has transpired in him that has led him to start up a company of his own. Ashlie: (04:01)

It's so inspiring to pay witness to somebody who has struggled with a mental health illness for so long and yet has used it as empowerment, not only for himself, but to share the message with the world. Sometimes I wonder if that's the whole point of it is that the reason why we get sick, why we have hardships. I'll share with you something that was sparked in me last night and believe it or not, it came from watching the newest Aladdin movie. Ashlie: (04:37)

A lot of memories were evoked in me from watching that movie from childhood. When I was a kid, I can't count how many times I watched the movie. We all fell in love with the story, the beautiful Princess Jasmine, the adorable Abu and we all know what the story is. I'm sure as you sit there, you dreamed of having a magic carpet or even that priceless lamp, that genie of your own Ashlie: (05:10)

But what it brought up for me was not the envy of having those three unlimited wishes. Ashlie: (05:18) Instead, it reminded me of something that my mom told me when she was first diagnosed with lung cancer. As I'm sitting there watching this movie and I'm seeing the evil that's transpired through the actions of Jafar. Ashlie: (05:37)

Something was brought to my attention that I didn't see that when I was younger. I knew there was good and bad, but I didn't see the evil for the face value. I didn't look at just how devious his actions are and how that transpires into the real world with how those actions play out on a day to day basis with many people that we come into contact with on a routine basis. That's why those words from my mom came to mind Ashlie: (06:07)

When she was first diagnosed and we were told that she was going to die. And yet she understood that there was a way that she could still fight even through her death and her ultimate demise. The words that she said to me, and it was so vindicated in her faith, was that she believed that there was the devil here on earth and it wasn't in a human form, but instead it was the challenges, the evil, the struggle, the temptation, the things that we are faced with on a routine basis that allow us to make the decision of right or wrong, good or bad.

That ultimately leads to the choices that we decide to make for ourselves, and that really stuck with me. Seeing that evil transpired even in something as simple as a Disney remake allows me to know that this is me growing. This is me maturing. This is me understanding that there are pieces in life that oftentimes come in the most unexpected forms that are the gifts from the universe. Some might say that that was God for me. I feel like it was a message that I was tapping into from my mom. Why else would I have remembered that? Why would I have connected the dots in the way that I did? And that's not to say I felt her presence, but I certainly felt and still feel that message Ashlie: (07:44)

When that clicked for me. I went back to that very moment. I see her in the room. I remember why that conversation started in the first place. I told her selfishly that I didn't want this to happen to her. I was thinking about the way that it would impact me and her response was so internalized and she had no negative emotion around it. She said it so calmly and with such certainty. And I think that's why I carried it with me and why it was sparked the way that it was for me last night. Ashlie: (08:26)

The older and older that I get, the more that I continue to meditate and tap into my own spirituality, I'm realizing that there's a much bigger picture. And as you sit there, maybe you've had that own realization for yourself, that understanding that the picture isn't always about you. There's always someone who's worse off than whatever it is that you're contending with, despite how miserable you might feel in the moment.

Ashlie: (08:56)

And when you're able to understand that and you know that you're surrounded by other people that may be experiencing something really traumatic in the moment, then you're able to embody a certain level of empathy. And there's this new level of awareness that exists, the awareness of evil. And on the backside of that, there's also the symbolic awareness of good.

I know that we think sometimes that there's much more evil than there is good. But when you stop for a moment and you look at the big picture and you sit through the moments and you go through the interactions that you have, even with random people on a daily basis, then it's easy to see that there is far, much good, more good in the world than exists evil and that element, that element of evil. It's usually very brief and when you live a life of virtue, and I'm not saying as you sit there, saying you're perfect, nor do I believe that you think you are, but I also know the growth that you've gone through from experiencing evil in your own life.

As you listen to this, maybe there's been a moment in your life where you faced the possibility of your own demise, that terrible C diagnosis, you have cancer. Have you ever heard those words? Have you ever sat there in the confines of an exam room when a doctor has said those words to somebody that you love? Ashlie: (10:38)

how did you interpret that? Maybe you got angry. How did you travel through the emotions of that after you first heard those words? Ashlie: (10:54)

The thing that made me most calm when it comes to being and experiencing that with my mom was the calmness in her own voice and her explanation based out of wisdom and based out of her own spiritual connection to God that it wasn't just about her.

There was an entire message, an entire scripture surrounding those words and had it not been for that conversation in the beginning of my mom's illness, I don't think I fully would have understood her connection to her higher power and her ability to use that as her strength in fuel to power her through until she took her last breath. And it's incredible to me when somebody that deals with something that is so difficult physically or emotionally is able to summon the courage and to summon those words of inspiration to give to others.

I hold that so dear. Not just with my mom, but also with my friend who decided to showcase how important it was to use the symbolic meaning of a bracelet as a reminder every single day to look down and to remind him that he's been at some very low points in his life, but he's also experienced some incredible things. And there's also the highest points in his life that are still to come. Ashlie: (12:25)

And when you understand that for yourself, and you know that that's true for you too, then you're really able to enjoy your Tactical Living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics.

Hit that subscribe button so that you don't miss a day of the added value that I am dedicated to sharing with you weekly.

Let's Connect!

Facebook

Instagram

Email: [email protected]

LinkedIn

Website: www.leowarriors.com

Free Training: www.leowarrior.com

Ashlie: (00:18)
Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by LEO Warriors. I'm your host, Ashlie Walton.

Clint:

And I'm your co-host Clint Walton.

Ashlie: In today's episode, we're going to talk about why thinking you know it all is often preventing you from being able to grow and learn new things. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content. As I sit here, my husband is literally straddling the chair in a way that looks incredibly uncomfortable and the reason for that is because he had five straight days of mounted training. And as you sit there, I wonder if you can just explain to the listener a little bit about what transpired from the beginning of the week going into this training.

Clint: (01:08)
You know, riding horses in our mounted unit is such a rewarding task that I get to do. We have to do trainings on regular basis. Not necessarily for us but for the horses to kind of get them acclimated to different scenarios like people pushing strollers, balloons…anything you could possibly think of that might spook the horse. You have a one thousand, two thousand pound animal in between your legs and you're effectively trying to arrest people while riding them. Yearly, myself and team members from my unit do a weekly training. We're really spending 40 hours if not longer throughout the week riding horses. And it's not easy. It's not like we're going on an easy trail ride and just cruising along. Working on the horses is actually very easy to do because we're kind of cruising, looking for people to arrest, to maintain control of situations and for maybe five, 10 minutes how to actually work.

