Tales from the Journey

Today, I'm talking to Geoff Seow, founder of MindAxis Life Coaching, about getting sober, overcoming burnout, and changing careers. Geoff helps unfulfilled millennials create an inspired vision for their future through overcoming self-doubt with his MindAxis Method™. His goal is to guide individuals to reach their highest potential, through which they can create a life of purpose and fulfillment. In this episode, he's sharing his own journey of realizing he was on the wrong career path and how he course-corrected into his true passion and purpose. Geoff also talks about his experiences during lockdown that allowed him to really get to know who he was and what he wanted and create an entirely new mindset that supported a different life.

What to listen for:

Graduating high school early and getting his first of three degrees

Partying, doing drugs in college, and the lost period in his life

“I was very lost. I didn't really have any guidance. So for me, that was the only way I kind of knew how to do it, had a lot to do with my childhood conditioning, but also we were just trying to fit in, you know, just trying to really get into the scene.”

Getting his master’s degree in biotechnology

Opening multiple businesses after school

Realizing his career wasn’t the thing he wanted to do

Reaching a point of severe burnout during the pandemic

“I landed in a job that I thought I was destined for because I had worked so long to get myself into the medical field. I realized I did not enjoy it. And I realized this about the third day in, but I continued for almost two years. I just kept going until I reached that severe burnout.”

Starting to make internal shifts during lockdown

Realizing he was partying too much and not being healthy

Buying his first life coaching course to get sober and planting seeds

Discovering the world of personal development

“I started really reading this book, and it kind of showed me the importance of sobriety, and it clicked in my mind. I was like, wow, everything I want in life is on the other side of what I'm doing right now. So that's where I kind of went down the train of, okay, I need to change things. So I really threw myself into personal development.”

Cutting off social circles and throwing himself into his personal development

Going to the gym, learning constantly, and getting sober

Creating his first Instagram account, which grew rapidly

Connecting with people and seeing a new opportunity

“What really changed for me is when people started to message me. People were like, ‘man, this is amazing. It's helped my day. This has really changed my perspective.’ So many positive messages coming from this page, and that's kind of where it conflicted with my daily life. It really started to get in my head. I was like, ‘wow, I have this online avenue, which is not a business, but people are loving what I do. people are giving so much love and feedback.’”

Realizing how soul-sucking his day job was

Using his ADHD to his benefit

Reaching his breaking point and making the decision to leap

Life coaching accreditation, NLP, and CBT therapy

Stepping away from security and making a big move

“It felt like the scariest thing for me was actually leaving a salary. I realized that looking back, the salary is kinda like a drug, you know. It kind of keeps you dependent on it.”

Learning how to quiet his mind during lockdown

Getting clear on who Geoff is now

Managing anxiety and pouring himself into his business

Reorienting to himself after this period and getting sober

“I was spending so much time deconstructing thoughts. I became very clear on self-awareness. My clarity during this period in time was amazing. Every single time I felt a particular fear or anxiety, I would write it down, get to the root of it and isolate the memory.”

Fear of judgment and making peace with old memories

Content warning: sexual assault and suicidal ideation.

Today I'm talking with Amelia Zachry, author of Enough - A Memoir of Mistakes, Mania, and Motherhood. She is a survivor of, and advocate for, sexual assault and bipolar disorder. In this episode, she’s sharing her authentic story about how sexual assault turned her life upside down and how it took her years to move past her shame and start her healing journey.

What to Listen For:

Her life before sexual assault

How sexual assault affected her life as she knew it

"I thought that I had done something wrong and I placed all the blame on myself."

Not feeling like herself after the assault

Isolating herself and why she felt the need to do this

Spiraling into irresponsible and maladaptive behaviors as a trauma response

Learning that she had bipolar disorder which had been triggered by the assault

"A chain of things spiral happened right after that incident."

Her first experience in trying to tell someone what had happened

"I did open up to somebody before, who was my college professor who actually said to me, ‘if you hadn't been hanging out with thugs, this wouldn't have happened.’ And so after that, I kind of refrained from trying to tell people what happened, but also mostly because I felt shameful. I felt like people would view me poorly if I were to share the story."

