Hi there. This is Laurence Simon of the 100 Word Stories Podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

Every week, I post a topic for the Weekly Challenge, where you come up with the stories and I collect them up and share them.

Want to give it a try? The topic of the next 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge is PICK ONE

Write a 100 word story on that topic. Then, send it in an email to isfullofcrap (at) gmail.com with the subject line of WEEKLY CHALLENGE.

Also, suggest a topic or topics for future Weekly Challenges.

Do you have a website where people can learn more about you and your writing? Include the URL to that website.

Most importantly, include a recording of your story. Be sure to introduce yourself to the audience.

I put the episode together on Sunday morning. However, if you need more time, I can put your story up on the feed in a separate post.

Good luck, and as always… keep it brief.

JAN 5 crunch

JAN 12 fake

JAN 19 shark

JAN 26 PICK TWO: pulled from the water, quirk, pride, ploy, goof, exposed

FEB 2 hankering

FEB 9 lapse

FEB 16 hot potato

FEB 23 PICK TWO: contest, hop to it, toys, pain, treading water, protect

MAR 1 tinfoil

MAR 8 gate

MAR 15 gulf

MAR 22 device

MAR 29 PICK TWO: to hell with the critics, selfie, jute, impossible, do the needful, icon

APRIL 5 not

APRIL 12 dendrite

APRIL 19 sanitize

APRIL 26 PICK TWO: ecology, rash, aberration, plinth, mnemonic, wrought

MAY 3 chemistry

MAY 10 nobody gets out of here alive

MAY 17 empowered

MAY 24 illuminate

MAY 31 PICK TWO: null, smartphone, audio, alternative, hot, seek

JUN 7 We apologise for the inconvenience

JUN 14 mushroom

JUN 21 what’s that on the radar?

JUN 28 PICK TWO: mass, trade, headache, pick me, It’s not you it’s me,

JUL 5 cleave

JUL 12 soar

JUL 19 powder

JUL 26 PICK TWO: case, chewable, grasshopper, signals from outer space, here be monsters, deadly

AUG 2 who’s blood is that?

AUG 9 beans

AUG 16 traitor

AUG 23 pick a card… any card!

AUG 30 PICK TWO: a new beginning, library, Ireland, storyteller, friends, home

SEP 6 camp

SEP 13 deploy

SEP 20 anchor

SEP 27 PICK TWO: indigo, anchor, shell, squeaky clean, jaw, amphibious

OCT 4 money

OCT 11 boxer

OCT 18 kitten

OCT 25 PICK TWO: piano, mongoose, tower, cartoon, evil, serve

NOV 1 Revolution

NOV 8 plump

NOV 15 chainsaw

NOV 22 cluster

NOV 29 PICK TWO: reward, puppet, global, gear, shop, pit stop

DEC 6 still

DEC 13 pick one

DEC 20 fruitcake

DEC 27 PICK TWO: the hand that feeds you, scope, dresser, pit stop, quip, knave

FUTURE TOPICS

JAN 3 Fire

JAN 10 Why is mother crying?

JAN 17 Get a life!

JAN 24 How does that grab you?

JAN 31 Prowling, Canon, Everything, To/Too/Two, Risk, Delinquent, Spray Tan

FEB 7 Smalltalk

FEB 14 Pizza

FEB 21 Wine

FAN 28 Ruins, Cone, A toast!, Rebel, Dive, Name change, Glow

MAR 7 Tilting

MAR 14 Behind a bush

MAR 21 Unlimited

MAR 28 Remember only this…, Scope, Church, Melt, Fade, Bare

APR 4 River crossing

APR 11 Advanced

APR 18 Saint

APR 25 Fuming, Bean, When will it stop raining, Vaccine, Quarrantine, Helmet, Tin

MAY 2 List

MAY 9 Stay safe

MAY 16 Don’t press the button!

MAY 23 Hand

MAY 30 Address, Blundering buffoon, Bunny, View, Wizard, What’s that on the horizon?, Bark

JUN 6 Trade

JUN 13 Riding shotgun

JUN 20 Prompt

JUN 27 Crystalline, Copper, Outbreak, Demure, Paper thin, Bonus, Bleach

JUL 4 So many questions

JUL 11 Needle

JUL 18 Letter

Andrew was fascinated by Santa Claus.

After decades of research, one thing he could never answer was: what was Mrs. Claus’ name?

While out hiking in Norway, he came across a strange cave.

It was warm and green inside, populated by tiny people, singing happily, building toys.

All watched over by the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

“Niobe,” said a voice, and Andrew turned to face an ancient man with a long white beard.

“Which makes you… Merlin,” said Andrew.

The ancient wizard smiled. “And I can’t let you leave.”

Meat made the elves work harder and sing happier.

Santa knows when you’ve been good or bad.

He also knows if you’re a good or bad credit risk.

Credit rating agencies constantly ask Santa for assessments.

Because it’s easy to fool the credit rating agencies.

Or fill their records with all kinds of false reports.

