I booked a river jump suite in Mexico a year and a half in advance. Paid extra to upgrade. Agreed to sit through a 90 minute timeshare presentation to make it work. And when I checked in, they gave me a different room.

What happened next is not my finest moment.

In this episode of Taking Life by the Raines, Brandi gets real about a sin she thinks a lot of us struggle with and rarely admit: entitlement. She just got back from Mexico where she was convicted — hard — about the way she showed up when things didn't go as planned. She shares the full story, what it cost her spiritually, what she learned about the difference between entitlement and healthy self-worth, and how she is recalibrating going into this next season.

This one is for anyone who has ever let a disappointment turn into a full-blown attitude and known in the moment that they were going too far but just could not stop.

In this episode:

• The river suite story: booked it, paid for it, didn't get it, and completely lost her witness

• The book How to Raise Grateful Kids in an Entitled World and why it convicted her about herself, not her kids

• When you're so far in you can't back down — and why it's never too late to stop

• Her friend who is still building her faith and why Brandi failed her on this trip

• Entitlement is a fine line: where healthy self-worth ends and entitlement begins

• Riley at the nail salon: teaching her daughter to ask for what she wants with grace

• Sugar goes farther than salt — always lead with grace and kindness

• The smiling-on-the-phone sales lesson and what it taught Brandi about energy

• The goal is not to expect less — it is to contribute as much as you hope to receive

• Holy Spirit, activate: how to hand over the moment when you are too far in to back up

• Agape on her wrist and what she forgot to look at all week in Mexico

• Practicing gratitude is not about accepting less — it's about seeing life in a God light

📖 The book referenced in this episode: https://a.co/d/05BAL6lu

New episodes every week. Subscribe and join us. 💜

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About me + my links: msha.ke/brandirainesbeauty_

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🎧 Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts: takinglifebytheraines.com

#takinglifebytheraines #brandiraines #entitlement #gratitude #christianwomen #faithjourney #mompreneur #holyspirit #womenempowerment #millennialmom

0:00 Today's topic: entitlement and a heavy conviction

0:31 Call yourself to the carpet — do a self audit

0:56 Brandi's intro and where she is right now in life

2:29 Blessed but overwhelmed — and what that even means

2:49 No notes today — going from the hip and the heart

3:12 The book: How to Raise Grateful Kids in an Entitled World

4:02 The hotel example from the book and what it triggered

5:10 The river suite: X Grotte Mexico, a year and a half of planning

6:19 The voucher, the upgrade, the timeshare presentation they agreed to

6:48 Paying $5,000 and showing up to the wrong room

8:10 The oceanfront suite they were given instead

8:52 River suite with two double beds — and Brandi is not happy

9:11 She starts off kind and then goes wrong

10:26 The hotel comes back: the manager, the resistance, the cold shoulder

11:12 Choosing the river suite with doubles over the king with pool

12:07 Her friend's situation: room not ready, maintenance excuse, and the truth

13:39 Allowing it to fester for 24 hours on vacation

13:54 They weren't doing maintenance — they were filming a commercial

14:18 The drone outside the balcony in a towel moment

16:00 I acted a fool and let it ruin part of the trip

19:00 Entitlement in everyday moments: grocery pickup, overcooked steak, cold coffee

21:25 When you know you should stop and you just cannot

22:17 Holy Spirit activate: it is never too late to hand it over

22:38 Agape on her wrist and what she forgot to look at

22:56 She repented to her friends and to God

24:54 Recalibrating: where are you acting entitled right now

25:32 The nail salon: Riley, the cat eye nails, and a teachable moment

29:19 Teaching Riley to ask for what you want and meet rudeness with grace

30:04 The smiling-on-the-phone sales lesson and what it taught her about energy

31:39 Sugar goes farther than salt — always

32:36 Two steps forward: tolerate disappointment better and practice gratitude

33:14 High expectations are okay — the goal is to contribute as much as you hope to receive

34:02 Holy Spirit activate in the moments you feel entitled

35:18 We can do better — closing call to gratitude and grace

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When Brandi quit her job in 2017, she was pregnant with her second child. Casey was a non-rate in the Coast Guard making the least amount of money possible. They lived in a tiny apartment in Pensacola they called the Raisin Box. And not a single person in her life was willing to look her in the eyes and say: do it. It is going to be okay.