Opening up to those she trusted years later

Her husband’s reaction when she told him about the assault

The phases she went through after the assault and how she reclaimed her power

The biggest catalyst of her healing

How therapy helped her begin to process

“In therapy, I realized that it was a violation."

How her Uncle helped her find hope

"He was able to give me a vision of a life that is worth living."

Living the stigma of bipolar disorder

Her journey to realizing and accepting that she needed help

Processing and healing through her writing

Understanding that trauma and healing are a journey

What she would tell her younger self

There are no wrong cards

About Amelia Zachry:

Amelia Zachry is the author of Enough - A Memoir of Mistakes, Mania, and Motherhood. She is a survivor of sexual assault and bipolar disorder. Enough chronicles Amelia's struggles with PTSD and bipolar as she finds solid ground to stand on now that she has broken the silence. She is an advocate for dismantling rape culture and normalizing mental health.

Website and social media links:

https://ameliazachry.com/

https://instagram.com/browngirlcrazyworld

https://facebook.com/browngirlcrazyworld

Resources:

Access our free 8-part Journey Mapping™ sampler program and begin uncovering the purpose of your path at www.TalesFromTheJourney.tv/Free/.

Read my memoir, Unravel: Rising Up and Coming Back from a Season of Living that Damn Near Killed Me at www.TheUnravelBook.com.

Tales from the Journey™ is a Stephenie Zamora Media Production in partnership with the phenomenal producers at ExploraSTORY Studios.

*As a heads up, we're switching back to once-a-week episodes at the request of our audience! We want to make sure you have plenty of time to listen to all the incredible interviews.

In this episode, I’m talking all about developing intuition, building self-trust, and learning to discern what’s right for us as we navigate life and work to live our purpose. These skills are especially critical in the aftermath of challenging chapters and big life transitions. You’ve changed at your core, and your life, relationships, and work are changing too. Life is shaping you, and that can be incredibly disorienting! And beyond that, the changes you’re going through are scary and uncomfortable for the people around you, and they’ll have a lot to say about it (often projections or from their fears and limiting beliefs). You have to know what’s right and true for you, but you can’t do that if you haven’t developed these skills.

What to listen for:

Revisiting the essential frameworks and processes in season one

Where intuition lives and how we hear our distinct “yes” and “no”

Developing a relationship with our bodies when we’ve been disconnected

“If we’ve had traumatic experiences, especially certain types of trauma, there are times that we’re not present and grounded in our body. I certainly experienced that after my loss, the PTSD, and the abusive relationship that I was in. It was hard for me to be in my body. And When it's hard for us to be in our body, it's hard for us to really tune in and hear our intuition speaking to us.”

Practices for grounding back into our bodies

A simple process for building trust in your intuition

Understanding how fear confuses how we read our intuitive hits

“Sometimes when we feel contraction, that doesn't mean it's a no. It just means that our mind got involved really quickly and triggered fear, and fear can often bring tension into our body. So you have to get to the root of what happened immediately after something was presented to you.”

Why intuition is harder for some people

Times my intuition has guided me to do totally illogical things

Why trusting our intuition doesn’t mean things will be seamless

“Sometimes our intuition is leading us directly into something that will be challenging and hard and difficult because that is what we need to go through in order to be the person that we want to be.”

What it means to build trust in ourselves

Having integrity with ourselves and why it matters

Pushing our edges and navigating the terror barrier

Understanding our subconscious beliefs and why we self-sabotage

“Essentially, when we go beyond what’s known and familiar, our subconscious comes into play, and it does everything that it can to get us to stop. That’s why we self-sabotage. That’s why it seems like everything that can go wrong does go wrong.”

Learning that we can do hard things

The Universe is continually expanding, and how this applies to us

Building trust in that greater energy at play

How we can cause the world to reconfigure around us

“At the very least, decide that you live in a universe that supports your highest good. That its baseline wiring, the way that it is designed to function, is to support you in creating what you want. Decide that the world is not out to get you, and that shifts your perception. That shifts your way of being in the world. And it allows you to create different outcomes.”

