Is it dangerous to have expectations or assumption of others? Is it a natural process that cannot be avoided.

There are moments when expectations can be good, for example, a teacher who predicts your future grades can help define a target for you to achieve, like a target and challenge.

Now that a good example of an expectation, the other side is achieving those predicted grades and hearing ” you’re supposed to get that”.

We all have seen the videos or photos taking a comical poke at expectation vs reality, and it speaks so true about life.

If you have been disappointed at someone not fulfilling your expectation perhaps you need to take a step back:-

You are the only captain on your boat 24/7, so listen to yourself and don’t let other dictates which way you should sail next.

It’s important you stay true to yourself, don’t change your characteristics to match the expectation people place on you, remember as well control over expectations needs to be actively worked on, alongside acceptance.

Sense when you are placing an expectation on future outcomes, try and displace it, and become aware of when you become upset/angry due to an expectation not being met. Take lessons from Directors/CEO who have to deal with meeting peoples expectation all the time, and the fact they understand they can’t please everyone. If someone

In this weeks episode anton and ola discuss the effects of being a people pleaser. always giving into the needs of others and how this can affect people long term. as well as ways to move away from such a disadvantaged position!

Here is a question; is it possible to achieve your dreams and while dating or entering a new relationship.

There is no denial that entering a relationship is a huge commitment which will need attention, time and effort.

We can’t predict the future and there may come a time in our lives where we are at a crossroad and have to think about whether we want to enter a relationship which could potentially distract us from our big goals.

So do we take a chance? Do we allow another person to enter our life and yes that means sharing your time and focus.

Find a good partner

Support

Each person has to support each other, goals and dreams, it can’t be from one side.

Sacrificing dreams can lead to resentment so much sure you communicate your goals clearly to your partner and help them understand how they can support you.

Respect

Respect your partners’ dreams, if you don’t respect or value your partners’ dreams you won’t make it a priority and as a result, you will neglect it and this could lead to resentment, anger, and other negative emotions.

If you’re trying to make it work with the wrong person while you pursue your dream, both areas are going to fall apart — you will feel bothered and pestered by your girlfriend to spend time with her or give her your attention, which is going to create stress and animosity in your relationship, which is going to carry over and cause your work life to suffer as well.

Communication 

You may not be able to see or speak to each other all the time, so communicate your schedule and when you will be busy.

You have to show your partner that they matter, have open communications with each other and monitor and evaluate your relationship. Keep them involved in your plans, goals, and next moves; communicate goals for your relationship as well.

Understanding

A difficult one but understanding your partner by placing yourself in their shoes, understand this is there dreams.

Listening carefully and paying attention will help you understand what the other person is saying, pay attention to their voice; tone but also body language to understand when they are uptight or relaxed.

Have your own life

Have your own separate life to your partner, it creates a sense of dependency.

Schedule Quality Time 

Make time for each other whether it will be a weekly/monthly date. Have a time during which you can reconnect with your partner.

You are going to have to schedule quality time together. This could be scheduling a weekly date night, or a day on the weekend that you spend together every week, free of work distractions.

Other Links

https://wealthygorilla.com/healthy-relationship-when-chasing-dreams/

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Have you ever thought about taking the unconventional route to life?

what does that even mean?

well, most go through life with the basic lifeline of go to school, graduate with a degree, get a 9-5, get married, start a family, and then retire.

But thinking different is a big part of being unconventional and living a lifestyle beyond the average – essentially breaking the pattern.

If you think like everyone else you’re going to be like everyone else.

If you think average, you are going to be average. 

I believe that if we were all stuck in our child-year-old minds, we’d have one amazing unconventional and creative world out there.

Breaking the pattern means breaking loose from the status quo. It means doing something special, being remarkable.

It’s the path less traveled. Taking alternative routes. Doing things differently, the unorthodox way.

Unconventional means you don’t live life based on traditions and conventions, but based on your own terms.

Living unconventional means breaking free of conformity, not accepting rules or standards as the norm at which to base your life and personality on.

It is questioning and rejecting what is generally done or believed.

Unconventional can but doesn’t have to mean crazy. Sometimes crazy can be unconventional. Other times it’s just madness.

Above all, it means taking the courage to stand up for yourself.

Some people seem to naturally be unconventional and live an unconventional lifestyle. More than often though, people make conscious decisions.

breaking the pattern doesnt simply happen overnight, it does take time and effort.

here are ways you can get the ball rolling in your life to break the pattern and lie your life to the max.

1. Be a dreamer.

2. Align your values, beliefs and dreams to your life.

3. Stop caring about what other people think about you.

4. Do what you want, not what you should.

5. Test your comfort zone.

6. Look into yourself and be yourself.

Have you ever read a book that has changed your life? Perhaps it has made you see life in a different way; maybe it gifted you with the knowledge to complete a project on task.

We often overlook how a book can provide so much insight into our everyday lives; we live in a world with so much complexity.

There are books for every aspect of life whether it be to gain an change in mindset or lifestyle.

What’s also great about reading or acquiring knowledge is sharing it with other people, a simple conversation can be started by recognising a book cover.

Finance

The below is a very interesting, fictional, story I read a while back that I thought id share as this weeks episode write up to hopefully inspire and impact people that read it.

Do enjoy!