Clint: (02:28)

During this training it's completely different. They're trying to scare the horses. They're trying to teach us formations. They're trying to get us the experience that we need to know how comfortable we are with our request training skills. So I've been through this training before. This is my fourth or fifth time going actually through the training and this week was a different company that we did the training through. I think all of us went into the training really thinking that we already know this. None of these guys deal with what we deal with in our city. A lot of the agencies, it's all PR related mounted policies or enforcement details that they do. I was completely dumbfounded by how educated these people were. And I went into the class thinking I'm not going to learn anything new or it's going to be just another week-long adventure and riding horses.

Clint: (03:40)
But in the beginning, I told myself I was going to open myself up to any new experiences throughout the training that they could teach me whether I agree with it or not. I'm going to go into the training thinking that I don't know anything about riding horses. By doing that, I completely open myself up to criticism, to critique and to learning new things. And I think everyone on our team really took away some great tidbits of information that we never would have thought of if I would have just completely closed myself off in the very beginning and said, ‘well, I already know this. I don't need to do this. Let me focus on something else and just ride the horse like I typically do.’ I wouldn't have been able to be taught what we learned throughout the week. My body aches as I sit here. My fists are balled up and my hands are sweaty because my hands feel swollen from grasping the rains for a full week.

Speaker 3: (04:55)
I can barely walk it seems like but that's just part of the experience. There was this grizzly old cowboy that was in the class. He's a short old white man and looks like a country singer. He looks like the Marlboro Man. If you know what that looks like…he carries around a cigar everywhere he goes. And to me, I was like, that is what a cowboy is supposed to look like! And throughout the training he came over to me and my partner a few times and just offered some advice. He didn't demand we do something. He didn't demand that we do it his way. He just offered it as another option to us. And in doing that, both of us opened ourselves up to a whole new experience of actually riding the horses and techniques of how we can approach crowd control situations or just typical equestrian techniques to make our ride smoother and easier. Things that we might struggle with, and I won't bore you with the details of side passing or just getting into a typical formation with horses, but little minor things like just looking the direction you want to go or looking ahead of your obstacles is something that the horses feed off of. They play off of. If you're staring at something right in front of your face, the horse isn't going to want to do it because they sense your energy. Looking beyond it, they're going to do the same and just work through it.

Clint: (06:48)
And in opening myself up to this training, I learned so much throughout this week than I have in any of the other trainings I've ever done in reference to riding horses. In doing this with all my trainings now I'm going to open myself up to learning new things instead of thinking I know everything surrounding whatever that training may be.

Clint: (07:16)
I've always set my limitations going into these trainings. I would say things like, ‘I already know this. I don't need to do it.’ Not anymore.

Ashlie: (07:28)
I actually had the opportunity to go to training with Clint yesterday. The coolest thing for me was knowing that Clint and his partners are actually getting ready to create an entire training program of their own. Their agency is not very big as it pertains to the mounted unit, but a very close by agency had their entire mounted unit shut down and diminished because nobody has taken charge of it. It's the hope for their team to be able to expand their team and really combine the efforts of both agencies as it pertains to their mounted unit as a whole. And knowing that that was the intent made me so proud to see how open and aware you were Clint. Your mindset was a little bit different this time. It wasn't you just going to the training for the sole purpose of being just a single unit member of your mounted team. You understood that the anticipation is to be able to take any skills that are required or any techniques or even the way that the entire training is set up because you and your partners are going to be able to share that with other people as you bring them on to do training under you.

Ashlie: (08:45)
And it was so fascinating to watch the different scenarios. It's things that we take for granted and we don't always realize what goes into play when it comes to the training of not only the officers but the horses as well. Tactics like pretending that you're screaming at the officer's while you're standing there on the ground. They had simulated responses and these almost dummy people coming in and trying to portray the way that it really looks when you're on the street and you're serving the community on your horse. And this isn't just good exposure and training for the officer, but from us having Clint’s horse Buttercups, it is also incredible experience and exposure for the horses. They're around people that have different smells and they're experiencing a different element. That's exactly what it's like when they go into any sort of work environment.

Ashlie: (09:41)
There was a late night where they're exposed to fireworks. There was motor vehicles that were turned on and the horses having to come right next to the vehicles shooting from the horses. Yeah, you had, um, was it cap guns or empty rounds. They also fired off cap guns as we're riding around too. This is to pretty much scare the horses and get them used to it. And I think from my perspective it was just the ability of being able to open yourself up in a way to where it's not just receiving the training that you're receiving. But because you have the intention of being able to teach somebody else and in our own practices as it pertains to our coaching practice. Our continued education, we've learned that that's the trick for me as you sit there. The truth is that I can't just read a book and keep it to myself anymore.

Ashlie: (10:40)
As I read, I have a notepad that I'm constantly taking notes on because most of what we consume on a routine basis, you hear that term. It goes in one ear and out the other and it couldn't be truer. When you think back on the last book you read or the last training program that you are in. Something incredible happens with the way that the content sticks. When you're able to teach it to somebody else and you carry it with you so much further and it's not just the content. This is even names of people and just developing different techniques and tricks to be able to train your mind. It's the same for this particular training and I think that once you understand that you don't know it all. We've all been there. We have situations where we think we're the smartest one in the room. The truth is that if that's how you feel, you never want to be the smartest person in the room.

Ashlie: (11:37)
The only way for you to grow, to learn, to develop is for you to have somebody or several somebodies who are above you in terms of excellence. That could be scholastically. That can be based on real life experience. You want be the one that’s sort of dumbed-down. That way, you can have curiosity sparked within yourself to be able to learn from the people that you're around. When you understand that and you embrace it, then you're able to get over some of that ego. When you can do that, then you can learn and experience life in a whole new way. And then by taking that and teaching it to somebody else…you're really able to enjoy your Tactical Living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics. 

Hit that subscribe button so that you don’t miss a day of the added value that I am dedicated to sharing with you weekly. 

Let’s Connect! 

Facebook 

Instagram 

Email: [email protected] 

LinkedIn 

Website: www.leowarriors.com

Free Training: www.leowarrior.com

Ashlie: (00:18) Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by LEO Warriors. I'm your host, Ashlie Walton.

Clint:

And I'm your co-host Clint Walton.

