Tactical Living

[Intro]

911 what's the nature of your emergency?

Ashlie: Welcome back to another episode of tactical living by Leo worriers. I'm your host Ashlie Walton.

Clint: And I'm your co-host Clint Walton.

Ashlie: For today's episode I want to talk about how opposites attract. Why that might be difficult in a relationship. But the gifts that we found from that in our own marriage. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content. Now to preface this, I want to tell you that just now before I hit the record button Clint leaned over and gave me a kiss and I thought it very fitting because what you might not know is that when we record together, typically Clint has no idea what we're about to discuss.

Clint: I have absolutely no clue anytime.

Ashlie: And I have to do that on purpose because for Clint it's not as easy to just talk organically and on the fly like it is for some people. And that's not to bash him. It's just to really point out the fact that if we were to have some prewritten skit Clint would try to really like audition what it was that we had just gone over and I know this because we've tried content like that in the past.

Clint: And I sound like a robot.

Ashlie: It's true. And I thought it was really sweet me knowing fully what we were about to talk about and him leaning over and kissing me like that before we even started recording. Because since day one when I met Clint, there has hardly been a single thing starting from that time even to this day that are similar about us. The only things that I know for sure are our ideal allergies on life, our morals and our ethics, how genuine our heart is and how we live our lives always to try to place ourselves in the shoes of other people and our desire to really want to endlessly give back more than what we receive. We are not some matters here. I am just pointing out to you the qualities that I know that he and I are in alignment with and I'm starting it off on a positive note that way because this is going to take a completely different turn.

Clint: I'm ready.

Ashlie: Because apart from those there is nothing about Clinton I that are the same. We don't share the same taste in music, hell we don't even share the same volume of music. Our driving styles and speeds are completely different. Our interests, our hobbies, tv shows, books, like name something and there isn't any quality about our interests and our disinterest that align. Everything is different and in the beginning of our relationship I wondered if that would cause a problem. I like rock, I like very loud rock. I like very loud rock when I'm driving very fast in my truck.

Clint: And I'm completely the opposite of, you just give me some low-level real country music, not this new pop country but real you know George strait something like that and the volume you can just barely hear.

Ashlie: While he's driving five miles an hour down the road.

Clint: It's the safest way to drive.

Ashlie: And I really thought that if two people are so different how could they be so compatible. As our relationship started to blossom and it started to turn into something else, I started to realize how opposites really do attract and it dawned on me that the reason that they do attract requires the ability of the other person to give a little, to show some sacrifice and to show some genuine interest in what it is that's important to the other person. My first true test to this was when Clint invited me to go out on a deep-sea fishing trip with him and his family. I never thought that I would be stuck in the middle of the ocean with squid ink all over my body. Scales that I had to rinse off or I think a week.

Clint: She was like a mermaid with scales coming out of everywhere. And this whole story with the fishing was something that she's never been on a boat in the middle of the ocean fishing and just seeing her willing to try that meant so much to me with knowing how important fishing is to me.

Ashlie: And I remember creating all these stories in my head before we went, all the reasons why I wasn't going to like fishing. I get carsick so of course I'm going to get seasick. I like to be clean. So of course I'm going to hate being dirty in the middle of an ocean. I'm not going to catch anything; I don't want to catch anything. What happens if I do catch something? I'm going to be around all these stinky men. I'm not going to enjoy myself.

Clint: And that was just the start of this adventure with fishing and luckily on our first trip together I was able to get her dad and brothers to go, so she would also feel a little bit more comfortable.

Ashlie: And the most amazing thing happened because as soon as Clint showed me how to fish and he taught me how to feel the end of my line, so I can gauge it bouncing up and down on the bottom of the ocean floor. I started to feel this connection to fishing and this trip in particular was special because I kid you not as soon as all of us put our lines in the water and touch the ground of the ocean. We all caught hundreds and hundreds of fish that day. It was an incredible trip. Because I remember feeling so much excitement just to see what the next person brought up from the ocean.

I mean there is these incredible looking fish I've never seen before and it was intriguing it might sound disgusting, but to see the fish like throw up all their guts and their eyes popping out from the change and elevation so quickly and the most special thing happened on our way back in from that trip and I remember I was standing at the front of the boat by myself and I was looking at these two dolphins and they were just bouncing up and down out of the water. Of course being in the middle of the ocean like that it's just amazingly beautiful to watch the water glistening and bouncing off of the sky with the sun shining and you can see the dew from the water coming off of the side of the boat and it was just beautiful and I was just enjoying that.

I had never experienced marine life like that in real life and then I remember the captain asking me if I really liked that. And I look up at him and he said because if you really like that, just wait a second and he turns off the boat and in a matter of 30 seconds we were surrounded by an entire school of thousands of dolphins and I know that might sound eccentric but it was thousands of dolphins. I was so happy I want to cry right now and just reliving that moment. I looked all around the boat and the dolphins were enjoying the company of the boat in the middle of the ocean and they stayed there with us for a good 10 minutes and we just watched them just dancing up and down out of the water. Everybody pointing out the little baby dolphins to me knowing how excited it was for me to experience to this and we got to see there was actually a couple different kinds of dolphins in this school and it was just so special and probably something I mean I would I can only hope to experience again in my life.

But by me taking the chance and allowing myself to enjoy something that Clint found so special, not only did it allow me to really be immersed in his world, but it actually gave me a new love, a new hobby. Since then we've gone on dozens of fishing trips. I've won the jackpot fishing on a boat with nothing but a bunch of big smelly men and I experience something new every time we go and the best part for me is when I catch something or even if I'm just there just standing alone on the side of the boat and I'm fishing. Clint looks over at me and I could tell he's so happy with me experiencing life in his world based on one of his own passions and as you sit there maybe you can think of something like your own spouse or even a family member has asked you to share interest in and maybe you've pushed them away.

Maybe you've pushed them away because you've told yourself these stories about why it doesn't suit you. But when you stop for a moment and you recognize the fact that, that's not the point. It doesn't have to suit you. What does have to suit you is your willingness to explore your relationship with that person in a way that becomes more intimate with them by showing a little bit of commitment and willingness to explore a part of their world and who knows you might even find a gift in it yourself. And as you sit there, I hope that you can think of that one person, that one person who's asked you to do something with them. The one who you might keep brushing off time and time again and maybe reach out to them, catch them by surprise. Ask them to go do that one thing that they've been inviting you to do for the longest time. And when you're willing to be open and you're willing to explore new possibilities. The gifts on the backside are what will really allow you to enjoy your tactical living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics.

Hit that subscribe button so that you don't miss a day of the added value that I am dedicated to sharing with you weekly.

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Website: www.leowarriors.com

[Intro]

911, what’s the nature of your emergency? 

Ashlie: Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by LEO Warriors. I'm your host Ashlie Walton. 

Clint: And I’m your co-host, Clint Walton. 

Ashlie: In today's episode, we’re going to talk about how regardless of what you're trying to advance with, your mindset is key…and in particular for Clint, how different his mindset is NOW compared to the last time that he tried to test for a detective and how he's about to go through this journey again, only this time with a different mindset.

Clint: That's so important and I’m glad we're talking about this subject. Because before, I let my nerves always get the best of me and I’m going into this with a completely open mind and not really having the nerves that I did before. 

Ashlie: So baby for the listener, take us through the journey of what you've tried to accomplish in your past and where your mindset was.

Clint: Well my mindset, it's always been just study, learn a huge amount of information over time and see if we could really dial in what I need to have to prepare myself. You know the process is very entailed.  There's about a five-step process. 

Ashlie: And we're talking about testing for detective.

Clint: Yeah. And in that process, it's… people say, you know testing for detective is harder than testing for higher positions in the department because it's like getting your foot in the door to that promotional process. And I’ve always looked at the entire situation of well they already know who they want to select. They already know what they want to hear and the questions are always open up for interpretation. And as I go through this process, I really understand the points of, yeah the questions are open for interpretation but if you present them in such a way of what they're looking for, you'll succeed. And I’ve always let the nerves get the best of me, like I’ve already said. And as I prepare for my interview, as I prepare for my written exam and my scenario that I have to do, I’m going in and I really realize I know all the information that they're going to ask me. I practice it on a daily basis and I just need to get out of my head and be present in this situation. 

Ashlie: So baby, before, we had spent together collectively and then you solely many many hours, many weekends in the past. You've tried to test for detective before. You didn't make the list. And this time you're going into this with a completely different mindset. So talk me through what the difference is between where you were trying to test the last time versus where you're at now.

Clint: You know, my mindset has always been I need to memorize all the subjects. I need to memorize my opening, my closing... just everything surrounding it. And the penal code book… it's huge. It's something that there is no way anyone can memorize the whole thing in a year's time. And as I look at this, I practice every day what I preach so to speak. Now, I just need to articulate that into the answers to my questions. And I’ve always tripped myself up by. I’ll memorize it and then the nerves get the best of me when I start trying to articulate it. And as I go into this process, I’m not memorizing anything. I'm going into it as I know the answers to the questions already and just letting the answers flow out. A lot of it has to do with just my mindset and how I’m approaching it and not letting the nerves get the best of me. But it's really something that I just need to speak clearly and get my message to them and I kind of am manipulating the situation into, you know… we do a lot of training when it comes to marketing and stuff like that. And there's a hook, story, offer mindset that I have used for everything and anything that we do. And so I’m using that with answering my questions. So I see what the question is and I see the exact terminology that they'll be looking for, but then I give them a story of how I’ve implemented that process for myself and then my offer is going to be why I’m the best candidate for the position. 

Ashlie: You’ve got to love some Russell Brunson. I think a lot of us don't always realize the fact that anywhere we're at in life, we are always sales people. I remember being a kid and using that hook, story, offer methodology when it came to trying to sell my dad on buying me a new toy or even letting me go out and stay a little bit later with friends. We're always selling something in our life. And when you hone in on that and you're able to start to pick up on the fact that you're actually doing it whether you realize it or not, you're able to get better at it. And as it pertains to the hook, story, offer, as you listen, if you're not familiar with that what the hook is,  pretend that you're scrolling through your Facebook and all the sudden you see something that catches your attention…so you scroll back on it for a second. And that hook could be something like a really bizarre picture or a really awesome picture or a headline that says something like, ‘See How Eating Fish Every Day Can Make You 20 Years Younger.’ You know something like that… is that true or is that not true? And it might get you to click on that button to further explore it and then in the story, the story goes on to talk about all the different ways using examples. And same as Clint said as it pertains to testing for detective, all the ways that he's implemented what they're asking him to do in the position of a detective in his daily work anyways without that title yet. And then in the offer, it's the best reasons why he's most applicable for this job and in doing the offer in a way that you're not comparing yourself with anybody else but you're showcasing like, you get me and I have this. But on top of that I’m going to give you bonus bonus bonus bonus, to where somebody is stupid for not choosing that particular offer, and not that anybody interviewing you is going to be stupid. But in the real world with the hook, story, offer, like you would be foolish not to take advantage of this low-cost offer because you're not just getting that one thing. That one thing comes with all these amazing bonuses.