Only you know what’s right and true for you

Why these journeys trigger the people around us

The many times I’ve gone against everyone’s advice

The critical elements of discernment you need to understand

“That takes a lot of self-awareness and a lot of ability to be honest with ourselves.”

Going against what other people want for us

Understanding your subconscious programming

Seeing this play out in our incredible interviews

Resources:

Grab my Reconnecting With Your Intuition Self-Coaching Gui...

Today I’m talking with William Branum, Founder and CEO of Naked Warrior Recovery, a CBD company focused on the recovery of veterans and first responders about the Navy SEAL mindset for navigating big transitions. William spent 26 years serving as a Navy SEAL, leading major combat operations and missions, and began suffering from physical and psychological symptoms that negatively impacted his well-being and quality of life. Like so many others, he used alcohol and prescription drugs to mask the symptoms until he discovered the powerful healing properties of CBD. In this episode, he’s sharing the journey that led him to found his company without any entrepreneurial or industry experience, develop his GET NAKED! Mindset, changing the lives of veterans (along with individuals from all walks of life).

What to listen for:

His background as a Navy SEAL

How the transition from military to civilian life was his most arduous mission

Growing up in a small town and how he discovered the SEALs

Not feeling ready or prepared for boot camp right out of high school

Taking a stand and asking for the assignment he wanted

“He turns to my commanding officer and says, ‘Hey, is William a good guy?’ And my commanding officer says, ‘yes, he was the sailor of the quarter of this quarter,’ which is kinda like employee of the month. And so he turns back to me, and he is like, you’ll be in the first class after your or time on the ship is up. Six weeks later, I’m off to California to go to seal training.”

The transition to SEAL training and how it took 13 months

Teaching sniper school, the 9/11 attacks, and deploying overseas

Having an “I can do anything” mentality

“I just have never been a quitter. I’ve never really quit on anything. I know that I came from humble beginnings, and I knew that I never wanted to be like that. And so I wanted to be a better me.”

Getting diagnosed with ADHD at the end of his career

Limiting beliefs from his struggles in school

Having to work harder than everyone else

“In SEAL training, people made it look easy. They could run effortlessly and swim and fly around the obstacle course and do all these things. And they were natural leaders. I struggled at everything, but I always knew that it was a struggle, and I just had to work harder than everyone else. I was okay with that. I just try to work harder than everyone else because I know that’s what I have to do.”

The expectation to perform better than the day before

How it felt to be in real combat situations

Developing noise in his head and how that affected him

Drinking to sleep and cope with his symptoms

Feeling lost after leaving his work as a Navy SEAL

“I had a badass mission. I had a purpose. When I went to bed at night, I still knew what I was gonna do the next day. I knew why I was gonna do it, how I was gonna do it. And so the day that I retired, it was like, I lost everything in my life. I still had family, but I lost my mission. I lost my purpose. I lost my team.”

Discovering CBD and how it changed his life

The meeting at a conference that changed his life

How his dad’s suicide ties into his work

Getting vulnerable and exposing yourself to heal

The work he did before he founded Naked Warrior Recovery

Navigating failure and how his SEAL training supported him

“Never quit on yourself. Never quit trying to improve your life. If you started a project or a program or something that was hard and kind of stressful, it’s gonna be a challenge. If it was important enough to start, then it’s probably important enough to take it all the way to the end, whatever that looks like.”

Finding the courage to get help and support

Starting from nothing and no experience and building his CBD business

Sharing his story to help others heal

Advice he’d give to anyone still struggling to heal

About William Branum:

William Branum is the Founder and CEO of Naked Warrior Recovery,...

Today I'm talking with Keisha Greaves, the founder of Girls Chronically Rock, an adaptive fashion company promoting self-love and confidence in the disability community about passion after a chronic illness. With a lifelong passion for fashion, Keisha’s plans were momentarily detailed when she was diagnosed with Limb-Girdle Muscular Dystrophy at age 24. In this episode, she’s sharing her journey from diagnosis and finding her way back to her passion and her purpose, launching her fashion line and working to spread awareness of Muscular Dystrophy, and balancing life with chronic illness.