But, try as you might, you can’t fool Santa.

Leaving milk and cookies on the mantel is one way to get your credit score up.

And sending a thank you note after Christmas will net you a few points.

As for sexual favors, well, the naughtier, the better your chances for a Gold card.

It was the first Christmas for the peacekeeping mission, and we sent out teams with trees and ribbons and gifts and supplies to make nice with the Christian minority population.

We were greeted with hugs and thanks and what little they could scrape up, offering candies and treats and dances and songs.

Wreaths on their doors and a moment of peace and love in their hearts.

We might as well have painted bullseyes on their front doors.

The deathsquads sent out more men to shoot and blow them up.

The green of Islam, the red of Christian blood.

Merry Christmas.

I remember when candy canes were made by hand.

Every step… mixing, heating, rolling, stretching, and so on.

All done by people.

As each machine took its place in the line, there would be people putting things in it or taking things out of it.

But there were still people involved.

Eventually, the machines all connected to other machines, a fully integrated process, and no room was left for people.

They clean themselves now, they manage themselves, and they repair themselves too.

The candy canes taste horrible, but they look nice.

We just put them on the tree these days.

It’s a strange situation.

Santa doesn’t believe in the Easter Bunny.

The Easter Bunny doesn’t believe in The Great Pumpkin.

The Great Pumpkin doesn’t believe in The Loch Ness Monster.

The Boogeyman. Bigfoot. The Monster Under the Bed.

And so on. All the way down to Jesus.

Nobody believes in him anymore.

Not even himself.

So, they made a union. The Mythical Creatures and Beings Union.

And they all committed to believe in each other.

They had regular meetings, kept statistics, and offered mentoring.

After a while, everybody believed in everything.

The world became a very scary and weird place.

We built a line of snowmen along the driveway, all with twig arms out in salute.

My dad would drive past them and salute back.

Then, we’d knock over the snowmen and spray red food dye on them.

When dad came back, he was horrified at the carnage.

But the real horror wasn’t until Spring.

Because the red food dye was toxic to grass.

We ended up spending the summer reseeding, resodding, and fertilizing the bald patches in the lawn.

And when the winter came again, we weren’t allowed to make snowmen again.

Or go anywhere near the kitchen cabinet.

* Lizzie

* Richard

* Serendipidy

* Tom

* Tura

* Norval Joe

* Rick

* Planet Z

LIZZIE

She hated being a puppet in his hands. What gave her some peace was walking down the pathway with the old trees. One day, she noticed something shiny to the right. A marble perhaps? The next day, she brought some beads and left them there. And that’s when the gifts appeared on the pathway. First a bit of glass. Then, a button, an old key. It made her smile. It gave her strength. And she said “no more”. She walked away from him, for good. Today, she still walks that pathway, exchanging gifts with her new friend, a very generous crow.

RICHARD

Scum

“Got any gear?”

I looked at the kid with distaste. He was every inch the stereotypical druggie: Shambling and sniffing, his vacant eyes darting around in paranoid fear from his sallow, pock-marked face.

I nodded. “For the right price.”

He fumbled a handful of dirty bills from somewhere deep within his sweatpants – now you know why I always wear gloves – and I slipped him the small polythene packet.

I despise scum like him.

And I imagine that you despise scum, like me.

But, I’m just a puppet. It’s the people pulling my strings you should despise most.

I do.

SERENDIPITY

Have you ever wondered why so many serial killers remove their victims’ body parts to take as souvenirs?

It’s our reward for a job well done.

After all, no-one else is going to congratulate us on our work, so we have to take things into our own hands.

But, what to do with all those body parts, once we’ve got them? We can’t exactly put them on display or show them off to our friends!

So, I turn them into children’s toys: Lovingly crafted marionettes and puppets from stolen parts and pieces.

Perhaps your kids would like one for Christmas?

TOM

Cluster Fuck II

The woman who had set this in motion gave me that second grade teach stare. “Inappropriate language Master Marquette.” I always vexes me when someone with multiple children takes umbrage with the term. How the fuck did you end up with them, but say cluster fuck, well that just not polite intercourse. So I looked at her and gave her a “WE BE ADULTS HERE LOOK.” I wanted to say “I an’t no reward puppet, you call me up to dance, you better have a band a hand.” But she had dash back inside the hall as the music played.

TURA

Gear; Pit stop

———

At car races nowadays, the cars drive themselves, and the pit stops are totally automated. The machines can swap out a busted gearbox in seconds. No-one programs anything, the robots learn by competing against each other.

Rumour is that there’s no longer any human input, from the racetracks, to the factories, to the mines and oil wells. New tracks get built without anyone asking for them. There are twice as many as two years ago, and they’re bigger.

It’s still the most popular spectator sport, but soon the world might be just one huge racetrack, with no-one left to watch.

———

NORVAL JOE

One of the federal agents shouted at Mrs. Blanketmaker. “There’s a global conspiracy to turn all of you heroes into villains. You’re walking into their trap. Before you know it you’ll be puppets of their evil organization.”