Clint:  And that's exactly how I’m going to sell it. In selling like you said. We do it in every day no matter what we live, whatever we experience. And that's what people are attracted to. And that's what I’m utilizing.

Ashlie: I think that can go along the lines of anything like not just in your career, but I mean, I use that example of being a kid. But there's been so many times where I think you've had to do this a little bit more than me to you, where you try to sell me on an idea of something. 

Clint: Like my truck.

Ashlie: Exactly. Tell the story about that. That was a good one. Actually I was really proud of you. You literally like created this presentation to give it to me beforehand. 

Clint: Apart from having a PowerPoint, I think if we would have had a whiteboard at the time, I would have drawn it out for you too. So I wanted the truck. I saw this truck. I was like man I really want that and I only had my previous vehicle for a certain amount of time; maybe a year or two, and we are like, I don't need a new vehicle. So one day, I go to the dealership and I sit down with the general manager and actually start talking to him and explaining to him the process that I’m going through. I want to get a killer deal on this because I need to sell this to my wife. So if we can come to a number that we both agree on, great. So after maybe an hour or two of talking and just you know shooting the shit but also negotiating on the price, we got to a number. And so, when you got home from work that day, I had all the numbers because you're very analytical and you like to see numbers. And I had everything drawn out exactly how you would want to look at it. You don't care about why I needed.

Ashlie: And I didn't care about all these extra features or that it had these bigger tires and the lift… and I am like okay so what? 

Clint: You just wanted to see the numbers make sense and that's what I knew would sell you on it. And so I did the whole cost analysis and the payments and I articulated everything to speak to you on the numbers wise where after you heard my probably 20-minute presentation of why I needed this truck and why I needed to trade in my jeep, I sold you on it. 

Ashlie: And not only that but the trick with this whole process is, and in Clint’s case, it's a perfect example, is he was able to solve every objection that I would give to him beforehand to where by the end of what his view was, I literally had no reason to tell him, no you can't do this or no I don't think it's a good idea and this is why. I had no counter objection to everything that you presented to me.

Clint: And what's funny is this is before I even had that mindset of hook, story, offer. Dealing with trying to sell things to you in a certain way. I just knew what you'd be looking for and how I needed to approach it. 

Ashlie: It's a perfect example of how that plays into our day to day when we don't even realize that it's happening, but in identifying that and using that as a perfect example, it's easier to hone in on okay who am I selling something to? What is that something? How can this benefit them and what objections can I prove false before they even have a chance to say no to, regardless of how I end this, they would be foolish not to tell me yes. And when you're able to do that and you understand that this works in nearly every area of your life as you're communicating with other people, I can think of many times that we've sold one another on huge vacations that we've wanted to do internationally. Name something. It will work in almost every area. And just by identifying that and even practicing it, you'll get better and better at it. And as it pertains to advancing in your career, all you need to do is really focus in on what objective you have, what it is that you want, who you're trying to sell it to, the ways that make you stand out from other people and in doing that you can pick apart all the different things that make you such a variable in comparison to everybody else or everything else, that you don't ever need to say oh well I’m better than so-and-so because. It just organically lets you appear that way and you're being completely honest. There's nothing manipulative about how you're presenting it. It's just you're presenting it much smarter than most people do. And by really queuing in on the fact that you're able to use this tool in every area of your life, then you're able to see yourself excel and ultimately get the things that you want and start to make some waves in your own world. And when you're able to do that and you're able to take in this sense of knowing that you own that power for yourself and use this as a tool that you practice consistently to where it's without effort by the time you really practice is enough to where it becomes natural for you, then you're really able to enjoy your Tactical Living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics. 

Hit that subscribe button so that you don’t miss a day of the added value that I am dedicated to sharing with you weekly. 

Let’s Connect! 

Facebook 

Instagram 

Email: [email protected] 

LinkedIn 

Website: www.leowarriors.com

[Intro]

911, what's the nature of your emergency?

Ashlie: Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by LEO Warriors. I'm your host Ashlie Walton.

Clint: And I'm your co-host, Clint Walton.

Ashlie: In today's episode, we're going to talk about how regardless of what you're trying to advance with, your mindset is key…and in particular for Clint, how different his mindset is NOW compared to the last time that he tried to test for a detective and how he's about to go through this journey again, only this time with a different mindset.

Clint: That's so important and I'm glad we're talking about this subject. Because before, I let my nerves always get the best of me and I'm going into this with a completely open mind and not really having the nerves that I did before.

Ashlie: So baby for the listener, take us through the journey of what you've tried to accomplish in your past and where your mindset was.

Clint: Well my mindset, it's always been just study, learn a huge amount of information over time and see if we could really dial in what I need to have to prepare myself. You know the process is very entailed. There's about a five-step process.

Ashlie: And we're talking about testing for detective.

Clint: Yeah. And in that process, it's… people say, you know testing for detective is harder than testing for higher positions in the department because it's like getting your foot in the door to that promotional process. And I've always looked at the entire situation of well they already know who they want to select. They already know what they want to hear and the questions are always open up for interpretation. And as I go through this process, I really understand the points of, yeah the questions are open for interpretation but if you present them in such a way of what they're looking for, you'll succeed. And I've always let the nerves get the best of me, like I've already said. And as I prepare for my interview, as I prepare for my written exam and my scenario that I have to do, I'm going in and I really realize I know all the information that they're going to ask me. I practice it on a daily basis and I just need to get out of my head and be present in this situation.

Ashlie: So baby, before, we had spent together collectively and then you solely many many hours, many weekends in the past. You've tried to test for detective before. You didn't make the list. And this time you're going into this with a completely different mindset. So talk me through what the difference is between where you were trying to test the last time versus where you're at now.

Clint: You know, my mindset has always been I need to memorize all the subjects. I need to memorize my opening, my closing... just everything surrounding it. And the penal code book… it's huge. It's something that there is no way anyone can memorize the whole thing in a year's time. And as I look at this, I practice every day what I preach so to speak. Now, I just need to articulate that into the answers to my questions. And I've always tripped myself up by. I'll memorize it and then the nerves get the best of me when I start trying to articulate it. And as I go into this process, I'm not memorizing anything. I'm going into it as I know the answers to the questions already and just letting the answers flow out. A lot of it has to do with just my mindset and how I'm approaching it and not letting the nerves get the best of me. But it's really something that I just need to speak clearly and get my message to them and I kind of am manipulating the situation into, you know… we do a lot of training when it comes to marketing and stuff like that. And there's a hook, story, offer mindset that I have used for everything and anything that we do. And so I'm using that with answering my questions. So I see what the question is and I see the exact terminology that they'll be looking for, but then I give them a story of how I've implemented that process for myself and then my offer is going to be why I'm the best candidate for the position.

Ashlie: You've got to love some Russell Brunson. I think a lot of us don't always realize the fact that anywhere we're at in life, we are always sales people. I remember being a kid and using that hook, story, offer methodology when it came to trying to sell my dad on buying me a new toy or even letting me go out and stay a little bit later with friends. We're always selling something in our life. And when you hone in on that and you're able to start to pick up on the fact that you're actually doing it whether you realize it or not, you're able to get better at it. And as it pertains to the hook, story, offer, as you listen, if you're not familiar with that what the hook is, pretend that you're scrolling through your Facebook and all the sudden you see something that catches your attention…so you scroll back on it for a second. And that hook could be something like a really bizarre picture or a really awesome picture or a headline that says something like, 'See How Eating Fish Every Day Can Make You 20 Years Younger.' You know something like that… is that true or is that not true? And it might get you to click on that button to further explore it and then in the story, the story goes on to talk about all the different ways using examples. And same as Clint said as it pertains to testing for detective, all the ways that he's implemented what they're asking him to do in the position of a detective in his daily work anyways without that title yet. And then in the offer, it's the best reasons why he's most applicable for this job and in doing the offer in a way that you're not comparing yourself with anybody else but you're showcasing like, you get me and I have this. But on top of that I'm going to give you bonus bonus bonus bonus, to where somebody is stupid for not choosing that particular offer, and not that anybody interviewing you is going to be stupid. But in the real world with the hook, story, offer, like you would be foolish not to take advantage of this low-cost offer because you're not just getting that one thing. That one thing comes with all these amazing bonuses.

Clint: And that's exactly how I'm going to sell it. In selling like you said. We do it in every day no matter what we live, whatever we experience. And that's what people are attracted to. And that's what I'm utilizing.

Ashlie: I think that can go along the lines of anything like not just in your career, but I mean, I use that example of being a kid. But there's been so many times where I think you've had to do this a little bit more than me to you, where you try to sell me on an idea of something.

Clint: Like my truck.

Ashlie: Exactly. Tell the story about that. That was a good one. Actually I was really proud of you. You literally like created this presentation to give it to me beforehand.

Clint: Apart from having a PowerPoint, I think if we would have had a whiteboard at the time, I would have drawn it out for you too. So I wanted the truck. I saw this truck. I was like man I really want that and I only had my previous vehicle for a certain amount of time; maybe a year or two, and we are like, I don't need a new vehicle. So one day, I go to the dealership and I sit down with the general manager and actually start talking to him and explaining to him the process that I'm going through. I want to get a killer deal on this because I need to sell this to my wife. So if we can come to a number that we both agree on, great. So after maybe an hour or two of talking and just you know shooting the shit but also negotiating on the price, we got to a number. And so, when you got home from work that day, I had all the numbers because you're very analytical and you like to see numbers. And I had everything drawn out exactly how you would want to look at it. You don't care about why I needed.

Ashlie: And I didn't care about all these extra features or that it had these bigger tires and the lift… and I am like okay so what?

Clint: You just wanted to see the numbers make sense and that's what I knew would sell you on it. And so I did the whole cost analysis and the payments and I articulated everything to speak to you on the numbers wise where after you heard my probably 20-minute presentation of why I needed this truck and why I needed to trade in my jeep, I sold you on it.

Ashlie: And not only that but the trick with this whole process is, and in Clint's case, it's a perfect example, is he was able to solve every objection that I would give to him beforehand to where by the end of what his view was, I literally had no reason to tell him, no you can't do this or no I don't think it's a good idea and this is why. I had no counter objection to everything that you presented to me.

Clint: And what's funny is this is before I even had that mindset of hook, story, offer. Dealing with trying to sell things to you in a certain way. I just knew what you'd be looking for and how I needed to approach it.

