Freddy believed that he had to sacrifice his life for the benefit of mankind.

But committing suicide is a mortal sin, and he'd be condemned forever for it.

He tried suicide-by-cop, but as hard as he tried to get shot and killed, he was either tased or clubbed into submission.

And his sentence wasn't a death sentence. He got ten years.

Running for the electrified fences would be suicide.

So, he'd try to rile up other prisoners to kill him.

After some savage beatings, the prisoners tended to leave Freddy alone.

And he sat there in his cell, utterly morose.

For Halloween, Brian bought a box of Pixie Stix.

Then he opened the tubes up, poured out a bit of the sugar candy, and added poison to each.

Then he sealed them back up and put them in the beggar bowl.

On Halloween Night, the emergency lines lit up.

Kids were dying from the poisoned candy.

It didn't take long to figure out it was the Pixie Stix, and some kids remembered where they got them.

From Brian's neighbor. He'd put them in their bowl.

His bowl had Snickers.

But he didn't count on their Ring doorbell camera filming him.

I was looking for meaning, so I joined The Church.

I wish I hadn't.

A church? More like... a cult.

A horrible, horrible cult.

The things I saw... the things that were done to me...

I can't tell you. I'm so ashamed.

So, I escaped. I ran.

And they found me.

The others who had escaped.

And they took me in.

They helped me.

So, I stayed with them.

I wish I hadn't.

A survivor's group? More like... a cult.

The things I saw... the things that were done to me.

So, I escaped. I ran.

Back to The Church.

Lisa

Richard

Lizzie

Serendipidy

Norval Joe

Planet Z

LISA

The Hair and the Tortoise

I’ve got a three year old, it makes me not question anything... like yesterday I went into the bathroom and they’ve hacked their own hair off then glued it to the toilet seat next to our pet tortoise, Rex.

Anyway, I started trying to pick the hair off and predictably Rex slipped in. Toddler then runs over and pulls the flush. And Rex has gone, like completely GONE. I know I should’ve taken Rex off first, but I don’t like touching Rex. Didn’t like touching Rex. The hairy glue won’t come of the toilet seat either. Fuck my actual life.

An old postcard

LIZZIE

"Grab your passport and run." Good advice from the boss.

When his underboss took me to the airplane, I looked unsure. I was the only passenger and I seemed frightened. He nodded. I grabbed my notepad and showed him my notes. "I'm just a journalist." He nodded some more.

When he grabbed his gun, I smiled. He was confused. I clicked the button and the plane exploded, underboss included.

I'm not sure why I needed the passport, but who am I to question the boss. After all, whatever he decided was the speediest way of getting your life significantly shortened.

RICHARD

Edward

Edward wasn't the speediest runner in the world. To be fair to him, tortoises aren't generally regarded as sprinters, but that never stopped him from competing - he was stubborn like that.

Of course, people laughed at him, but he didn't care, for him it was all about the taking part, not the winning.

Although, winning - now and again - would be nice.

Edward wasn't nice.

Which is how he came to be grinding up drugs into the hare's energy drink on race day.

Didn't work though.

If you're going to try doping your opponents, speed isn't the best drug of choice!

SERENDIPIDY

The famous hangman, Albert Pierrepoint, was renowned for the rapidity with which he despatched his clients. The speedier the execution, the better the outcome; at least, that was his approach.

It's not for me.

I want to see you dangling and choking, your body twitching, whilst your breath wheezes painfully as the noose slowly constricts.

Not for me, the quick snap of the neck, as you drop from the optimum height. Instead, I'll haul you into position, your own body weight throttling the life from you as you're eased up from the floor.

You'll still die.

But, slowly and painfully.

NORVAL JOE

If Sabrina's outright lie offended Linoliamanda, she didn't show it, and rejoined Billbert and the witch, following them to class.

Uncomfortable with Sabrina's deception, Billbert tried to lighten the situation by asking, "What are you doing in Eureka, Linoliamanda?"

She smiled. "Daddy wanted to open a new location of Carpet King." In the speediest change of subject Billbert had ever seen, Linoliamnda continued, "Sabrina. You know Billbert can fly, don't you?"

