Talking to Strangers (About Music)

I saw a man and his son peering through the gate of my building. A normal person might have been aggravated at the infringement of privacy, but I saw an opportunity to meet someone new, and welcome them. Turns out he had come to the building, an old clock factory, to show his son, Elijah, because it's mentioned in my neighbor Selina Alko's book. Small world. Listen in to my chat with Sam about the history of Brooklyn (my building included) and lots of interesting factoids about NYC, and thoughts about the openness of people here.  

I found myself late one night careening home with a lovely man from Bangladesh, whose name I'm not even sure how to spell. It was a great conversation, filled with his positive psychology about people and the world. We are, indeed, social beings, and taking the time to connect to one another, especially when we share small intimate spaces like cars, can be pretty special. 

I heard him before I saw him, the saxophonist in the tunnel in Prospect Park. I stood there a while listening, recording the beautiful sound of the music reverberating off the walls. And then I spoke to Baba Jiwe Damudillard. He plays there, and often pulls in others to play with him. Music brings people together, all kinds of strangers. Baba Jiwe's mission is to make that happen more. 

Maybe it was when she began "Slapping the Salami," or when she sheepishly admitted the "salami" was actually Kielbasa. Or maybe it was when (Sung) Uni Lee asked for volunteers (for a Bangers and Mash-eating contest) and talked about the importance of breaking the boundaries between performer and audience when I knew I had to go up and talk to her. In this episode, taped just after The Bushwick Book Club's medley of performances around the book "White Teeth" by Zadie Smith at Barbes, Uni and I chat about the power of engaging audiences in new ways, and lots of other cool stuff. Introducing myself to inspiring artists is one of my favorite things about talking to strangers! 

In this episode, I sit down with my husband, Geordie, to discuss how we first met, and how we have morphed and changed in the two-plus decades since that moment. Marriage is a union that requires constant adaptation. It is not a license or vows that keep two people connected, it is a daily challenge to communicate your needs, listen to someone else's, and decide whether it works or not to be together. Even with a commitment to honesty and caring for one another, there are many moments of loneliness, and a questioning..."who is this person in my house?" 

Aah, the fearlessness of loving another human! With the opening up of ourselves to another, we become vulnerable. With the great joy of love comes also great disappointment. And yet to stay closed against love, to harden our hearts...that, to me, is the greatest sadness of all. Connection is crucial. We learn so much about ourselves in the compare and contrast with another. We must learn to breathe through the pain of love, and persevere. This podcast is a meditation I recorded along with some piano to help you through that difficult process. 

When I talk about strangers, I am usually referring to someone else, someone that I don't know yet, that I meet on the subway or at a party, or in a bar. But, recently, it occurred to me that I am often the stranger. And sometimes, frankly, I don't know how to talk to myself. Can I be as compassionate with myself as I can with a stranger on the street? Can I listen closely to myself? I share with others this idea, wondering how they might speak to themselves when things inside their head get...strange. In this episode, I introduce my friend (previous Stranger) Charmaine Davis-Elliott, who had a great tale of how she was able to communicate with herself at a tough moment. 

Remember everyone, Talk to Strangers, especially that stranger within, and speak kindly! 

A chat with performance artist/filmmaker Fritz Donnelly in his Williamsburg, Brooklyn studio about connecting in real time (even if, sometimes, that includes screens.) Fritz was a friend from the moment we met. I immediately appreciated the statement he was making by being A Man in Tights, and have in the ensuing years continued to admire his efforts to push people in disarming ways out of their comfort zone with his bravery and humor. Tune in!

Top 5 Reasons I LOVED my trip to Jamaica: 

#5. Roadside jerk stands. Yum. 
#4. The amazing blue/green of the Caribbean Sea.
#3. Hiking through the bush with Damon, our amazing
machete-wielding guide who cut open almonds, guavas
and gave us an incredible fish and yam lunch by Kwaaman Falls.
#2. Surf lessons, jerk and ganga at Boston Bay. 
#1. Meeting this incredible like-minded lady, Charmaine Davis-Elliott, 
a self-named "Hustling Housewife" and an awesome spirit! We chatted
about her beautiful blessed life in her bungalow overlooking the sea at 
Strawberry Fields Together, in Robin's Bay. Give it a listen!!

I sat down (over the phone) with my gorgeous friend/former stranger, Joelle Provost. She has moved back to the Bay Area, where she's from, but our memories of meeting and connecting in Brooklyn are strong. It's amazing how quickly one can recognize a true kindred spirit. Joelle and I chat about how and why she makes art, and the amazing alchemy that brings people together in the world.