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"I'm a dreamer, don't tell me not to dream..."
Martin Garrix went from his bedroom to playing in front of 100,000 people in less than two years. At just 22, he is already the world's #1 DJ for 3 years running, but his unprecedented rise to success has not pleased everyone. So what is the secret to his success and what can we learn from it? Perhaps the future really does belong to the DJ's...
SHOW NOTES
My 'beautiful mind' style notes from my Rome keynote (a trial run testing the content for my new book) RemiXed: The Future Belongs to the DJ's
"Laws of work: Show up. Shut up. Do your job".
David Mamet is a Pulitzer Prize–winning playwright, screenwriter and director known for such works as 'American Buffalo,' 'Glengarry Glen Ross,' 'The Untouchables' and 'Phil Spector.' His trademark rapid-fire dialogue are studded with obscenities and explore the power relationships and corporate corruption.
There is only really one rule of drama - "Don't be boring".
He is one of the most prolific storytellers of modern times. In this special episode on Ten Words I look behind the scenes of his most famous script, what motivates him to write, why are writers like beavers and why is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu the secret to his success?
David Mamet's Masterclass on dramatic writing
"It's only with the heart that one can see rightly".
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry accidentally wrote one of the best selling books of all time. Since publishing "Le Petit Prince" in 1943 it has achieved almost mythical status having been translated into over 200 languages and has been voted the greatest book of the 20th century. It continues to sell almost 2 million copies everyday, but at the time Saint-Exupéry wasn't even sure anyone would like it. Leaving the finished manuscript with a friend before he went off to war he said, "I'd like to give you something splendid, but this is all I have".
In this episode of Ten Words, I look behind the scenes and what inspired this gorgeously eccentric and reluctant author-adventurer-artist-aviator to write. And what lessons we can learn from his relentless pursuit of creativity?
It's one of my favourite books of all-time, so much so that I even wear a bracelet everyday embossed with the Little Prince's star! I hope you enjoy hearing a little bit about Saint-Exupéry's story as much as I enjoyed putting this episode together.
Thanks for listening!
Jeremy :)
LINKS
"What's your motivation? What's great? What's missing? What's preventing this?"
He's one of the top business coaches in the world worth over $6Bn who left an abusive home, to work as a janitor on $40 a week. What was the one thing which changed his life, and what can we learn from the way that he communicates to over 200,000 people every year?
In this episode I try to steer clear on the self-help bumper sticker quotes, and look more deeply at what drives the most successful people (including how they break up each day into 100 x 10 minute chunks). Digging back into the 20 years that I have followed Tony, and sharing some of my experiences from working alongside him in 2015, whatever your opinions are of Tony Robbins, I think there's something in here for you. Because one thing's for sure - he's NOT (just) a motivational speaker...
Show Notes
"You can change the world just by sharing your story".
What started out as a bit of fun earlier this year has taken on a life of its own. Around 20,000 people now listen to the Ten Words podcast each week, to look behind the scenes and who said what and why.
So in this episode, I review the story so far and pick my highlights from the first 20 episodes, featuring poets, pastors, strippers, celebrities, politicians, scientists and storytellers. I hope you enjoy it.
Thank you SO much for joining me on the journey so far. I can't wait to see where we go next!
"God, let it be with me just as you say".
He's a poet, pastor, preacher, philosopher and storyteller. He's the author of 40 books but is best known for The Message. A translation of the bible which took him over 20 years to write and has sold over 17M copies, making him one of the most important (yet largely unknown) authors of our generation.
In this feature length episode (part podcast / part audio book!) I celebrate Eugene's 85 years on this planet and explore the simplicity of his words, and how he re-wrote such an epic book by re-mixing it into a language that everyone can understand. Including me.
I'll never forget being at a U2 gig in 2001 just before 9/11 when Bono recited Psalm 116 from the Message at a key part of the Elevation Tour show. The entire atmosphere in the arena seemed to change instantly. This shared experience seemed to connect everyone but at the time, I, like almost everyone else, had no idea what was going on. Or what he actually said. So I set off on a mission to find out. Seventeen years later, the journey of that mission has finally come to life with this episode of the Ten Words podcast. I hope you enjoy it.
Jeremy :)
SHOW NOTES
VIDEOS
PHOTO GALLERY
My "Kingfisher Chair". 37 times.....
"I don't practice. Practice is for beginners. I rehearse".
Yuja Wang is regarded among classical music aficionados as being one of the most important artists of our generation. So wide is her appeal and influence on artists of all genres that Red Bull even sponsored her for a documentary about the art of performance. A child prodigy from the age of 6, Beijing born Yuja has risen to the top of the classical music industry to become one of the world's most famous concert pianists.