Sabrina shrugged. "I know when we touch our magic makes us levitate, but I wouldn't call it flying."

Linoliamanda shook her head. "It's not magic. He can really fly."

PLANET Z

The secret police are everywhere.

They are behind every door and every wall.

They are upstairs, listening to the floor.

They are downstairs, listening to the ceiling.

They are at every window, looking in and watching.

If you ask them if they are the secret police, they will deny it.

They will claim to be neighbors, deliverymen, plumbers, and pretty much everything but the secret police.

"I'm dressed as a policeman," says one. "That's silly, isn't it, being the secret police and dressed like police?"

He's right. It is silly.

And he nods and speaks into his cuff: "All clear."

Hi there. This is Laurence Simon of the 100 Word Stories Podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

Every week, I post a topic for the Weekly Challenge, where you come up with the stories and I collect them up and share them.

Want to give it a try? The topic of the next 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge is Thumbs Up

Write a 100 word story on that topic. Then, send it in an email to isfullofcrap (at) gmail.com with the subject line of WEEKLY CHALLENGE.

Include the following:

The text of your story.

A topic or topics for future Weekly Challenges.

A website where people can learn more about you and your writing, include the URL to that website.

A recording of your story. Be sure to introduce yourself to the audience.

https://oneadayuntilthedayidie.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/thenexttopicisTHUMBSUP.mp3

I put the episode together on Sunday morning. But, if you need more time, I can put your story up on the feed in a separate post.

Good luck, and as always... keep it brief.

JAN 2 Overexposed

JAN 9 Even

JAN 16 Pick one

JAN 23 Fight fire with fire

JAN 30 Velcro, Typo, Warren, A thin veneer, Age, Streak

FEB 6 I was very young

FEB 13 Brownie mix

FEB 20 Cliché

FEB 27 Feeble, Uncompromising, Flowering, Are we there yet?, Late, I'll be there

MARCH 6 Hair

MARCH 13 Slippery slope

MARCH 20 Too much to bear

MARCH 27 Weather, Varnish, Explanation, Preventative Maintenance, Contact, Landing

APRIL 3 Mice cream

APRIL 10 Free

APRIL 17 Chewy

APRIL 24 Godzilla, The sweet smell of success, Proposal, Sentence, Trust, Twist

MAY 1 Thicket

MAY 8 Every good intention

MAY 15 Train

MAY 22 Spook

MAY 29 Thousands of years, Virtual reality, Prompt, Extremely flexible, Consensus, Major

JUNE 5 Scoreboard

JUNE 12 Anywhere

JUNE 19 Blocker

JUNE 26 Major, Koala, Bleak, Pool, USB socket, Gadget

JULY 3 Robot

JULY 10 Choke

JULY 17 Cross country

JULY 24 Pop

JULY 31 Where's Ethel?, Toothpaste, Concertina, Pacing, Screaming Kids, Tie

AUG 7 Deal

AUG 14 Archimedes

AUG 21 Evidence

AUG 28 Water Torture, Own, Cassette tape, Remember, Remote, Everyone

SEP 4 Mimes

SEP 11 Contact lens

SEP 18 Crash

SEP 25 Clemency, Millions, Arrow, January, Code, Offroad

OCT 2 Speediest

OCT 9 Thumbs up

OCT 16 Remote

OCT 23 What happens next?

OCT 30 Quit, Mouse trap, Base, Facts, Martian, Stamp

NOV 6 Remastered

NOV 13 Heated

NOV 20 Record

NOV 27 The way we were, Waterproof, The wrong words, Bottomless pit, Safe, A word from an unknown language.

DEC 4 Irresistible

DEC 11 Anaheim

DEC 18 Speed

DEC 25 Put that thing down, Spycam, Pew, Evidence, March, Thick

Horror on the subway!

