Talking ‘Bout My Evolution

I talk about how I've been feeling out of alignment, nervous, fidgety.  I can't figure out why exactly, but I have all this energy running through me that I can't dissipate easily.  I've been on edge for a few days now.  I am walking it out, cutting cords, clearing other people's energy out of me, but the anxiousness is persisting.

I talk about coming home from Michigan earlier in the day and being full of nervous energy.  I spoke with my son Henry earlier in the evening and he was having a rough time of things on his vacation with his Dad.  I got so amped up from that and had no idea how to help him.  I realize that I cannot make everything perfect for my kids, but it's still frustrating for me to watch them struggle through various life lessons.  

I talk about why I haven't launched yet and what I plan to do about it.  Imposter syndrome and fear are major factors in my decision to wait (and wait and wait), but wanting to be divorced is another contributing factor.  I just need to move past all my excuses and get going.  

I talk about a bunch of bad storms that rolled through Detroit and how the water levels are so high.  I discuss the water levels and their impact on my parent's yacht club and also what they discovered when the club recently tore their old clubhouse down (they are currently building a new one.)  I also talk about how I am actively practicing the art of allowing while surrounded by all the far right wing people I know in Michigan.

I talk about trying to get into peak state while in Michigan and I muse about where my audience is for my podcast.  I am not sure if my podcast needs some tweeking, but am open to suggestions.  

I talk about how different Detroit looks compared to Grosse Pointe -- the amount of dirt and litter in particular.  I also discuss the cleanliness of my brother's apartment and the effects of the Sonic Slider tuning fork on my hangovers.

I talk about a bunch of different things like how much I miss being on Eastern Daylight Time; how much I enjoy the mostly smooth sidewalks and streets in Grosse Pointe; what my friend is sharing about being in Death Valley; revisiting the dinner episode with my brother; and talking about how the food at my mom's does not get thrown out in a timely manner.

I talk about how I went to dinner with my brother and he was drinking too much, our waiter was operating at a most leisurely pace and my brother did something that I thought was disgusting and how that confluence of events made me completely lose my composure and temper.  On top of all that, my brother immediately denied doing the disgusting thing I heard him do.  I reflect on why I get so angry when people gaslight me.  

I talk about how I have mediation the next day and how I am nervous and not sure what to expect.  

I talk about UPW some more.  I got sidetracked in the previous podcast talking about Untamed.  I delve into more of what I learned and experienced during the seminar.  There were some amazing moments in the conference.