Ashlie: It's a perfect example of how that plays into our day to day when we don't even realize that it's happening, but in identifying that and using that as a perfect example, it's easier to hone in on okay who am I selling something to? What is that something? How can this benefit them and what objections can I prove false before they even have a chance to say no to, regardless of how I end this, they would be foolish not to tell me yes. And when you're able to do that and you understand that this works in nearly every area of your life as you're communicating with other people, I can think of many times that we've sold one another on huge vacations that we've wanted to do internationally. Name something. It will work in almost every area. And just by identifying that and even practicing it, you'll get better and better at it. And as it pertains to advancing in your career, all you need to do is really focus in on what objective you have, what it is that you want, who you're trying to sell it to, the ways that make you stand out from other people and in doing that you can pick apart all the different things that make you such a variable in comparison to everybody else or everything else, that you don't ever need to say oh well I'm better than so-and-so because. It just organically lets you appear that way and you're being completely honest. There's nothing manipulative about how you're presenting it. It's just you're presenting it much smarter than most people do. And by really queuing in on the fact that you're able to use this tool in every area of your life, then you're able to see yourself excel and ultimately get the things that you want and start to make some waves in your own world. And when you're able to do that and you're able to take in this sense of knowing that you own that power for yourself and use this as a tool that you practice consistently to where it's without effort by the time you really practice is enough to where it becomes natural for you, then you're really able to enjoy your Tactical Living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics.

Hit that subscribe button so that you don't miss a day of the added value that I am dedicated to sharing with you weekly.

Let's Connect!

Facebook

Instagram

Email: [email protected]

LinkedIn

Website: www.leowarriors.com

[Intro]

911, what’s the nature of your emergency? 

Ashlie: Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by Leo worriers. I'm your host Ashlie Walton. 

Clint: And I’m your co-host Clint Walton. 

Ashlie: In today's episode we're going to talk about how being a police officer and sharing some of the stories that you have might not have the same impact on you as they do on me as the wife of a police officer. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content. I can remember a night very vividly when Clint came home. And he shared a story with me that he held on to until he got home that night and it's a story that he's telling me so naturally. And we had the lights out because we were watching tv at the same time.

And I remember just pouring tears down my cheeks while trying to remain silent the entire time that you're telling me this story and I don't think it was until you were done telling the story that you realized that I was on the verge of sobbing based on what you were talking to me about and it was so emotional for me that I had to call my dad. Because that same emotion that was evoked in me, I didn't receive in reciprocation from you and I needed immediately in that moment to talk to somebody who would understand how the story that you just shared had such a major impact. And really a wakeup call to me being your family and based on my dad's reaction also to him being your family. So baby if you can go back to that night and maybe try to recall the story as you remember it. 

Clint: Well it was normal day. You know I worked in special detail. Me and my partner were asked to go help our detectives go do knock and talk at a house because a deputy's gun and duty belt were actually stolen out of this car in our city. And they had located one of those off duty weapons as well in another area of our city and we tied it back to a specific mobile home on the west side of our city. And so after briefing about it you know we didn't have a search warrant. We were just going to go talk to the people there and find out what happened or if they knew of anything surrounding that incident. So me and my partner arrive at the mobile home and knock on the door and a mom answers and she greets us, and she was very nice and allowed us to come in and the detectives came in with us. Now that we had the mobile home secured. 

We didn't clear the whole thing it didn't appear as though anyone else was inside. So just the mom and her three-year-old little daughter who is in the back bedroom watching cartoons. Which we allow that to happen, we don't want to scare the little girl to think of you know us as bad people. So the detectives start interviewing the mom asking where her husband or boyfriend at the time was and she said she didn't know and it just kind of progressed from there. Where they further asked well. Did you see any you know like belts that looked like ours. And we pointed to our duty belts and or firearms and started really talking about a gun and specifically the deputy's gun that was stolen.

And she told us she did recognize it, but she didn't know where she had seen one of those from. So at this point she started getting pretty uncooperative with us and not answering any questions. So we wanted to make sure that there was no one else inside the mobile home. And as me and my partner walked to the far end of the mobile home, it was almost like a t hallway where the hallway runs parallel and then you have a room on the left and a room on the right. So as we're walking to the room, I see the 3-year-old little girl coming out of the bedroom holding a gun. And it was pointed right at my face. And her finger was on the trigger.

And I just calmly talked to her. I mean my gun was out, but I’m not going to shoot a 3-year-old little girl who's holding a gun at me, because she doesn't have a clue what's even going on. And I just started quietly talking to the little girl and approached her and I was able to luckily secure the gun. I twisted it out of her hand so her finger couldn't pull the trigger while I was doing it and I secured it. And then my partner grabbed the little girl and just calmly carried her over to her mom. And at that point my partner and I finished clearing the room to make sure now that there was no one else hiding inside the mobile home. And we located the duty belt and another firearm as well as all the equipment on that deputy's duty belt. At this point we're all secure.

Where we know what just happened. The firearm secure, all the ammo was secure. And I make the weapon safe. Excuse me, which means I take out the magazine and I lock the slide back. And when I did that, I realized there was a round in the chamber as well. Just like most police officers carry their weapons. We always have one in the chamber. And that's when it kind of struck me as, wow if she would have pulled that I could have easily been dead and my partner who was right by me thought the same thing and we both had like a oh shit moment when that happened. And then one of our other partners realized everything that just transpired, and she went off on the mom and we call her mama bear now just because of how she went off on him. And one of the detectives was inside at the time and we immediately take the mom into custody for child endangerment and secure the deputy's equipment. And at that time you know it was shocking to us just to realize that the 3-year-old little girl who we didn't pay any attention to, she was just watching cartoons in the back could have just taken one of our lives.

And after the fact people say, oh well she didn't have the power to pull the trigger which I believe is absolute bullshit. Because a lot of guns nowadays you can pull a trigger very easily when there's one already in the chamber. And that's when that like adrenaline rush kind of kicked in like, wow I could have just got shot right there. And this is just one of many instances in which I’ve had those close calls on. But that one specifically struck out because we talked about it. We debriefed it afterwards just me and my partner and we go, man we were so fortunate that it turned out the way it did. Because it could have gotten way worse. And we recognize the fact that I mean, yeah, she could have only gotten one round.

But I was literally looking down the barrel of the gun when I was making the approach to her and I didn't want to scare her. I didn't want to freak her out. She was just kind of going off probably what she was taught from her parents. So later on after the fact the detectives started talking about the story and how it happened to them too and it was funny to see how the story transpired after that. But that's really what happened to my partner and I on that day and it was a very eye-opening experience. I've learned from that dramatically and I don't like kids just sit and watch cartoons in those instances anymore.

Ashlie: So two things here. The first thing that sticks out to me with you recounting that story to me for the first time since that night when you told me about it to begin with, how unfortunate it is that we live in a society regardless of what profession we're in where people feel the need to take ownership of some sort of badge of honor during a situation like that. That's number one. Because you and your partner were the only ones in that hallway. And yet other people felt the need to really fallacy the fact that they were there too.

Clint: What's kind of funny with that is, actually that story made national headlines. And in this story, it says detectives were faced with this predicament and it didn't talk about us who were just officers. That could have been just a typo or whatever else it maybe. 

Ashlie: It could have been. A number two, I feel like the way that you're telling this story now is actually resonating with you quite a bit deeper than it did that first time you told it to me. And maybe there's some sort of growth and development that's happened since then. 

And I think for me I’ve been involved in so many other incidents now that I can really sit back and analyze them on more of a personal basis to see how it could affect me and to recognize those and address those, so it doesn't affect me long term. 

Ashlie: And as scary as that is and how uncomfortable it was to hear that story both times, for me listening to you compared that story with other things you've experienced it sounds like you're reflecting on the fact that you learned from that mistake and I would bet to guess that you've probably made sure that even if it's just a three year old girl down the hallway watching cartoons, that you still take that as another human who could potentially cause you harm.

Clint: Yeah. That's something that I don't mess around with and anybody who tells me otherwise, I will tell them no. And I take that situation and address it how I need to address it.

Ashlie: And I think it's important to point out that even in something as hostile as this situation could have wound up, I mean call it what it is there is a good chance that you would have been justified had you decided to pull your own trigger in a deadly situation like that. You were in a deadly situation and it's one of those instances where you really had to use your own judgment as an officer and as a human being to decide what you wanted to do in that moment.

Clint: Yeah. And the judgment call is not only one based off of my own safety. It was just straight, could I live with myself if I were to just say shoot the little girl. Which I would have been justified. It would have been a whole horrible nightmare media wise and everything. But in justification, I could have done it. 

Ashlie: And I want to point out that I remember us having this conversation that night and me having to rebuttal what you just said with the fact of how would I have felt knowing that this 3 year old girl was some deadbeat parents just took the life of my husband and my husband sacrificed her life in return for it. How selfish would I be to feel that way? And as the wife of a police officer, like I don't care. And that's the honest truth. I am so proud of you for making that decision. It's one that not a lot of officers may have sided with and in that moment, in that adrenaline, that heat of things that could have gone like one of two ways and you decided to go with option number one. And I know that for me as the spouse of you I don't know how I would have felt in knowing that that little girl had she pulled the trigger took your life and then I had to deal and live with that.

That humbling decision that you made, and I think it's one of the struggles as a spouse that we face. And that's just me being blatantly honest. Like I don't give a shit about the 3-year-old girl. I give a shit about you. I will never meet her. I want to see your face every day when you come home. But I think that as an officer it's only you that has the ability to make those split-second decisions with your own judgment. And it makes me really glad to know that you do work in a city that's active enough to where you get the kinds of experience on a routine basis to be able to further instill really the strength and the mental muscle power that's needed in order to make the best possible split decision for yourself if something like that ever happened again.

And I think no matter what you do in your profession, by having the ability to just practice your strengths and to practice what it is that you do for a living in a way that showcases your own interest in what you do every day for work, then you're able to better prepare yourself for these moments of I need to decide now what I’m going to do. Because this could affect my life and the life of many other people if I don't choose the right thing and in knowing that you have the power to do that and that a lot of times all that you can do is based on your own experience allows you to put yourself in a situation to where you can try to grow more of that experience.

Maybe that means signing up for overtime, maybe that means taking extra classes. Sure it sucks nobody likes to do that on the nights or weekends. But those are the types of things that we need to do in order to grow and to move forward and to better prepare ourselves for these types of moments. And when you allow yourself to expand in that capacity, then that's really how you're able to enjoy your tactical living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics. 

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[Intro]

911, what's the nature of your emergency?

Ashlie: Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by Leo worriers. I'm your host Ashlie Walton.