Ashlie: In today's episode, we're going to talk about why thinking you know it all is often preventing you from being able to grow and learn new things. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content. As I sit here, my husband is literally straddling the chair in a way that looks incredibly uncomfortable and the reason for that is because he had five straight days of mounted training. And as you sit there, I wonder if you can just explain to the listener a little bit about what transpired from the beginning of the week going into this training. Clint: (01:08) You know, riding horses in our mounted unit is such a rewarding task that I get to do. We have to do trainings on regular basis. Not necessarily for us but for the horses to kind of get them acclimated to different scenarios like people pushing strollers, balloons…anything you could possibly think of that might spook the horse. You have a one thousand, two thousand pound animal in between your legs and you're effectively trying to arrest people while riding them. Yearly, myself and team members from my unit do a weekly training. We're really spending 40 hours if not longer throughout the week riding horses. And it's not easy. It's not like we're going on an easy trail ride and just cruising along. Working on the horses is actually very easy to do because we're kind of cruising, looking for people to arrest, to maintain control of situations and for maybe five, 10 minutes how to actually work. Clint: (02:28)

During this training it's completely different. They're trying to scare the horses. They're trying to teach us formations. They're trying to get us the experience that we need to know how comfortable we are with our request training skills. So I've been through this training before. This is my fourth or fifth time going actually through the training and this week was a different company that we did the training through. I think all of us went into the training really thinking that we already know this. None of these guys deal with what we deal with in our city. A lot of the agencies, it's all PR related mounted policies or enforcement details that they do. I was completely dumbfounded by how educated these people were. And I went into the class thinking I'm not going to learn anything new or it's going to be just another week-long adventure and riding horses. Clint: (03:40) But in the beginning, I told myself I was going to open myself up to any new experiences throughout the training that they could teach me whether I agree with it or not. I'm going to go into the training thinking that I don't know anything about riding horses. By doing that, I completely open myself up to criticism, to critique and to learning new things. And I think everyone on our team really took away some great tidbits of information that we never would have thought of if I would have just completely closed myself off in the very beginning and said, 'well, I already know this. I don't need to do this. Let me focus on something else and just ride the horse like I typically do.' I wouldn't have been able to be taught what we learned throughout the week. My body aches as I sit here. My fists are balled up and my hands are sweaty because my hands feel swollen from grasping the rains for a full week. Speaker 3: (04:55) I can barely walk it seems like but that's just part of the experience. There was this grizzly old cowboy that was in the class. He's a short old white man and looks like a country singer. He looks like the Marlboro Man. If you know what that looks like…he carries around a cigar everywhere he goes. And to me, I was like, that is what a cowboy is supposed to look like! And throughout the training he came over to me and my partner a few times and just offered some advice. He didn't demand we do something. He didn't demand that we do it his way. He just offered it as another option to us. And in doing that, both of us opened ourselves up to a whole new experience of actually riding the horses and techniques of how we can approach crowd control situations or just typical equestrian techniques to make our ride smoother and easier. Things that we might struggle with, and I won't bore you with the details of side passing or just getting into a typical formation with horses, but little minor things like just looking the direction you want to go or looking ahead of your obstacles is something that the horses feed off of. They play off of. If you're staring at something right in front of your face, the horse isn't going to want to do it because they sense your energy. Looking beyond it, they're going to do the same and just work through it. Clint: (06:48) And in opening myself up to this training, I learned so much throughout this week than I have in any of the other trainings I've ever done in reference to riding horses. In doing this with all my trainings now I'm going to open myself up to learning new things instead of thinking I know everything surrounding whatever that training may be. Clint: (07:16) I've always set my limitations going into these trainings. I would say things like, 'I already know this. I don't need to do it.' Not anymore. Ashlie: (07:28) I actually had the opportunity to go to training with Clint yesterday. The coolest thing for me was knowing that Clint and his partners are actually getting ready to create an entire training program of their own. Their agency is not very big as it pertains to the mounted unit, but a very close by agency had their entire mounted unit shut down and diminished because nobody has taken charge of it. It's the hope for their team to be able to expand their team and really combine the efforts of both agencies as it pertains to their mounted unit as a whole. And knowing that that was the intent made me so proud to see how open and aware you were Clint. Your mindset was a little bit different this time. It wasn't you just going to the training for the sole purpose of being just a single unit member of your mounted team. You understood that the anticipation is to be able to take any skills that are required or any techniques or even the way that the entire training is set up because you and your partners are going to be able to share that with other people as you bring them on to do training under you. Ashlie: (08:45) And it was so fascinating to watch the different scenarios. It's things that we take for granted and we don't always realize what goes into play when it comes to the training of not only the officers but the horses as well. Tactics like pretending that you're screaming at the officer's while you're standing there on the ground. They had simulated responses and these almost dummy people coming in and trying to portray the way that it really looks when you're on the street and you're serving the community on your horse. And this isn't just good exposure and training for the officer, but from us having Clint's horse Buttercups, it is also incredible experience and exposure for the horses. They're around people that have different smells and they're experiencing a different element. That's exactly what it's like when they go into any sort of work environment. Ashlie: (09:41) There was a late night where they're exposed to fireworks. There was motor vehicles that were turned on and the horses having to come right next to the vehicles shooting from the horses. Yeah, you had, um, was it cap guns or empty rounds. They also fired off cap guns as we're riding around too. This is to pretty much scare the horses and get them used to it. And I think from my perspective it was just the ability of being able to open yourself up in a way to where it's not just receiving the training that you're receiving. But because you have the intention of being able to teach somebody else and in our own practices as it pertains to our coaching practice. Our continued education, we've learned that that's the trick for me as you sit there. The truth is that I can't just read a book and keep it to myself anymore. Ashlie: (10:40) As I read, I have a notepad that I'm constantly taking notes on because most of what we consume on a routine basis, you hear that term. It goes in one ear and out the other and it couldn't be truer. When you think back on the last book you read or the last training program that you are in. Something incredible happens with the way that the content sticks. When you're able to teach it to somebody else and you carry it with you so much further and it's not just the content. This is even names of people and just developing different techniques and tricks to be able to train your mind. It's the same for this particular training and I think that once you understand that you don't know it all. We've all been there. We have situations where we think we're the smartest one in the room. The truth is that if that's how you feel, you never want to be the smartest person in the room. Ashlie: (11:37) The only way for you to grow, to learn, to develop is for you to have somebody or several somebodies who are above you in terms of excellence. That could be scholastically. That can be based on real life experience. You want be the one that's sort of dumbed-down. That way, you can have curiosity sparked within yourself to be able to learn from the people that you're around. When you understand that and you embrace it, then you're able to get over some of that ego. When you can do that, then you can learn and experience life in a whole new way. And then by taking that and teaching it to somebody else…you're really able to enjoy your Tactical Living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics.

Hit that subscribe button so that you don't miss a day of the added value that I am dedicated to sharing with you weekly.

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Ashlie: (00:17)
Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by LEO Warriors. I'm your host, Ashlie Walton.

Clint:

And I'm your co-host Clint Walton.

Ashlie:

In today's episode, we're going to talk about how tapping into that inner instinct can really change the trajectory of someone else's life. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content. Something just happened that sort of blew my mind and it started from me brushing my teeth this morning. Let me go back a few steps. When we first started this podcast, things didn't go quite the way as planned. I had a mentor who I gained a really close relationship with

Ashlie: (01:03)
This mentor invited me into his closest circle. He promised me an endless amount of things, and to make a long story short, he did not follow through with a single one of those things.

