Temporally Scripted

By Temporally Scripted

Ever notice how the people who claim to have all the answers usually have the most boring lives?

We spent our twenties in underground clubs and festival fields, then built businesses i

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· Society & Culture

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How many episodes does Temporally Scripted have?

The podcast currently has 72 episodes available.

Temporally Scripted episodes:

July 25, 2026 ANDY BURNHAM: THE PM NOBODY VOTED FOR
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Andy Burnham is the new UK Prime Minister. Number seven in ten years. Nobody voted. Obviously.

Keir Starmer is out, the King of the North is in, and Britain's revolving door gets another spin.
His opening offer: 20 percent off your pint, a vague gesture at North Sea oil, and working from Manchester one day a week, which is apparently what levelling up looks like now.
The money for all of it is coming from you, because the British public "can handle a bit more tax", says a man whose electorate currently numbers zero.
We run the numbers on how many recent PMs actually won an election (two), why taxing the rich just buys them a one-way ticket out, and why Count Binface remains the only candidate with a mandate.
Chapters
00:00 Who voted for you? Nobody
01:21 20 percent off the pub
03:38 A coronation, not an election
05:38 The Manchester office ploy
07:58 Oil, gas and buzzwords
09:38 Where's the money coming from?
12:18 Britain's brain drain
14:02 Count Binface for PM
#AndyBurnham #UKPolitics #BritishComedy
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17min
July 22, 2026 SAGRADA FAMILIA TOOK 144 YEARS. YOUR TOWN GOT A GREY CAR PARK
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The Sagrada Familia is finally at full height after 144 years. Your town centre took a weekend to plan.
Gaudi's masterpiece vs modern British architecture, and why we stopped building beautiful things.
Barcelona spent a century and a half building something designed to link heaven and earth. Britain, in the same period, produced Milton Keynes.
Jack and Adam ask why every new building is a rectangle in a cement or glass finish, why nobody trains stonemasons anymore (the trade is dying out like the name Egbert), whether a dodgy contractor has snuck some cheeky rebar into Gaudi's cathedral, and why China could allegedly knock out a copy by 2032, a metre taller, obviously.
Completion is scheduled for 2036. Spanish 2036, so bring a book.
00:00 Barcelona spent 144 years on one church
01:39 When did buildings stop being beautiful?
03:38 "Let's make a big one" is not a design philosophy
04:33 Building things you will never see finished
06:17 Milton Keynes, Slough and other crimes
08:47 Cheeky rebar and dodgy contractors
09:49 Spanish 2036 and the fiesta problem
#SagradaFamilia #Architecture #BritishComedy
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12min
July 20, 2026 OPENAI IS LOSING $20 BILLION A YEAR. SO WHO PAYS?
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OpenAI loses $20 billion a year. Its fix? Offer the US government 5%.
The AI bubble, ChatGPT's new ads, and the leaked financials nobody at OpenAI wanted you to see.

Adam explains the entire AI economy using a sandwich that costs $40 to make and sells for $2, which is somehow also OpenAI's actual business model.

Jack works out that the endgame is a taxpayer bailout, a financial strategy previously reserved for banks and British water companies.

Meanwhile Meta and SpaceX are quietly selling shovels to the gold rush and edging towards the exit. The UK, being years behind in the AI race, may accidentally be the only winner.

Chapters:
00:00 The $40 sandwich problem
00:45 Why OpenAI offered Washington 5%
01:31 The leaked financials
04:07 The worst business pitch ever made
06:50 ChatGPT is showing you ads now
08:50 Too big to fail? Bailouts and shovel sellers
11:07 Replacing ourselves with AI

#OpenAI #AIBubble #ChatGPT
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14min
July 13, 2026 TRUMP PHONED FIFA AND THE RED CARD DISAPPEARED
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Trump phoned FIFA, a World Cup red card vanished, and the USA lost 4-1 anyway.
FIFA corruption, VAR conspiracies, and Folarin Balogun's very convenient reprieve.

The 2026 World Cup has gone full pantomime. The President rang Gianni Infantino, FIFA's disciplinary committee discovered red cards are optional if you ask nicely, and Belgium's appeal was rejected on the grounds that Belgium wasn't involved.
Meanwhile the VAR booths keep filling with fans of whoever needs to win, and Jack and Adam arrive at the only sensible fix: sack every referee and let the robots do it.
Recorded before England drew Argentina in the semi, so the theory gets tested on Wednesday.

00:00 FIFA is corrupt, apparently
01:00 The very independent review
03:00 VAR and the Egypt problem
05:00 Referees are only human
08:50 Just make the referees AI
09:45 England's penalty destiny

#WorldCup2026 #FIFA #BritishComedy
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12min
July 10, 2026 COULD COUNT BINFACE ACTUALLY BEAT NIGEL FARAGE
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Count Binface may be Nigel Farage's ONLY opponent in the Clacton by-election.
Every major UK party is boycotting the vote, and the bookies are slashing the odds on the bin.

Farage resigned as MP over allegations of undeclared donations, then immediately stood for re-election in his own seat. Labour, the Conservatives, the Lib Dems and the Greens have all refused to play along, leaving an intergalactic space warrior in a dustbin helmet as his most prominent challenger.
We break down how UK politics reached this point, the infinite by-election loop, and the finest manifesto in modern British history.