Clint: And I'm your co-host Clint Walton.

Ashlie: In today's episode we're going to talk about how being a police officer and sharing some of the stories that you have might not have the same impact on you as they do on me as the wife of a police officer. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content. I can remember a night very vividly when Clint came home. And he shared a story with me that he held on to until he got home that night and it's a story that he's telling me so naturally. And we had the lights out because we were watching tv at the same time.

And I remember just pouring tears down my cheeks while trying to remain silent the entire time that you're telling me this story and I don't think it was until you were done telling the story that you realized that I was on the verge of sobbing based on what you were talking to me about and it was so emotional for me that I had to call my dad. Because that same emotion that was evoked in me, I didn't receive in reciprocation from you and I needed immediately in that moment to talk to somebody who would understand how the story that you just shared had such a major impact. And really a wakeup call to me being your family and based on my dad's reaction also to him being your family. So baby if you can go back to that night and maybe try to recall the story as you remember it.

Clint: Well it was normal day. You know I worked in special detail. Me and my partner were asked to go help our detectives go do knock and talk at a house because a deputy's gun and duty belt were actually stolen out of this car in our city. And they had located one of those off duty weapons as well in another area of our city and we tied it back to a specific mobile home on the west side of our city. And so after briefing about it you know we didn't have a search warrant. We were just going to go talk to the people there and find out what happened or if they knew of anything surrounding that incident. So me and my partner arrive at the mobile home and knock on the door and a mom answers and she greets us, and she was very nice and allowed us to come in and the detectives came in with us. Now that we had the mobile home secured.

We didn't clear the whole thing it didn't appear as though anyone else was inside. So just the mom and her three-year-old little daughter who is in the back bedroom watching cartoons. Which we allow that to happen, we don't want to scare the little girl to think of you know us as bad people. So the detectives start interviewing the mom asking where her husband or boyfriend at the time was and she said she didn't know and it just kind of progressed from there. Where they further asked well. Did you see any you know like belts that looked like ours. And we pointed to our duty belts and or firearms and started really talking about a gun and specifically the deputy's gun that was stolen.

And she told us she did recognize it, but she didn't know where she had seen one of those from. So at this point she started getting pretty uncooperative with us and not answering any questions. So we wanted to make sure that there was no one else inside the mobile home. And as me and my partner walked to the far end of the mobile home, it was almost like a t hallway where the hallway runs parallel and then you have a room on the left and a room on the right. So as we're walking to the room, I see the 3-year-old little girl coming out of the bedroom holding a gun. And it was pointed right at my face. And her finger was on the trigger.

And I just calmly talked to her. I mean my gun was out, but I'm not going to shoot a 3-year-old little girl who's holding a gun at me, because she doesn't have a clue what's even going on. And I just started quietly talking to the little girl and approached her and I was able to luckily secure the gun. I twisted it out of her hand so her finger couldn't pull the trigger while I was doing it and I secured it. And then my partner grabbed the little girl and just calmly carried her over to her mom. And at that point my partner and I finished clearing the room to make sure now that there was no one else hiding inside the mobile home. And we located the duty belt and another firearm as well as all the equipment on that deputy's duty belt. At this point we're all secure.

Where we know what just happened. The firearm secure, all the ammo was secure. And I make the weapon safe. Excuse me, which means I take out the magazine and I lock the slide back. And when I did that, I realized there was a round in the chamber as well. Just like most police officers carry their weapons. We always have one in the chamber. And that's when it kind of struck me as, wow if she would have pulled that I could have easily been dead and my partner who was right by me thought the same thing and we both had like a oh shit moment when that happened. And then one of our other partners realized everything that just transpired, and she went off on the mom and we call her mama bear now just because of how she went off on him. And one of the detectives was inside at the time and we immediately take the mom into custody for child endangerment and secure the deputy's equipment. And at that time you know it was shocking to us just to realize that the 3-year-old little girl who we didn't pay any attention to, she was just watching cartoons in the back could have just taken one of our lives.

And after the fact people say, oh well she didn't have the power to pull the trigger which I believe is absolute bullshit. Because a lot of guns nowadays you can pull a trigger very easily when there's one already in the chamber. And that's when that like adrenaline rush kind of kicked in like, wow I could have just got shot right there. And this is just one of many instances in which I've had those close calls on. But that one specifically struck out because we talked about it. We debriefed it afterwards just me and my partner and we go, man we were so fortunate that it turned out the way it did. Because it could have gotten way worse. And we recognize the fact that I mean, yeah, she could have only gotten one round.

But I was literally looking down the barrel of the gun when I was making the approach to her and I didn't want to scare her. I didn't want to freak her out. She was just kind of going off probably what she was taught from her parents. So later on after the fact the detectives started talking about the story and how it happened to them too and it was funny to see how the story transpired after that. But that's really what happened to my partner and I on that day and it was a very eye-opening experience. I've learned from that dramatically and I don't like kids just sit and watch cartoons in those instances anymore.

Ashlie: So two things here. The first thing that sticks out to me with you recounting that story to me for the first time since that night when you told me about it to begin with, how unfortunate it is that we live in a society regardless of what profession we're in where people feel the need to take ownership of some sort of badge of honor during a situation like that. That's number one. Because you and your partner were the only ones in that hallway. And yet other people felt the need to really fallacy the fact that they were there too.

Clint: What's kind of funny with that is, actually that story made national headlines. And in this story, it says detectives were faced with this predicament and it didn't talk about us who were just officers. That could have been just a typo or whatever else it maybe.

Ashlie: It could have been. A number two, I feel like the way that you're telling this story now is actually resonating with you quite a bit deeper than it did that first time you told it to me. And maybe there's some sort of growth and development that's happened since then.

And I think for me I've been involved in so many other incidents now that I can really sit back and analyze them on more of a personal basis to see how it could affect me and to recognize those and address those, so it doesn't affect me long term.

Ashlie: And as scary as that is and how uncomfortable it was to hear that story both times, for me listening to you compared that story with other things you've experienced it sounds like you're reflecting on the fact that you learned from that mistake and I would bet to guess that you've probably made sure that even if it's just a three year old girl down the hallway watching cartoons, that you still take that as another human who could potentially cause you harm.

Clint: Yeah. That's something that I don't mess around with and anybody who tells me otherwise, I will tell them no. And I take that situation and address it how I need to address it.

Ashlie: And I think it's important to point out that even in something as hostile as this situation could have wound up, I mean call it what it is there is a good chance that you would have been justified had you decided to pull your own trigger in a deadly situation like that. You were in a deadly situation and it's one of those instances where you really had to use your own judgment as an officer and as a human being to decide what you wanted to do in that moment.

Clint: Yeah. And the judgment call is not only one based off of my own safety. It was just straight, could I live with myself if I were to just say shoot the little girl. Which I would have been justified. It would have been a whole horrible nightmare media wise and everything. But in justification, I could have done it.

Ashlie: And I want to point out that I remember us having this conversation that night and me having to rebuttal what you just said with the fact of how would I have felt knowing that this 3 year old girl was some deadbeat parents just took the life of my husband and my husband sacrificed her life in return for it. How selfish would I be to feel that way? And as the wife of a police officer, like I don't care. And that's the honest truth. I am so proud of you for making that decision. It's one that not a lot of officers may have sided with and in that moment, in that adrenaline, that heat of things that could have gone like one of two ways and you decided to go with option number one. And I know that for me as the spouse of you I don't know how I would have felt in knowing that that little girl had she pulled the trigger took your life and then I had to deal and live with that.

That humbling decision that you made, and I think it's one of the struggles as a spouse that we face. And that's just me being blatantly honest. Like I don't give a shit about the 3-year-old girl. I give a shit about you. I will never meet her. I want to see your face every day when you come home. But I think that as an officer it's only you that has the ability to make those split-second decisions with your own judgment. And it makes me really glad to know that you do work in a city that's active enough to where you get the kinds of experience on a routine basis to be able to further instill really the strength and the mental muscle power that's needed in order to make the best possible split decision for yourself if something like that ever happened again.

And I think no matter what you do in your profession, by having the ability to just practice your strengths and to practice what it is that you do for a living in a way that showcases your own interest in what you do every day for work, then you're able to better prepare yourself for these moments of I need to decide now what I'm going to do. Because this could affect my life and the life of many other people if I don't choose the right thing and in knowing that you have the power to do that and that a lot of times all that you can do is based on your own experience allows you to put yourself in a situation to where you can try to grow more of that experience.

Maybe that means signing up for overtime, maybe that means taking extra classes. Sure it sucks nobody likes to do that on the nights or weekends. But those are the types of things that we need to do in order to grow and to move forward and to better prepare ourselves for these types of moments. And when you allow yourself to expand in that capacity, then that's really how you're able to enjoy your tactical living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics.

Hit that subscribe button so that you don't miss a day of the added value that I am dedicated to sharing with you weekly.

Let's Connect!

Facebook

Instagram

Email: [email protected]

LinkedIn

Website: www.leowarriors.com

[Intro]

911, what’s the nature of your emergency? 

Ashlie: Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by Leo warriors. I'm your host to Ashlie Walton. 

Clint: And I’m your co-host Clint Walton. 

Ashlie: Today's episode is one that has stemmed from our last episode. When we were talking about the irony of how I overcame one of my fears and that really brought up some emotion and some thought on another time when fear was prompted based on Clint something you experienced. So for today just go ahead and sit back, relax and enjoy today's content. 

Clint: So this is kind of a funny fear story for me. It stems kind of around the whole dead body theme. I was at work one time then I just started my shift and one of my day shift partners had got dispatched to a dead body call on the west side of our city and it was funny because I saw him heading there and it was out of my area and I had a ride along that day. So I was like you know what I’m going to show this right along something that really get to experience and it's not all the time, but it's something that is regular and unfortunately someone lost a loved one that day. It wasn't a homicide or a suicide or anything drastic like that. It was just a natural death. Well I cancelled my partner and started heading over to the scene. I told my ride along I go this is kind of what you can expect, and this is what you should and shouldn't do. Just stay with me and you'll be okay.

So we get to the house of course there's numerous family members there. They're all distraught and very much so I mean they just lost one of their grandparents. And I see the body on the floor. He was in almost like a fetal position and I didn't really understand that, but it was interesting to see because if he was on the floor I didn't understand why he was in that position and he was already, the rigor mortis had already set in so his bones were locked into place and knees were up to his chest his elbows were kind of down towards his knees and they had covered him with a sheet. 