Ashlie: (01:18)
The byproduct of that was this podcast. He had a producer who produced his podcast and he offered his services to me

Ashlie: (01:30)
And for that I couldn't be more grateful to that mentor, but mostly to this individual.

Ashlie: (01:38)
This individual… I don't even know if he got paid or not for all of the work that he put forth and not only my podcast, but an entire group of podcasts that were being produced at the same time. I will never know the full transparency to that story because of the way that things didn't pan out with all that was promised from said mentor. Getting into that, the relationship that I started to develop with this producer was one that I almost felt sorry for. I don't necessarily know what the relationship looks like between this individual, let's call him Zach. That's a made up name, but to make it easier for the sake of conversation. Zach and my mentor worked side by side, although I know the amount of work that Zach puts forth on a routine basis is just crazy.

Ashlie: (02:37)
And he helped me with the production, the lunch and even showed me how to edit my own podcasts and produce the content that you're listening to right now. It dawned on me during one of our conference calls (we use Zoom, so it's a face to face call) that this is somebody who has helped so many people produce their own shows and he's so skilled in his technical abilities and yet he doesn't have a show of his own.

Ashlie: (03:10)
And if we fast forward to this morning, I started to think of him. There was about a month, maybe it was a month ago when I had reached out to him just to check to see how he was doing.

Ashlie: (03:23)
Selfishly, I did this because there was a conversation that I had with him explaining that I knew that he had a story of his own to tell and it was my wish for him that he would find a place in himself to be able to produce his own content and to create a show of his own.

Ashlie: (03:43)
As I'm brushing my teeth this morning, I told myself I needed to follow up with him again. It's been a few weeks. I wanted to make sure that he knew that I didn't just use him for his services and that he truly means something. I am forever grateful for all that he did in support of our show. That intro that you hear at the beginning of our show was actually custom mixed and curated from him.

Ashlie: (04:09)
And so during the weekend, Clint and I try not to do too much when it comes to work related activities. Although we are recording this episode on the weekend, we try to stay off of social media, so of course that means staying off of Facebook Messenger. So I added it to my mental to do lists for next week.

Ashlie: (04:31)
The craziest thing that happened was that I just received a message from him telling me how impactful it was that I shared with him that his story genuinely needed to be shared with the world and that it put a little bit of fire behind his rear end. I was humbled by this. This made me smile on the inside, but it's not about me

Ashlie: (04:57)
And for me, I look at this as that energy that surrounds us. In the universe. Just like when we have those mindless moments in the shower. It's the same thing for me in the morning when I brush my teeth because I very deliberately have a sort of active meditation every morning when I brush my teeth. I set the intention for the day and that's when my cognitive awareness opens up in a way to where I experienced certain thoughts that maybe I wouldn't when my mind is a little bit more proactive. So getting this message from him today really made me feel connected to him through the universe. As you sit there, that might sound a little woo for you and I'm okay with that.

Ashlie: (05:46)
Because for me, I look at it as a girl sitting on the side of the west coast when he is sitting all the way on the east coast and for whatever reason, two people that don't know each other too well, found this connection to where communication was open between the two of us when our thoughts were somehow still connected. And it's true. I want nothing more for him than to be able to experience all of the greatness that he's helped so many other people to experience. What I explained to him is that he has been the backup singer in so many other bands and yet he's the one with the tactical skills that most people would never put forth the effort to master and he deserves to be that front liner, that lead singer in his own band. I know in past episodes, we've talked about just being an employee and sitting on the sidelines being the one that does all the work. When the main player be at the doctor, the chief of police, whoever that main component is in the place of work gets all the credit.

Ashlie: (07:01)
But this is a man who's a freelancer. He works for himself and he has so much in terms of skills to offer to the world that I'm just eager and excited to hear what his voice is as it streams through my own speakers and it makes me excited for him. In full transparency, this also gives me the ability to make sure that I continue to follow up with him and I do anything that I can to support him and that will help to build on our friendship. It will also help to put forth a little bit of push behind him to where he understands that he has support. I even offered coaching to him if he feels like it would serve him. As you sit there and listen, where is it in your own life that you've needed somebody to push you a little to put that fire underneath your ass? What's that thing that you've wanted to do, but you've let other people take control and be the front runners when maybe you could do a better job than them in your own capability. I know as you sit there, there's something that you're amazingly great at. There's a talent, there's a craft. There's a skill that you've honed in on in a way that you know that you could do better than anybody else around you and yet maybe you've let other people have the light shine on them instead of you.

Ashlie: (08:33)
Why is that? Is it easier? Maybe you feel worried.

Ashlie: (08:42)
Maybe you're scared of the anticipation of not impressing other people

Ashlie: (08:49)
What would happen if you allowed your authenticity to shine through in a way that you didn't need the approval from anybody around you and you did it because of the way that it made you feel inside

Ashlie: (09:01)
You see, I believe that from him not allowing that inner energy to be released, he's genuinely doing the world a disservice because it is information, its value, it's past experiences and it's things that are so relatable to so many other people that he's just holding it inside and what purpose does that serve?

Ashlie: (09:25)
That prevents him from allowing himself to be fully exposed in a way that serves him. And it also puts other people in a position to where maybe they too feel like it's okay to keep all of that inside and to never show their truths. And ultimately, what that means is it prevents him from growing. I say that because he shared with me that that's just something that he's had in his past as something that he could potentially do in the future. And if we don't have anybody encouraging us and sometimes putting that fire underneath our ass, it becomes easy to just be complacent and to let other people run the show.

Ashlie: (10:10)
But on the backside of that, there is so much more empowerment that comes from owning what it is that makes you, you.

Ashlie: (10:18)
And it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be a show off.

Ashlie: (10:24)
But what this does mean is that when you're able to showcase those things that make you so great, it allows you to attract your tribe.

Ashlie: (10:34)
And again, this isn't somebody that I'm very close with, but I would imagine that having genuine members of his tribe grow and grow would be something that would be welcoming for him. As you sit there, wouldn't you want more people that are like minded? More people that are real and genuinely supportive of your own thoughts, your own ideas, your own creativity? How can you get that if you don't show other people that those are the truths about you? And what I believe to be true is when you have the courage to expose those vulnerable realities of everything that makes up who you are, then you're really able to enjoy your Tactical Living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics. 

Hit that subscribe button so that you don’t miss a day of the added value that I am dedicated to sharing with you weekly. 

Let’s Connect! 

Facebook 

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Email: [email protected] 

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Website: www.leowarriors.com

Free Training: www.leowarrior.com

Ashlie: (00:17) Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by LEO Warriors. I'm your host, Ashlie Walton.

Clint:

And I'm your co-host Clint Walton.

