Talking Points with Kia Rae

Often we forget all that educators represent within our society, with the pandemic it seemed they would finally get the praise and support they deserve. Even if they did (which they did not), we would never be able to repay them for all they have given each of us. 

My life has been changed by educators- I think we all can confidently say that. While I know our education systems are not perfect here in America and are often a place that helps keep inequalities going but I am not taking that route and teachers are usually working within the many flawed systems we have. My first teacher is my mother who is working as an educator today, my sister is a teacher and many of my beloved friends are teachers or have been teachers. We consistently ask them to do more, be more, get more when they dont have the resources. We expect them to cover where parents can not. I thought it would get better through the pandemic and sadly was I wrong.

Just because I am the age of your children and grandchildren doesn't mean I am your child and you can talk to me any kind of way. 

Many of my friends, acquaintances, and coworkers are old enough to be my parents. There are so many benefits to having older friends either as mentors, sharing life experiences, and giving good advice. Honestly, I am so grateful to my older friends because they have helped me navigate so much in my life- but those are not the kind of older people I am talking about. 

It’s the folks who negate your experience and assume you have a barrier because of your age. 

In the spirit of spring cleaning and clearing out space, I know many of us are packing our stuff up to take down to our local donation spot just to get it out of our house but have you sorted it yet? 

We are all in an online resale group- it might be clothing, it might be jewelry, or random specialty items. Towards the end of last year, I started buying more second-hand items from other plus-sized women. There was one sparkly skirt that I loved but I waited to reach out. When I finally reached out to her to buy, she said “oh I donated it”. I had to check myself because I was like “that's a nice skirt!” and then I thought about some 20/30 something finding this skirt on a thrift rack and being so excited. We need to normalize donating nice things to charities because everyone should have the chance to be fly for cheaper. 

People think the “Gen Z” generation is weird but I stan these game changers and all they will shift in their years to come. 

One of the things I do in my free time is volunteer and mentor sorority women. That's right- college girls.  But let me tell you, it's one of my favorite ways to spend my time. They are smart, driven, know how to read into any and every rule but they also know how to take care of each other, build deep relationships and seek a more equitable society. One of my favorite memories of working with one of my sorority women was right before a recruitment event- I asked them “what they wanted to see in their new sisters”. I braced for shallow answers. And the answers I got made me realize- “The kids are alright”.

Virtual baby showers, graduations, weddings and birthday parties became a staple during the pandemic. We had to transition and change celebrations in a way that we never imagined. While some folks thought it was best to postpone or cancel, it can be best to celebrate regardless.

A friend of mine sent me the link to her virtual college graduation. She had worked long and hard to obtain this degree and I was so upset for her that she did not get her day to walk across the stage and claim her reward for sticking with it. Of course, I clicked the link and sat in my living room- ready to screenshot and cheer my friend on. And it started me down the path think about celebration and why it is so important to still celebrate in the mist of all that's going on.

It's ok to be tired of people and we need to come across more honestly 

I feel that we have all experienced a situation where we haven't been honest in the moment and maybe turned away from just letting someone have it. Here is why we should go ahead and let them folks have it.

20 years ago Mary J Blige graced the airwaves with Family Affair and the No More Drama album. If you don’t know what I am talking about stop right here and go ahead and look up this magical gem from the early 2000’s - the video is everything you need to know.

Did you know makeup expires? And usually, it's not a long shelf life either. In this episode, Kia Rae discusses discarding makeup, not donating old products, cleaning brushes, and using a makeup clean out as a chance to refresh your look.

Being wealthy or rich does not make you a better person

I couldn't understand why people were so opposed to aid for folks affected by the pandemic and in a conversation with my mother it hit me- people view being in poverty as a moral failing when really that is far from true.

After all we have been through in the last four years, it is extremely wild to hear people say things like “we can still be friends regardless of our beliefs”. That’s not how this works at all. How can you expect people to forget and move on without accountability for the horrible things said and done?