So I started talking with the family members and to figure out what occurred, and they told me you know he decided take a nap in his wheelchair. So he sat in his wheelchair and he hunched over and put his head in his hands and fell asleep and never woke up. So when they called our police dispatch they, our dispatch told them you know the CPR procedures but he'd already been diseased for some time so there was really no point in I think after they put him on the floor they realized that and so after finding that out, I was pretty felt okay with saying okay it's a natural death. Because we have to rule that out any foul play.

And so my sergeant gets there, and we look at the body make sure there was no obvious signs of trauma or anything like that. And I speak with the family. I always try to be you know caring and compassionate towards them and understanding that they just lost a loved one. In my most professional demeanor I told the family I’m going to go outside to call the coroner and see if we get a transport team to take the body out of the house.

Ashlie: So baby I just want to ask. Just because the only time that I’ve ever experienced you know losing my mom, losing anybody.

We never had to call out the police. So you know we had everything kind of preset up with knowing we just call the coroner, no law enforcement was involved. So at what point is law enforcement involved?

Clint: We were only involved because in instances like your mom she was on hospice. If there is hospice care, we don't have to respond. But if there's no, if it's kind of a sudden natural death. The police always had to go out there to rule out any foul play. And that's kind of what we were there to do that day.

Ashlie: So if a family member lost a loved one and they're not on hospice and let's say they knew that like their family member might pass away soon, if they proceed with just calling the corner, does the coroner contact law enforcement?

Clint: No we have to respond. They would have to get a hold of us to respond because we have to be the ones that actually call the coroner.

Ashlie: So if the family didn't call law enforcement does the coroner ask that question like have you already contacted law enforcement? 

Clint: No because they wouldn't have an access number to get a hold of the corner. 

Ashlie: Well anybody can like look like for a mortuary let's say like you contact your mortuary and then like how does somebody know that you need to call.

Clint: So yeah if you were to call a mortuary then they would ask if they're on hospice or if law enforcement or the coroner had been advised already.

Ashlie: And they would direct you to contact law enforcement had you not already. 

Clint: Yes. It's kind of one of those situations where and unfortunately in those instances most people don't know what to do.

Ashlie: Yeah, I had no idea. That's why I was asking.

Clint: Yeah. And those are great questions because anyone who has never had to experience that wouldn't know. But most people call 911 immediately anyways. Because they don't know, well maybe they're still alive or maybe there's something that they can do to help the situation if medical aid or the fire department or someone was to respond. Just like for us we have the, I can't pronounce somebody dead. The fire department actually has to come there to pronounce him dead even though we know without a doubt most time. 

So as I was going to go outside to call the coroner and I covered the body back up and the family sitting in kind of a side room, I separated them from the body and explained to them you know you don't need to sit here and stare at your deceased grandparent because it's not going to help your situation at all just given their response. In some instances I don't mind about it. In that specific instance I didn't want that to be a factor. So my ride along starts walking out the door and we're maybe 20 feet from the door from where the body was and I start walking away and no one's around me and I feel something tugging on my leg and I didn't know what it was at first and then I felt a tug a lot harder as I tried pulling my leg away and I saw the body chasing after me. 

And I jumped. I swear I’d felt like 10 feet in the air, but it was only a few feet and I saw the body coming after me still. And this is right in the heart of the whole zombie craze that's going on in the world at the time and I uncover the body and I realized my foot got wrapped in the sheet that the body was covered and wrapped in and I almost just screamed out loud almost pulled out my gun to give it a shot to the head, because I thought that it was a zombie. It literally scared the crap out of me.

I can count on a handful of times how many times I’ve actually been scared at work and that was one of them and me doing that spooked my ride along and he booked it outside, and I was just like what the fuck just happened. And the whole family staring at me like what is going on over there? And I quickly composed myself and I go, I’m really sorry my foot got caught in this sheet and I covered the body back up and I continue just to walk outside. I sit in my patrol car. 

Ashlie: With your thumper heart. 

Clint: With my heart pounding out of my chest and my ride along is already sitting in the car and I look at him and go, did you fucking see that? I thought it was a zombie and he's like, you scared the crap out of me, and I was just so like dumbstruck about what just happened that I couldn't even believe that.

Ashlie: So did a piece of you still think like maybe it was actually the grandfather and not your foot?

Clint: Yeah. Absolutely that guy is still alive I swear. So after I got a hold of the corner I go back inside and the bodies in the new position now because of the incident that occurred with me. I realized he was still down, he didn't move at all and it was and that's when I actually realized my foot had just got wrapped up in the sheet and he had chased that for me because of myself and so I checked on the family and I still remained composed with them and afterwards I told my sergeant what happened and he's a good friend and he just laughed at me and he goes, you know Clint it's just something that happens. 

Ashlie: So baby do you think that a part of you maybe isn't as comfortable or numb to being around this kind of environment as you maybe thought, because things like that can happen and do happen and did happen. 

Clint: Well and that goes into my whole fear with it. It's no one, one, I don't know the person. I never had that connection with individuals who I’ve seen deceased. Whether suicide, homicide or just natural death. And there is that fear of zombies coming after me. And it's something where you know if I can avoid touching the dead body in all instances I will. If I don’t have to lift him, carry him, do any of the such I’ll avoid it at all cost. And that's just because it's almost I would say fear, but it kind of grosses me out too. Because I’ve seen some pretty nasty ones.

And you know in developing this time in this fear, because think about it have you as the listener ever had to deal with an instance where you had to touch a dead body, move it. Where you touch the top of its skull and you see it push back out with maggots inside. It's very gross but that's something that we do as police officers on a regular basis. So we have to do our job still. And you work through your fear with that, but you turn it into well it's just part of my job, I have to do it.

Ashlie: Oh baby. I think it's great having that mindset of understanding that you know these are just nuances of working as a first responder and that doesn't discredit the fact that you're still human and it's not in our human makeup to be exposed to and certainly not to have to handle a deceased body. And although there is definitely some humor to that. It definitely opens my eyes to the fact that you are still human despite wearing that badge and carrying a gun every day. It doesn't take away from the fact that there are some pieces of all of us that are uncomfortable. And rightfully so in these types of circumstances.

Clint: In with saying what you do said is people have this conception of police officers really that's what you're getting paid for, so you have to do it. That's absolutely true. And we do what we have to do because that's what we're getting paid for. That doesn't mean we have to enjoy it while we're doing it, or we look forward to having those instances.

Ashlie: Absolutely. And I think having you know this happened to you where whether you were aware of it or not, subconsciously there was a part of you that maybe was walking around on eggshells so much that like you dropped the glass and it shattered. We've all been there before, and this is probably one of those worst examples of that happening and by still having the ability to be overly vigilant I suppose in situations like this. Really allows you to kind of take a step back and realize that there is no peace of humanity that makes you any different than anybody else and certainly in your conditioning makes it a little bit easier for you to be able to handle situations like that.

But that doesn't discredit the fact that you and I may have responded quite similarly in how we felt being in the presence of you know somebody dying like that and by understanding that, sometimes no matter how much conditioning you go through and no matter how much mental wrap you take day in and day out there are always going to be pieces of you that still bring you back to the baseline of everybody else and that doesn't make you any less than. It just brings awareness to the fact that no one, this is something that I’m going to use as a tool to be able to use next time around as a police officer there will certainly be next times around where you might be in a similar situation and maybe you'll watch your feet a little bit more.

Clint: And every one I respond to know I’m always overly cautious so that doesn't happen again.

Ashlie: Exactly. And I think having these sort of inadvertently high stress situations like that, these uncomfortable situations going into it, it allows you to really develop who you are and to be able to later better serve the community that you're working with and when you're able to realize that no matter how tough you think you are or how skilled in a particular area, there's always room for improvement and the only way for you to improve is by putting yourself in situations that are uncomfortable. That allow you to challenge yourself and to maybe get you out of your comfort zone.

And when you're able to do that as much as you can, then you're able to grow in ways that you maybe never would have realized that you could and by growing and constantly shaking ourselves up in a way that allow us to face the challenge head on and to be humble enough to understand that I’m not the best at this and I will never be the best, but I’m the best that I can be today based on the skills and the knowledge and the experience that I have thus far. Then you're really able to enjoy your tactical living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics. 

Hit that subscribe button so that you don’t miss a day of the added value that I am dedicated to sharing with you weekly. #LEOWarriors

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[Intro]

911, what's the nature of your emergency?

Ashlie: Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by Leo warriors. I'm your host to Ashlie Walton.

Clint: And I'm your co-host Clint Walton.

Ashlie: Today's episode is one that has stemmed from our last episode. When we were talking about the irony of how I overcame one of my fears and that really brought up some emotion and some thought on another time when fear was prompted based on Clint something you experienced. So for today just go ahead and sit back, relax and enjoy today's content.

Clint: So this is kind of a funny fear story for me. It stems kind of around the whole dead body theme. I was at work one time then I just started my shift and one of my day shift partners had got dispatched to a dead body call on the west side of our city and it was funny because I saw him heading there and it was out of my area and I had a ride along that day. So I was like you know what I'm going to show this right along something that really get to experience and it's not all the time, but it's something that is regular and unfortunately someone lost a loved one that day. It wasn't a homicide or a suicide or anything drastic like that. It was just a natural death. Well I cancelled my partner and started heading over to the scene. I told my ride along I go this is kind of what you can expect, and this is what you should and shouldn't do. Just stay with me and you'll be okay.

So we get to the house of course there's numerous family members there. They're all distraught and very much so I mean they just lost one of their grandparents. And I see the body on the floor. He was in almost like a fetal position and I didn't really understand that, but it was interesting to see because if he was on the floor I didn't understand why he was in that position and he was already, the rigor mortis had already set in so his bones were locked into place and knees were up to his chest his elbows were kind of down towards his knees and they had covered him with a sheet.

So I started talking with the family members and to figure out what occurred, and they told me you know he decided take a nap in his wheelchair. So he sat in his wheelchair and he hunched over and put his head in his hands and fell asleep and never woke up. So when they called our police dispatch they, our dispatch told them you know the CPR procedures but he'd already been diseased for some time so there was really no point in I think after they put him on the floor they realized that and so after finding that out, I was pretty felt okay with saying okay it's a natural death. Because we have to rule that out any foul play.

And so my sergeant gets there, and we look at the body make sure there was no obvious signs of trauma or anything like that. And I speak with the family. I always try to be you know caring and compassionate towards them and understanding that they just lost a loved one. In my most professional demeanor I told the family I'm going to go outside to call the coroner and see if we get a transport team to take the body out of the house.

Ashlie: So baby I just want to ask. Just because the only time that I've ever experienced you know losing my mom, losing anybody.

We never had to call out the police. So you know we had everything kind of preset up with knowing we just call the coroner, no law enforcement was involved. So at what point is law enforcement involved?