But despite her prolific talent, many people don't see past the short dresses that she chooses to wear to perform. So what is it that makes her tick? Did she deliberately construct a "brand" in order to stand out, and what advice could she give to us as performers? Let's find out...
SHOW LINKS
READ
"Life is a grand adventure, so keep writing and reading".
His films have grossed over $9Bn, he has won two Academy Awards and is regularly referred to as "the nicest man in Hollywood". In this exciting episode of the Ten Words podcast I look beyond Tom's filmography and focus on how he approaches the creative process of reading, writing and film making.
What I discovered were some amazing pieces of advice that I think we can all apply into our personal and professional lives, regardless of how creative we feel we are. This was a LOT of fun to record. I hope you enjoy it.
SHOW NOTES
"Connection is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives".
Brené Brown is a Texan researcher storyteller, and she is one of the most reluctant public speakers you will come across. Ironic considering that she's now a global phenomenon around the topic of vulnerability, the author of several New York Times best selling books and the star of one of the most watched TED talks of all time.
In this episode I look behind the scenes at what made her talk such a huge success, and I get completely caught up with the work which she feels compelled to share with the world. It's a heavy topic and a tricky one to navigate in such a short talk, but Brené manages to make the audience laugh 22 times in just 19 minutes! When they say that the best way to make an audience remember is to make them laugh, it is no wonder this became one of the most watched TED talks of all time.
Whether you are interested in "The Power of Vulnerability", want to become a better public speaker yourself, or maybe (like me) you just adore Brené Brown, there is something in this episode for everyone.
Enjoy.
SHOW LINKS
MY NOTES
IBM WATSON ANALYSIS OF BRENE'S TED TALK
FOR MORE INSPIRATION
BRENÉ'S TED TALK (FULL TRANSCRIPT)
So, I'll start with this: a couple years ago, an event planner called me because I was going to do a speaking event. And she called, and she said, "I'm really struggling with how to write about you on the little flyer." And I thought, "Well, what's the struggle?" And she said, "Well, I saw you speak, and I'm going to call you a researcher, I think, but I'm afraid if I call you a researcher, no one will come, because they'll think you're boring and irrelevant."
And I was like, "Okay." And she said, "But the thing I liked about your talk is you're a storyteller. So I think what I'll do is just call you a storyteller." And of course, the academic, insecure part of me was like, "You're going to call me a what?" And she said, "I'm going to call you a storyteller." And I was like, "Why not 'magic pixie'?"
I was like, "Let me think about this for a second." I tried to call deep on my courage. And I thought, you know, I am a storyteller. I'm a qualitative researcher. I collect stories; that's what I do. And maybe stories are just data with a soul. And maybe I'm just a storyteller. And so I said, "You know what? Why don't you just say I'm a researcher-storyteller." And she went, "Ha ha. There's no such thing."
So I'm a researcher-storyteller, and I'm going to talk to you today -- we're talking about expanding perception -- and so I want to talk to you and tell some stories about a piece of my research that fundamentally expanded my perception and really actually changed the way that I live and love and work and parent.
And this is where my story starts. When I was a young researcher, doctoral student, my first year, I had a research professor who said to us, "Here's the thing, if you cannot measure it, it does not exist." And I thought he was just sweet-talking me. I was like, "Really?" and he was like, "Absolutely." And so you have to understand that I have a bachelor's and a master's in social work, and I was getting my Ph.D. in social work, so my entire academic career was surrounded by people who kind of believed in the "life's messy, love it." And I'm more of the, "life's messy, clean it up, organize it and put it into a bento box."
And so to think that I had found my way, to found a career that takes me -- really, one of the big sayings in social work is, "Lean into the discomfort of the work." And I'm like, knock discomfort upside the head and move it over and get all A's. That was my mantra. So I was very excited about this. And so I thought, you know what, this is the career for me, because I am interested in some messy topics. But I want to be able to make them not messy. I want to understand them. I want to hack into these things that I know are important and lay the code out for everyone to see.
So where I started was with connection. Because, by the time you're a social worker for 10 years, what you realize is that connection is why we're here. It's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. This is what it's all about. It doesn't matter whether you talk to people who work in social justice, mental health and abuse and neglect, what we know is that connection, the ability to feel connected, is -- neurobiologically that's how we're wired -- it's why we're here.
So I thought, you know what, I'm going to start with connection. Well, you know that situation where you get an evaluation from your boss, and she tells you 37 things that you do really awesome, and one "opportunity for growth?"
And all you can think about is that opportunity for growth, right? Well, apparently this is the way my work went as well, because, when you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak. When you ask people about belonging, they'll tell you their most excruciating experiences of being excluded. And when you ask people about connection, the stories they told me were about disconnection.
