Temporally Scripted

Temporally Scripted

By Temporally ScriptedSociety & Culture
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Temporally Scripted episodes

  • THE UK JUST BANNED SOCIAL MEDIA FOR UNDER-16S

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    The UK has banned social media for under-16s, single-handedly saving childhood. The state would never lie to you. Come inside, it's fine.

    Two British blokes in Vietnam on the under-16 social media ban, screen addiction, and the government that loves your kids more than you do.

    We get into why the algorithm is a casino in your pocket, why the man whose top comment on the "I'M A SNAKE" video thinks it's his ticket to a better life, and why a benevolent state banning kids from social media while quietly rolling out digital ID for adults is definitely, definitely a coincidence. Prove your age, citizen. It's for your safety.

    00:00 No iPhone until she's 16
    01:30 Social media is not social
    03:26 My top comment is my ticket to fame
    06:18 How fast your life is going
    09:50 The digital ID question
    12:56 Come inside, it's fine

    #SocialMediaBan #DigitalID #UKnews

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    14 min
  • THE WHITE HOUSE HAD CAGE FIGHTING ON THE LAWN

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    UFC Freedom 250 just put cage fighting on the White House lawn. We called it.
    Two British blokes react to the most absurd sporting event in political history.

    We recorded this before UFC Freedom 250 actually happened, and somehow reality was even wilder than we predicted. Trump's 80th birthday, America's 250th, and a cage fight on the South Lawn. Here is everything we got right, everything we got wrong, and why this timeline is broken.

    00:00 The White House becomes a fight venue
    00:45 Gladiators, thumbs down, and Diet Coke
    02:00 Trump redecorating the presidency
    04:00 The best British history joke you will hear today
    06:00 How UFC went from fringe to the White House
    08:15 Trump vs Biden: the bout nobody asked for

    #UFC #WhiteHouse #Trump80

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    10 min
  • SPACEX IPO: PRICED AT 100X ITS REVENUE

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    The SpaceX IPO is the biggest in history, and the price tag makes no sense.
    Here is the trillionaire maths before SPCX trades.

    SpaceX is listing at around 1.77 trillion dollars, the largest IPO ever and seventh by market cap on day one. The problem: that is roughly 100 times its revenue, only Starlink actually turns a profit, and Elon Musk keeps about 85 percent voting control through a separate share class. 

    We get into whether this is a genuine moonshot or just another AI-era share grab, and why your index fund might be buying it for you whether you like it or not.

    00:00 The first trillionaire
    00:50 A 1.77 trillion price tag
    02:30 Only Starlink makes money
    04:00 How Musk keeps control
    05:30 The AI bubble and the dip

    #SpaceXIPO #SPCX #ElonMusk

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    9 min
  • A MILLION YOUNG BRITS JUST DROPPED OUT

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    A million young Brits aren't working or studying. We were both NEETs, so we'd know. Two expats unpack why an entire generation checked out, and where all the first jobs went.

    The UK just passed one million 16 to 24-year-olds not in education, employment or training, the highest since 2013. Jack and Adam (both former NEETs) get into what's actually behind it: the death of the Saturday job, 1.6 million low and mid-skilled jobs that have vanished, hospitality vacancies halved, and a high street that's now mostly barbers and vape shops. Is it a lazy generation, or did the entry-level rungs just disappear?

    00:00 What even is a NEET? 01:00 The time Adam got sent on a course 03:20 Why a million young people stopped looking for work 04:45 The death of the Saturday job 09:45 The 1.6 million jobs that vanished 11:00 Why every high street is barbers and vape shops

    #NEET #UKJobs #TemporallyScripted

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    15 min
  • TONY BLAIR NEVER ACTUALLY LEFT

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    Tony Blair quit politics twenty years ago. So why does it look like he's still running the country?

    Two Brits abroad dig into the Blair Institute, the billionaire money, and the net zero row with Starmer.

