Ally and Abdullah venture to stuff their least favorite fruit with their least favorite condiment in an attempt to create a rift in their otherwise perfect relationship. Banana Loca is an apparatus used to fill bananas that is so ridiculous that it would drive even the prudest of prudes to make a dick joke. Find out how insanely long it took our hosts to clean this product.

Ally and Abdullah indulge in their second dessert of the night by reviewing three flavors of Frozen Farmer ice cream, a brand that takes hideous fruit you wouldn’t dream of eating and tricks you into eating it. Find out how our hosts discovered this product in the wild while hunting for almost expired groceries, which shark was willing to take a bet on a beauty-queen-turned-farmer, and that Frank the cat will try to eat literally fucking anything including ice cream.

Ally and Abdullah slide toe-first into the single most successful product in Shark Tank history, and we’re not talkin’ ‘bout no Squatty Potty. The creators of Bombas did for sport socks what Toms did for ugly shoes, charging you more and promising to give a pair away to someone less fortunate so you don’t feel like a jerk for spending on socks what could feed an entire village for like three months. Find out which shark bet on Bombas, how our hosts field tested the product, and the fatal flaw that kept this brand from a perfect two fins up.

Ally and Abdullah find a Shark Tank business in the wild and take an unplanned foray into a restaurant chain that offers healthy meals you won’t have to sell a kidney to afford. Find out why Mark can’t sink his teeth into this pomodoro, Barbara offers nothing but a proverbial “convertible note”, and how Rohan triumphs in the freshness of a Kevin-free episode.

Ally and Abdullah mash their faces into a frozen beauty product that looks like a pacifier, tastes like baby food, and delivers icy death to your pores. Find out why a tank filled with sharks can’t seem to develop a taste for something that’s mostly bananas.

Thirsty for a Thrive Market sponsorship, Ally and Abdullah stoop to eating snacks made from actual agricultural waste and can’t stop raving about it thanks to one entrepreneur’s ingenious idea to gather up masses of “juicer poop” and turn them into chips that will never be as addictive as Lay’s, or to a lesser degree, heroin. Mark plays the strong silent type, Lori prints out a loan application, and Mr. Wonderful swears he’s successful with women on this episode of Talkin Tank.

Ally purposely subjects herself to the stings of southern Glendale’s notoriously ravenous mosquitoes as Abdullah looks on in horror, all in an effort to test the effectiveness of the cleverly named Bug Bite Thing, an item that looks like a penis pump that makes your penis smaller, and is only marginally good at treating bug bites. Does this “Thing” work? Where does the saliverpoison actually go? And why are untrained civilians unwittingly using this it to suck pieces or their faces off? The answers to none of these on this episode of Talkin Tank.

Ally and Abdullah review a delightful product designed by a cat for cats and marketed by a human being hell bent on scaring away sharks by bringing up said cat, which is dead. Cat Amazing is a poorly named but well designed piece of debris that your cat will love just slightly more than regular debris, and Ally and Abdullah learn this first hand by enlisting the expertise of their cat Frank, who found the cat amazing to be an acceptable obstacle placed between him and a small dried fish. Also, Mr Wonderful hates cats, Lori loves cats, and we all hate Mr Wonderful.

Awww sheet! Ally and Abdullah are in the laundry room to test out a product that looks like a dryer sheet but is a detergent but doesn’t say so on the box, and still somehow saves the planet. Ingenious! Find out why two guys named Chris with four million dollars in sales still ain’t shit to Barbara, what Lori will and won’t get out of bed for, and a precise academic explanation of how advisory shares work.