Chapters
00:00 Farage resigns to save himself
01:35 The infinite by-election loop
03:00 Farage vs Binface, the showdown
04:50 The Binface manifesto
06:45 Why this trial is a farce

#NigelFarage #CountBinface #UKPolitics
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11min
July 01, 2026 THE LOUDEST HUMAN ALIVE ONLY SHOUTS ONE WORD
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An Australian air con cleaner just shouted "NOW" at 122 decibels and became the loudest human alive.

Two immigrants investigate the world's loudest man, and whether Jack could take the record.

History was made this week: Joseph McGrail-Bateup, a part-time town crier and air conditioning cleaner from Canberra, out-shouted the entire human race at 122.4 decibels, roughly as loud as a chainsaw or a jet taking off.
Jack and Adam ask the important questions: should an angry Vietnamese wife hold this record instead, does the word you shout actually matter, and could Jack beat it with a well-projected "Galileo"?
Plus the woman he dethroned, who held the title for 30 years by shouting "quiet".

00:00 The world's loudest shout
01:10 Who should really hold this record
01:40 Does the word you shout matter?
03:55 The origin story we invented for him
06:50 The record he broke

#GuinnessWorldRecord #LoudestMan #TemporallyScripted
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9min
June 29, 2026 HOW THE UK HIGH STREET LAUNDERS YOUR HAIRCUT
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Why is every UK high street the same vape shop and barber?
We discuss, responsibly and without accusing anyone, the £30m laundering crackdown.

Debenhams couldn't survive. Woolworths couldn't survive. And yet every town in Britain now supports four barbers, a vape shop and an American sweet shop flogging £9 cans of Prime, all thriving shoulder to shoulder, completely above board, obviously.

We do the maths so the National Crime Agency doesn't have to, explain why the corner shop charges you a premium for the crime of walking, and salute the 75 brave new officers tasked with policing organised crime across a nation of 70 million.

Then we bulldoze the lot and rebuild the British town centre as one vertical vape tower, bargain booze at the summit. Make Grimsby great again.

00:00 The high street that's identical everywhere
01:35 You don't need customers if you launder
02:10 The terrified barber test
04:25 Why the corner shop costs more
05:05 75 officers, 70 million people
06:12 The vape tower: a new town plan
07:56 Make Grimsby great again
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11min
June 27, 2026 EVERY DELUSION IN STARMER'S FAREWELL SPEECH
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Keir Starmer resigned. We read the whole speech so you don't have to.

Two British expats go line by line through the most baffling political goodbye in years.

Starmer is gone, the sixth UK prime minister to quit in seven years, and his farewell speech was a thing of beauty.
Jack and Adam break it down claim by claim: the economy "growing faster than our peers", the small boats that are definitely under control, inheriting a party he describes as bankrupt, the restored global reputation, and half a million children apparently lifted out of poverty.
Plus the real question: how long does Andy Burnham actually get before the country turns on him too?

00:00 The proudest moment
01:45 The economy claim
03:50 The bankrupt party line
05:10 The reputation flex
05:55 The flag bit
08:45 How long does Burnham get?

#KeirStarmer #UKPolitics #TemporallyScripted
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11min
June 25, 2026 THE US GOVERNMENT JUST KILLED THE WORLD'S BEST AI
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The US government ripped away the world's best AI model and nobody's entirely sure why. Classic.

Anthropic released Claude Fable 5, let everyone play with it for three glorious days, then got a phone call from the Commerce Department at teatime on a Friday telling them to switch it off for the entire planet.
National security, apparently. The same government that blacklisted Anthropic for refusing to let the military use Claude for autonomous weapons now says the model is too dangerous for foreigners.
Which is everyone. Including the foreigners who work at Anthropic. You genuinely could not write this.

00:00 The ban lands
01:15 Hull celebrates promotion with blue drinks
02:00 What Fable 5 actually did
03:30 Can you VPN around a government order?
05:00 Best marketing Anthropic never paid for
07:00 The Pentagon grudge theory
08:30 Your own engineers locked out of your own tech
10:00 Building your own AI in the shed

#AIban #ClaudeFable5 #AIsovereignty
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13min
June 22, 2026 BRITAIN'S MOST DANGEROUS SPORT IS CHASING CHEESE DOWN A HILL
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Britain's most dangerous annual tradition got conquered by a German YouTuber. Again.

Every spring, Gloucestershire rolls an eight-pound wheel of double Gloucester down a near-vertical hill and invites the public to chase it. Bones break. Grandmothers get knocked unconscious.
Chris Anderson, the 23-time champion, came out of retirement to defend national honour and lost to a 23-year-old from Munich with a YouTube channel.
We discuss what this says about Britain, whether English cheese is even worth the fractures, and how many likes it takes before we have to do it ourselves.

00:00 What is cheese rolling
00:45 How the race works
02:15 The grandma incident
03:00 YouTuber vs the retiring champion
05:15 Is English cheese actually good
08:15 The 100 likes challenge

#cheeserolling #coopershill #britishculture
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10min

FAQs about Temporally Scripted:

How many episodes does Temporally Scripted have?

The podcast currently has 72 episodes available.