The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Bless his heart, the Lake George Foreman named all of his sons after himself. I mean, if you want to do that, OK, but when they grow up to be the mayor, governor, congressman, Senator, vice president, and president, you’re not doing the country any favors. Some people on the press would use their numbers like fifth and fourth. Others just use their titles. In the end, nobody really cared since they all ended up doing a really good job and were reelected time and time again, and retired into various jobs in the community. Except for one, that jerk.

The next topic is Fringe

LIZZIE

The omnibus edition included three of eight books. The release would take place in a week. However, the printing took longer than expected. The printer kept having to reprint everything. Odd pages would appear. After a few attempts, the editor decided to just print it and see what happened. We’ll say it’s a special remixed edition, he said. Right before the release, the editor leafed through the book. There was nothing wrong. And then he noticed it. There were not three but four books included, all in perfect order. Sometimes, we just have to let magic happen on its own.

RICHARD

Bus Stop

TOM

The Chevrolet 2037 Omnibus

See the USA in your Chevrolet America’s asking you to call Drive your Chevrolet through the USA America’s the greatest land of all On a highway or a road along a levee Performance is sweeter, nothing can beat her Life is completer in a Chevy So, make a date today to see the USA And see it in your Chevrolet Travelin’ east, travelin’ west Wherever you go Chevy service is best Southward or north, near place or far There’s a Chevrolet dealer for your Chevrolet car See the USA in your Chevrolet. Chevrolet Omnibus seats 160 luxury on gravedigger’s wage.

SERENDIPIDY

My parents were avid readers of horror stories, but they didn’t really have much class.

NORVAL JOE

When the social worker arrived they all sat in the living room as Sabrina told her story.

The woman closed one eye skeptically. “You’re telling me that this boy’s parents kidnapped you to create a tsunami to wipe out a coven of witches, and then they were carried away in a tornado?”

“No,” Sabrina said. “Only his father was.”

“Well, that makes it all better,” she said with heavy sarcasm. “Let me add that to my omnibus of pitiful excuses. I’ll have to take Sabrina and find a more appropriate placement for her.”

“Please,” Billbert’s mother said. “Wait one moment.”

PLANET Z

The route to my grade school went along a road with a lot of construction. And they were frequent potholes and carve outs in the narrow lanes. Our usual bus driver navigated these rather skillfully. Never driving too fast. However, when they took a day off, the substitute driver was reckless. thankfully, We made it along the rough road easily, but when we turned into a residential area, he hit the speed bumps pretty hard. The kids in the far back were thrown against the ceiling. One broke his neck and died. And I didn’t get home until after dark.

It was weird how McCafferty just showed up one day at a team meeting. There wasn’t a job posting, there weren’t any interviews. He just showed up one day and he had a badge and a laptop and a parking space. Human resources didn’t remember hiring him, and the boss didn’t remember anything. And he knew the company and the projects and all of our platforms and software and tools perfectly from day one. The next day, he was gone. No one remembered him ever having been there. It made me wonder about my own existence and I’d disappear suddenly.

My wife and I had work schedules that made it difficult to get to the bank together, but my mother always insisted on putting both of our names on any checks she sent us. I told her not to do that, but she kept doing it. I’d end up shredding the checks because it was so inconvenient to cash them. When my parents had financial difficulties, I would make the checks out to my mother and a completely random person. That way, it was just as inconvenient if not impossible for her to cash those checks. Turnabout is fair play.

Before a soldier is cloned and his backup, reloaded, instructors walk them through the situation that got them killed. Haverford have been killed 23 times before he got out of Boot Camp, and every time, it look like he learned from his mistake, but he’d make an all new mistake. When he finally made it out to the front lines, he was an absolute machine. He cut through the enemies position like a hot knife through butter. He racked up every metal available. The instructors patted him on the back, not knowing they had installed a different soldiers memory pack.

It was a sad day at action Park. Johnny, the lifeguard had drowned. The Park owner insisted on giving him a Viking funeral. They found a bumper boat in the maintenance shed with a busted engine they could use. They threw his body in it and set it on the wave pool. They tossed in some wood and newspaper and gasoline, and when it was time through in a lit match. It took them three tries before the fire caught. All the other guests and staff raised their beers to toast Johnny. During the ceremony, two more stupid kids drowned.

I live in a small town just outside of another small town and everything here is walking distance. The grocery store, the pharmacy, my doctor, my dentist, everything. I do a lot of walking through the trees and the paths. It’s healthy, unless walking in the bright sunlight without sunscreen, through mosquito season without repellent, or I pick up a cheeseburger at the burger joint which I have to walk even more to burn off. But in my defense, I don’t get fries or a shake. So in the end, it all balances out until somebody’s car will hit me

I watched a video of how they harvest almonds. They’ve got this pair of tractors, one with a gripper that shakes the tree and another that puts kind of a tarp basket under it to catch all the almonds that shake off. They do this with other trees for harvesting. I’d figure it would work with my cousin Ortho, who has really horrible dandruff. We snuck into McGregor‘s farm and got the shaker tractor going. Ortho wound up with two broken legs and a concussion. And the dumbass forgot to take off his hat, so we’ll go out there again.

The next topic is Omnibus

RICHARD

Blinding

LISA

Loot or Die

SERENDIPIDY

No pulse.

NORVAL JOE

Patrick didn’t look like he was ready to confess anything and eyed the door.

His pulse racing, Billbert dashed to the door and blocked it as Patrick lunged from his chair.

Billbert needn’t have made the effort. Sabrina, nearly half Patrick’s size, tackled him and releasing her pent-up rage, kicked him three times in the crotch.

Billbert’s stomach ached in sympathy as Patrick groaned and writhed on the floor.

Mrs. Weinerheimer held out her hand and Patrick’s silenced as her efficiency helped him to heal himself.

“That’s enough,” she snapped. “Everyone get back to what you’re supposed to be doing.”

TOM

Guns of Christmas

Billy created a pulse gun when he was 13. Well, it was pretty much a magnetic potato gun, but it was a fairly impressive start to a career. His doctoral thesis at MIT was enough to have the North Koreans offer him a billion dollars to build the damn thing. As in all thing North Korean, the west had no idea this was the main military project. They used their ICBM program as a cleave ruse. On Christmas day 2099 battery of pulse gun reduced Seoul to lake of metal. The Chicness cut a deal the next day.

PLANET Z

Chang had a good job. He led an execution van crew. They would roll up to a prison, collect a few inmates, and while driving to the hospital, they would kill them and put them on life support systems to maintain their organs. When they arrived at the hospital, doctors would collect the bodies. Chang never felt guilty for this, if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. Until Chang was caught posting photos of himself in the van that Amnesty International got a hold of. Two years later, Chang went from a crew leader to a passenger.

Edward noticed a discrepancy. A lot more people were dying in nursing homes than when a robot was sent out to help someone with in a home care. The statistics showed an elevated number of assisted suicide requests in the nursing homes. And a few had elevated medication error rates. Because of the turnover, nursing homes could turn through residence were frequently and collect more down payments. Several years later, after all the settlements, Edward retired to a resort on a Caribbean island. All human staff. Not a single robot. his nurse poisoned him, stole his money, and completely vanished.