Tara and Andrew Versus The Scarecrow Video Movie Guide

Episode six! 

Do you love wrestling? Sure, we all do (citation needed)! In this week's episode we watch the 1999 wrestling documentary, Beyond the Mat. The two of us are basically know-nothings when it comes to wrestling, but I think it's safe to say that our favorite WWE wrestler is one Donald J. Trump. Whatever happened to that guy?

NEXT TIME: We bear witness to the scientific boner of all time.

(not pictured: a Windtalker)

We're lazy, so you'll have to come up with  your own joke about this movie being a bomb.

We'll spare you the suspense of waiting to hear what rating we gave Windtalkers and just tell you up front that it's not a very good movie. So not very good, in fact, that someone might even go so far as to say it is a bad movie. Is it the worst movie ever made? No. Did it still manage to make us pray for the sweet release of death? Boy, did it ever!

NEXT TIME: "What if, and just hear me out here, what if we made a movie about an evil industrial laundry press?"

                                         As promised, the priest from Battleship Potemkin

Episode three!

Whoooooo's ready for some Russian propaganda?  What, no one is? That's weird.

As far as propaganda is concerned, Alexander Nevsky isn't too bad-- the movie wears it on its sleeve, and by today's standards it seems downright harmless. If you do happen to watch it you should prepare yourself for a whole lot of singing, although it doesn't feel as out of place here as it did in Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man. There's no New Wine Festival scene in Alexander Nevsky, which I think we all agree would have spiced things up a little.

NEXT TIME: A real bad movie starring Nicholas Cage. 

Episode two!

 This movie was depressing as hell, which by all rights a movie about human trafficking probably should be. If you’ve ever wanted to find out how much worse your life could have been had you been born a girl in a part of the former Soviet Union, Lilya 4-Ever will answer any questions you may have had, and many more! It’s a good movie, but man, you better be prepared for a whole lot of unpleasantness before you watch this one. Pro tip: queue up a bunch of life-affirming fluffy animal videos in YouTube before you watch Lilya 4-Ever. You're gonna need 'em!

NEXT TIME: Something less likely to make us cry ourselves to sleep.

Episode one! For all of the talk of us using this podcast as a way to broaden our movie watching horizons outside the realm of horror movies and other weird shit, it figures that our first film would be a monster movie from the 1940's. Neither of us were particularly scared at any point during the movie, so it's hard for us to consider it a horror film. It felt more like a drama that just happened to have monsters in it. A Mon-Dram? That's a thing, right? If not, it is now. TM, patent pending, etc.

This episode was recorded on Andrew's old crummy cell phone, so the audio quality is... how you say... not so great. That gets better, we promise, as does our initial awkwardness. Aside from the guest appearance that the two of us made on the special Icelandic edition of Til Death Hit Restart, the video game podcast that our friends Susi and Leif host,  this was our first attempt at doing a podcast of our very own, so we apologize for any first-time jitters you may pick up on. However, if you'll look at the back of the tickets you should have received upon downloading this podcast, you'll clearly see that they are stamped "NO REFUNDS". Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause you.