What to Listen For:

Starting to get weird symptoms in her body

The final incident that led her to her diagnosis

What life was like prior to her diagnosis

Having a passion for fashion from an early age

Knowing she wanted to be an entrepreneur from an early age

Creating a business plan to launch her own fashion business named after her grandmother

Getting her diagnosis and shutting down

"I'm thinking, well, she has to have call the wrong patient. Maybe she got the test results mixed up. Maybe she called me by accident, you know, but I knew deep down inside something wasn't right."

Googling her diagnosis and what went on in her head

Denial and hiding her diagnosis even as she started to use a cane

The moment of acceptance

"At that moment when I was writing and saying everything out loud, I'm like, wow, I have muscular dystrophy."

Finding support on social media

Feeling like she’s lived in two worlds

Still having days of sadness, exhaustion, frustration

Don’t let social media fool you!

The power of connecting with people who have shared experiences

"There's nothing. And I mean, nothing, like talking to somebody who gets it knows what it's like living with muscular dystrophy."

The difference between talking with a therapist versus talking with a friend or family member

The hard pivot after her diagnosis

Reaching a point where she wanted not only to put her fashion degree to good use but also to inspire those with chronic illness

“My whole new perspective and vision has changed, but still within the fashion industry."

The process of learning as she went to get her business started

Her goals for the future

"I don't just look at it as a Girls Chronically Tock clothing brand, but a Girls Chronically Rock movement."

That advice she would give her able-bodied self

About Keisha Greaves:

Keisha Greaves, the founder of Girls Chronically Rock, has always been passionate about fashion. Born and raised in Cambridge, MA, Keisha has a bachelor’s degree in Fashion Design and Merchandising and an MBA. At age 24, she was diagnosed with Limb-Girdle Muscular Dystrophy, and her life changed. But far from being bogged down by it, Keisha decided not only to embrace it but to celebrate Muscular Dystrophy and other chronic illnesses, giving life to her dream of starting a fashion line.Today, Keisha is a motivational speaker who talks about spreading awareness of Muscular Dystrophy, balancing life with chronic illnesses, raising money for causes, advocating for disability, and other related topics.

Keisha has been featured in several media outlets like Good Morning America, The Today Show, ABC News, and more! One of her proudest moments is when she was featured in Today Style Heroes 2018. She was featured with other celebrities like Gabrielle Union, Drew Barrymore, Debra Messing, Mindy Kaling, and more, for her inspired clothing line.

Keisha has also been the Massachusetts State Ambassador for the Muscular Dystrophy Association(MDA) for two years. She has worked with Massachusetts’ Governor, Charlie Baker, and successfully got September 30th officially proclaimed as Limb-Girdle Muscular Dystrophy Awareness Day. Further, she also received the proclamation from Mayor Marc McGovern from the city of Cambridge.

Website and social media links:

Today I'm talking with Sarah, a multi-passionate entrepreneur and founder of Sorry For Your Boss, ExploraSTORY Studios, and Resinating Designs about leaving toxic work places and bad bosses behind! In this episode, Sarah will be sharing with us some of the gnarliest experiences she’s had in her career from toxic workplaces, to bad bosses, and everything in between. She’ll be sharing her journey in which she worked at burnout levels trying to fit herself into all the boxes that weren’t meant for her only for the universe to keep shoving her repeatedly towards the path she needed to be on - sometimes these shoves felt like a gut punch and were rather unkind. She’ll be talking about the many things that cracked her over and over before reaching a very dark breaking point, and how she began to heal and come back from this dark place.

What to Listen For:

Multipassionates in the workplace

Starting her adult life in the midst of an economic downturn

A journey that started with the stress-inducing question, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Trying to fit herself into the box of societal norms and getting pushed out of that box over and over, sometimes in really nasty ways

Doing jobs that were mentally and physically draining

A few of her experiences with toxic bosses and workplaces

"It should have been a red flag from day one."

A longtime winning strategy of taking on ALL the responsibilities in every job

The shocking reason one boss told her she wouldn’t be receiving a raise

"It's not our fault that your husband likes to play video games. He should be able to support you."