Clint: We were only involved because in instances like your mom she was on hospice. If there is hospice care, we don't have to respond. But if there's no, if it's kind of a sudden natural death. The police always had to go out there to rule out any foul play. And that's kind of what we were there to do that day.

Ashlie: So if a family member lost a loved one and they're not on hospice and let's say they knew that like their family member might pass away soon, if they proceed with just calling the corner, does the coroner contact law enforcement?

Clint: No we have to respond. They would have to get a hold of us to respond because we have to be the ones that actually call the coroner.

Ashlie: So if the family didn't call law enforcement does the coroner ask that question like have you already contacted law enforcement?

Clint: No because they wouldn't have an access number to get a hold of the corner.

Ashlie: Well anybody can like look like for a mortuary let's say like you contact your mortuary and then like how does somebody know that you need to call.

Clint: So yeah if you were to call a mortuary then they would ask if they're on hospice or if law enforcement or the coroner had been advised already.

Ashlie: And they would direct you to contact law enforcement had you not already.

Clint: Yes. It's kind of one of those situations where and unfortunately in those instances most people don't know what to do.

Ashlie: Yeah, I had no idea. That's why I was asking.

Clint: Yeah. And those are great questions because anyone who has never had to experience that wouldn't know. But most people call 911 immediately anyways. Because they don't know, well maybe they're still alive or maybe there's something that they can do to help the situation if medical aid or the fire department or someone was to respond. Just like for us we have the, I can't pronounce somebody dead. The fire department actually has to come there to pronounce him dead even though we know without a doubt most time.

So as I was going to go outside to call the coroner and I covered the body back up and the family sitting in kind of a side room, I separated them from the body and explained to them you know you don't need to sit here and stare at your deceased grandparent because it's not going to help your situation at all just given their response. In some instances I don't mind about it. In that specific instance I didn't want that to be a factor. So my ride along starts walking out the door and we're maybe 20 feet from the door from where the body was and I start walking away and no one's around me and I feel something tugging on my leg and I didn't know what it was at first and then I felt a tug a lot harder as I tried pulling my leg away and I saw the body chasing after me.

And I jumped. I swear I'd felt like 10 feet in the air, but it was only a few feet and I saw the body coming after me still. And this is right in the heart of the whole zombie craze that's going on in the world at the time and I uncover the body and I realized my foot got wrapped in the sheet that the body was covered and wrapped in and I almost just screamed out loud almost pulled out my gun to give it a shot to the head, because I thought that it was a zombie. It literally scared the crap out of me.

I can count on a handful of times how many times I've actually been scared at work and that was one of them and me doing that spooked my ride along and he booked it outside, and I was just like what the fuck just happened. And the whole family staring at me like what is going on over there? And I quickly composed myself and I go, I'm really sorry my foot got caught in this sheet and I covered the body back up and I continue just to walk outside. I sit in my patrol car.

Ashlie: With your thumper heart.

Clint: With my heart pounding out of my chest and my ride along is already sitting in the car and I look at him and go, did you fucking see that? I thought it was a zombie and he's like, you scared the crap out of me, and I was just so like dumbstruck about what just happened that I couldn't even believe that.

Ashlie: So did a piece of you still think like maybe it was actually the grandfather and not your foot?

Clint: Yeah. Absolutely that guy is still alive I swear. So after I got a hold of the corner I go back inside and the bodies in the new position now because of the incident that occurred with me. I realized he was still down, he didn't move at all and it was and that's when I actually realized my foot had just got wrapped up in the sheet and he had chased that for me because of myself and so I checked on the family and I still remained composed with them and afterwards I told my sergeant what happened and he's a good friend and he just laughed at me and he goes, you know Clint it's just something that happens.

Ashlie: So baby do you think that a part of you maybe isn't as comfortable or numb to being around this kind of environment as you maybe thought, because things like that can happen and do happen and did happen.

Clint: Well and that goes into my whole fear with it. It's no one, one, I don't know the person. I never had that connection with individuals who I've seen deceased. Whether suicide, homicide or just natural death. And there is that fear of zombies coming after me. And it's something where you know if I can avoid touching the dead body in all instances I will. If I don't have to lift him, carry him, do any of the such I'll avoid it at all cost. And that's just because it's almost I would say fear, but it kind of grosses me out too. Because I've seen some pretty nasty ones.

And you know in developing this time in this fear, because think about it have you as the listener ever had to deal with an instance where you had to touch a dead body, move it. Where you touch the top of its skull and you see it push back out with maggots inside. It's very gross but that's something that we do as police officers on a regular basis. So we have to do our job still. And you work through your fear with that, but you turn it into well it's just part of my job, I have to do it.

Ashlie: Oh baby. I think it's great having that mindset of understanding that you know these are just nuances of working as a first responder and that doesn't discredit the fact that you're still human and it's not in our human makeup to be exposed to and certainly not to have to handle a deceased body. And although there is definitely some humor to that. It definitely opens my eyes to the fact that you are still human despite wearing that badge and carrying a gun every day. It doesn't take away from the fact that there are some pieces of all of us that are uncomfortable. And rightfully so in these types of circumstances.

Clint: In with saying what you do said is people have this conception of police officers really that's what you're getting paid for, so you have to do it. That's absolutely true. And we do what we have to do because that's what we're getting paid for. That doesn't mean we have to enjoy it while we're doing it, or we look forward to having those instances.

Ashlie: Absolutely. And I think having you know this happened to you where whether you were aware of it or not, subconsciously there was a part of you that maybe was walking around on eggshells so much that like you dropped the glass and it shattered. We've all been there before, and this is probably one of those worst examples of that happening and by still having the ability to be overly vigilant I suppose in situations like this. Really allows you to kind of take a step back and realize that there is no peace of humanity that makes you any different than anybody else and certainly in your conditioning makes it a little bit easier for you to be able to handle situations like that.

But that doesn't discredit the fact that you and I may have responded quite similarly in how we felt being in the presence of you know somebody dying like that and by understanding that, sometimes no matter how much conditioning you go through and no matter how much mental wrap you take day in and day out there are always going to be pieces of you that still bring you back to the baseline of everybody else and that doesn't make you any less than. It just brings awareness to the fact that no one, this is something that I'm going to use as a tool to be able to use next time around as a police officer there will certainly be next times around where you might be in a similar situation and maybe you'll watch your feet a little bit more.

Clint: And every one I respond to know I'm always overly cautious so that doesn't happen again.

Ashlie: Exactly. And I think having these sort of inadvertently high stress situations like that, these uncomfortable situations going into it, it allows you to really develop who you are and to be able to later better serve the community that you're working with and when you're able to realize that no matter how tough you think you are or how skilled in a particular area, there's always room for improvement and the only way for you to improve is by putting yourself in situations that are uncomfortable. That allow you to challenge yourself and to maybe get you out of your comfort zone.

And when you're able to do that as much as you can, then you're able to grow in ways that you maybe never would have realized that you could and by growing and constantly shaking ourselves up in a way that allow us to face the challenge head on and to be humble enough to understand that I'm not the best at this and I will never be the best, but I'm the best that I can be today based on the skills and the knowledge and the experience that I have thus far. Then you're really able to enjoy your tactical living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics.

Hit that subscribe button so that you don't miss a day of the added value that I am dedicated to sharing with you weekly. #LEOWarriors

Let's Connect!

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LinkedIn

Website: www.leowarriors.com

[Intro]

911, what’s the nature of your emergency? 

Ashlie: Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by Leo worriers. I'm your host Ashlie Walton. 

Clint: And I’m your co-host Clint Walton. 

Ashlie: For today's episode we're going to talk about the first time I saw a dead body on the streets. How dead bodies were one of my biggest fears and how years later I would overcome that fear. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content. Now I managed a pediatric practice for 12 years. Talked about this before, get to work at five o'clock in the morning by myself every day. And one morning while I was driving to work it was a little bit different. I remember it was shortly after daylight savings time.

I remember that because the way that the sun was coming up in the morning just a little bit as I was maybe two blocks away from the office and driving to work and I get stopped at a stoplight and I look over to my right and there is this embankment and right above that embankment there's this 24 hour del taco and right next to that there's a giant parking lot that is home to a very popular bar in that city and I don't know what made me glance over. But when I looked over, I could see a body lying in the center of that embankment and I kind of spanned my vision a little bit further wondering if there's somebody around this person.

And I realized that because the sun was just breaking that I was probably the first person to even notice that this person was laying on the side of the road. And I guess the side of the road on the side of the embankment. Now in retrospect I probably should not have gone on with my life in fear. Maybe I should have called somebody. But in my mind at that moment I was thinking this is one of the busiest streets in our area. And certainly if somebody else is going to call to report this if they hadn't already. I knew that it was a dead person. I was ninety five percent sure that this was a dead body on the side of the road and with my fear level at the time there was certainly no way I was going to stop.

And I also didn't want to get involved in having to talk to anybody about that. My fear of dead bodies was so exemplified at that point that there's was no part of that, that I wanted anything to do with. So in true actually fashion I called Clint and nearly tearful because that's how afraid I was, and I started creating all these stories in my mind. Of course this person must have been murdered and somebody just threw them on the side of the road, and I hate getting to the office this early in the morning, I’m all by myself. I work next to a block of section 8 homes and I have to park in an alleyway next to a gas station.

Like it gets worse and worse right. And for weeks I remember just being petrified every morning I would go to the office and I don't know if I was more fearful of the thought of seeing something like that again or something like that crossing my own path. And one day Clint just so happened to meet up with somebody who works at our local agency when he was at a prison one day. 

Clint: Yeah. And he told me that he was familiar with that incident too and so it was really interesting just to see the dynamic that played out from there. Because you know he told me it was you know a transient that drank too much and he had some type of medical emergency. There was no foul play. There was nothing out of the ordinary around it. And so as soon as I got out of jail, I called Ashlie and I told her in hopes that maybe it would ease her fears a little bit about that whole situation. 

Ashlie: And part of me was happy that this person wasn't murdered. But of course it was tragic that somebody had to die. He actually apparently stumbled and hit his head on one of the rocks going down that embankment and that led up to his demise. But that still didn't curb the fear that I had going to work every day. And that lasted for a good six months or so.

Clint: Yeah. You had almost an anxiety about it for some time where is just built up and built up based on the stories that you know you had you created within your head and just your fear alone of having the dead body so near to you, even though you didn't get so close. But seeing it, witnessing it. You didn’t really never witness anything like that before.

Ashlie: Not at all. Not apart from going to a funeral. That's the only time I’ve ever been around a dead body.

Clint: And that's a completely different dynamic and that's something for like me being a police officer and seeing that stuff I’ve seen it so much unfortunately that I’m almost numb to it. 

