...my brother and sister and I would be enlisted to go out into the paddock and whole thistles it was hot dry horrible work and I'd protest by lying in the front seat of the you with my legs sticking out of the window singing along with the Bay City Rollers I love watching American Imports like Bewitched and mash and I'd fight to stay up past my bedtime so I could absorb their accents and the wholesome story by far my favorite was The Brady Bunch I resonated so strongly with Marcia and Jan's boy troubles and since I was tall and lanky and forced to have my hair cut into a boyish crop I even felt a resemblance to Greg and he's gangly awkwardness it seemed like such an idyllic life and lovely lady who is busy with three lovely girls managed to meet a man named Brady who had three boys of his own the sweetness and he's of the Brady's family life was mirrored in my own my parents rarely fought we were middle class and surrounded only by people in our town that were the same I never saw any hardship poverty or loss I was never exposed to any other and we never traveled far from home I remember when I was eight or nine I heard about an uncle of mine who was getting divorced it was a totally New Concept to me since nobody in our town have been divorced I was fascinated by the idea especially since it was discussed in such secretive and scandalized homes just like the sheltered world's I saw on TV my imagination could only extend as far as what I was able to see The Brady Bunch gave me my earliest inkling that divorce did not have to mean the end of happiness she divorced my father when I was less year old filed for custody and was granted at by default when he didn't turn up to the custody hearing their marriage was short and he'd appeared to get a new mean and violent personality as soon as they were husband and wife I was born very soon after they married and it was clear that my mom was much happier about it than he was the final straw came when she left him alone with me as a baby because she had to go to work and when I had been crying for longer than he could handle he swung my best in it so hard that I fill out before punching a hole in the wall I'd married him so young and was a mother by the age of 23 so I was in for a rude awakening when all of a sudden I had to take care of myself and my daughter I decided that I needed a stable job so I went back to University to become a school teacher I worked in bars to make ends meet and I remember taking my daughter with me to lectures breastfeeding her in the back row and getting so grateful that I was able to get an education with such a young child before she left him my dad used to tell her that she was living in a Brady Bunch he meant it as an insult as he'd often find ways to make her question her intelligence he was telling her that she was to starry-eyed and too naive to be in the real world on the second day of her trip to Manchester I spoke to Truman briefly on the phone I don't remember what we spoke about but I remember thinking is accent was odd he joked about being my new stepfather which made me feel really weird perhaps it should have raised concern but instead it warmed my heart because I love to see what I imagine was our Two Worlds coming together true to my ex-husband's words I was letting this imaginary Brady Bunch perfect world skew my perception...

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...after letting her down with the flight her scam has sweet-talked her into forgiving him and they continue to communicate Renee was starting to question things in more depth he kept making excuses for not being able to video chat with her and he continued with the love-bombing he manipulated her at every turn but she started to realize that she may not be talking to the person in the photo Renee began to research scammers but continued to give him the benefit of the doubt they're still in contact and she's still coming to terms with the fact that the man she fell in love with has been lying to her in the next episode the cracks start to get too big to ignore Truman is manipulating her and gaslighting her so intensely that she even does it to herself make sure you listen to the next episode of drown valley crimes...

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...Leaving on a Jet Plane here's the last email my mom wrote before getting on the flight to Manchester hey Truman I'm on my way I'm going to dinner with my daughter and her boyfriend then off to the airport the flight is leaving on time all systems go I'm a bit nervous really excited to see you I assume you'll be meeting me at the airport if not let me know and I will get a cab to the hotel either way is fine I will forward you my ticket just in case I'll text you from Heathrow to let you know if the connecting flight is on time or if I have to hitchhike to you kidding I'll see if you're on Skype later when I get to the airport see you tomorrow how freaky that will meet tomorrow cheers Ruth what do you think now reading this email I'll just can't help but cringe I noticed that I was using a sweet new nickname for him true man I boarded the plane without receiving response from him he'd mentioned that he was feeling unwell in a few of our conversations leading up to this point and I was giving him an easy out for meeting me at the airport was this because I didn't want to seem demanding I was in for a shock when I arrived chapter 2 the police report the following is taken from the initial statement that my mum provided to the UK police she has changed some names and added some details but the events are retold from a record put down only days after it actually happened I was headed to Manchester flying in from Hong Kong when I arrived there was a text saying Truman was really sick and asking if I could get a cab to the hotel in the city center and he would meet me there I waited in the hotel until midday I'd arrived at 7:30 a.m. on Monday the 27th of December and then finally I called him to see where he was he said he'd been asleep after throwing up all night Truman called a cab down to the hotel and asked me to meet him in the lobby when I first laid eyes on him he was leaning nonchalantly up against a countertop in the foyer and was smiling warmly as I approach I was pleased to see that he matched his photos and was well dressed and very handsome we hugged and he seemed enthusiastic friendly and very happy to see me I was nervous but excited to finally meet him he said he needed to run some errands so he got back in the cab which is waiting outside and went to pick up a sign for his phone shop it turned out that we could not pick up the sign because it was a public holiday so we came back to the hotel when we arrived back in the hotel he said he'd forgotten his wallet and asked if I could pay for the cab I was irritated and suspicious but I paid the cab I later realized that getting me to go in the cab to get the sign was a ploy to get me to go with him as he didn't have any money to pay for it he would have known damn well that it was a public holiday and that the store would have been closed trim and later commented on how I reacted when he asked for this money and linked my response to my...

