What do you want to grow in your relationship with your child?  This episode will challenge you to turn an exhausting moment or a parenting challenge on it's head as you focus on the growth that is happening. By focusing on the growth, you will gain a deeper understanding of yourself, your child and the human experience. By intentionally choosing where to place your focus you can tap into deeper joy rather than tapping out with exhaustion. 

When we react with strong emotions each time our child is upset by a setback or challenge, we add our unnecessary anxiety to an already emotionally charged situation. A situation that might resolve or dissolve in the next moment if it isn't fueled by attention and energy. This is something to be especially aware of in today's parent/child relationship where we have access to one another all day long via text. This episode invites you to intentionally choose when and where to direct your energy.  In doing so, we model a balanced approach to dealing with discomfort. We are teaching that every uncomfortable feeling, mistake or challenge is not an emergency. This is how we create conditions for resilient, flexible and balanced kids. 

The USDA has upgraded the food pyramid to "choose my plate" as a way of helping us optimally fuel our bodies. Dr. Dan Siegel and David Rock have created a similar idea as a way of designing our days for optimal brain health. It is called the Healthy Mind Platter. In today's episode we will look at the seven activities each of us should include every day to create conditions for brain health, connection and overall wellness. This is a great tool for cultivating awareness and the helping our kids and ourselves to better self-regulate in the digital age. 

This week's short episode is a quick reminder of how we can model controlling our thoughts, reframing our perspective and keeping our commitments in the midst of chaos. In other words, modeling resilience. 

"Education in the 21st century must adapt to the challenges students face in today’s world.  Scientific research on cognitive development has revealed exciting discoveries about the way adolescent brains function and ways to teach the way the brain learns best."  says Casie Buckner-Munteanu, B.A., M. ED. In today's interview she provides resources and tangible strategies that you can use with your teens to help them discover their learning style. Teaching our kids to understand and advocate for how they learn best is one of the greatest tools we can give them. This is how we begin to cultivate a desire for lifelong learning for learning's sake. 

Today's interview is with a dynamic group of women from Sacramento who started an organization called Cour Training - Toolkits for Life. They noticed an increase in anxiety with their children and children in their community and decided to take action. They host weekend workshops for teens and parents equipping them with simple tools for reducing anxiety, regulating emotions, building resilience and providing an opportunity for connection and community.

Like many of today's teens, my daughter has struggled with major depression and anxiety. She has survived and is learning to thrive in spite of my lack of parenting skill. She has been gracious and patient with me as I have learned to be a better mom. She has figured out how to cultivate her inner world and tap into her own power as she begins her journey as an independent young woman. She is my greatest teacher. Her wisdom, wit, strength and empathy are a source of inspiration. The world is ready for this young woman's unique and loving contributions and I am so grateful to be on this journey with her. 

A blow-up or major conflict is actually an amazing opportunity to practice skills and grow emotional capacity. This is how we as parents and kids both get to widen, as Dan Siegel would say, our “Window of Tolerance.” Times of high tension can lead us to greater self-mastery and the ability to navigate discomfort and anger. It is during these times we  learn to communicate in more effective ways. These emotionally charged moments that seemed filled with despair can actually serve to deepen connection and grow the parent/child relationship. It’s time to embrace and be grateful for these sorts of practice opportunities that will continue to show up for us. How we show up in these moments makes all the difference.

Meet Grace. This is part of her incredible story of transforming and healing herself after dropping out of high school, navigating trauma and major family changes, using lots of drugs and frequent self-harm. She isn't quite 19 years old but through overcoming incredible challenges is wiser and more self-aware than many adults.  She has paved a non-traditional path for herself and has reached a place of knowing who she is, what she wants to do and is helping others along the way. She is an incredible example of the power that is within all of us and a reminder that there are many paths to creating a fulfilling, whole and healthy life.

Shannon Decker is Executive Director of The Speedy Foundation. The foundation was formed after Jeret "Speedy" Peterson died by suicide in July of 2011. Jeret was an American World Cup aerial skier and silver medalist at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver. The Speedy Foundation's mission is to prevent suicide, promote conversations to end stigma, and support mental health education. Shannon talks about the warning signs of suicide and what to do if someone you love is having thoughts of self-harm.  She discusses some of her interactions with teens effected by suicide, hopeful programs that she is seeing across the country and her work as a Mental Health First Aid Trainer.