Ashlie: And so that fear lasted up until four and a half years ago, not that same I can't drive to work kind of immobility fear but the fear of not wanting to even see a dead body like in a movie. Like we all have that thing. I mean if you're afraid of snakes, maybe you fear snakes being under your bed or spiders in your bedroom or in the bathtub. There's something that most of us are afraid of. Clint's afraid of heights. 

Clint: Terrified. 

Ashlie: And we start to create these stories around those fears that actually help to magnify those fears based on what we're allowing reality to be for ourselves when it's not reality at all. And there came a point in my life when my mom got sick and I knew she had; her prognosis was going to be about nine months. And it was actually nine months almost to the day. And from a lot of self-work and talking with a lot of medical professionals you know managing a pediatric office at the time and being so close to the doctor that I had worked with and having her really helped to facilitate my mental train of thought in grieving my mom's death before it even happened. 

As you sit there maybe that sounds morbid, but in reality when you know that the demise of a loved one is coming, I don't think there's any greater gift that I could have been given than to allow myself to process that to fully be there and in the moment to help her and support her when she needed it.

Clint: And it wasn't only that. You had to be the rock for your brothers and your dad as well to be that foundation so they could crumble because they weren't prepared for it.

Ashlie: Right. And during that time there was this point where I remember thinking the way that I was nurturing my mom during her death is almost very similar to the way that you nurture a baby after they're born and you take care of that baby in the same way I was taking care of my mom and in doing that and me fully being aware and understanding that I was doing this to support her during her death, there was this acceptance that started to grow in me. This acceptance of knowing I’m going to lose my mom, like I knew she was going to be dying and by doing that and having the emotional strength to be able to sort of prepare for that moment, in retrospect there was no piece of that, that I felt fearful of. None at all. I wasn't afraid of having to be there when my mom died. Of course it's hard to talk about.

Clint: Absolutely and your strength throughout the whole thing was absolutely amazing.  And showing your love for your mom and not only conquering that fear that you had at the time but completely throwing it to the side in help of your mom.

Ashlie: And I think a part of that might have also been. It wasn't like bam! My mom just died. It was botching like the process of a human body dying and maybe that played a role in me getting over that fear. And it also being somebody close to me. But in looking back at it, like never once maybe even until now did I think about being afraid of that or not being able to be there for that. And I was so fortunate because during the day when it happened, I had my sister in law here and she's a registered nurse and she really helped to sort of guide the process and talked very openly and candidly with me about what to expect and what to experience. And mind you during that whole time I was prompting her with questions.

She was like now Ashlie when she dies, I’m going to remove the catheter. Like she wasn't going through that nature of it. It was me prompting her like I needed to know so that I can continue to mentally prepare myself. I needed to know what to expect. And in that moment, I don't know how to explain it, but I knew that day that my mom was going to die. There's a lot of factors that play into that being educated and understanding her mapping and just exactly where she was in her current state.

When I got the phone call just seeing exactly where her vitals were. I remember driving home very slowly that day from work. It was probably around 10:00 in the morning and mentally preparing myself for like this is the day. I know it's going to happen now and almost walking myself through the motions and the imagery of like what my dad's going to look like when it happens. Like what are the boys going to experience when it happens and not so much caring about myself and my own feelings about it. Because I had come to terms with it. Like I had already accepted that long before anybody else in the family ever could or even had the capacity to do that. And in that moment, it was just my mom, my sister in law and I in the room and I knew exactly when she was going to die.

I knew, excuse me it's really hard to get this out but we're going to keep going. I knew exactly when the time came when I was going to watch her take her last breaths and instead of it scaring me, I remember thinking almost instantly that having the ability to pay witness to that and to be with her when she took her last breath, it was the biggest privilege of my life. And there's no fear that comes with that.

There's every opposite emotion, there's gratitude, there's love. And instead of me using that moment as this negative replay in my mind, I’m able to use that really as strength empowered to be able to understand just how beautiful life is. But by fully embracing that you can't understand that beauty without accepting the fact of death. Maybe my mom had prefaced this. But while she was sick one of the moments when we're just like snuggling in bed together, she just told me very calmly like Ashlie it's just the process of life, like plain and simple.

And I never would have thought that going through something like that especially so personally on the backside of that that I would overcome a fear like being afraid of dead bodies and I think that when you're able to use something so tragic and we hear it all the time, but everything does happen for a reason and it requires you to sometimes take a step back and look at yourself and the whole reality of it to be able to pick out those gifts and when you're able to do that, even in the most tragic and darkest of times then you're really able to enjoy your tactical living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics. 

Hit that subscribe button so that you don’t miss a day of the added value that I am dedicated to sharing with you weekly. #LEOWarriors

Let’s Connect! 

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Email: [email protected] 

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Website: www.leowarriors.com

[Intro]

911, what's the nature of your emergency?

Ashlie: Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by Leo worriers. I'm your host Ashlie Walton.

Clint: And I'm your co-host Clint Walton.

Ashlie: For today's episode we're going to talk about the first time I saw a dead body on the streets. How dead bodies were one of my biggest fears and how years later I would overcome that fear. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content. Now I managed a pediatric practice for 12 years. Talked about this before, get to work at five o'clock in the morning by myself every day. And one morning while I was driving to work it was a little bit different. I remember it was shortly after daylight savings time.

I remember that because the way that the sun was coming up in the morning just a little bit as I was maybe two blocks away from the office and driving to work and I get stopped at a stoplight and I look over to my right and there is this embankment and right above that embankment there's this 24 hour del taco and right next to that there's a giant parking lot that is home to a very popular bar in that city and I don't know what made me glance over. But when I looked over, I could see a body lying in the center of that embankment and I kind of spanned my vision a little bit further wondering if there's somebody around this person.

And I realized that because the sun was just breaking that I was probably the first person to even notice that this person was laying on the side of the road. And I guess the side of the road on the side of the embankment. Now in retrospect I probably should not have gone on with my life in fear. Maybe I should have called somebody. But in my mind at that moment I was thinking this is one of the busiest streets in our area. And certainly if somebody else is going to call to report this if they hadn't already. I knew that it was a dead person. I was ninety five percent sure that this was a dead body on the side of the road and with my fear level at the time there was certainly no way I was going to stop.

And I also didn't want to get involved in having to talk to anybody about that. My fear of dead bodies was so exemplified at that point that there's was no part of that, that I wanted anything to do with. So in true actually fashion I called Clint and nearly tearful because that's how afraid I was, and I started creating all these stories in my mind. Of course this person must have been murdered and somebody just threw them on the side of the road, and I hate getting to the office this early in the morning, I'm all by myself. I work next to a block of section 8 homes and I have to park in an alleyway next to a gas station.

Like it gets worse and worse right. And for weeks I remember just being petrified every morning I would go to the office and I don't know if I was more fearful of the thought of seeing something like that again or something like that crossing my own path. And one day Clint just so happened to meet up with somebody who works at our local agency when he was at a prison one day.

Clint: Yeah. And he told me that he was familiar with that incident too and so it was really interesting just to see the dynamic that played out from there. Because you know he told me it was you know a transient that drank too much and he had some type of medical emergency. There was no foul play. There was nothing out of the ordinary around it. And so as soon as I got out of jail, I called Ashlie and I told her in hopes that maybe it would ease her fears a little bit about that whole situation.

Ashlie: And part of me was happy that this person wasn't murdered. But of course it was tragic that somebody had to die. He actually apparently stumbled and hit his head on one of the rocks going down that embankment and that led up to his demise. But that still didn't curb the fear that I had going to work every day. And that lasted for a good six months or so.

Clint: Yeah. You had almost an anxiety about it for some time where is just built up and built up based on the stories that you know you had you created within your head and just your fear alone of having the dead body so near to you, even though you didn't get so close. But seeing it, witnessing it. You didn't really never witness anything like that before.

Ashlie: Not at all. Not apart from going to a funeral. That's the only time I've ever been around a dead body.

Clint: And that's a completely different dynamic and that's something for like me being a police officer and seeing that stuff I've seen it so much unfortunately that I'm almost numb to it.

Ashlie: And so that fear lasted up until four and a half years ago, not that same I can't drive to work kind of immobility fear but the fear of not wanting to even see a dead body like in a movie. Like we all have that thing. I mean if you're afraid of snakes, maybe you fear snakes being under your bed or spiders in your bedroom or in the bathtub. There's something that most of us are afraid of. Clint's afraid of heights.

Clint: Terrified.

Ashlie: And we start to create these stories around those fears that actually help to magnify those fears based on what we're allowing reality to be for ourselves when it's not reality at all. And there came a point in my life when my mom got sick and I knew she had; her prognosis was going to be about nine months. And it was actually nine months almost to the day. And from a lot of self-work and talking with a lot of medical professionals you know managing a pediatric office at the time and being so close to the doctor that I had worked with and having her really helped to facilitate my mental train of thought in grieving my mom's death before it even happened.

As you sit there maybe that sounds morbid, but in reality when you know that the demise of a loved one is coming, I don't think there's any greater gift that I could have been given than to allow myself to process that to fully be there and in the moment to help her and support her when she needed it.

Clint: And it wasn't only that. You had to be the rock for your brothers and your dad as well to be that foundation so they could crumble because they weren't prepared for it.

Ashlie: Right. And during that time there was this point where I remember thinking the way that I was nurturing my mom during her death is almost very similar to the way that you nurture a baby after they're born and you take care of that baby in the same way I was taking care of my mom and in doing that and me fully being aware and understanding that I was doing this to support her during her death, there was this acceptance that started to grow in me. This acceptance of knowing I'm going to lose my mom, like I knew she was going to be dying and by doing that and having the emotional strength to be able to sort of prepare for that moment, in retrospect there was no piece of that, that I felt fearful of. None at all. I wasn't afraid of having to be there when my mom died. Of course it's hard to talk about.

Clint: Absolutely and your strength throughout the whole thing was absolutely amazing. And showing your love for your mom and not only conquering that fear that you had at the time but completely throwing it to the side in help of your mom.

Ashlie: And I think a part of that might have also been. It wasn't like bam! My mom just died. It was botching like the process of a human body dying and maybe that played a role in me getting over that fear. And it also being somebody close to me. But in looking back at it, like never once maybe even until now did I think about being afraid of that or not being able to be there for that. And I was so fortunate because during the day when it happened, I had my sister in law here and she's a registered nurse and she really helped to sort of guide the process and talked very openly and candidly with me about what to expect and what to experience. And mind you during that whole time I was prompting her with questions.

She was like now Ashlie when she dies, I'm going to remove the catheter. Like she wasn't going through that nature of it. It was me prompting her like I needed to know so that I can continue to mentally prepare myself. I needed to know what to expect. And in that moment, I don't know how to explain it, but I knew that day that my mom was going to die. There's a lot of factors that play into that being educated and understanding her mapping and just exactly where she was in her current state.