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...losing everything was devastating petrol was able to get his real details and images with the help of an advocate against romance scams and discovered he was living in South Africa but the South African police wouldn't help her Petra hopes that she can find a way to repair the relationships with her children in the next episode The Situation gets a whole lot worse and she starts to finally see what she's gotten herself into there's a moment of Terror and a rude awakening in a hotel room when the penny drops and she can momentarily see through the fog what isn't clear though is whether the fog will stay lifted by this point she's wound tightly around Truman's finger he has a strong grip on her and he's been carefully honing his manipulation tactics to try to scam her even further make sure you listen to the next episode of Drown Valley Crimes...

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...him telling her that he would be treating them to beautiful expensive accommodations she was deep in the process of investing in their imaginary future and this meant that she was becoming less able or think clearly by the day Little Red Riding Hood was told by her mother to bring a basket of food to her sick grandmother her mother warns her that the woods are dangerous and tells her to make sure she stays on the path she knows along the way Little Red Riding Hood comes across a wolf having never seen a wolf before she doesn't know to be careful since wolves are known to be untrustworthy the charms her into trusting him and she tells her about her Mission the wolf suggest that her grandmother might love some flowers and tells her about some beautiful ones just off the trail when Red Riding Hood goes off to find the flowers the wolf hurries off to eat her grandmother she puts on her clothes and gets into bed when she arrives the Girl Again proves gullible in that she doesn't through the wolf's disguise even though she senses that something's wrong her grandmother now has ears eyes Hands and Teeth that are too big although she can remark on her disbelief she's completely fooled and gets eaten as a result in the years since these events my mother has been on a journey to learn more about herself forgive her poor choices and try to understand why she participated in these toxic Dynamics for so long when we talk about it one of the words that keeps coming up is why didn't she see the wolf who was so clearly manipulating her and what's wrong with her ability to notice the red flags and act on them ability and Trust I usually defined next to each other because they're so related you can't have gullibility without trust but it's not the case the other way around some researchers in the field Define gullibility as trusting someone without having a or in spite of active evidence that they're not to be trusted humans are fallible it's normal for us to misjudge situations from time to time but gullibility refers to a pattern of being even in the presence of strong evidence that all isn't as it seems researcher Stephen Greenspan draws the distinction between gullibility and the related agility or the tendency to believe false information he says a key difference between gullibility and credulity is that gullibility typically involves some concrete action such as handing over a check to a con artist or marrying the same person for the third time despite a history of...

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...from Scan watch feel it to things like spelling and grammar mistakes inconsistencies in their stories and other signs that it's a scam like their camera never working if you want to Skype each other there had been so many inconsistencies already he kept basically refusing to get a webcam although not in so many words if you agree to meet a prospective partner in person tell family and friends where you are going scam watch strongly recommends you do not travel overseas to meet someone you have never met before so whoops I booked my flights and was going in all guns blazing be wary of requests for money never send money or give credit card details online account details for copies of important personal documents to anyone you don't know or trust if only I'd seen this website before I left it wasn't long before Truman would be working every angle to Swindle me out of my money it's been a long process for my mom to be able to look back on this with a maturity of hindsight and to see where exactly she was missing the signs it's obvious that there were a series of moments moments which one-by-one dug her steadily deeper into a hole that she was becoming less and less to be able to get a self out of in the next episode you'll see her act on what was possibly the decision that put her in the most danger she got on a plane to go to another country to meet a man she'd met online make sure you listen to the next episode of Drown valley crimes...

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...Leaving on a Jet Plane here's the last email my mom wrote before getting on the flight to Manchester hey Truman I'm on my way I'm going to dinner with my daughter and her boyfriend then off to the airport the flight is leaving on time all systems go I'm a bit nervous really excited to see you I assume you'll be meeting me at the airport if not let me know and I will get a cab to the hotel either way is fine I will forward you my ticket just in case I'll text you from Heathrow to let you know if the connecting flight is on time or if I have to hitchhike to you kidding I'll see if you're on Skype later when I get to the airport see you tomorrow how freaky that will meet tomorrow cheers Ruth what do you think now reading this email I'll just can't help but cringe I noticed that I was using a sweet new nickname for him true man I boarded the plane without receiving response from him he'd mentioned that he was feeling unwell in a few of our conversations leading up to this point and I was giving him an easy out for meeting me at the airport was this because I didn't want to seem demanding I was in for a shock when I arrived chapter 2 the police report the following is taken from the initial statement that my mum provided to the UK police she has changed some names and added some details but the events are retold from a record put down only days after it actually happened I was headed to Manchester flying in from Hong Kong when I arrived there was a text saying Truman was really sick and asking if I could get a cab to the hotel in the city center and he would meet me there I waited in the hotel until midday I'd arrived at 7:30 a.m. on Monday the 27th of December and then finally I called him to see where he was he said he'd been asleep after throwing up all night Truman called a cab down to the hotel and asked me to meet him in the lobby when I first laid eyes on him he was leaning nonchalantly up against a countertop in the foyer and was smiling warmly as I approach I was pleased to see that he matched his photos and was well dressed and very handsome we hugged and he seemed enthusiastic friendly and very happy to see me I was nervous but excited to finally meet him he said he needed to run some errands so he got back in the cab which is waiting outside and went to pick up a sign for his phone shop it turned out that we could not pick up the sign because it was a public holiday so we came back to the hotel when we arrived back in the hotel he said he'd forgotten his wallet and asked if I could pay for the cab I was irritated and suspicious but I paid the cab I later realized that getting me to go in the cab to get the sign was a ploy to get me to go with him as he didn't have any money to pay for it he would have known damn well that it was a public holiday and that the store would have been closed trim and later commented on how I reacted when he asked for this money and linked my response to my...