So she did it anyway.

In Episode 10 of Taking Life by the Raines, Brandi is talking directly to the person who is struggling to keep going. The one who is distracted, comparing herself, and unsure whether what God called her to is even real. The one who is waiting for someone to tell her it is okay to take the leap. Brandi is going to be that person today.

She talks through quitting her job, the Lira hair launch, being delusional enough to believe before it happens, why consistency beats talent every single time, and what ten years of ordinary moments have built into something only God could have designed.

In this episode:

• Quitting her job pregnant with no safety net and nobody telling her it was okay

• Why consistency will take you further than any talent you have

• You have to be delusional enough to believe it before it happens

• The difference between fake it till you make it and embodying the habits of success

• You will be the only thing that stops you — not the market, not the algorithm

• Why she hid her business milestones and stopped celebrating her own success

• Scarcity mindset, therapy, and rewiring her relationship with money

• God will give you the tools, the money, and the strength — if it is His will

• If it feels forced, it is probably not for you — here is how to tell the difference

• Launching Lira: the hair company and what Lira means in Hebrew

• Your future success is built on ordinary moments, not one big breakthrough

• Stop comparing your process to someone else's calling

New episodes every week. Subscribe and join us. 💜

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Instagram: instagram.com/brandirainesbeauty/

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Facebook: facebook.com/followbrandiraines/

About me + my links: msha.ke/brandirainesbeauty_

Shop my Komigo storefront: komigo.me/brandi

🎧 Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts: takinglifebytheraines.com

#takinglifebytheraines #brandiraines #consistencyovertalent #doit scared #faithandbusiness #christianwomen #mompreneur #womenentrepreneurs #personalgrowth #faithjourney

0:00 Consistency will take you further than any talent

0:52 Welcome: Brandi introduces herself and the Lira hair launch

1:59 Speaking to the person who is struggling to keep going

2:30 The Raisin Box in Pensacola: quitting her job in 2017

3:56 Nobody was willing to tell her it was going to be okay

4:52 I am going to be the one to tell you: do it

6:02 Ships in the night with Casey and why she took the leap

7:12 The validation you need is already inside you

7:55 You will be the only thing that stops you

8:48 Be delusional enough to believe it before it happens

9:20 Embody the habits not fake it till you make it

13:00 Hiding her own milestones and dimming her success

15:00 Your calling is not their calling — stop comparing

18:00 Scarcity mindset, therapy, and rewiring her money relationship

22:00 If it feels forced it is probably not for you

26:00 The rolling ball: how to know when God is in it

29:45 They are called to something different — let that be on them

31:10 Scarcity says this is as good as it gets

32:12 God called her to rest and she finally listened

32:55 Get consistent with the one thing God is calling you to

33:34 Your future is built on ordinary moments not one big breakthrough

34:12 Closing: everything you need is already in you

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Have you ever noticed how often women say sorry?

Sorry I'm late. Sorry I need help. Sorry for asking. Sorry for being emotional. Somewhere along the way we were conditioned to apologize for taking up space. And in Episode 9 of Taking Life by the Raines, Brandi is done.

This is the list of things she has stopped apologizing for. And she wants you to stop apologizing for them too.

She opens with the difference between being kind and abandoning yourself. She talks through protecting her peace, saying no with her chest, outgrowing people and seasons, dimming her ambition because she felt guilty about her own success, and the moment she realized her faith creates a divide and she is okay with that. She closes with Galatians 1:10 — am I trying to win the approval of human beings or of God?

In this episode:

• Why women are conditioned to over-apologize and over-explain

• Protecting your peace is not selfish — it is good stewardship of what God gave you

• Not every conversation and not every opinion deserves access to you

• No is a full sentence. No explanation required.

• Every yes is a no to something else — and that matters

• Outgrowing people, places, and seasons — and why it comes with grief

• Dimming your ambition because you feel guilty about your own success

• What agape love actually means and how it changes the way you serve

• Galatians 1:10: am I trying to win the approval of people or of God

• Stop making everyone else so comfortable that you live uncomfortably in your own skin

• Life is short. You are not promised tomorrow. Say it with your chest.