    Jack and Adam break down Tony Blair's return to the headlines: his public swipe at Starmer and Burnham over net zero and closer ties to Trump, the Tony Blair Institute's $161 million in revenue and the reported Larry Ellison backing, and the awkward fact that former Blair aides now sit at the top of Starmer's government. 

    Is it a genuine policy split, or a convenient distraction? 

    Plus why Britain sits on North Sea oil and imports energy anyway, and whether cheap abundant power is the thing nobody in charge actually wants.

    00:00 Tony Blair is back 

    00:01 The Institute and who funds it 

    00:02 Is the whole row a distraction? 

    00:05 The net zero argument 

    00:06 Britain's oil, Norway's wealth fund 

    00:09 Cheap energy and who benefits

    #TonyBlair #NetZero #TemporallyScripted

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    12 min
  • WHY THE UK FALLS APART EVERY TIME IT HITS 30°C

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    The UK just hit 35°C and immediately fell apart. Again. Two Brits in 42°C Vietnam watch the chaos and ask why their home country can't cope with a warm day.

    The UK has broken its hottest-ever May record, and Jack and Adam break down the annual ritual: tropical nights, hosepipe bans, cancelled trains, and the genuinely serious cold-water-shock warnings as people get into difficulty in lakes and rivers still at winter temperatures. 

    Plus why one third of the country can't swim a length, why Spain copes with 42°C and Britain doesn't, and whether a warmer UK would actually be such a bad thing.

    00:00 Why UK heat "hits different" 

    00:04 Cold water shock and why people are dying in rivers 

    00:05 One third of Brits can't swim a length 

    00:08 Why Spain copes and Britain doesn't 

    00:12 Would a warmer UK actually be worse?

    #UKHeatwave #UKWeather #TemporallyScripted

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    14 min
  • TRUMP IS DAY-TRADING AND IT'S COMPLETELY LEGAL

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    Trump made 3,700 stock trades in 90 days while president. Nobody's talking about it. Plus Musk loses the OpenAI case, AI's $115 billion hole, and Southampton's spygate meltdown.

    Jack and Adam dig into Trump's Q1 2026 trading disclosure: 3,700+ transactions worth up to $750 million, timed suspiciously close to his own policy announcements on Boeing, Oracle, and more. 

    They break down the Musk vs Altman OpenAI verdict (lost on statute of limitations, appeal incoming), ask whether AI's blitzscaling economics can survive $14 billion annual losses, and celebrate Southampton FC's spygate expulsion from the Championship playoffs. Plus Adam's top five "healthy" foods that aren't actually healthy.

    00:00 Intro 

    00:02 Trump's 3,700 stock trades in Q1 

    00:10 Insider knowledge, Polymarket, and prediction markets

    00:21 Musk vs Altman: OpenAI verdict 

    00:29 Was OpenAI ever really mission-driven? 

    00:39 AI blitzscaling and the $115 billion question 

    00:48 Southampton spygate: the beautiful meltdown 

    00:55 Top 5: healthy foods that aren't healthy 

    01:10 Outro

    #TrumpTrading #OpenAI #TemporallyScripted

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    1 hr 12 min
  • FARAGE'S SECRET £5M GIFT EXPOSED AFTER REFORM'S LANDSLIDE

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    Reform's landslide just broke UK politics, and Farage's £5m gift could end it all. Two British expats break down a week of political chaos, fake food, and UFO committees.

    Jack and Adam unpack the 2026 UK local election earthquake: Reform's 1,400+ seat surge, Labour's collapse, Starmer clinging on, and whether Farage could actually become prime minister, just as a parliamentary probe into his undisclosed £5 million crypto gift threatens to derail everything. 

    Plus a Reform councillor wants to monitor UFOs at Doncaster Sheffield Airport, the science behind why you hate your own voice, and Adam's top five foods that aren't what you think (Pringles are only 42% potato).