When I got the phone call just seeing exactly where her vitals were. I remember driving home very slowly that day from work. It was probably around 10:00 in the morning and mentally preparing myself for like this is the day. I know it's going to happen now and almost walking myself through the motions and the imagery of like what my dad's going to look like when it happens. Like what are the boys going to experience when it happens and not so much caring about myself and my own feelings about it. Because I had come to terms with it. Like I had already accepted that long before anybody else in the family ever could or even had the capacity to do that. And in that moment, it was just my mom, my sister in law and I in the room and I knew exactly when she was going to die.

I knew, excuse me it's really hard to get this out but we're going to keep going. I knew exactly when the time came when I was going to watch her take her last breaths and instead of it scaring me, I remember thinking almost instantly that having the ability to pay witness to that and to be with her when she took her last breath, it was the biggest privilege of my life. And there's no fear that comes with that.

There's every opposite emotion, there's gratitude, there's love. And instead of me using that moment as this negative replay in my mind, I'm able to use that really as strength empowered to be able to understand just how beautiful life is. But by fully embracing that you can't understand that beauty without accepting the fact of death. Maybe my mom had prefaced this. But while she was sick one of the moments when we're just like snuggling in bed together, she just told me very calmly like Ashlie it's just the process of life, like plain and simple.

And I never would have thought that going through something like that especially so personally on the backside of that that I would overcome a fear like being afraid of dead bodies and I think that when you're able to use something so tragic and we hear it all the time, but everything does happen for a reason and it requires you to sometimes take a step back and look at yourself and the whole reality of it to be able to pick out those gifts and when you're able to do that, even in the most tragic and darkest of times then you're really able to enjoy your tactical living.

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[Intro]

911, what’s the nature of your emergency? 

Ashlie: Welcome back to another episode of tactical living by Leo warriors. I'm your host, Ashlie Walton. 

Clint: And I’m your co-host Clint Walton. 

Ashlie: For today's episode I want to talk about what guys really think about the amount of effort that girls put into themselves in order to look pretty. So just sit back, relax and enjoy the content. Clint and I just got back from a little mini trip to Las Vegas. And while we were there, I couldn't help but notice how many sore feet there were. And I say this from a place of me sitting at a machine and instead of paying attention as I’m pressing the button, I was looking at the feet and most importantly the area of the Achilles tendon.

For any girls listening you know that area that rubs like crazy on the back of a high heel. I saw girls with bandages. I even saw men with like sores behind their feet. And it's kind of funny because it brought me back to a place where that used to be me. I used to be the girl thinking that going to Vegas meant that I needed to get all dolled up in a way that made me think I looked pretty. But in reality, also made me really uncomfortable. And as I started noticing this it's one of those things where your attention starts to be directed to it more and more. So as the night went on and girls started to come out in their cute little black dresses, I started to notice the way that a lot of them were walking and coming from a girl's perspective it's something I can definitely relate to and understanding how uncomfortable it is to walk in high heels or these five inch wedges and they looked cute don't get me wrong.

But just by seeing the discomfort of them walking while they're trying to enjoy themselves, made me wonder what men actually think when us as women put forth so much effort, but yet we're not comfortable in what it is that we're walking around in or how we look even. So baby share with me maybe from your perspective how you feel or even how you felt when that would be me going to Vegas.

Clint: You know I think a lot of it comes from that sex appeal. You know men and women both want to have that sex appeal if they are going to the club or they want to have that feeling of looking good to appeal to whoever they're trying to appeal to. And I noticed too you know you always see women walking around the strip or just walking around hotels barefoot with their heels in their hands and it's a funny sight to see because you know they absolutely had to be uncomfortable the whole night they're wearing them.

How many times you see you guys walking around holding their shoes. It's not very often at all. But I think it all goes into that basic nature of us trying to peacock ourselves to show the opposite side of the sex or whoever you're trying to appeal to have that look. And I think it's something that we all have this appearance that we feel we need to keep up. But it really doesn't settle into our own happiness levels of what we want.

Ashlie: And also it boils down to where you're at in your life, I believe. Because in the beginning of our relationship I would get all dolled up, wear these completely ridiculous uncomfortable shoes and I would pretend like I’m enjoying myself when in reality I was suffering in pain based on my choice of attire or my shoe choice and then I got to this place where we got married of course and you get more comfortable with one another. And I don't want to say I’ve ever gotten to the point to where I don't put forth the effort to look good for you.

Clint: Absolutely not. You look beautiful every day.

Ashlie: Thank you baby. But to be honest Clint I don't do that for you. I love doing makeup. It is a craft of mine. And for me every morning it's always been something that I do that's very therapeutic for me. It might sound funny as you're listening to this, but there's something about this methodical nature of applying makeup and color combination and blending different products and just testing to see what works together and what doesn't. And it's just always been an interest of mine. I’m sorry baby, but this is the truth. I never wonder what Clint’s going to think about my eyeshadow today. 

Clint: But I always recognize it and I do notice it. Because I love the time you spend on your makeup and how beautiful you look with or without the makeup.

Ashlie: I appreciate that. But the truth is I don't do that to become more appealing for you. I do it to become more appealing for me. It makes me feel good and it makes me know that I’m wearing my face out in the world in a way that makes me comfortable and I don't ever do it to impress anybody. I don't go on wearing like chunks of glue and glitter to make my eyelids stick together to where it's uncomfortable. I have done that before. Maybe for an event and things like that.

But I’m never doing something to where I need to put forth enough effort to make myself look good for somebody else. And on the back end of that where I’m suffering inside. But for women it's tricky. For women it's tricky because we're constantly flooded with this imagery of what perfection is supposed to be. Especially as a young mind being developed. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be my 13-year-old self in today's world. Where my influence is not the Pop magazine anymore. That's what I used to be. I used to have these collages of pictures and boys and, you know boy bands up on my wall in my bedroom. And the influence truly was MTV, music videos and those magazines I used to beg my mom to buy whenever we would go to the grocery store.

But today the level of influence especially in the eyes of this younger generation, it's getting so much more difficult to emulate and as a byproduct of that, it's becoming nearly impossible to develop your own identity. 

Clint: And I agree with that from a male perspective as well. I think men have this image that they want to present themselves with. Whether it's having a very muscular body and I’m not just saying being in shape or being fit. I'm saying this appearance of having huge muscles in this Statue of David image about themselves where they are comfortable walking around with their shirt off and having their muscles all exposed and not showing their true selves of what who or what they are.

Ashlie: Don't get me wrong. These people that put forth the effort in a natural way to develop those body is for the most part, a lot of them, these are like athletes or these are people to where their bodies are their career and the time that they spend on their bodies is time that a lot of people don't have the luxury of, because a lot of people work a 9 to 5 job. But getting back to the topic of perception. How do you view, as a man, looking at those other men? Does anything ping at you when you see them?

Clint: Well it makes me feel like I want to have that image of myself. Whether it's super muscular or just fit and it's just that stigma that's around it to where I’m more attractive for you. And I think in realizing that, it's something that we all have this image of who we want to look like or who we want to be to fit society's image of what we're supposed to look like.

Ashlie: Why is that so important?

Clint: It's just what we've been groomed into thinking men and women alike.  This is the image that we're supposed to be. You see movie stars, you see athletes, you see all these really public figures and that's the state of their success you feel, and I don't care who you are, everybody wants to have that level of success in their own lives.

Ashlie: It's interesting you use the word success. So for you as a man seeing another man that maybe makes you feel a little inferior based on the comparison and body type. That's really the same thing that women go through when it comes to comparing themselves to other women. Being at the clothes that they wear, their body type, how much they weigh, the makeup that they wear. Like for women it goes on and on. For men it's pretty much your body and your clothes really. And there's this compounding effect on women where that level is never met. And I know for me one of the biggest things and I’m definitely subject to that, but it's definitely taken a lot of self-work.

Really, stemming from the fact that I grew up in a home with five brothers, me being the only girl. My mom was a very modest mom in a home. And that was her whole world. So she didn't really care about makeup and clothes and things like that. It's was most comfortable for me to be a mom and work in the home and you know drive her kids everywhere and all these things that she did for us. So I didn't have anyone else to look up to in that sort of influence and it was important for me as I got older to understand that what I thought was a positive influence in terms of how I felt about myself shouldn't have ever come from media at all.

And I was very very blessed to have parents that were so supportive and really instilling the fact that I need to discover my own voice and do what values myself and never let anyone walk all over without or take that away from me…that I began to understand as I got older, the importance of doing the things that make me happy and make me comfortable. Going to Vegas couple days ago I’m wearing you know workout pants, a t shirt and sure I may doll up my makeup and my hair. But I do that every day. That's something I do for me; I don't do it for anybody else. And by having the ability to understand that, you're allowed to make your own decision about what you deem to be your own perfection based on your own comfort level. Then it allows you to challenge yourself to be creative and discover who you really are. 

Clint: And really establish the fact that it's okay to be who you want to be. 

Ashlie: I love that, and I think it's becoming a little bit more brought to the surface. I've seen a lot of campaigns where women will not wear any makeup at all and I have an amazing niece who very humbly posted her bare skin, acne and all with these beautiful, beautiful eyes with the most gorgeous eyeshadow on just showcasing the reality about what happens underneath all of that. What happens underneath all the makeup and the clothes, when it's just you and who you really are and to still be accepted for that.

And I think people will relate to that even more. People start to understand that we're all human. We all at one point or another think that we're in this race with everybody else when the reality is that we're only in a race with the person that we were yesterday and when you're able to realize that and you understand that, it's okay to not have to be that girl walking down the Vegas strip with blood coming out of your heels and the man at the gym who's satisfied with looking at himself in the mirror without having the wandering eyes that then allow you to compare yourself to other people.

Then you can start to take ownership of what you have and make it better. Better not by a comparison of other people, but better like I said, to who you were yesterday and in moving forward and looking at what it is that you want to be. Understanding how you feel is really what's most important. Do I want to sit there and feel ashamed about my body, ashamed about who I am as a person? Do I want to feel bad about myself because I don't live up to this other imagery of somebody else? Well those expectations are only yours. So who cares? And when you're able to understand that and take ownership of who you are and know that you have the ability to craft your own reality based on what makes you most comfortable and what allows you to stay most true to yourself,  then you're really able to enjoy your tactical living.

Balance. Optimize. Tactics. 

Hit that subscribe button so that you don’t miss a day of the added value that I am dedicated to sharing with you weekly. #LEOWarriors

Let’s Connect! 

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Website: www.leowarriors.com