Mr. Withybottom blustered at the agent, “Are you telling me that skinny little kid over there is,...

Hi there. This is Laurence Simon of the 100 Word Stories Podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

Every week, I post a topic for the Weekly Challenge, where you come up with the stories and I collect them up and share them.

Want to give it a try? The topic of the next 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge is PICK TWO: reward, puppet, global, gear, shop, pit stop

Write a 100 word story on that topic. Then, send it in an email to isfullofcrap (at) gmail.com with the subject line of WEEKLY CHALLENGE.

Also, suggest a topic or topics for future Weekly Challenges.

Do you have a website where people can learn more about you and your writing? Include the URL to that website.

Most importantly, include a recording of your story. Be sure to introduce yourself to the audience.

I put the episode together on Sunday morning. However, if you need more time, I can put your story up on the feed in a separate post.

Good luck, and as always… keep it brief.

JAN 5 crunch

JAN 12 fake

JAN 19 shark

JAN 26 PICK TWO: pulled from the water, quirk, pride, ploy, goof, exposed

FEB 2 hankering

FEB 9 lapse

FEB 16 hot potato

FEB 23 PICK TWO: contest, hop to it, toys, pain, treading water, protect

MAR 1 tinfoil

MAR 8 gate

MAR 15 gulf

MAR 22 device

MAR 29 PICK TWO: to hell with the critics, selfie, jute, impossible, do the needful, icon

APRIL 5 not

APRIL 12 dendrite

APRIL 19 sanitize

APRIL 26 PICK TWO: ecology, rash, aberration, plinth, mnemonic, wrought

MAY 3 chemistry

MAY 10 nobody gets out of here alive

MAY 17 empowered

MAY 24 illuminate

MAY 31 PICK TWO: null, smartphone, audio, alternative, hot, seek

JUN 7 We apologise for the inconvenience

JUN 14 mushroom

JUN 21 what’s that on the radar?

JUN 28 PICK TWO: mass, trade, headache, pick me, It’s not you it’s me,

JUL 5 cleave

JUL 12 soar

JUL 19 powder

JUL 26 PICK TWO: case, chewable, grasshopper, signals from outer space, here be monsters, deadly

AUG 2 who’s blood is that?

AUG 9 beans

AUG 16 traitor

AUG 23 pick a card… any card!

AUG 30 PICK TWO: a new beginning, library, Ireland, storyteller, friends, home

SEP 6 camp

SEP 13 deploy

SEP 20 anchor

SEP 27 PICK TWO: indigo, anchor, shell, squeaky clean, jaw, amphibious

OCT 4 money

OCT 11 boxer

OCT 18 kitten

OCT 25 PICK TWO: piano, mongoose, tower, cartoon, evil, serve

NOV 1 Revolution

NOV 8 plump

NOV 15 chainsaw

NOV 22 cluster

NOV 29 PICK TWO: reward, puppet, global, gear, shop, pit stop

DEC 6 still

DEC 13 pick one

DEC 20 fruitcake

DEC 27 PICK TWO: the hand that feeds you, scope, dresser, pit stop, quip, knave

FUTURE TOPICS

JAN 3 Fire

JAN 10 Why is mother crying?

JAN 17 Get a life!

JAN 24 How does that grab you?

JAN 31 Prowling, Canon, Everything, To/Too/Two, Risk, Delinquent, Spray Tan

FEB 7 Smalltalk

FEB 14 Pizza

FEB 21 Wine

FAN 28 Ruins, Cone, A toast!, Rebel, Dive, Name change, Glow

MAR 7 Tilting

MAR 14 Behind a bush

MAR 21 Unlimited

MAR 28 Remember only this…, Scope, Church, Melt, Fade, Bare

APR 4 River crossing

APR 11 Advanced

APR 18 Saint

APR 25 Fuming, Bean, When will it stop raining, Vaccine, Quarrantine, Helmet, Tin

MAY 2 List

MAY 9 Stay safe

MAY 16 Don’t press the button!

MAY 23 Hand

MAY 30 Address, Blundering buffoon, Bunny, View, Wizard, What’s that on the horizon?, Bark

JUN 6 Trade

JUN 13 Riding shotgun

JUN 20 Prompt

JUN 27 Crystalline, Copper, Outbreak, Demure, Paper thin, Bonus, Bleach

JUL 4 So many questions

Doctor Odd loved the holidays.

Every year, he’d craft some bizarre advent calendar, slowly revealing some nefarious plot to take over the world.

Or destroy it. Either way, he wasn’t picky.

This year’s effort would be his masterpiece.

Each day, he revealed a cure to some disease or affliction.

Cancer. AIDS. The common cold.

By the 24th day, he’d cured everything.

The world sang his praises on Christmas Day.

Then, Odd revealed his Nightmare Plague.

Why did he go through the trouble of creating all those cures?

He wanted a clean slate upon which to test his own newly-crafted disease.