    00:00 Intro 

    00:02 UK local elections and the two-party system 

    00:10 Starmer's leadership crisis 

    00:17 Farage: man of the people or £5m gift recipient? 

    00:38 UFO monitoring at Doncaster Sheffield Airport 

    00:43 Why you hate the sound of your own voice 

    00:53 Top 5: foods that aren't what you think 

    01:08 Outro

    Remember to upload your corrected transcript from Riverside rather than relying on YouTube auto-captions. It meaningfully improves indexing.

    #UKPolitics #Reform #TemporallyScripted

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    1 hr 3 min
  • THE UFO FILES DROPPED AND THEY FOUND NOTHING

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    162 classified UFO files just dropped — no aliens, no proof, no smoking gun. This week on Temporarily Scripted, a British comedy news podcast, Jack and Adam predicted it days before the Pentagon release and got into ancient Egypt, lost civilizations, consciousness, and the Hermetic principles.

    Plus: hantavirus killed three on a cruise ship and the media is running the pandemic playbook again.

    📖 The Kybalion (mentioned in this episode): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Kybalion

    CHAPTERS
    00:00 Cold open
    01:30 Trump's UFO files — what's actually in there?
    06:00 Ancient Egypt and what we still can't explain
    16:00 Why would governments hide this?
    18:00 Visualization, worry, and consciousness
    27:00 Will the files reveal anything?
    31:00 Hantavirus cruise ship
    36:00 TOP 7: Hermetic Principles
    50:00 Wrap up

    #UFOFiles #AncientEgypt #BritishPodcast

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    52 min
  • BEAR COSTUME INSURANCE FRAUD GONE WRONG

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    A World War II veteran says he regrets fighting for Britain. 
    Half of young Brits say they wouldn't do it either. Jack and 
    Adam sit with that one longer than usual — and it turns into 
    the most honest five minutes the show's had.

    Before that: Peter Mandelson's vetting got fast-tracked and 
    nobody in government wants to explain why, the UK is burning 
    through prime ministers faster than a Championship side burns 
    through managers, and Europe has roughly six weeks of jet fuel 
    left before flights start getting grounded for real.

    Then it's robots. Beijing ran a half marathon with 300 
    humanoid robots in a separate lane, and one of them just beat 
    every human time on record. 

    Three men in America got sentenced 
    for dressing up in a bear suit and scratching their own Rolls 
    Royce with Wolverine claws to claim insurance. A wildlife 
    biologist was called in to confirm it wasn't a real bear.

    The Top 5 is accidental discoveries that changed the world — 
    penicillin found in mouldy petri dishes, X-rays discovered by 
    a man who died of cancer, cosmic background radiation mistaken 
    for pigeon shit, and the reason nobody returned their Viagra 
    trial tablets.

    CHAPTERS
    00:00 Cold open
    01:30 Mandelson fast-tracked — will Starmer survive?
    05:00 UK burns through PMs like football managers
    10:00 Europe's jet fuel is running out
    16:00 AI hype, subsidised models & the coming crash
    22:00 Half of young Brits would refuse to fight
    28:00 Beijing's robot half marathon
    33:00 Bear costume insurance fraud gone wrong
    36:00 TOP 5: Accidental discoveries that changed the world
    50:00 Wrap up

    🎙 New episodes every week

    👍 Like, subscribe and share if you enjoyed

    💬 Drop your hot takes in the comments

    #TemporarilyScripted #Podcast #Mandelson #KeirStarmer 
    #JetFuel #AIBubble #RobotMarathon #InsuranceFraud 
    #BearCostume #Penicillin #Viagra #BritishPodcast 
    #ComedyPodcast #NewsPodcast

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    1 hr 3 min

About Temporally Scripted

From the publisher's feed

Ever notice how the people who claim to have all the answers usually have the most boring lives? 

We spent our twenties in underground clubs and festival fields, then built businesses…