Tea Time with Elsa

Chatting about: A Question Worth Asking…

In this episode, we talk about how Relationships are made up of questions and answers. Sometimes, it can feel like life is just a series of problems to be solved, but when our patterns of stress come down to a reasonable level, those "problems" become simply questions worth answering. If we organize our questions to our horses in a way that focuses on things important to them first, then they are more open and interested in the kinds of questions humans might find interesting afterward.

Originally aired on: December 11th, 2024

Chatting about: How Horses Ask For Connection…

In this episode, we talk about how connection is made up of a series of actions showing how well a partner is known and understood. Horses ask for connection (ask to be known and understood better) by breaking harmony, either through push or pull. As humans we can choose to see that push or pull for the ask it is or we can punish the request for connection. The key is in the timing of our action and passivity. When we get the timing right the pushes and pulls become more and more subtle and gentle, creating a healthy relationship. When we get the timing wrong horses will tend to escalate behavior in an attempt to be understood

Originally aired on: December 5th, 2024

Chatting about: Ripples of Response...

In this episode, we talk about how to see the ripples of response within a herd of horses and how we can become part of these ripples. When a horse changes focus from one thing to another, their herd instinct wants someone else to notice also. If there is no response, there may be an escalation in stress and more obvious push or pull behaviors. When stress goes up the right amount, curiosity increases, when it goes up too high, fight and flight occur. When stress goes down, resting behaviors increase, when they stay low for too long, resting turns into ignoring and raises the stress of any members seeking that ripple of response. Ripples of response are a herd's primary tool for stress regulation.

Originally aired on: November 28th, 2024

Chatting about: Attention Replaces Pressure…

In this episode, we talk about a horse's need to be recognized as an individual can be used quite practically to replace needs for pressure in the relationship. While we will always use pressure to navigate safety situations, there are many many interactions with horses that do not have a safety component. When we find ways to physically show them we understand them and are paying attention, we find a horse's natural desire to cooperate is stimulated and the need for pressure dissipates.

Originally aired on: November 22nd, 2024

Chatting about: Interested in What Is, More Than What You Want…

In this episode we talk about stress. What is too much stress, what is not enough stress and how being aware of what is currently being experienced may be more important for a time than trying to change it.

Originally aired on: November 14th, 2024

Chatting about: Mental Learning Versus Emotional Learning……

In this episode, we talk about how mental learning and emotional learning are different in horse training. Many people are familiar with mental training which is puzzle solving or figuring out how to do one thing to get another thing. Emotional training is more important when it comes to regulation of the nervous system and developing strong bonds between partners. Emotional training is the practice of using the sensory system (seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, tasting, etc.) without needing to do anything about the information taken in. Practicing taking in information and processing it without needing to take immediate action on it develops the emotional strength needed for reliable social systems.

Originally aired on: November 6th, 2024

Chatting about: Building New Habits and Replacing Old Ones……

In this episode, we talk about how new habits become strong (or old habits become replaced) through the use of the nervous system and the resulting memories that become established. The vital key to this is the understanding of repetitions of experience and knowing when to play with another repetition, do something different, or take a rest.

Originally aired on: October 29th, 2024

Chatting about: When to walk towards, when to walk away…

In this episode we talk about some basic nuts and bolts of the physical relationship between horse and human and how the timing of these actions (walking towards or walking away) will make your horse feel more or less understood. Most training methods involve walking toward or walking away so the horse understands human desires. Working in freedom, we must shift the timing a little to show the horse we understand their desires first before we ask them to understand ours. Other training methods suggest you can only seek to understand the horse in total passivity. I am encouraging the middle-ground of action to show what you understand about the horse. Conflict is fighting to be understood; connection is fighting to understand. Fight is too strong a word in this context, but it gives you the idea of where energy is being directed, to understand or to be understood.

Originally aired on: October 22nd, 2024

Chatting about: Why Persist?…

In this episode we talk about the different ways we might share time and training with our horses. Persisting is an idea that is often difficult for students to understand and can be extremely beneficial when done well. A step up from Assertive leadership where everything you ask for is easy, and a step down from Dominant leadership where there is some need to control fight or flight, persisting in the things we ask of our horses is an interesting middle ground.

Chatting about: Challenges…

In this episode we talk about what a challenge is and why it is useful in your relationship with your horse. When we work with horses in freedom it becomes very clear when there is too much push or pull in the relationship and these moments of push or pull is what I categorize as a challenge. Being sensitive and proactive about practicing challenges in manageable ways better prepares us for future moments that might contain unexpected challenges.

Originally aired on: October 9th, 2024