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"...my mother is a person who normally comes across as pretty together you'd meet her and probably be struck by her warm personality her slightly loud voice and Australian and a sense of humor to match she's known for her skills and problem-solving and managing people and his sensitivity to the plight of others has led her to be willing to lay down her own needs and help pretty much anyone who crosses her path together we left Australia when I was 11 years old so we could make a new life in Asia she'd been a single parent ever since she left my dad before I was a year old but I always felt provided for if a little lonely as the only child of a hard-working mother she was a high school teacher in Adelaide a coastal city in South Australia when she decided to relocate us to Hong Kong where she had been offered a job that paid well enough to make our lives look completely different we'd always struggled to make ends meet and I was up for the adventure I have a memory from as I was growing mother talking about how lonely she was she didn't have boyfriends since I was about eight or nine and I can remember feeling vaguely sorry that she couldn't have this thing that she wanted so badly one day about 10 years ago my mother found herself in a situation that I could barely believe she let herself get into she had followed her desire for a loving relationship so far down a rabbit hole that she barely managed to get herself out of it and back to say she and I have always been different so while I could understand her desire to find someone to love I had trouble understanding why she made the choices she made fool me twice is a chance for me to understand my mother's motive and piece together what I can figure out about why she was so easily LED on by a con artist I reasoned that there has to be something to figure out here how could a woman who has her head screwed on in so many aspects of her life be so blinded by the manipulation of one man the room was dark so it opened my eyes and wait for them to adjust the man in the bed next to me was snoring lightly and I hadn't been able to sleep it must have been for am slowly so I wouldn't wake I slipped out of bed and sat on the edge everything inside me was screaming I had to get out now but I knew that if I woke him up it would be all over strangely it was in the dark that I was able to see it all clearly this man had been manipulating me conning me out of my money and I'd fallen for it Hook Line & Sinker for me twice shame on me I did my best to keep my breathing calms I'm quiet as he lay there I could smell the alcohol raking on his breath it was comforting in a way I knew that alcohol makes people sleep more deeply..."

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"...catfishing is a term that's been around for decades but which came into use in popular culture around 2010 a documentary came out which was about the use of fake online identities to trick or scam other users later a reality TV series took the concept even further following people who had been conned by fake online identities catfishing is often done in romantic contexts and can definitely be for financial gain there's a moment in the original documentary when we're told about Sailors who used to ship live cod fish from Alaska to China according to this story The Fish would turn to mush in their crates having hardly moved while in transit one day someone had the idea to put catfish in the Cod crates to nip at their fins and keep them agile during the trip we're told that in life some people are catfish they keep things Lively by keeping us in a state of uncertainty but this story doesn't quite hold up to scrutiny code a saltwater fish and catfish are freshwater people with experience in the fishing industry don't believe there has ever been a market for fresh Cod usually processed before it gets chipped so it seems a little fishy that this could be the only explanation of the term most people think of catfish as bottom feeders and even though not all of them are it might be what gave the term its meaning despite what science says to the contrary the common understanding is that catfish are opportunistic eaters they're said to live in the muck water at the bottom of rivers lakes and streams where they scavenge for what they can find it's pretty obvious how this relates to my mom's story she was in the process of falling Hook Line and Sinker for genuine catfishing scam funny enough both of these definitions work for what happened she was being nipped at and kept uncertain and guessing she kept asking..."

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catfishing is a term that's been around for decades but which came into use in popular culture around 2010 a documentary came out which was about the use of fake online identities to trick or scam other users later a reality TV series took the concept even further following people who had been conned by fake online identities catfishing is often done in romantic contexts and can definitely be for financial gain there's a moment in the original documentary when we're told about Sailors who used to ship live cod fish from Alaska to China according to this story The Fish would turn to mush in their crates having hardly moved while in transit one day someone had the idea to put catfish in the Cod crates to nip at their fins and keep them agile during the trip we're told that in life some people are catfish they keep things Lively by keeping us in a state of uncertainty...

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