So very quickly -- really about six weeks into this research -- I ran into this unnamed thing that absolutely unraveled connection in a way that I didn't understand or had never seen. And so I pulled back out of the research and thought, I need to figure out what this is. And it turned out to be shame. And shame is really easily understood as the fear of disconnection: Is there something about me that, if other people know it or see it, that I won't be worthy of connection?
The things I can tell you about it: It's universal; we all have it. The only people who don't experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection. No one wants to talk about it, and the less you talk about it, the more you have it. What underpinned this shame, this "I'm not good enough," -- which, we all know that feeling: "I'm not blank enough. I'm not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough." The thing that underpinned this was excruciating vulnerability. This idea of, in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.
And you know how I feel about vulnerability. I hate vulnerability. And so I thought, this is my chance to beat it back with my measuring stick. I'm going in, I'm going to figure this stuff out, I'm going to spend a year, I'm going to totally deconstruct shame, I'm going to understand how vulnerability works, and I'm going to outsmart it. So I was ready, and I was really excited. As you know, it's not going to turn out well.
You know this. So, I could tell you a lot about shame, but I'd have to borrow everyone else's time. But here's what I can tell you that it boils down to -- and this may be one of the most important things that I've ever learned in the decade of doing this research.
My one year turned into six years: Thousands of stories, hundreds of long interviews, focus groups. At one point, people were sending me journal pages and sending me their stories -- thousands of pieces of data in six years. And I kind of got a handle on it. I kind of understood, this is what shame is, this is how it works. I wrote a book, I published a theory, but something was not okay -- and what it was is that, if I roughly took the people I interviewed and divided them into people who really have a sense of worthiness -- that's what this comes down to, a sense of worthiness -- they have a strong sense of love and belonging -- and folks who struggle for it, and folks who are always wondering if they're good enough.
There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it. And that was, the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they're worthy of love and belonging. That's it. They believe they're worthy. And to me, the hard part of the one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we're not worthy of connection, was something that, personally and professionally, I felt like I needed to understand better. So what I did is I took all of the interviews where I saw worthiness, where I saw people living that way, and just looked at those.
What do these people have in common? I have a slight office supply addiction, but that's another talk. So I had a manila folder, and I had a Sharpie, and I was like, what am I going to call this research? And the first words that came to my mind were "whole-hearted." These are whole-hearted people, living from this deep sense of worthiness. So I wrote at the top of the manila folder, and I started looking at the data. In fact, I did it first in a four-day, very intensive data analysis, where I went back, pulled the interviews, the stories, pulled the incidents. What's the theme? What's the pattern? My husband left town with the kids because I always go into this Jackson Pollock crazy thing, where I'm just writing and in my researcher mode.
And so here's what I found. What they had in common was a sense of courage. And I want to separate courage and bravery for you for a minute. Courage, the original definition of courage, when it first came into the English language -- it's from the Latin word "cor," meaning "heart" -- and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can't practice compassion with other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly. And the last was they had connection, and -- this was the hard part -- as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do that for connection.
The other thing that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn't talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating -- as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing. They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willingness to say, "I love you" first ... the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees ... the willingness to breathe through waiting for the doctor to call after your mammogram. They're willing to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out. They thought this was fundamental.
I personally thought it was betrayal. I could not believe I had pledged allegiance to research, where our job -- you know, the definition of research is to control and predict, to study phenomena for the explicit reason to control and predict. And now my mission to control and predict had turned up the answer that the way to live is with vulnerability and to stop controlling and predicting. This led to a little breakdown --
-- which actually looked more like this.
And it did.
I call it a breakdown; my therapist calls it a spiritual awakening.
A spiritual awakening sounds better than breakdown, but I assure you, it was a breakdown. And I had to put my data away and go find a therapist. Let me tell you something: you know who you are when you call your friends and say, "I think I need to see somebody. Do you have any recommendations?" Because about five of my friends were like, "Wooo, I wouldn't want to be your therapist."
I was like, "What does that mean?" And they're like, "I'm just saying, you know. Don't bring your measuring stick."
I was like, "Okay." So I found a therapist. My first meeting with her, Diana -- I brought in my list of the way the whole-hearted live, and I sat down. And she said, "How are you?" And I said, "I'm great. I'm okay." She said, "What's going on?" And this is a therapist who sees therapists, because we have to go to those, because their B.S. meters are good.
And so I said, "Here's the thing, I'm struggling." And she said, "What's the struggle?" And I said, "Well, I have a vulnerability issue. And I know that vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it's also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love. And I think I have a problem, and I need some help." And I said, "But here's the thing: no family stuff, no childhood shit."