New episodes every week. Subscribe and join us. 💜

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Instagram: instagram.com/brandirainesbeauty/

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About me + my links: msha.ke/brandirainesbeauty_

Shop my Komigo storefront: komigo.me/brandi

🎧 Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts: takinglifebytheraines.com

#takinglifebytheraines #brandiraines #unapologeticallyme #settingboundaries #christianwomen #noisasentence #protectyourpeace #mompreneur #womenempowerment #galatians110

0:00 Cold open: have you noticed how often women apologize

0:57 Welcome and today's topic: the things I stopped apologizing for

1:38 Empathy as a gift and how it becomes a trap

2:54 I will not apologize for protecting my peace

3:57 Not every opinion deserves access to you

4:45 Saying no without apologizing for it

5:52 Every yes is a no to something else

7:14 Did God ask you to carry this? Ask before you say yes.

7:55 Outgrowing people, places, and seasons

10:00 Grief that comes with outgrowing — and why it is necessary

12:00 Not apologizing for your faith

16:00 Agape: sacrificial love without expectation

21:55 What favor from God actually looks like

24:10 Not apologizing for being ambitious

25:33 Giving other women permission to go after something bigger

26:42 Closing: what are you still apologizing for that you should not be

28:27 Galatians 1:10: approval of people or of God

29:07 Stop apologizing for taking up space — say it with your chest

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When you are a good swimmer, nobody can tell when you are drowning.

If that hit you, this episode is for you.

In Episode 8 of Taking Life by the Raines, Brandi gets into something most strong women carry in silence: the loneliness of being the one everyone relies on. The one who has the answer. The one who keeps the schedule, holds the household, leads the team, shows up consistently, and somehow never gets asked how she is really doing.

Brandi also opens up about losing Casey's Papa, launching her hair company Lira, the scarcity mindset she has carried since childhood, her ADHD, and what it has taken to finally learn that rest is not a reward — it is a requirement.

In this episode:

• The loneliness of being the strong one and why people stop checking on you

• When you are a good swimmer nobody can tell when you are drowning

• Scarcity mindset, ADHD, and the triple threat of being a high-achieving woman

• Launching Lira: the hair company backed by the founders of Unique

• Why rest is not earned — it is what you achieve from

• The self-imposed pressure that does not actually come from anyone else

• How Casey told her he has never doubted her — and what that unlocked

• Checking on your strong friends: they are probably just surviving

• Even Jesus set boundaries, rested, and said no — and we forget that

• The GLOW prayer framework: Gratitude, Let it out, Own your desires, Wait

• Matthew 11:28 — come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest

• Your permission slip to lay it down, rest, and stop being the strong one today

New episodes every week. Subscribe and join us. 💜

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About me + my links: msha.ke/brandirainesbeauty_

Shop my Komigo storefront: komigo.me/brandi

🎧 Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts: takinglifebytheraines.com

#takinglifebytheraines #brandiraines #thestrength #checkonyourfrends #christianwomen #mompreneur #restisrequired #womenempowerment #faithjourney #millennialmom

0:00 Welcome back and who Brandi is

1:02 Taking time off: Disney, 30A, and losing Papa

2:15 Being the strong one and nobody checking on you

3:36 When you are a good swimmer nobody can tell when you are drowning

4:40 The loneliness of being the strong one

5:32 Showing up for ten years while nobody asked how you were doing

6:36 Holding it together with a tiny string

7:30 Check on the strong ones in your life

8:15 Scarcity mindset and ADHD as superpower and weakness

9:27 From 100K to 15 million in sales and still not celebrating

10:21 Launching Lira and the negative comments that fired Brandi up

11:31 Rest is not earned — it is what you achieve from

12:26 Carrying the burden of being the one everyone looks to

14:06 Ten years in network marketing and always having the right reaction

15:50 It is okay to not be the strong one sometimes

16:23 Casey was the sole provider for six years — the role reversal

20:18 God rewards you when you take time to rest and process

20:46 Even Jesus rested, set limits, and said no

21:49 The pressure is kind of made up

22:52 Casey said he has never doubted her — and what that changed

24:08 Holding it in causes resentment in marriage

25:46 Align me Jesus — the prayer that cuts through the noise

26:52 The GLOW framework: Gratitude, Let it out, Own your desires, Wait

28:10 What this episode is meant to give you permission to do

28:51 You can still be the strong one after you rest

29:39 Taking a Sabbath feels lazy — but it is obedience

30:08 Your permission slip: pause, reflect, and check on your people

31:15 Check in on your husband too

33:15 Matthew 11:28: come to me all who are weary

34:00 Lay one thing down and rest — closing word

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Here is the truth about growth that nobody posts on social media.