Employers that tried to cover being bad bosses with random acts of kindness

The job that didn’t break her but put the most cracks in place

Having the numbers to back up her work, being told she’s doing a good job, but constantly having to train a middle man to be her boss

Having her job given to a young man fresh out of college with no experience in the industry or the field

Still doing the same work while the new boss was getting paid nearly twice as much to basically go to meetings

Packing up her desk and being ready to leave immediately

"The entire time that I worked there, I was working all the hours at burnout levels, I was there early in the morning and I was there after everyone left at night, and I was exhausted."

Leading a new organization for the same employers

"When the problem is a cultural fit, you can't fix that with a different position."

How the last year and half of working for this employer went

Feeling like the organizational stepchild

The wild thing that happened when it came time for her annual review

The shocking meeting that she thought was her annual review

Her bosses confirmed they’d “lost their passion for it and it had become a point of stress”

The part of the meeting she never expected

"We think the organization has plateaued. So, we think the only way to break that plateau and have it become like a really great organization would be for us to hire you a boss."

Trying to be supportive because she wanted to get back to the work she loved

Paying a consultant to confirm a lot of the things she’d been trying to push through for the last several years

The consultant’s thoughts on hiring a new boss

Hiring and training her own replacement

Overhearing a conversation about how she was about to be let go

Being offered three weeks severance after 6 years

Extra piece for those who read shownotes. Sarah didn’t mention this in the recording but wanted to add an additional instance to the list of bad work days throughout her career. The tale below Sarah lists as probably the worst thing to happen to her in her professional life - but still not her breaking point.

“As I drove away from that office for the last time, I felt a lot of things. I felt sadness that I likely wouldn’t see some of my international friends connected to ...

Today I'm talking with Rhonda Daniels, CEO of Natural Radiant Life about building a thriving business after a fall from grace. In this episode, she’ll be sharing her journey towards a business that was always calling her, and all the obstacles she had to push through to get to where she is now, running a business that lights her up alongside friends. You won’t want to miss this one!

What to Listen For:

Living her best life and having it crash down around her in the 2008 collapse

Grieving the loss of this career and life

What she would do differently knowing what she knows now

"I was grief-stricken and trying to figure out what's the next step, all the while trying to pay bills and do all the things that we have to do."

Taking a job to pay the bills and experiencing the worst nine months of her career

Getting back into skincare

Thinking she’d found her forever job

Getting laid off in January 2020

Applying the lessons from her last job loss

"I just said, listen, you get the month of February to feel all the feelings, all the things, let them bubble up, let them come out. Scream, cry, curse, whatever you need to do. And on March 1st, I said, okay, it's done. You have to move on. And that doesn't mean that all of the feelings were gone. It just meant that I had to force myself to take the next step."

Stepping into the next chapter by sending some emails

Where one of those emails ended up

Brining in her friends

Taking big, bold action

Launching a new LLC in the middle of the pandemic

Lessons learned from her second job loss

"I could have done so much more because I never expected it to end. I was living the life, extravagant trips and cars and all the stuff. And so while I did save some, there was a whole lot more I could have done. And I recognize that."

Being prepared for the leap financially, but not emotionally

Losses of loved ones and lessons in grief

"My father would always say to me, ‘you can't ask ‘why me?’ when it's bad, if you aren't willing to ask ‘why me?’ when it's good.’"

How she felt taking the job she didn’t really want

Wondering how she got there

Knowing that wasn’t all that there was for her

Asking herself what she enjoys

How working with Avon helped her bring back her confidence and belief in herself

Realizing that his prayer was being answered through the people in his life

How agreeing to train for a half marathon helped her find a peaceful headspace

"Running became cathartic for me. If it was a bad day, if it was a bad week, if things may not have been going the right way, either business-wise or even personally, I could go out for a run and come back and feel refreshed and renewed and okay. I can tackle this thing"

A support system of friends

Practicing mindfulness to help overcome overthinking

How getting angry helps her navigate difficult situations

Asking herself the tough questions

"I never felt like I was my best self. I was good. I was good enough, but I wasn't my best self. And so when that happened in the midst of the uncertainty and upheaval, as you mentioned, there also was a moment where I thought maybe it's not them, maybe it's me. And maybe there is a calling that I'm ignoring, and that is why this keeps happening to me."