"I just need some strategies."
Thank you. So she goes like this.
And then I said, "It's bad, right?" And she said, "It's neither good nor bad."
"It just is what it is." And I said, "Oh my God, this is going to suck."
And it did, and it didn't. And it took about a year. And you know how there are people that, when they realize that vulnerability and tenderness are important, that they surrender and walk into it. A: that's not me, and B: I don't even hang out with people like that.
For me, it was a yearlong street fight. It was a slugfest. Vulnerability pushed, I pushed back. I lost the fight, but probably won my life back.
And so then I went back into the research and spent the next couple of years really trying to understand what they, the whole-hearted, what choices they were making, and what we are doing with vulnerability. Why do we struggle with it so much? Am I alone in struggling with vulnerability? No.
So this is what I learned. We numb vulnerability -- when we're waiting for the call. It was funny, I sent something out on Twitter and on Facebook that says, "How would you define vulnerability? What makes you feel vulnerable?" And within an hour and a half, I had 150 responses. Because I wanted to know what's out there. Having to ask my husband for help because I'm sick, and we're newly married; initiating sex with my husband; initiating sex with my wife; being turned down; asking someone out; waiting for the doctor to call back; getting laid off; laying off people. This is the world we live in. We live in a vulnerable world. And one of the ways we deal with it is we numb vulnerability.
And I think there's evidence -- and it's not the only reason this evidence exists, but I think it's a huge cause -- We are the most in-debt ... obese ... addicted and medicated adult cohort in U.S. history. The problem is -- and I learned this from the research -- that you cannot selectively numb emotion. You can't say, here's the bad stuff. Here's vulnerability, here's grief, here's shame, here's fear, here's disappointment. I don't want to feel these. I'm going to have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin.
I don't want to feel these. And I know that's knowing laughter. I hack into your lives for a living. God.
You can't numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects, our emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness. And then, we are miserable, and we are looking for purpose and meaning, and then we feel vulnerable, so then we have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. And it becomes this dangerous cycle.
One of the things that I think we need to think about is why and how we numb. And it doesn't just have to be addiction. The other thing we do is we make everything that's uncertain certain. Religion has gone from a belief in faith and mystery to certainty. "I'm right, you're wrong. Shut up." That's it. Just certain. The more afraid we are, the more vulnerable we are, the more afraid we are. This is what politics looks like today. There's no discourse anymore. There's no conversation. There's just blame. You know how blame is described in the research? A way to discharge pain and discomfort. We perfect. If there's anyone who wants their life to look like this, it would be me, but it doesn't work. Because what we do is we take fat from our butts and put it in our cheeks.
Which just, I hope in 100 years, people will look back and go, "Wow."
And we perfect, most dangerously, our children. Let me tell you what we think about children. They're hardwired for struggle when they get here. And when you hold those perfect little babies in your hand, our job is not to say, "Look at her, she's perfect. My job is just to keep her perfect -- make sure she makes the tennis team by fifth grade and Yale by seventh." That's not our job. Our job is to look and say, "You know what? You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging." That's our job. Show me a generation of kids raised like that, and we'll end the problems, I think, that we see today. We pretend that what we do doesn't have an effect on people. We do that in our personal lives. We do that corporate -- whether it's a bailout, an oil spill ... a recall. We pretend like what we're doing doesn't have a huge impact on other people. I would say to companies, this is not our first rodeo, people. We just need you to be authentic and real and say ... "We're sorry. We'll fix it."
But there's another way, and I'll leave you with this. This is what I have found: To let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen ... to love with our whole hearts, even though there's no guarantee -- and that's really hard, and I can tell you as a parent, that's excruciatingly difficult -- to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we're wondering, "Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?" just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, "I'm just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive." And the last, which I think is probably the most important, is to believe that we're enough. Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, "I'm enough" ... then we stop screaming and start listening, we're kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we're kinder and gentler to ourselves.
That's all I have. Thank you.
"There's no such thing as bad weather just bad clothing".
This is not just the story of how I fell in love with a 'brand' in 3 minutes, but a tale of passion, purpose, love, loss, tragedy and adventure. In this special episode I dig deep into the archives to discover the real story behind Thomas Burberry in an effort to try and understand what made him tick.
What I discovered was not what I expected. A far cry from the $5Bn luxury fashion house you see today, Burberry not only had very humble beginnings, but it was built upon an invention that was discovered by accident in a farmers field. That innovation made it possible for explorers, pioneers and adventurers to go further and higher than anyone else had ever gone.
If you are interested in fashion, the process of innovation, branding, entrepreneurship or just good old fashioned storytelling, this episode might be just what you've been looking for.
LINKS
TIMELINE
From the publisher's feed