Self-care is not weakness. It is being human says our guest Nancy White, an entrepreneur of 35 years. It is being accountable to ourselves first and foremost. Not yo-yo diets, but more of the sustainable, healthy lifestyle with choices will keep you well as you age, mature and weather each season. Everybody needs to be lifted and acknowledged for the good things they're doing. The power of negativity should not ever go unnoticed or taken for granted. This matters because it takes seven positives for every one negative that we either speak to ourselves or somebody speaks to us. We are impacted by what see on the news, or we hear.

Esua Goldsmith has always been a writer. Her memoir "The Space between Black and White" Illustrates the painful, lonely existence of a mixed race child growing up in Britain as an “only “. That child was Esua.

Life can seem like a whole series of random events that don't make any sense, but it's only when you write them down that you can see that they form a pattern. It was almost to tell her story to herself that Esua wrote her memoirs. As a child she was lonely and felt a need to to explain her “onlyness” In a book full of voices she sowed in the threads at different stages of her life.

As an advocate, Esua campaigned for a special category in the census of 2001 for a mixed race category. 20 years of data shows how mixed race is different from other racial experiences. For example , in the UK, there are more mixed race kids in care of social services which may be an indication that people do not know where to place children with mixed heritage.

At the same time, bi-racial people are reconnecting with their roots, discovering their communities and finding out who they are and what it means to experience a sense of belonging. Esua explains that this journey of discovery “ means absolutely everything to me. I looked in the little picture books that you get when you're a kid and all the early readers and so on, there was just nobody who looked like me. I felt very much like an only. So not only are you dealing with racism, but you're dealing with onliness which is different from loneliness. It's a sort of feeling that you have no kin and no place in the world. And that's a very hard thing for a very small child to learn”.

Design thinking helps you to understand people’s needs to look holistically at interactions and constantly iterate the way forward. Focusing your efforts on the most impactful design moments  creates new and sticky experiences.   Imagine meeting and exceeding your customers' needs and expectations.  Imagine what  you can achieve by understanding  the interactions people have,  surfacing problem areas,  exploring opportunities through designing a more  accurate, updated and relevant customer journey map.        

You can make happy people even happier.  Their joy can lead them to become  advocates.   Design thinking can  remove  frustrating barriers.  By visualising and isolating negative moments,  brainstorming  and ideating ways to improve the experience, there can be increased positivity experience.

According to Sade Marriott host  of the Banana Island Podcast, standing out is about standing in! Sade's personal take on life and wellbeing is thus

" I'm happy about being comfortable in my own skin now and being a bit more self-aware and a bit more conscious of other people's emotions and less careless of other people's emotions. Yeah not tangible material stuff, I mean those are transient. But I want to be able to look in the mirror and not be embarrassed at what I've become. I don't want to be that person who's self-congratulatory and look at me and yeah, I think that's about it.

I'm actually more sympathetic because you can only really appreciate it. I understand compassion. I've volunteered in a prison where we take food, I can make people happy. "

Capsule environments are environments that are isolated and confined – a challenge to leadership. The external conditions of capsule environments are harsh and dangerous.

Our guest Binna Kandola talks about this. The typical features of a capsule environment are social isolation with the same group of people with sensory restrictions. Star Trek, Voyager, Dr Who, the Big Brother House and Space Travel demonstrate the features of capsule environments. This becomes relevant to leadership who need to consider the impact this way of working has had on us.

Due to lack of sensory stimulation people can start to narrow down the people they're communicating with; restricting the amount of information that they are sharing and begin to develop stronger relationships with a smaller group of people. With remote working and people returning back to offices, leaders need to start looking at inclusion and making sure that diversity and inclusion is at the top of our priorities.

Leaders need to start consciously looking at the way groups of teams can be working together, encouraging their teams, their individual team members to network with other teams in the organisation. Connection is key.

“My mum was all about love and loving” says Nadine Robson. We learn from an early age that what helps is being open and comfortable with energising conversations.

Energising is about not getting stuck in that place of feeling in despair or feeling overwhelmed, having a glimmer of hope. Nadine learnt the importance of mental health and getting alongside people, understanding those experiences and deepening the empathy for ourselves and others.

Supporting people with their mental health encourages people to know that whatever it is they are going through. They build the confidence that they can get through whatever challenges they face. Suffering and hard times are not pleasant when they happen, but there can be relief in knowing that these things too will pass, and they get the support they need to go through those challenging times.

MOE Foundation was founded by Darren and Nadine founded as a legacy to their mum who just loved everybody. Moe stands for Me, Others, Everyone. “It’s all about people feeling as if they've got a community, a place where they belong. And more than that, a place where they're loved. So really providing a platform for the community and what do you need?

In this episode of “TesseTalks Meets TesseLeads”, Tesse and Paula want to say “A big thanks to our social media community that gathered family gathered around TesseTalks and Tesse Leads showing their support . I was touched by the thousands... and there were thousands of people who showed their care and empathy through their messages, their prayers. Tony’s death is a very sad moment for the Akpeki family and friends. The love shown proves that diversity and inclusion are alive. People care for the suffering of others giving generously of their time and saying a compassionate farewell to beloved brother Tony.” says host Tesse Akpeki.

"TesseTalks" was launched when pioneer Maggie Johnson died from cancer. Maggie was interested in sharing messages of leadership and support. The LinkedIn community has been incredibly supportive in getting behind "TesseTalks.

"TesseLeads" was born with Grief Recovery specialist Lisa Richards bringing the reality of pain and loss as platforms for growth , recovery and places of healing.

A big thanks to our guests and audience in creating something special in a nurturing place.

Awesome You, Stepping out of the shadows is Sarah Giles’ nudge for us to stop standing on the sidelines and step out of the shadows, confidently, owning who we truly are and taking our place in the world. This starts with understanding ourselves a bit better enabling us to better support others. Pace matters. We may need to stop, take the moment to pause and be still.

How about the fear we face? Fear starts to disappear when we are so focused on our purpose, and our journey. We naturally start to feel more comfortable and confident to take our first steps towards something different.

Baby steps stop us feeling overwhelmed as we set realistic goals and take action. The challenge is that as we become more self aware, things change. “Embracing being me is key to growth and autonomy. We are work in progress - always learning and growing.” Sarah quotes Robert Toth "genius is there in all of us, just waiting for us to tap into it."

Future Focus is all about remembering that life is not always negative even though it may seem like that. It is worth remembering that when we are in a hard place.

The dark tunnel is like being in a valley, it's tough, it's dark, it's painful. But it will not always be like that. It is not a permanent state.

The value of aging is a topic Bonnie Marcus touches on frequently. Paula. and I talk with her about “Not done yet - the value of aging".

Bonnie reminds us that we need to be mindful of our own bias and our beliefs that may sabotage the life that we want to have. “Age-ism happens, it’s not just about getting older. A lot of young people face age-ism”.

Entrepreneurs need to understand how they may be holding themselves back thinking they don’t bring as much value as somebody younger and that needs to stop. “ We need to truly own the value we bring and not apologise for it.

How are you putting yourself out there?” Bonnie poses a few questions. “Are am I advocating for yourself? How do I sabotage myself?