Ashlie:

In today's episode, we're going to talk about how tapping into that inner instinct can really change the trajectory of someone else's life. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content. Something just happened that sort of blew my mind and it started from me brushing my teeth this morning. Let me go back a few steps. When we first started this podcast, things didn't go quite the way as planned. I had a mentor who I gained a really close relationship with Ashlie: (01:03) This mentor invited me into his closest circle. He promised me an endless amount of things, and to make a long story short, he did not follow through with a single one of those things. Ashlie: (01:18) The byproduct of that was this podcast. He had a producer who produced his podcast and he offered his services to me Ashlie: (01:30) And for that I couldn't be more grateful to that mentor, but mostly to this individual. Ashlie: (01:38) This individual… I don't even know if he got paid or not for all of the work that he put forth and not only my podcast, but an entire group of podcasts that were being produced at the same time. I will never know the full transparency to that story because of the way that things didn't pan out with all that was promised from said mentor. Getting into that, the relationship that I started to develop with this producer was one that I almost felt sorry for. I don't necessarily know what the relationship looks like between this individual, let's call him Zach. That's a made up name, but to make it easier for the sake of conversation. Zach and my mentor worked side by side, although I know the amount of work that Zach puts forth on a routine basis is just crazy. Ashlie: (02:37) And he helped me with the production, the lunch and even showed me how to edit my own podcasts and produce the content that you're listening to right now. It dawned on me during one of our conference calls (we use Zoom, so it's a face to face call) that this is somebody who has helped so many people produce their own shows and he's so skilled in his technical abilities and yet he doesn't have a show of his own. Ashlie: (03:10) And if we fast forward to this morning, I started to think of him. There was about a month, maybe it was a month ago when I had reached out to him just to check to see how he was doing. Ashlie: (03:23) Selfishly, I did this because there was a conversation that I had with him explaining that I knew that he had a story of his own to tell and it was my wish for him that he would find a place in himself to be able to produce his own content and to create a show of his own. Ashlie: (03:43) As I'm brushing my teeth this morning, I told myself I needed to follow up with him again. It's been a few weeks. I wanted to make sure that he knew that I didn't just use him for his services and that he truly means something. I am forever grateful for all that he did in support of our show. That intro that you hear at the beginning of our show was actually custom mixed and curated from him. Ashlie: (04:09) And so during the weekend, Clint and I try not to do too much when it comes to work related activities. Although we are recording this episode on the weekend, we try to stay off of social media, so of course that means staying off of Facebook Messenger. So I added it to my mental to do lists for next week. Ashlie: (04:31) The craziest thing that happened was that I just received a message from him telling me how impactful it was that I shared with him that his story genuinely needed to be shared with the world and that it put a little bit of fire behind his rear end. I was humbled by this. This made me smile on the inside, but it's not about me Ashlie: (04:57) And for me, I look at this as that energy that surrounds us. In the universe. Just like when we have those mindless moments in the shower. It's the same thing for me in the morning when I brush my teeth because I very deliberately have a sort of active meditation every morning when I brush my teeth. I set the intention for the day and that's when my cognitive awareness opens up in a way to where I experienced certain thoughts that maybe I wouldn't when my mind is a little bit more proactive. So getting this message from him today really made me feel connected to him through the universe. As you sit there, that might sound a little woo for you and I'm okay with that. Ashlie: (05:46) Because for me, I look at it as a girl sitting on the side of the west coast when he is sitting all the way on the east coast and for whatever reason, two people that don't know each other too well, found this connection to where communication was open between the two of us when our thoughts were somehow still connected. And it's true. I want nothing more for him than to be able to experience all of the greatness that he's helped so many other people to experience. What I explained to him is that he has been the backup singer in so many other bands and yet he's the one with the tactical skills that most people would never put forth the effort to master and he deserves to be that front liner, that lead singer in his own band. I know in past episodes, we've talked about just being an employee and sitting on the sidelines being the one that does all the work. When the main player be at the doctor, the chief of police, whoever that main component is in the place of work gets all the credit. Ashlie: (07:01) But this is a man who's a freelancer. He works for himself and he has so much in terms of skills to offer to the world that I'm just eager and excited to hear what his voice is as it streams through my own speakers and it makes me excited for him. In full transparency, this also gives me the ability to make sure that I continue to follow up with him and I do anything that I can to support him and that will help to build on our friendship. It will also help to put forth a little bit of push behind him to where he understands that he has support. I even offered coaching to him if he feels like it would serve him. As you sit there and listen, where is it in your own life that you've needed somebody to push you a little to put that fire underneath your ass? What's that thing that you've wanted to do, but you've let other people take control and be the front runners when maybe you could do a better job than them in your own capability. I know as you sit there, there's something that you're amazingly great at. There's a talent, there's a craft. There's a skill that you've honed in on in a way that you know that you could do better than anybody else around you and yet maybe you've let other people have the light shine on them instead of you. Ashlie: (08:33) Why is that? Is it easier? Maybe you feel worried. Ashlie: (08:42) Maybe you're scared of the anticipation of not impressing other people Ashlie: (08:49) What would happen if you allowed your authenticity to shine through in a way that you didn't need the approval from anybody around you and you did it because of the way that it made you feel inside Ashlie: (09:01) You see, I believe that from him not allowing that inner energy to be released, he's genuinely doing the world a disservice because it is information, its value, it's past experiences and it's things that are so relatable to so many other people that he's just holding it inside and what purpose does that serve? Ashlie: (09:25) That prevents him from allowing himself to be fully exposed in a way that serves him. And it also puts other people in a position to where maybe they too feel like it's okay to keep all of that inside and to never show their truths. And ultimately, what that means is it prevents him from growing. I say that because he shared with me that that's just something that he's had in his past as something that he could potentially do in the future. And if we don't have anybody encouraging us and sometimes putting that fire underneath our ass, it becomes easy to just be complacent and to let other people run the show. Ashlie: (10:10) But on the backside of that, there is so much more empowerment that comes from owning what it is that makes you, you. Ashlie: (10:18) And it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be a show off. Ashlie: (10:24) But what this does mean is that when you're able to showcase those things that make you so great, it allows you to attract your tribe. Ashlie: (10:34) And again, this isn't somebody that I'm very close with, but I would imagine that having genuine members of his tribe grow and grow would be something that would be welcoming for him. As you sit there, wouldn't you want more people that are like minded? More people that are real and genuinely supportive of your own thoughts, your own ideas, your own creativity? How can you get that if you don't show other people that those are the truths about you? And what I believe to be true is when you have the courage to expose those vulnerable realities of everything that makes up who you are, then you're really able to enjoy your Tactical Living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics.

Hit that subscribe button so that you don't miss a day of the added value that I am dedicated to sharing with you weekly.

Let's Connect!

Facebook

Instagram

Email: [email protected]

LinkedIn

Website: www.leowarriors.com

Free Training: www.leowarrior.com

Ashlie: (00:18)
Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by LEO Warriors. I'm your host, Ashlie Walton.