Exposed

Your honor

Diet

Point

Superhero

Host

Scroll

Style

Range

Together

Block

Cracked pavement

Shenanigans

Blinded

As far as the eye can see

Intake

Forward

Satisfied

Collection

Frozen in time

Recovery

Moisture

Stand

Canyon

Reviewal

Old Videos

Riot of color

Split

Potato eyes

Photograph

It's a dirty job

Fine

Overhead

Why should I?

Mass

Mustard yellow

Basic

Opportunity

Afford

Blue sky

Part

Rat stew

Points

Detail

Stolen

Bread

Brand awareness

Contact lens

Trailers

Eaten by lions

The lion that ate cherries

Aurora

Hard to believe

Contribution

Crew cut

Dealers

Dirty

Lot

Random

Envision

Dozen

Secretary

Vision

Fuel

It's a pattern

Cheers

Refreshment

ABC

Thermostat

Diddums

Sponsor

Old Master

Rhymes with...

Grasp

Heinz 57

Loop

Unleashed

Buttery

Tramlines

Vast

Unit

Trying

Painfully shy

Rats

Translation

Crack of dawn

Shine

Falling

Rotten egg

Some guy/girl I met online

Hopeless

Fog a mirror

Oblique

Exterior

Black hole

Videotape

Stakes

Double dip

Goth

Educator

Overheating

Metrics

Figure

Balance

Schism

Flower basket

Double

Heat

Carrots

Rust

Wafer-thin

Creep

Pillows

Pester

Crack

Bookcase

Verdict

Sprint

Crisp

Vulgar

Pregnant

Position

Benefits

Car crash

Free gift

Long live The King

Hit

Scribble

I have lifetime passes to Disney parks.

My elderly parents want me to use them to take them to Disney World.

But my dad requires a walker and my mother has the bitchy and feisty form of Dementia.

Along with gastrointestinal issues which randomly park her on the toilet for hours.

I would have an absolutely miserable time there, more miserable than they usually make me.

So... I did what any good son would do.

I took them to Disney World.

Flew First Class, got the best suite at the resort.

And I spread their ashes at the Haunted Mansion.

After his Reggie's wife died, LazarusTech picked up the body and brought it back to their lab.

Nobody's quite sure what they do there.

Camera crews aren't allowed in, and employees never talk.

Bodies go in, deliveries go out.

Three days later, LazarusTech delivered the clone of Reggie's wife to Reggie.

"She has all of your wife's memories," said the technician.

And she opened her eyes.

"You fucking poisoned me!" she yelled, grabbing Reggie by the throat.

Reggie fought back and killed her.

"That violates the warranty," said the technician.

He carried the body to the van and drove off.

Ever notice those people standing at intersections, with their cardboard signs, begging for money?

Where do they go at night?

There's a homeless camp by the freeway.

It started with carboard boxes and makeshift tents from duct-taped trash bags.

Eventually, actual camping tents showed up.

It's cheaper to toss trash from construction and refurbs in the weeds than to pay the dump, so leftover materials led to a small village of shacks.

I drove by there and saw Halloween decorations going up.

Do they dress up for Trick or Treat?

Imagine that, kids going door to door, begging from beggars.

Usually, on Halloween, it's kids going around the neighborhood, begging for candy.

But with the pandemic and businesses closing and people losing their jobs, they're going around begging for money and food.

And they have their parents with them.

So, we turned the porch light off, closed the garage, and turned off the doorbell.

Which, on second thought, was a bad idea, making people think we weren't at home.

Yeah, they tried to kick in the door to rob our house.

So, we treated them to two rounds of buckshot.

They got their candy and backsides x-rayed all at once.

Every now and then, a visitor to the Holy Land will lose their mind, act like they're Jesus or some other holy figure, and cause a ruckus.

Experts call this Jerusalem Syndrome, and it's usually just some other condition like schizophrenia or paranoia manifesting itself.

And then, there's the times when a visitor to Graceland will lose their mind, act like they're Elvis or Priscilla or The Colonel, and cause a ruckus.

Experts call this Nashville Syndrome.

Well, publicly.

Amongst themselves, they stick out their tongue, roll their eyes, and wiggle their finger next to their ear.

Experts are pricks.