An honest conversation with a friend

Feeling frustrated when she realized what she wanted but didn’t know how to get it

Getting up every day and doing something to get closer to it

"I couldn't sit still and just hope that it was going to happen. I had to do something to, you know, bring the universe into alignment."

Reaching out to her network to learn how to move forward

What she tells herself when she’s feeling unsure about her path

Reminding herself of her history to write her next chapter

Keeping her inspiration right on her phone so it’s there whenever she needs it

Her 24-hour rule and how it helps her feel the feelings without ...

Today we’re talking about navigating seasons of healing, growth, and low self-worth, which are the reasons behind why I took such a long hiatus after season one ended last spring! I’m sharing a bit of what I experienced in my personal life and how that led to some transformational work, and updating you on season two. If you’re navigating a challenging chapter or big life transition, struggling with low self-worth and an inability to show up fully expressed, or you’re ready to make impossible things happen… This season is for you!

What to Listen For:

Solo episodes going deeper into the topics you want

Key lessons I’ve learned through developing my Journey Mapping process

My experience taking time off from the podcast and social media

“I took a lot of time off between season one and season two, and I took time off from social media, blogging, and making videos because I was going through my own big growth season. This has actually been one of the most transformational seasons of my life, which is saying quite a bit, considering everything I’ve been through.”

My journey through trauma and loss and how that turned me inside out

How this season of my life has been different in terms of healing and growth

“This season, in particular, was one of alignment, really shaking loose anything that was no longer aligned with who I’m here to be in the world.”

How purpose is the key focus of Journey Mapping

“Purpose is my purpose. Helping others live their purpose and understanding the processes that we need to move through to show up fully aligned and fully expressed. Those are my passions and my work in this life.”

How a traumatic loss altered me and my life

The health effects of trauma and the causes they put into effect

“Traumatic suicide loss left me with PTSD. That PTSD led me into an abusive relationship with an addict, and [all of this] caused my business to die a slow death, leading to me ultimately filing bankruptcy as well as some really serious exhausting and terrifying health issues.”

Learning what it takes to truly rise and up come back

The ways I’m still uncovering how much of myself I lost

“I still didn't realize how much of myself I had lost, how far I had strayed from my truest self, and how much everything had really impacted my sense of self and self-worth. I thought that I was healing and growing and doing so much better—and by many accounts, I was. Relatively.”

Making better choices in my life, work, and relationships

Moving to the mountains and starting to align my life more fully

My first relationship after loss and trauma (and the breakup that followed)

How our unraveling showed me that I still had so much work to do

“I was still not valuing myself, not respecting and honoring myself, not loving myself enough to believe that I deserved a life that reflected who I am, and a relationship that felt supportive and nurturing in very specific ways based on who I am and what's important to me.”

Getting thrust into deeper process work after my breakup

Confronting my low self-worth, lack of boundaries, and lingering guilt and shame

Leadership training with former podcast guest Colby Tootoosis

Discovering Lacy Phillips and To Be Magnetic work

“I began to really unpack all of these things, and it was gutting. It was so emotionally intense and revealing and just raw. And I felt so held and so supported.”

Diving into shadow work to embrace and own all of myself

How core wounding, low self-worth, and shadow work play together

Navigating letting go, release, and realignment

What self-trust actually looks like

“It’s not always seamless. It doesn’t always look like you’re a courageous and brave person. A lot of times, it’s picking yourself up off the floor and giving something a go one more time or moving forward despite the terror and the uncertainty. And I will say that is what a lot of this year has looked like for me.

Today, we’re talking all about the power of persistence, surrender, and faith as we recap some of the amazing highlights from the first season of this podcast and look forward to all the goodness we have coming up for you in season two. We’ve had some incredible guests in this first season, and we can’t wait to share the stories of even more purpose-driven individuals with you in season two, along with more of my own personal journey and teaching on specific topics, processes, and frameworks to help you find healing, uncover your purpose and make the impossible happen in your own life.

What to Listen For:

Season one is ending

Season two coming soon

Must-listen (or relisten) moments from season one

The power of persistence

“Persistence is essential to living our purpose because the path to it is filled with obstacles. It’s challenging beyond belief, and it asks so much more of us than we believe we have to give. We are going to get knocked down.”

