That Checks Out

The guys discuss how the best way to determine a man’s wealth is by the direction of his zeros, when 5 stars and a shart guarantee crispy southwest egg rolls, and why you can never pack too much animal genitalia for transcontinental flights. 

The guys discuss why sharing a scoop of cottage cheese and half a tomato guarantees you’ll be at every PTA meeting, when kicking over a stroller will save you from being scammed, and how broken buttons are the leading cause of infidelity in Texas. 

The guys discuss how Jamaican enchiladas guarantee a successful marriage, when scoring 200 points during a robbery will only make the dog laugh at you, and why even the thrill of peppermint cannot save Damon and his self-proclaimed adequacy. 

The guys discuss how sultry train videos can be an acceptable substitute to funky minge, when arson can be considered foreplay, and why launching dipping sauces into space is about to become an acceptable normality. 

The guys discuss why it is so crucial to clock out prior to any workplace scuffle, when a chance meeting in Costa Rica instantly becomes deadly, and how Damon’s probably not a whale but definitely a mutant. 

The guys discuss how a very lucrative Ponzi scheme can easily be formed by just clearing out your unwanted organs, when homemade currency and/or ID card should immediately raise suspicion, and why you should never buy your weed from Tyler. 

The guys discuss why an overly generous employer makes going home nearly impossible, when hearing "just don't get it in his eyes" initiates a prayer for pepper spray, and how pork-filled sky scrapers will inadvertently regulate the price of a cup of coffee.

The guys discuss how being inquisitive about the location of a butthole can coax any teenager out of their room, when LOCATION is the single most important factor for proper interpretation of a cleverly titled 50K race, and why teaching a beaver to pull a rip cord is imperative when re-wilding Idaho’s wilderness.

The guys discuss how one man’s hatred of chivalry led to a revolving entrance, when it is no longer necessary to return a borrowed snorkel, and why the time of day should absolutely dictate the value of material items. 

The guys discuss how Debra’s herpes comparatively have little effect on you getting your McNuggets, when stovetop flatulence needs to be addressed in your dating video, and why you should never exit your vehicle on the overpass to intervene in an abduction.