Clint: (00:24)
And I'm your co-host Clint Walton.

Ashlie: (00:26)
In today's episode, we're going to talk about how different it is to police in the prisons versing versus policing on the streets. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content. Clint, you worked in the prison for many years before you became a police officer and not in the sense that many might think. I say that because typically, an officer will be required to work in the prisons before they're released out to work on the streets. But for you, you were a correctional officer, went through the academy and then decided you wanted to become a police officer. So you went through a different academy and then became a police officer.

Clint: (01:08)
Yeah.

Ashlie: (01:08)
I wonder if you could just take the listener through a little bit of your experience working in the prisons

Clint: (01:15)
When working in the prisons, it taught me a lot that I still use to this day for what I do and how I communicate with people. Treating people as one. Within the prison systems, I was surrounded by 360 inmates in my building every day. These are all convicted felons who are actually serving prison sentences and not just a minor jail sentence. Anywhere from life sentence people to people who just had a few years and in. Working in the prisons, our main goal was to make sure that they stayed within the prison walls.

Ashlie:

So to speak, to babysit.

Clint:

Exactly. I laugh when I say that because that is the primary function of a prison guard. Now you deter riots and fights. You count the inmates every so often throughout the day and then you make sure everything is structured in a way to where they get their meals, they get their TV time, they get their routine underway. A sense of normalcy.

Clint: (02:46)
There are officers who like to really challenge the aspect of being a prisoner when it comes to searching cells all the time. Searching bunks all the time. Whatever it may be within that prison system. But as an actual officer, you don't have any peace officer authorities outside of that prison. When you're there, you are the authority and that's kind of the biggest difference that I found transitioning out into the police department from corrections.

Ashlie: (03:28)
I know when you and I had first started talking, you were at the academy to become a correctional officer. Incidentally, the Monday after we were married, you started the academy to become a police officer. What was the main difference between the two?

Clint: (03:48)
I was a high paid babysitter at the prison and not trying to demean the job for anybody out there who's a prison guard.

Ashlie: (03:59)
What about just the academy? Did you see any differences?

Clint: (04:03)
In the academy? Oh, absolutely. The police officer academy was probably 200% harder than the corrections academy and I'm not talking scholastically. I'd never had a problem throughout either academy when it came to studying or learning and how to do things the way that they were teaching us. But I would say physically demanding. Also, the homework that had to go on every day after the police academy compared to the corrections academy. When we were done at the corrections academy, we were done for the night. We could go out to dinner, hang out. Um, it was an academy in Northern California and I had to stay there for the four months during that whole time. And the police academy for where I work now was six months, but it wasn't live-in. I got to go home every day and see you and get to really have life without having a life.

Clint: (05:12)
But the corrections academy had its own challenges and its own way of just learning the Title 15 Code book…Which is not comparable to where the Penal Code or the Vehicle Code is. But there's still a lot of ins and outs you have to learn. Especially the liability aspect behind everything.

Ashlie: (05:39)
Clint, you've come from a family of correctional officers. You were the first and only to stray away from that. How do you feel in retrospect having made that decision? Especially getting away from the family ties, so to speak.

Clint: (05:56)
You know, out of generations of living it pretty much…That's what I grew up doing was living as a correction office’s son. That's what I was always exposed to. Coming out of that, I really feel like it was one of the best decisions I've ever made because it wasn't for me. I couldn't stay stagnant and that's what was hard for me working in the prisons was working at the same place day in, day out. Having that routine, doing the counts at a certain time, feeding these inmates and the sense of entitlement. Having to deal with them there as well.

Ashlie:

Something funny happens when an individual works their way up through the ranks so to speak. And I say that because you were a correctional officer for several years and then you decided to make the change and you became a police officer and because of how daunting and difficult the two are in comparison, police being the one much more difficult than a correctional officer. You and I will often see correctional officers wearing their jumper suits or their uniforms just getting gas and almost showing off and doing it deliberately. We often make fun of them and no doubt they hold a purpose. We know that you were a correctional officer.

Clint: (07:23)
I used to be the one wearing my jumpsuit to the gas station but I think there's other reasons for me doing it as well.

Ashlie: (07:34)
So in looking back, and we don't need to get into the details about what police officers do versus what correctional officers do, but what are the key elements for you when it comes to your responsibility as it pertains to upholding the law as a police officer versus your limitations as a correction officer?

Clint: (07:55)
As a correctional officer, the only laws we would ever put into fact were if something were to happen within the prison. If it was a fight or a homicide or whatever it may have been. That's when we affected the laws. Other than that, we didn't do anything of the such the whole time I was there. I never had to go to court and I'm not saying that's not possible, but I never did. As a police officer, every day I'm arresting people for new offenses where the prisoners have already committed those offenses and are just serving their time until they are released.

Ashlie: (08:45)
What would you say the biggest differences working under a warden versus working under a police chief?

Clint: (08:53)
I spoke to the warden once in my entire career as a correctional officer and that was the day that I gave him my two week resignation. Yeah, and that was the only time I ever saw him or spoke to him. Where I'm at now, I see my police chief almost on a daily basis. One, because we kind of work the same schedule, but I'm in an environment where we work hand in hand in a lot of occasions because of his involvement with the community. Also, what he sees as the vision for our department. He gets more involved in reference to it.

Ashlie: (09:42)
Do you think that's pretty typical for the warden to not have that much interaction with the correctional officers in the prison?

Clint: (09:49)
I really don't know. I can't recall my brother or my dad or my grandpa ever having conversations with the warden. My Dad maybe more so because he was the vice president of their chapter of the Union. But other than that, I don't think it is a common thing. The wardens are on such a higher level when it comes to that. Most of the time they spend a lot of it up in Sacramento at our government's headquarters.

Ashlie: (10:22)
Yeah, that makes sense. And I would understand why those dynamics would exist and that disconnect in that would only be for the ability of being able to come back and then really serve the prison that they're in charge of.

Clint: (10:40)
Yeah. It's something where they're always having to figure out, dial in on the problems as a state, as a whole instead of just for their facility.

Ashlie: (10:52)
It's really important to point out that I don't believe that everybody who is a correctional officer can make that transition into being a police officer. And I say that because we've experienced that firsthand with your dad, your Grandpa, your uncle, your brother. Like, there are so many people that we know that have never made that change and that's not to discredit them in any regard. It's just merely that there is a huge difference between those two professions. And I know a lot of people mistakenly don't understand the difference between the two. And it's important to point out that each hold such a different space in what they're doing in order to serve the public, to serve the community. And there's nothing wrong or right about either one. And having that confidence to be able to know which one, if either of the two, you're willing to put forth your life on the line for.

