That Checks Out

The guys discuss why having multiple snacks straddle your lap is no longer an issue, how Damon will definitely injure his hands attending German operas, and what are the only two acceptable instances to acknowledge a “final notice” warning. 

The guys discuss what might possibly be the most disturbing way to “capture” a new roommate, when a perfectly arranged bedroom can guarantee foreign relations every night, and how the ending to every high speed chase in Germany may or may not result in a pant-less driver. 

The guys discuss why wearing two flashlights when jogging makes you more likely to be hit by a car, when an extra “I” can save you $13,000,000, and how a bronze penguin pecker doesn’t necessarily fit the decor of every room. 

The guys discuss why Italian vampires constantly over season their marinara, when five cents worth of banana will literally double your dessert profits, and how Persian Pizza is the only acceptable pre-war meal for the warrior not counting calories. 

The guys discuss why you should NEVER share a communion wafer with Damon, when achieving proper feng shui requires placing the TC directly in the crevice, and how easily badgers can fill up when devouring an impressive hog. 

The guys discuss how a renaissance man could knock a soldier off a horse at 100 yards without using an arrow, why a ménage a trios with a Sasquatch will cost you your alimony, and when a 6 year old “farmer” cancelled Valentine’s Day for the entire school. 

The guys discuss why you have to set your manager down to make eggs above Niagara Falls, when a sarcastically smiling moon only adds humor to an otherwise indescribable morning, and how there’s no copay for at home dentistry. 

The guys discuss how Polish anti-tank mines no longer come with directions, why even with Damon’s relentless questioning of the male anatomy he still cannot comprehend Bandaid wrappers, and when tranquilizing is NOT the worst thing you can do to an alligator. 

The guys discuss how it’s just proper etiquette (and an excellent fighting strategy) to apologize prior to punching your wife in the knees and taking her sack of rocks, when being a whore can save you a trip to the grocery store, and why choosing the correct bathing suit is imperative when pulling 9Gs to keep all your teeth.

The guys discuss how garlic butter without mushrooms is not enough to justify homicide, why it’s necessary for goat costumes to be made of Kevlar during outdoor sexy time, and when Damon’s face nestled securely in your bosom is the key to safe travel.