Stepping into surrender

“Surrender is about trust, trust in ourselves to navigate the unraveling as it happens, gathering new insight and information as we go making decisions and choices as we need. And knowing that no matter where we ultimately end up, we are going to be okay, maybe even better.”

Leaning into faith

“While many have a spiritual or religious relationship to faith, not everyone does faith is about belief in the unseen, but not yet happened. It’s about trusting in something that hasn’t been fully realized or actualized yet. Something we can’t explain. Something that might seem crazy to others.”

Resources:

Access our free 8-part Journey Mapping™ sampler program and begin uncovering the purpose of your path at www.TalesFromTheJourney.tv/Free/.

Read my memoir, Unravel: Rising Up and Coming Back from a Season of Living that Damn Near Killed Me at www.TheUnravelBook.com.

Tales from the Journey™ is a Stephenie Zamora Media Production in partnership with the phenomenal producers at Your Voice Better.

Today I'm talking with Kevin Barhydt about overcoming abandonment, abuse, and addiction. Kevin is a YouTube Creator and the author of Dear Stephen Michael's Mother. Listen in as Kevin gets super honest around the compounding traumas that led him to his current path of service. Trauma that including being abandoned by his mother at birth, experiencing sexual abuse starting at age nine, battling addiction by age 11, and living a suicidal lifestyle. Kevin reached a point of dealing drugs and opting for prostitution to pursue his next fix. He's sharing all of this along with the unconventional reason he made massive life changes that brought him to where he is today!

What to Listen For:

Being abandoned by his mother at birth

Being placed in foster care for his first couple of months

Getting formally adopted by a loving family

How knowing he was adopted impacted his relationships and self-worth

"The connection that starts to be made sometimes for not all of us, but many of us is people who love me will leave me. People who love me will relinquish me."

Experiencing abuse from his 4H leader at age nine

How this affected how he perceived himself and what he's here for

How his trauma began to manifest in other areas of his life

His dad's heart attack when he was 11, and needing attention the most

"When I was probably in need most of 'What's going on with Kevin?' attention, all the attention had to go to dad, and rightly so. Even my attention went to him. But while my attention went to him, I was screaming inside. And then, of course, I was screaming at him because he couldn't help me."

His first experience with getting drunk at 11 years old

Stealing pills from his father to get high and avoid feeling

Ending up on the streets and turning to prostitution as a result of addiction

Dropping out of high school in 10th grade

His brain functioning so poorly he couldn't spell his last name

Going back to school and starting to take care of his physical body

Realizing through therapy that he'd been abused

Understanding that the things that happened to him aren't his identity

"The trauma had compounded so many times by then that unraveling that, or even addressing that was in fits and starts. It was really hard and painful, but that's where the healing began."

How addiction made him feel he didn't have worth or value

His master plan to stop using drugs and alcohol for one year, and the unconventional why behind this decision

Going through withdrawal when he stopped using

How coming out of the fog of drugs and alcohol affected his mental state

"All of a sudden, without the drugs and alcohol, the lights came on, the window opened a little bit, and I saw the prostitution. I saw the degradation, and I saw what I'd become very clearly. And without the scrim of the addiction, I just wanted to die."

Feeling like he should never have existed at his bottom

Getting to know himself on the other side of addiction

Understanding that he is a mystery that needed unraveling, but that he couldn't do it alone

Talking with his sponsor about not feeling a spiritual connection

His personal prayer that he prayed every day

Realizing that his prayer was being answered through the people in his life

His little hopes along his journey

Slipping in some of his routines after 12 years sober and finding himself lost and confused four years later

"I remember sitting in that apartment in Park Slope, Prospect Heights, Brooklyn. My beautiful wife and two kids sleeping in the other room. It's three in the morning. I'm in the kitchen, looking out this beautiful on this beautiful street, and I've got a straight razor in my hand. And I'm trying to say, Kevin, just do it. Just go. And I hadn't had a drop to drink."

How getting fired from his corporate job turned out to be the best thing that could have happened

Calling his sponsor and going to a meeting