It is terrifying.

In Episode 7 of Taking Life by the Raines, Brandi gets into the biggest transitional period of her career and her life. Since January her nervous system has been in fight-or-flight mode. She is launching a hair company. Her supplement company is dropping four new products and exploring a major partnership. And the platform she has built her entire career on, network marketing, is being reinvented from the ground up.

This episode is for every woman in a transitional season who is scared to take the next step. The woman who sees people succeeding online and assumes they have it figured out. They do not. Brandi does not either. And she is showing you what it looks like to keep moving through it anyway.

In this episode:

• The CEO meeting in Utah that changed everything

• Komigo becoming Curated: what the rebrand means and why Brandi is all in

• Launching a hair company and four new supplement products simultaneously

• What network marketing is being replaced with and why Brandi is not walking away

• Imposter syndrome: the world's worst case of it and why every successful person has it too

• High performers are just as scared as you. They have just figured out how to keep moving.

• Motivation is a feeling. Discipline is a decision. The difference matters.

• God will close the door if you are not meant to walk through it, and sometimes He will not and it becomes a lesson

• Peace that makes no sense: leaning into Philippians 4 and faith in chaos

• Agape love, sacrificial service, and showing up for others even when you are scared

• Big risk, big win or big lesson: you have nothing to lose

New episodes every week. Subscribe and join us. 💜

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About me + my links: msha.ke/brandirainesbeauty_

Shop my Komigo storefront: komigo.me/brandi

🎧 Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts: takinglifebytheraines.com

fear of failure women | imposter syndrome entrepreneur | how to keep going when scared | network marketing rebrand | faith in transition | Christian women podcast | mompreneur mindset | personal growth podcast women | taking the next step in business | Brandi Raines podcast

0:00 Intro

0:49 Welcome back

1:45 Building on social media since 2017: live video, makeup tutorials, and creative outlet

2:31 Right now: the biggest transitional period of Brandi's life

3:07 Marriage is in a great place. Business is a whole other story.

5:19 What is happening right now: new hair company, supplement partnership, Vision Summit

5:55 Flying to Utah: Vision Summit January, excited, on an all time high

6:22 How Komigo started

7:12 Curated: the new platform, new name, what it means going forward

7:33 Vision Summit announcement

7:55 The private CEO meeting after the Summit

8:21 My world was flipped upside down

8:54 Network marketing is changing: affiliate marketing, TikTok Shop, coaching competition

9:16 I love network marketing: but the industry had to evolve to survive

10:25 Vision Summit part two: Curated announced to the field

12:20 Fight or flight since January

13:43 Creator-led brands: why today's consumer wants what Curated is building

14:06 Layering on the supplement company: four new products, peptides, partnership conversations

15:55 High performers are just as scared

16:26 Opening the Bible every day out loud

17:40 Will Smith on failure

18:14 Do it until failure: the gym analogy and the burnout set that makes you grow

23:54 The world's worst imposter syndrome

24:58 Cannot cling to old seasons

25:24 Times are changing: how to evolve without losing what you came from

27:45 The road less traveled

28:05 Ask God for what you need each day

28:33 Joy in chaos peace that makes no sense

29:12 Peace is not certainty

30:01 Close your eyes and ask God for peace in the chaos: He will give it to you

30:50 You inspire people just by showing up

31:14 Sacrificial love without expectation

31:40 Ten out of ten do not get a tattoo in Mexico: the anniversary story

32:04 Agape as a model for marriage and for life: servant heart to everyone not just a spouse

32:48 Being a light of God through the hard times: if not for yourself then for others

33:21 What if you do not fail: what if you fly, what if this is the choice that changes your life

34:05 My story is your story

37:03 Hard seasons are the soil: where God plants you to grow the next version of yourself

37:43 Believe God has got your back: He takes care of the birds, why not you

38:42 Closing:

#takinglifebytheraines#brandiraines#fearoffailure#impostersyndrome#christianwomen#mompreneur#faithintransition#personalgrowth#womenentrepreneurs#millennialmom

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A year before I got pregnant with Riley, I said out loud that I did not want kids anytime soon. Three months into dating Casey, I was standing in a CVS bathroom with a pregnancy test on my lunch break.