Two young men graduated from college together 20 years ago. Both men came from similar backgrounds, had similar intellects, and similar skills.

Twenty years later, one of those men had progressed to be a mid-level manager in his company, while the other became the company CEO

while this participial story is not based on true event, it does prompt the following question?

Why do otherwise similarly talented people diverge in their career performances over time?

Why is is that many people are smarter than their bosses, yet still working for them?

I submit that the difference comes down to how we spend one hour per day.

Most everything ive ever accomplished in my life initially started by devoting one hour per day to an activity other people were not doing.

Sometimes it was reading a book. Other times it was making an extra phone call to connect with someone. Sometimes it would be meeting new contacts for a coffee.

When I made these one hour a day decisions, it was an investment based on a simple premise.

If you want average results, do the things that most people do

if you want exceptional results, do the things that most people aren’t willing to do.

Follow this simple idea for one hour a day, and over time it adds up. Its the compound interest concept coined to be the 7th wonder of the world by Albert Einstein.

Want to change your physique? One hour a day

want to learn a new language? One hour a day

want to grow your network or relationships? One hour a day

want that promotion? One hour a day

the vast majority of things in life can be accomplished by being very deliberate in how you invest your time

It all starts with just One hour a day

In the same way you receive a certain amount of money per hour/ month for your time and efforts at work/ self employed – What rate would you charge for your personal time?

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Let’s play a quick game, the rules of the game are to answer the next questions truthfully and honestly:-

Are you a liar? Well apparently, on average humans lie about ten times a week.

So the existence of Santa was one of the biggest lies told to me whilst growing up but were my parent wrong for doing so, were they telling a good lie or a bad lie?

If lying is a factor in human behaviour then where do we draw the line between a good lie or a bad lie, or is a “Lie a Lie”. The intention may be good or bad but it’s an LIE.

Another example is you are responsible for arranging a friends surprise birthday, but you are withholding the truth from your friend, you may even tell a little lie about where you are going to be on their birthday.

Many psychologists say we are primed to deceive and studies has shown that there are clear biological benefits to dishonesty but also emotional stress.

But what are the factors behind lying:-

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Many believe that some of life’s most important lessons should be taught in school, whilst others believe they should be taught at home, and some through life experience.

The best approach is subjective, however a combination of all three would be ideal for most to incorporate.

With reference to education through school – the argument being that as you spend the vast majority of your formative years in formal education it would make sense for most of the important lessons, teaching and skills to come from this sector. such teaching such as basic cooking skills, communications and interpersonal skills and the likes.

As people age they realise that they tend to use less and less of what they learned in school while discovering more and more skills that are vital to success in life which were not taught in school!

For the vast majority of the population, myself particularly, it wasn’t until after school that my education really began.

Here are some of the main skills that should be taught in school for long term success, but unfortunately aren’t currently.

The reason being that its a skill that is so essential to success that affects every area of your life (from dating, to family, to work)

It is a well known fact that there is great power in knowing you can reach out to your network whenever you have a problem to solve, to be able to reach key influencers at conferences and meetings, to make an impression on audiences, to project confidence and trustworthiness, and to make friends with other successful people.

A study carried out in the 50s found that graduates who had set life goals were 40% happier and more successful in high paying jobs than their counterparts who hadn’t set any goals at all. This goes to show the power of goal setting, something that isn’t actively taught in schools unfortunately. But can have a profound and intensive impact on people lives if taken seriously and followed.

This can be in simple forms such as not multi-track, having uninterrupted time for tasks, to do lists, unimportant vs important tasks too.

As money is probably the only tool that people utilise on a daily basis thorough their adult lives, it would make sense to teach its importance, impact, and good use from a young age. However this isn’t the case. People are left to fend for themselves and learn some of life’s lessons regarding money the hard way.

people are never taught how to build wealth, which is why we have a nation in credit card debt. Moreover, they are never taught the power of passive income streams and how to really break free from the rat race of working 9-to-5.

Although highly subjective there are at least three main areas in which most can agree success is the same: namely wealth, health and relationships. Children are taught when they don’t get a certain grade that they’ve failed. This sets a bad tone, doesn’t encourage children to want to try again with certain tasks. Children should be taught that when they fail, they’ve actually learnt how not to do something, as oppose to being taught they are wrong. This stops a lot of adults in later life from ever trying to achieve certain goals and dre

Our very own belief systems are built to help us navigate the world, it helps us understand what is right and what is wrong, however, sometimes our own beliefs system holds us back from greatness.

This all highlights how powerful our mind can be, a classic way of illustrating limiting belief is an image of an elephant tied to a peg, physically it is at the stage where it could break the peg if it tried but it doesn’t because it once tried when it was smaller

Limiting beliefs are learned from various of ways:-

All these factors have an impact on our lives because we are a product of our environment, whether you have to unlearn the lesson taught to you by your parents, or have someone in your life who breaks the “status quo” and make certain thing seem achievable.

It’s important to remember “the one thing we can control is our actions, the one thing you can’t control is our feelings”

It’s also down to the language; have you ever heard or said “It’s not for me, I can’t do that… it’s often our limiting belief and our worry about stepping out of our comfort zone.

Tieing it back to our previous

Anxiety and depression

In this weeks episode we are joined by the lovely Sarah and Anneli of Pigletish to discuss their personal experiences of anxiety and depression.