Please hold while we shuffle the headphones...

Okay! Now Luke has a story no one has heard before! Something uncomfortable happened in bathroom at the race track.

We're sorry to those who think toilet humor is lowbrow. It's not always like this!  But, since we've dragged you down already, go ahead and make suggestions for how Luke can clean up this story enough to tell on stage...

Later: How can we prevent all natural disasters in the future? John has a suggestion. We're not really sure why the LGBT community was so offended by Pat Robertson's predictions, when they haven't properly tested his theory.

Finally: Most of us know what's WRONG with "cults," like Bill Gothard's Anti-Rock-and-Roll community. But what's the positive side of growing up in a Bible Cult?  We haven't watched Shiny, Happy People. But the interviews with Jinger Duggar have not been the "shocking, secret-revealing" expose that everyone was promised.

Reach out to the Comedian's family by emailing [email protected].