Here is the thing about motherhood. Nothing prepares you for it. Not one single thing. And in Episode 6, I am getting into all of it.

The unexpected pregnancy I could not tell anyone about for two and a half months while Casey was away at boot camp. The night Casey and I stood in our living room holding Riley and just sobbed. The moment that motherly instinct clicked and I knew I was going to be okay. The way God used my kids to break me free from every trauma I had been carrying.

I also talk about something I have never shared publicly: my ADHD diagnosis in ninth grade, being put on 50mg of Adderall a day as a teenager, and then being given Ambien to sleep at night on top of it. How cold turkey stopping when I graduated contributed to my weight gain, my mood swings, and why I started my own supplement company years later. And why, as a mom now, I will never just accept what a doctor hands my kids without asking every question first.

I also cover:

• How motherhood completely rewires your brain and your hustle

• What to do when you feel like you are drowning in the overwhelm

• The mom guilt trap and why you have got to stop comparing yourself to other moms

• What it means to pour into your marriage while raising kids

• The 7-7-12 rule for staying connected to your spouse

• How to advocate for your kids when every doctor is pushing medication

• Functional mushrooms, holistic pediatricians, and what changed everything for my family

• And the word every tired, overwhelmed, doing-her-best mom needs to hear today

New episodes every week. Subscribe and join us. 💜

📲 Follow Taking Life by the Raines:

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📲 Follow Brandi:

Instagram: instagram.com/brandirainesbeauty/

TikTok: tiktok.com/brandirainesbeauty

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About me + my links: msha.ke/brandirainesbeauty_

Shop my Komigo storefront: komigo.me/brandi

🎧 Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts: takinglifebytheraines.com

0:00 Welcome back

0:53 Christians are not perfect: social media lies and real redemption

1:45 Tonight's topic: motherhood, how it changes you in ways nobody warns you about

2:13 One year before getting pregnant: I said I do not want kids

2:48 Meeting Casey in March 2015

3:30 Stone Mountain date night

4:02 Growing up with trauma

4:51 Mental health then vs. now

5:41 What Brandi loves and does not love about today's culture

6:02 Casey goes to boot camp

6:49 Gina from the office: the first person she told

7:08 Keeping it secret for two and a half months while Casey was at boot camp

7:59 Cape May, New Jersey: the trip where she finally told him

8:38 The whirlwind: young, scared, minimal money, just started dating

9:02 When you find your person

9:54 You guys are going to be fine

10:10 Moving to Pensacola pregnant: God breaking her free from past trauma

10:42 What nobody warns you about parenthood

11:09 The second night home with Riley: standing in the living room sobbing

11:50 The Holy Spirit in that moment

12:13 Motherly instinct clicks

12:47 The strength motherhood gave her

13:07 Wait for the one: why your spouse matters more than you know when kids come

13:49 The mental load of motherhood

14:09 Speaking to the overwhelmed mom

15:06 Your heavenly Father wants to carry the stress: let Him

15:35 Coming from trauma

16:13 Keeping up with the Joneses

17:05 The mental load unpacked

35:27 Approaching your spouse for support

35:52 Give exact examples

36:36 Pouring back into your marriage

37:13 The 7-7-12 rule

38:12 The car ride story

39:10 Becoming roommates with your spouse

39:40 Inner healing makes vulnerable conversations possible

40:33 Make time for your marriage now

40:58 ADHD diagnosis in ninth grade

42:26 Prescribed Adderall

43:38 50mg of Adderall a day

44:26 Then they gave her Ambien to sleep

44:51 Cold turkey at graduation

45:17 Why she started a supplement company

45:43 Holistic pediatrician, blood work, zero Flintstone vitamins

46:13 What she wishes somebody had advocated for her

47:01 Pushing back on Big Pharma

48:38 Small tweaks in diet that transformed her kids

49:05 God made you the perfect mother for your children

50:07 God slowed them down and gave them babies

50:45 From mama heart to mama heart

51:38 Closing: finish the Poppi

motherhood podcast | becoming a mom changed me | ADHD medication kids | unexpected pregnancy story | mom guilt | holistic parenting podcast | Christian mom podcast | millennial mom | marriage and kids | Brandi Raines podcast

#takinglifebytheraines #brandiraines #motherhoodpodcast #momguilt #christianmom #millennialmom #holisticparenting #adhdmom #marriageandkids #faithjourney

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You think you know me. You don't know this version.