Ashlie: (11:45)
Because essentially, that's the truth. When you come down to the bottom line of things, then you're really able to understand how important it is to have every piece of the puzzle. And it doesn't matter which piece you fall into and it's okay. And I love that you've experienced both sides of that because it allows us to see what that difference is and it gives you that sense of appreciation for both job positions. There are two completely different jobs all together. I think having that understanding in knowing that and really being able to dive into the dynamics and utilize the skills that you've acquired from having corrections in the first place, then you're really able to enjoy your Tactical Living.

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Ashlie: (00:18) Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by LEO Warriors. I'm your host, Ashlie Walton. Clint: (00:24) And I'm your co-host Clint Walton. Ashlie: (00:26) In today's episode, we're going to talk about how different it is to police in the prisons versing versus policing on the streets. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content. Clint, you worked in the prison for many years before you became a police officer and not in the sense that many might think. I say that because typically, an officer will be required to work in the prisons before they're released out to work on the streets. But for you, you were a correctional officer, went through the academy and then decided you wanted to become a police officer. So you went through a different academy and then became a police officer. Clint: (01:08) Yeah. Ashlie: (01:08) I wonder if you could just take the listener through a little bit of your experience working in the prisons Clint: (01:15) When working in the prisons, it taught me a lot that I still use to this day for what I do and how I communicate with people. Treating people as one. Within the prison systems, I was surrounded by 360 inmates in my building every day. These are all convicted felons who are actually serving prison sentences and not just a minor jail sentence. Anywhere from life sentence people to people who just had a few years and in. Working in the prisons, our main goal was to make sure that they stayed within the prison walls.

Ashlie:

So to speak, to babysit.

Clint:

Exactly. I laugh when I say that because that is the primary function of a prison guard. Now you deter riots and fights. You count the inmates every so often throughout the day and then you make sure everything is structured in a way to where they get their meals, they get their TV time, they get their routine underway. A sense of normalcy. Clint: (02:46) There are officers who like to really challenge the aspect of being a prisoner when it comes to searching cells all the time. Searching bunks all the time. Whatever it may be within that prison system. But as an actual officer, you don't have any peace officer authorities outside of that prison. When you're there, you are the authority and that's kind of the biggest difference that I found transitioning out into the police department from corrections. Ashlie: (03:28) I know when you and I had first started talking, you were at the academy to become a correctional officer. Incidentally, the Monday after we were married, you started the academy to become a police officer. What was the main difference between the two? Clint: (03:48) I was a high paid babysitter at the prison and not trying to demean the job for anybody out there who's a prison guard. Ashlie: (03:59) What about just the academy? Did you see any differences? Clint: (04:03) In the academy? Oh, absolutely. The police officer academy was probably 200% harder than the corrections academy and I'm not talking scholastically. I'd never had a problem throughout either academy when it came to studying or learning and how to do things the way that they were teaching us. But I would say physically demanding. Also, the homework that had to go on every day after the police academy compared to the corrections academy. When we were done at the corrections academy, we were done for the night. We could go out to dinner, hang out. Um, it was an academy in Northern California and I had to stay there for the four months during that whole time. And the police academy for where I work now was six months, but it wasn't live-in. I got to go home every day and see you and get to really have life without having a life. Clint: (05:12) But the corrections academy had its own challenges and its own way of just learning the Title 15 Code book…Which is not comparable to where the Penal Code or the Vehicle Code is. But there's still a lot of ins and outs you have to learn. Especially the liability aspect behind everything. Ashlie: (05:39) Clint, you've come from a family of correctional officers. You were the first and only to stray away from that. How do you feel in retrospect having made that decision? Especially getting away from the family ties, so to speak. Clint: (05:56) You know, out of generations of living it pretty much…That's what I grew up doing was living as a correction office's son. That's what I was always exposed to. Coming out of that, I really feel like it was one of the best decisions I've ever made because it wasn't for me. I couldn't stay stagnant and that's what was hard for me working in the prisons was working at the same place day in, day out. Having that routine, doing the counts at a certain time, feeding these inmates and the sense of entitlement. Having to deal with them there as well.

Ashlie:

Something funny happens when an individual works their way up through the ranks so to speak. And I say that because you were a correctional officer for several years and then you decided to make the change and you became a police officer and because of how daunting and difficult the two are in comparison, police being the one much more difficult than a correctional officer. You and I will often see correctional officers wearing their jumper suits or their uniforms just getting gas and almost showing off and doing it deliberately. We often make fun of them and no doubt they hold a purpose. We know that you were a correctional officer. Clint: (07:23) I used to be the one wearing my jumpsuit to the gas station but I think there's other reasons for me doing it as well. Ashlie: (07:34) So in looking back, and we don't need to get into the details about what police officers do versus what correctional officers do, but what are the key elements for you when it comes to your responsibility as it pertains to upholding the law as a police officer versus your limitations as a correction officer? Clint: (07:55) As a correctional officer, the only laws we would ever put into fact were if something were to happen within the prison. If it was a fight or a homicide or whatever it may have been. That's when we affected the laws. Other than that, we didn't do anything of the such the whole time I was there. I never had to go to court and I'm not saying that's not possible, but I never did. As a police officer, every day I'm arresting people for new offenses where the prisoners have already committed those offenses and are just serving their time until they are released. Ashlie: (08:45) What would you say the biggest differences working under a warden versus working under a police chief? Clint: (08:53) I spoke to the warden once in my entire career as a correctional officer and that was the day that I gave him my two week resignation. Yeah, and that was the only time I ever saw him or spoke to him. Where I'm at now, I see my police chief almost on a daily basis. One, because we kind of work the same schedule, but I'm in an environment where we work hand in hand in a lot of occasions because of his involvement with the community. Also, what he sees as the vision for our department. He gets more involved in reference to it. Ashlie: (09:42) Do you think that's pretty typical for the warden to not have that much interaction with the correctional officers in the prison? Clint: (09:49) I really don't know. I can't recall my brother or my dad or my grandpa ever having conversations with the warden. My Dad maybe more so because he was the vice president of their chapter of the Union. But other than that, I don't think it is a common thing. The wardens are on such a higher level when it comes to that. Most of the time they spend a lot of it up in Sacramento at our government's headquarters. Ashlie: (10:22) Yeah, that makes sense. And I would understand why those dynamics would exist and that disconnect in that would only be for the ability of being able to come back and then really serve the prison that they're in charge of. Clint: (10:40) Yeah. It's something where they're always having to figure out, dial in on the problems as a state, as a whole instead of just for their facility. Ashlie: (10:52) It's really important to point out that I don't believe that everybody who is a correctional officer can make that transition into being a police officer. And I say that because we've experienced that firsthand with your dad, your Grandpa, your uncle, your brother. Like, there are so many people that we know that have never made that change and that's not to discredit them in any regard. It's just merely that there is a huge difference between those two professions. And I know a lot of people mistakenly don't understand the difference between the two. And it's important to point out that each hold such a different space in what they're doing in order to serve the public, to serve the community. And there's nothing wrong or right about either one. And having that confidence to be able to know which one, if either of the two, you're willing to put forth your life on the line for. Ashlie: (11:45) Because essentially, that's the truth. When you come down to the bottom line of things, then you're really able to understand how important it is to have every piece of the puzzle. And it doesn't matter which piece you fall into and it's okay. And I love that you've experienced both sides of that because it allows us to see what that difference is and it gives you that sense of appreciation for both job positions. There are two completely different jobs all together. I think having that understanding in knowing that and really being able to dive into the dynamics and utilize the skills that you've acquired from having corrections in the first place, then you're really able to enjoy your Tactical Living.

