So, I’m going to see if Adrian can embed this meme from 2018 that we reference approximately 38 times in this episode, just for context. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Lb-A756On8) At any rate--back to business. We are wrapping up our desert island video game series before we get the hell off this island. (I’m very tired of mangos, y’all. I need a burger.) We talk some Sega and Nintendo games, do a deep psychological dive into Pokémon starters, shoot some paintballs at James Bond and his friends, and we even step on Sarah McLachlan’s toes and drop a couple “in the arms of the angel” PSAs on your earholes before the podcast takes a turn and captures real genu-iiiiine human emotion. And of course, like the best podcast episodes, we made you say both “ungh” and “n-nah n-nah”. So. We may be trapped on an island eating mangoes, but at least we got that going for us. Now, I got my Hunger Games-style shipment of Mass Effect Legendary Edition, so...I should go.

Adrian here. Yeah, I know I don't usually do the write-ups. But don't leave! I swear this will be fun! Long story short, Ashley and I ended up on a deserted island. Boat sprung a leak. Kinda my fault. Don't worry about that. We're stuck here, but luckily our crates filled with our podcast equipment and favorite videogame consoles washed ashore. We probably should've packed more food/water, though. Mistakes were made. Oh, well. Anyway, enjoy this fun chat about some of our favorite games that we played in between trying to find a volleyball to hang out with. Hey, it worked for Tom Hanks.

So...I was going to write an episode description about this Dad Rock compilation that we discuss in this episode, but I made the mistake of going to Youtube to watch the Batman Forever version of the “Kiss From a Rose'' video, and...I can’t string words together any more. My brain has been vaporized by that green...tv box...thing from that movie. I have so much conflict inside of me. This episode is very funny and you should listen to it. You should also take four minutes and watch this music video, so you understand why my brain is mush forever: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwvNAai29_0

PREVIOUSLY ON X-MEN! Um. I mean….Previously on Talking Like A Teen, Adrian and Ashley wrap up their 2020 playlists. They discuss Adrian’s 2020 playlist, diving deep into how anxiety-inducing music is good maybe, (because you need a soundtrack to destroy robots that are chasing you around a mall sometimes while rescuing a teenage girl), music that inspires you to do crime is always good (like trying to blow up a chemical plant, military missile facility, or US Senator Robert Edward Kelly’s brain), and that every playlist needs a song from a Sad White Lady (JEAN GRAY JEAN GRAY JEAN GRAY.) We learn some lessons from Adrian’s playlist as well, like how we should trust our family to not be assassins targeting political figures, sometimes we think rip-off Bowie sewer-dwellers are dodgy but they’re ok, and don’t get attached to that weird guy you’ve never seen in any of the comics before. Like other episodes, allegories for racism, classism, and sexism are rampant throughout--as well as a connecting storyline. Pretty deep for a children’s cartoon show--I mean...um...podcast episode. Obviously. Because we’re only talking about one thing here. Anyway...THIS ONE’S FOR YOU, MORPH. (All of this stuff is literally from the first season of the X-Men cartoon and holy shit, we just let kids watch whatever in the 90s, didn’t we?)

On this episode of Talking Like a Teen, the Senior VP of Sustenance Delivered Via Miniaturized Foodstuffs (Security Codename: BagelBites) and the UN High Commission of Simulated Combustion and Rounded Playthings (Security Codename: Crossfire) take a break from overseeing the world’s most important things to talk about the music of 2020. They discuss, among other things, the HBO/HAIM crossover you didn’t know you needed until now, Phoebe Bridgers’ first day of Mainstream Musical Success School, and how the Gorillaz might actually be the voice of a generation (sorry Kanye, your reign is over...back to the ocean with you.) These two executives also spend more time than important people should squeeing about Miike Snow, singing, and talking about some video game that is either about edible bugs or sentient snacks, depending on who you ask. They also take a moment to be genuinely thankful human beings before transferring you to the Italian ambassador’s office answering machine so you can make your prank phone call. This synopsis is brought to you by the UN and the Office of Making Silly Things Sound Overly Serious.

On this episode of Talking Like a Teen, Adrian and Ashley sidestep another weird ASMR podcast idea to finish talking about @ChillWaveKittens Old School Alternative bracket. They discuss another face on the Mount Rushmore of Problematic Faves Morrissey, the #girlboss narrative around Bjork, and the cautionary tale of Elliott Smith. Wait, I know that sounds serious--come back. Here’s your blankie and an apple juice--just sit still and hear me out. There’s the normal amount of nonsense as well, I promise. There are multiple singalongs (bonus points for the music drinking game because Ashley actually sings too), they drag Keith Richards for being a greedy jerk, talk TMNT toys, and somehow, some way, make it to the end of the bracket and crown their respective champions. And spoiler alert, no one gets swallowed by a whale in this one. Maybe next time.

On this episode of Talking Like a Teen, Adrian and Ashley find themselves trapped inside a nightmare of bad hockey and indie rock greats as they tackle another @ChillWaveKittens music bracket. They barely manage to wipe the sleep from their eyes before immediately starting a war with Nick Cave fans, K-Pop Twitter, and offending both sides of the Blur/Oasis Brit-Pop Battle of 1995. They try to get a handle on why Beck and Radiohead are so fetch, and for those of you playing the “Take a drink every time Adrian sings” drinking game, you are in for a treat. Somehow, through the chaos, they do manage to pick their champions, who will face off with the winners of the upcoming part two episode. This episode is sponsored by delirium and not enough caffeine.

On this episode of Talking Like A Teen, Ashley and Adrian take a look at the background of Blink-182’s album Neighborhoods. They take a look at the history leading up to the release of the album, including their initial hiatus, side projects, and what brought them back together. Ashley spends...a lot of time...dragging Angels & Airwaves (why did we let this pretentiousness exist), Adrian does some Tim Armstrong impressions, and they talk about the relationship between artist and consumer before the podcast devolves into squeeing over Travis’ BDE: Big Donatello Energy. Also, your hosts humbly request that you listen to this episode in an empty room, with one poster of Travis Barker, an old couch you pulled out of a dumpster, and a single lit pumpkin-scented candle.

Previously on the last episode of Talking Like a Teen, Ashley & Adrian started working their way through IG’s @ChillWaveKitten's 2000s indie rock bracket. After working through one half of the bracket, your hosts have reconvened to go through the other half of the bracket and each crown their own champion. They also get into a discussion about Zach Braff and The Shins, whether you can be underrated when someone makes an episode of American Dad about your band, and whether or not Isaac Brock would buy you and your high school friends beer for your house party. Adrian also relives his live Flaming Lips experience, Ashley disparages the good name of Bright Eyes and the two try to figure out whose champion reigns supreme.

On this episode of Talking Like a Teen, two friends reunite on mic after not recording for a couple of months (because one of them moved across the country and it was a Whole Thing™) to find the world in shambles. They attempt to put the world back together in the whole way they know how--by teaming up with Instagram cool guy/music fan @ChillWaveKittens to tackle a music-meets-sports bracket discussing 2000s indie rock. Ashley and Adrian argue yet again about Arcade Fire, Adrian waxes poetic about meeting the Thermals, they sing the praises of their indie rock dads, and Ashley dispenses Decemberists-themed life advice. They also check in on video games, talking a bit about the rumored Mass Effect remaster and some Street Fighter II chat.