In Episode 5 I finally brought on my first guest, my childhood best friend Alexa, the one person on earth who has seen me through literally every season. The bratty middle schooler. The wild high schooler. The girl who should have ended up dead or pregnant but somehow didn't. The woman who couldn't accept a compliment. And the mom and wife I've become today.

This one is unscripted, unfiltered, and honestly hilarious. We're telling the stories I have never told. Sneaking to Missouri in the middle of the night and telling our parents we were at Cedar Point. Getting caught by a cop with an expired license at a party and somehow walking away free. The high school sorority that absolutely should not have existed. The things we were numbing and why. The moment Alexa looked at me across a table and thought, "she's not the same girl anymore".

And the most important part. The conversation at the end where she tells me what she is most proud of me for. I could not make it through that without crying.

If you have a childhood best friend who has seen the full version of you (the one you don't post on social media) this episode is going to hit home.

Tag them below. 💜

New episodes every week. Subscribe so you never miss one.

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About me + my links: msha.ke/brandirainesbeauty_

Shop my Komigo storefront: komigo.me/brandi

🎧 Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts: takinglifebytheraines.com

0:00 Cold open — "I should have ended up dead or pregnant"

1:03 Welcome — meet Alexa Rex, Brandi's childhood best friend

2:50 What it means to have a friend who has seen every season of your life

3:58 First question: what was I actually like?

4:47 How they met — competitive dance team in fifth grade

6:04 Dance was their home away from home — chaotic backgrounds

7:16 How they became close — Katelyn, parties, and dating brothers

8:23 Alexa's honest take — "you were a brat, disrespectful to everyone"

9:49 Christians who have done dark things — faith without a perfect past

12:21 The Missouri road trip — lying to their parents about Cedar Point

16:33 Getting caught — parents compare stories, the lie unravels

18:38 High school parties, bonding over chaotic home lives

20:06 The high school sorority that absolutely should not have existed

21:40 "I should have ended up dead or pregnant" — the party bus years

22:59 Being taken advantage of at a freshman year party

24:04 Numbing everything — what we were really running from

25:18 Close calls — guns, cops, expired licenses, and walking away

27:56 After high school — Brandi moves to Disney, the friendship ebbs

29:19 What Brandi was struggling with that she didn't even realize

30:28 Dark times Alexa witnessed — the real picture from the outside

32:08 The proud moment — Brandi leaves Michigan for Florida

32:59 When Alexa knew — meeting Casey changed everything

34:44 Numbing vs. healing — then and now

58:01 You don't have to be embarrassed — let go of the guilt and shame

59:53 Change is possible — even when people don't believe you yet

1:00:12 Last question — what are you most proud of me for?

1:00:41 "The mom that you are" — both of them cry

1:02:46 Friendships that point you to Jesus — the ones that matter

1:04:32 Dark humor, fond memories, and closing laughs

1:05:11 Closing — "go hug your childhood bestie"

childhood best friend podcast | growing up wild and surviving | women friendship podcast | personal growth story | faith and friendship | Brandi Raines podcast | Taking Life by the Raines | Christian women podcast | millennial mom friendship | real talk women

#takinglifebytheraines #brandiraines #bestfriendpodcast #childhoodfriendship #womenempowerment #christianwomen #millennialmom #realtalk #faithjourney #personalgrowth

Here is something I don't think people expect me to say. It took me 14 years to actually feel confident. Like genuinely, deeply, not-faking-it confident.

The girl you see on social media selling makeup, running a beauty empire, coaching thousands of women? She spent most of her life deeply insecure about her looks, her capability, and her money. She faked confidence so hard that it came across as obnoxious. And she spent years comparing herself to everyone around her while quietly falling apart inside.