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Ashlie: (00:17)
Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by LEO Warriors. I'm your host, Ashlie Walton.

Clint: (00:23)
And I'm your cohost Clint Walton.

Ashlie: (00:26)
In today's episode, we're going to talk about how a lot of officers have come and gone in your department Clint, but how the grass isn't always greener on the other side. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content.

Ashlie: (00:42)
Clint, your department in particular, I know especially after the recession, there's been a lot of financial turmoil. There's been a lot of officers that you've seen come and go as a result of that and I wonder if you could just take the listener through a little bit of what you've experienced during the process.

Clint: (01:03)
The biggest thing that I've experienced throughout this time is that we're just such a young department. Our department's been established and around for so many years and now I see all these new faces, all these young guys. There are the veterans. The senior officers are pretty much nonexistent and we're a busy department so it's kind of scary in some ways. But that goes down to the retention aspect of any police department. I've seen guys come and go and then some even come back because they actually see that the grass isn't greener on the other side.

Ashlie: (01:48)
I have to say we have personal experience with this because after the bankruptcy and after that chatter going on in your department, you also decided to seek out other agencies to see if the grass really was greener on the other side. You went through the process of applying with BNSF. We went through the entire process and I say we, because we had the detective here at our home and we've even talked about that before. You were even offered the job but you turn it down.

Clint: (02:24)
Yeah. After realizing that they're a great department…it just it wasn't for me. I didn't want to start all over and I think I finally had that realization of if I go somewhere else, it doesn't mean all the problems are going to be gone. There's always going to be insecurities. There's always going to be people you like, people you dislike, and the politics surrounding any police department can drive anybody. You could go somewhere for higher pay, better benefits, but does that really mean you're going to be happier there? And that's what I think a lot of guys think that will make them happier, but not all the time because a lot of times those guys aren't sure what they really want or they don't know what the true truth is behind why they're leaving. I know like 15 guys processing out with us right now to go to different departments and these aren't just new guys. These are guys with 12-15 years on.

Ashlie: (03:43)
We were talking about this a couple of days ago, how there are 17 people coming out of the academy right now and how you might even be pulled out of your detail because you're an FTO to help with training them.

Clint: (03:56)
Yeah. And that's going to take away from our team because there's not going to be anyone to cover necessarily what I do in my area. It's not a permanent problem, but it's something that for that timeframe, they're going to have to adapt to whatever it may be to help alleviate it. I mean, you go back three OR four years ago, we pretty much got rid of all of our details because of staffing levels. Now because of the retention rate, just going away again with use of budget that these guys are seeing that they're leaving for, but they don't even know the truths behind that. And I encourage any of you, if you're worried about budget concerns, actually talk to people who know and don't just go off of rumors because it's cancerous. It really is. It just will demoralize any department or any place of work.

Ashlie: (05:10)
So for those officers that you know of that are in the process right now of switching departments, is there any other reasoning behind that apart from what the gossip is inside of the department?

Clint: (05:24)
Well, there's always the disgruntled nature behind administration behind choices for details. Everything in the police department will have the politics. If you're not one of the in crowd, you're not going to get that spot. Which is not true. I mean, I used to think that until I actually started busting my ass to get to the position where I'm currently at, which I rightfully earned. I think it's easier to pass blame onto other people instead of accepting it yourself. And not in all cases but in some of the cases I believe that's what's happening now. Could there be better communication with administration to the patrol level? Absolutely. There always could be better communication, but at the same time that communication can also start spot fires that you just don't want to have to put out because it's that telephone game. One person hears it and one guy called off sick, so that person relays that message and it's not the correct information.

Ashlie: (06:43)
That goes back to the point that you made about having the willingness to take it upon yourself to seek out that information on your own. It's not always comfortable to go to the administration or to ask these types of questions, especially as an officer if you don't have a ranking and you're not necessarily in that scene on a day to day basis. It's not comfortable to do that. And I know how uncomfortable that is because I've seen you go through the motions of going up the ranks to get the information that you need for yourself. I just wonder Clint, from being in that situation yourself and even being in the process and having a position available to you with a different agency completely and then turning it down and seeing so many people who are in the same predicament and going through that same struggle, what advice would you give them on that type of decision?

Clint: (07:38)
Honestly, what it comes down to is trusting your gut instinct. I trusted my gut instinct in reference to that job and I wouldn't have it any other way. I've looked back at it from time to time and it always comes back to a no. There was too many cons in relation to that and especially for like BNSF who I was applying for. They have so many benefits and great incentives to work for. Most people wouldn't turn it down because it's a highly sought after job. For me it just wasn't calling to me. I enjoy what I do, where I do it and that's why I stay where I'm at and instead of removing myself from that instance to try helping those insecurities. I adapt to those insecurities and adjust to them to actually make myself work through them.

Ashlie: (08:44)
If an officer is deciding not to go through with the process of lateral transfer or seeking out a different agency and they're going to give their department one more shot, what advice would you give to them?

Clint: (08:59)
Really look deep within your own self about what it is that is truly the problem. If it's within yourself, see what you can do to fix it. If it's out of your hands and it's through, say, budget concerns or through communication or misinformation, seek the real answers behind it. Are there possibilities something can go wrong? Absolutely. But you'll never know if you don't stick with it and go through it.

Ashlie: (09:34)
I think that's really great advice. And I know as you listen, even if you're not a police officer or a first responder, we've all been there. We've all been in a situation where something within our place of work makes us unhappy. And it starts to create that doubt. And what it boils down to a lot of the time is turning inside and asking yourself, okay, what do I really want? And once you understand that, then you are able to put a why behind the how. Because if you don't have a reason why, there's no way for you to create that plan or whatever that strategy is to be able to drive you forward in the how. The how will always follow. And we don't always see that because we're too caught up in not having that ability to discover that why first. And I think once you're able to do that and you understand that a lot of times the answer that you seek is truly inside of you. If you're able to pause for a moment and just sit with it, then you're really able to enjoy your Tactical Living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics. 

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