In Episode 4 I am getting into all of it. How comparison steals your confidence before you even realize it is happening. How growing up Filipino in a predominantly white small town in Michigan left me feeling like the sore thumb in every room I walked into. How a comment about my love handles in middle school sent me to get lipo as an adult. How I spent the early years of motherhood sobbing over my baby's milestones because I was too busy comparing myself to every other mom around me.

And the three seasons of my life where I finally proved to myself that I was capable of more than where I came from.

Confidence is not something you are born with. It is not linked to money or status or a perfect body. It is something you build. And I am going to show you how.

New episodes every week. Subscribe 💜

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About me + my links: msha.ke/brandirainesbeauty_

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🎧 Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts: takinglifebytheraines.com

0:00 Welcome — diving into confidence after 14 years of building it

0:27 What confidence actually is — not what social media says it is

1:36 Why she's sharing her insecurities — so you can see yourself

2:42 The one thing that stops women from finding success

3:46 Her biggest insecurity growing up — her looks

4:23 Growing up Filipino in Michigan — looking different from everyone

5:56 Third grade gym class — the "Chinese eyes" moment that stuck

7:28 The weight insecurity — Hollister jeans, love handles, and competitive dance

9:15 How a childhood insecurity led to lipo as an adult

10:31 Insecurity 2 — capability: believing where I came from was the ceiling

12:00 Insecurity 3 — finances and hiding past-due bills as a kid

14:31 What fake confidence looks like from the outside

16:20 Comparison — the thief of joy and creator of false reality

16:49 Her love-hate relationship with social media

18:08 Comparing herself to other moms — the beach condo story

19:30 Hudson's milestones vs. her niece — sobbing over a baby who couldn't sit up

23:23 Goals set from comparison not calling — retiring Casey before he wanted it

27:08 Confidence does not come from other people's perception of you

28:25 Motivation vs. discipline — what actually builds confidence over time

30:27 Fixate on what God has for you — stop the hamster wheel of comparison

31:31 Three seasons that proved she was capable — turning points

32:30 Season 1 — moving to Florida in 2011 with $2,000 and a prayer

35:02 Season 2 — meeting Casey and breaking the generational mold

37:00 Season 3 — 2020, the pandemic, and her business going 10x

40:07 U-Haul to Georgia — laying on a mattress and feeling proud

41:31 When her confidence finally stopped being a performance

43:37 Teaching her kids — don't ask if they like you, ask how you feel

44:35 Confidence is not born, it is built — and it comes in seasons

45:31 Confidence grows with faith — actionable steps to get there

46:54 Closing — it is never too late to blossom into what God is calling you

how to build confidence | comparison and insecurity | confidence for women | self esteem podcast | personal growth women | stop comparing yourself | women empowerment podcast | Christian women podcast | millennial mom podcast | social media and confidence

#takinglifebytheraines #brandiraines #confidence #selfesteem #stopcomparing #womenempowerment #christianwomen #millennialmom #personalgrowth #faithjourney

Here's the truth. Nobody tells you that healing gets worse before it gets better. Like actually worse. You start digging, you start going to therapy, you start facing the things you've tucked away for years and for a minute it feels like everything is falling apart. That's not you doing it wrong. That is literally just how it works.

In Episode 3 I'm getting into the stuff the self-help books skip over. The real, messy, uncomfortable truth about what healing actually looks like. I'm talking about learning to lower your expectations for people who have proven they're not capable of meeting them. I'm talking about staying put during hard conversations when every part of you wants to run. About outgrowing friendships you never thought you'd lose. About forgiving people who never said sorry. And about why your triggers in your marriage today are almost always rooted in something that happened when you were a kid.

I share the moment in couples therapy that broke my heart and then put it back together. The story of my dad running after our car at McDonald's when I was four years old. What my therapist showed me about my body language and why it was making my husband feel like he didn't matter to me. And how I had to stop praying for healing and start actually participating in it.

This episode is for anyone in the middle of it. The hard, unglamorous middle of doing the work. I promise you it's worth it.

The healed version of you is going to look back at the younger version of you and say, we did it. 💜

New episodes every week. Subscribe so you never miss one.

📲 Follow Taking Life by the Raines:

Instagram: instagram.com/takinglifebytheraines/

TikTok: tiktok.com/takinglifebythera

Facebook: facebook.com/takinglifebytheraines/

📲 Follow Brandi:

Instagram: instagram.com/brandirainesbeauty/

TikTok: tiktok.com/brandirainesbeauty

Facebook: facebook.com/followbrandiraines/

About me + my links: msha.ke/brandirainesbeauty_

Shop my Komigo storefront: komigo.me/brandi

🎧 Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts: www.takinglifebytheraines.com

0:00 Welcome back — Episode 3 intro

0:26 The truth about healing nobody talks about

1:47 It gets worse before it gets better — and that's okay

3:13 Healing is like peeling an onion — layer by layer

4:42 The first step she took — reading her Bible and starting therapy

5:12 The wrong therapist — and why you need to vet yours

6:21 Starting couples therapy with Casey

7:06 The therapist said: you each need to heal separately first

7:36 The biggest lesson from therapy — expectations

9:27 Lowering your expectations for broken people

11:02 Find a spicy marriage counselor who tells you the truth

11:43 If your marriage isn't hard, you're not going deep enough

14:26 The therapy session that broke her heart — the trash story

19:48 Body language as a trauma response

22:16 Learning to stay put when you want to run

23:11 The McDonald's memory — age 4, her parents divorced

25:40 What healing actually looks like step by step

28:04 Stop praying for healing and start participating in it

29:16 Friendships have expiration dates

30:37 Trauma bonding friendships and what happens when you heal

32:07 Daddy issues — forgiving what you never had

36:32 Therapy gives you the tools — real life is where you use them

37:31 Grieving friendships that no longer serve you

38:07 Forgiveness is a part of every layer of healing

40:10 Forgiving without an apology — how to actually do it

42:05 How to have hard conversations and keep the friendship

44:22 What healthy boundaries actually look like in real life

45:46 You teach people how to treat you

47:21 If your friends talk badly about their spouse, that is the enemy

49:11 The healed version of you is going to look back and say well done

50:07 Where to start if you don't know how to begin healing

53:42 Healing your trauma is the best weapon against the enemy

54:40 Thank you and closing

healing gets worse before it gets better | childhood trauma therapy | toxic friendships | marriage counseling | forgiveness healing | personal growth podcast women | Christian healing | generational trauma

#takinglifebytheraines #brandiraines #healingjourney #childhoodtrauma #marriagecounseling #toxicfriendships #christianwomen #millennialmom #personalgrowth #faithjourney

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Here's the reality. When you grow up in chaos, you learn to survive it. And those survival skills, the armor, the walls, the need to control everything, they don't just disappear when you become an adult. They follow you. Into your marriage. Into your parenting. Into your work. Into every single relationship you try to build.

I spent years not knowing that the patterns I was running on were directly connected to what I lived through as a kid. No hot water. Moving every year. Hiding past-due bills in the mailbox. A house in 10th grade with two mattresses on the floor and no fridge. I thought that was just life. I didn't realize until way later that I had built a whole personality around surviving it.

In this episode I'm getting into the stuff I didn't talk about in Episode 1. Not just what happened, but what it did to me on the inside. Why I couldn't accept a compliment. Why I hit $15 million in sales and still felt like it wasn't enough. Why I was a workaholic and calling it a badge of honor when honestly, it was a trauma response. Why I pushed away the people who loved me the most.

God has been so faithful in my healing. Truly. But I also had to do the work, and I want to help you do it too.

You are not alone if you came from chaos. And it does not dictate where you're going. I promise you that.

New episodes every week. Subscribe so you never miss one. 💜

📲 Follow Taking Life by the Raines:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/takinglifebytheraines/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/takinglifebythera

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/takinglifebytheraines/

📲 Follow Brandi:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brandirainesbeauty/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/brandirainesbeauty

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/followbrandiraines/

About me + my links: msha.ke/brandirainesbeauty_

Shop my Komigo storefront: komigo.me/brandi

🎧 Listen on Spotify & Apple Podcasts: takinglifebytheraines.com

In this episode:

childhood trauma healing | trauma response workaholic | overcoming childhood wounds | generational patterns | personal growth podcast for women | faith and healing | scarcity mindset money | women empowerment podcast

#takinglifebytheraines #brandiraines #childhoodtrauma #traumahealing #personalgrowth #womenempowerment #christianwomen #millennialmom #selfimprovement #generationaltrauma

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